Irreparable
by Rob Sears
Summary: A year after the destruction of the Reapers, Tali still refuses to believe that John Shepard, the man she loved, was killed in action. The galaxy has moved on, but she has been unable to. Embarking on a quest for the truth, Tali vows to tear the entire galaxy apart to prove that Shepard is still out there, alive and well, even if her journey takes her to the brink of madness.
1. Prologue: Prague, Earth

Earth - Approximately one year after the end of the Reaper War

It hurt to run.

Danton could feel every single molecule in his body cry for respite, but he did not stop. He could not stop. Not now. It just wasn't his time.

Each time the thought came into his head for him to slow down a bit, perhaps ease the pain in his legs some, another part of his brain overrode that foolish notion and urged him on, begging for him to keep going – to speed up at least, for god's sake.

Danton's throat itched fiercely, like he had poured liquid fire down it. His breath came in rasps, his lungs straining to tear the air out of the sky itself. His mouth was agape as he ran, allowing saliva to drool freely down his chin. As he whipped his head from side to side, flecks of spittle flew everywhere, some splattering down his damp shirt. Sweat poured into his eyes, irritating them as the salty drop dripped into them. Tears joined the mix, brought on by panic and adrenaline, not sorrow and anguish.

He clutched at his chest, wheezing as his feet flew over the crumbling rubble of the street. Danton managed a hacking cough, almost bringing him down to the ground. His feet kicked at a loose stone, sending it clattering over the cobbled pavement. He continued going straight, past the cloud of dust, through the thoroughfare, and almost ended up into the Vltava, his feet barely skidding to a stop as he wheeled his arms to halt his momentum.

The dirty waters of the River Vltava had been like this for more than a year now. Once a sparkling ribbon of blue, the arrival of the Reapers had completely thrown all of the debris of the old city of Prague into the water itself, staining it the dirty brown color it was today. Danton had never seen the historical town in all its glory before, having spent most of his childhood on the Citadel, but he had seen pictures of times more fortunate in the area, when Earth was still relatively untouched by the hands of the machines.

Whereas the magnificent architecture would normally loom above the short houses of the downtown area, now there were just shells. Stones and other sorts of rubble now piled up in the streets, still waiting to be excavated after all this time. The historic district had been cleaned up by this time but the surrounding neighborhoods still looked like a ghost town. Apartment doors were kicked down, every single window on every floor smashed to bits. Any paint left on the walls had been scuffed or blackened by fire. A constant shroud of dust clung to the dying city, coating its residents in a reminder of what they used to have.

That dirt is what Danton wiped from his face as he nervously teetered on the edge of the wall that separated the sidewalk from the diseased river. Bouncing his weight from foot to foot, the human's eyes scrambled around before he found a footbridge, just a short distance away to his left. Thanking whatever deity was looking out for him, he bent over to cough up a lung before he tenderly resumed his prior pace again.

As Danton crossed the bridge, the warm autumn winds tugged at his coat now that he was out in the open. No longer in the brown mist, the sun was allowed to shine freely between the patchy clouds overhead. It was a beautiful day in Prague, the morning promising better things to come later. He could even see the towering steeples of the churches over the broken homes, flocks of pigeons orbiting around them like they were magnetically bound to them. If he listened hard enough, he could swear that he could hear the rumblings of a normal city.

Danton's moment of mental relaxation only lasted five seconds in real time, though. The gravity of the situation tugged at his subconscious, pulling him back down to the ground. Remembering why he was here, Danton now focused fully on running, not daring to look behind him. It did not matter how much his chest ached, or how badly he wanted to throw up, he could not stop unless he was absolutely sure that he was safe. As much as he appreciated the scenery, it mattered little to him in the grand scheme of things. He needed to get to the safe zone; Argeir would have troops that could protect him. All his life he had been sheltered by more powerful men, his purpose only to provide an extra step so that others could make the climb. Argeir was just the latest in a long line of masters, but a just master he was, and Danton was in the position to test the limits of the man's justness

Reaching the end of the footbridge, Danton hopped over the hood of a skycar, its body cracked, its windows bashed to hell. Yet another casualty of the Prague Rejuvenation League's laziness, but such sights were common in practically every city on the planet. Hell, in the galaxy even. Jumping off the transport, Danton's foot caught on a broken brick that had been hidden behind the skycar and he finally went down, rolling along the rough terrain, his knees smacking painfully on the concrete.

Gasping angrily, Danton gingerly pushed himself back to his feet, his palms scraped, his knees banged up. Blood was now starting to ooze through his jeans, due to him skinning his legs. Now with a slight limp, curses were barely uttered as he hobbled forward, intent on reaching the sector of the city under Argeir's control. It was only a few more minutes at this pace and he would be home free. Full of hopeful thoughts, Danton was therefore shaken from them as a snap shot past his ear, causing him to instinctively jump to the side as the bullet from a sniper rifle passed feet from his body to embed itself into the stone pillar at the opposite end of the cobbled road.

Danton's momentum hurled him through the window of an abandoned storefront and he cried out as shards of glass cut into his skin. It was not plate glass, thank god for that, but safety glass that fragmented into granular bits. The cuts were all superficial anyway, but it looked to Danton that he had just wandered through a slaughterhouse. Dripping even more blood, Danton staggered through the empty pub (he now recognized that it _was_ a pub that he had wandered into) and blindly pushed through the doors, desperate to reach an exit. Throwing his weight into a charge, he burst through the next gateway and stumbled back outside into a shadowy alley, just a few meters away from where he had originally entered. He edged back further a bit to make sure he was out of sight from the main road and, his body finally reaching its limit, finally bent his head and vomited onto the dirty pavement.

A sickly smell came to Danton's nostrils, causing another wave of nausea. He spat the remains of his digested breakfast from his mouth, wiping it with his sleeve and wincing at the foul aftertaste. Danton felt rather faint as he straightened up and he temporarily lost his balance, stumbling over so that his back was against the wall, supporting him.

A quick rattling from the end of the alley caused him to jolt in alarm. His hand shot inside his coat but he relaxed as soon as he saw two children, a boy and a girl, quietly shuffle their way out of a nearby refuse bin, covered head to toe in dirt.

Danton relaxed the grip on his pistol as he watched the children scamper off, frightened by the bleeding and vomiting man. Orphans, he guessed. Beggars torn from the civilized world thanks to the holocaust the Reapers had brought to Earth. The city was probably full of them, a complete underground filled with homeless people struggling to gain back their old lives most likely existed in every city that was war-torn. This probably was not a place for him to linger. He needed to get moving again.

He did not want to risk going back out into the main road again, so Danton followed the path the children had taken. He walked amongst the rubbish, watching his step so that he would not pierce his foot on a stray bit of glass or trip on another brick.

A crossroads in the alley soon came up, but thankfully, one of the routes showed light at the far end. A way out of the gloom. Now grinning, Danton crossed over a sea of broken pallets as he headed for the exit, the rotted wood snapping when he put all of his weight on the boards. Trying to walk faster despite the debilitating cramping in his legs, he could not help but limp regardless of how close he was to safety. Now he had a good idea of where he was - Argeir's sector was just over the next set of apartments. Danton wanted to cheer when he finally burst out into the sun, despite the fact that his exertions had just about robbed him of his voice.

Somehow, he had ended up in a small courtyard. An old fountain stood tall and proud in the middle of a raised pool, the stone green with moss and the basin completely dry. The vegetation in the squared away gardens had gone wild, branching out in all directions without anyone to tend to them. The trees swayed in the slight breeze, dropping their orange leaves at the faintest flutter. Grass sprung up between the cracks of the brick walkway, green tendrils desperately groping for the sun.

Danton momentarily frowned as he searched for a way out of here, but his despair quickly died as he spotted another alley at the opposite corner of the courtyard. A smirk on his face, he passed by the rows of park benches and his fingertips had only brushed the edge of the pool that contained the fountain when another sharp _crack_ set his ears ablaze and Danton's leg gave out from under him, causing him to pitch forward.

He screamed in pain, rolling over and finding to his horror, that a hole the size of an acorn had now formed in the back of his right calf. Whatever had entered had gone completely through his leg, bursting a wider hole out the front, splaying his shattered bones in every direction. The sensation was too much for him to register all at once. Danton could already feel his skin start to grow cold, clammy. The onset of shock, he realized.

With shaking hands, Danton managed to push himself backwards until his back was sitting against the pool's edge. He tried not to look at the blood leaking out of his leg, which was now numb and useless, laying at an awkward angle. He searched all around the courtyard for the person who did this to him. He knew they were close by, they might even be within a hundred feet of him!

Not knowing if the wound was mortal, Danton summoned up a reserve of courage and began to grope for the pistol that he kept holstered within his jacket. But as soon as he slipped his fingers underneath the lever, barely brushing the hilt at that point, a voice echoed across the enclosed area very clearly.

"Don't even think about it."

Danton considered his options for only a fraction of a second. The words made no difference to him at this point. Clenching his teeth in a foul grimace, he firmly grasped the handle of his weapon and drew it out as fast as he could, despite him not having a visual on his pursuer.

It did not help that his pursuer had a visual on _him_.

Another shot rang out and this time, Danton's pistol fell to the ground, the brushed metal now flecked with red. Danton could only stare at the new hole in his body, now smack-dab in the center of his palm, as it too began to bleed. Numbly, he clutched his hand to his chest and squeezed it with his other hand, trying to stave off the pain which was now starting to approach in waves.

"I told you not to do it," the voice chastised.

Near delirious from the paralyzing agony, Danton yelled as his body began to spasm. "_What do you want from me?!_"

"You _know_ what I want."

That was only half-correct, as Danton's brain was too addled from his wounds to think clearly. "L-Look," he protested, "I…I have no idea what you w-want, okay? Is…is it money? Drugs? Wh-What is it?!"

"It's simple," the voice growled dangerously. "You have information. I want it."

Danton laughed in disbelief, perhaps brought on by his injuries. "You're going to have to be more specific than that," he gritted. "Maybe…maybe you and I can work something out-"

The _ca-CHUNK_ of an assault rifle's thermal clip being ejected was so loud it was almost like it was done right next to Danton's face. "If you keep on stalling, Danton," the voice warned, "I'm going to put a round in your _other_ leg."

"_Okay, okay!_" Danton screamed, now using his good hand to grasp his leg which was starting to penetrate the haze of adrenaline as it throbbed angrily. He didn't even want to know how this person knew his name. "Just give me some help here! _What do you fucking want to know?!_"

"What do I want to know?" the voice repeated in amusement. "It should be obvious. I want to find someone, but to do that, I need to know what you know."

"_Who_?" Danton gasped, now worried at the spreading pool of blood his leg was creating. "Who do you want to find? I...I could help you with that, maybe? Just give me a name and I'll see if I know how to find him! C'mon, who do want to find?"

"I doubt that a delinquent like you would have such knowledge. But, we'll see if your memory can be jogged. The person I want to find is-"

Danton's breath was now coming in miniature gasps as the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. The name...the voice...it was all starting to make sense now. _But...it's impossible..._ Mouth dry, he scrambled to find words. "It…" he whispered, "it cannot be. You…you can't seriously believe that he's still around! You have to know that he's dead! The man's been dead for a year now!"

"No, he is not dead. On the contrary, he is very much _alive_. But such things are beyond your concern. Allow me to further highlight the severity of your situation so that you know how serious I am."

With a crunching noise, Danton's gaze flickered to the left and his eyes widened as he saw his aggressor walk from around the fountain, cradling an Avenger rifle in their grip. This person was smaller than Danton, but they managed to blot out the morning sun as they stood in front of the injured human, which made them seem like a skyscraper, and Danton a tiny ant. They wore an ornate suit, one saddled with a collection of belts and clasps. Frayed fabric wrapped around a body suit that almost looked like rubber. A long gray cloak was thrown over this person's head, draping down across their right shoulder. Danton could not see this person's face, for it was obscured by a purple visor, showing only an illuminated pair of glowing white eyes.

"You…" Danton gasped. "_You're_…"

"I _know_ who I am," Tali'Zorah replied evenly as she lifted the rifle so that the long barrel was aimed precisely at the human's head. The quarian held the weapon without so much as trembling, perfectly handling the weight as her frightened prey squirmed underneath her gaze. "And now you're going to help me with something I currently do _not_ know."

"W-W-What?" Danton muttered meekly.

Tali took a step forward and pressed the barrel of the weapon against the whimpering man's forehead. "_You're going to help me find John Shepard._"

* * *

_**A/N: Well, I'm thinking that I'm back.**_

_**...Sort of. I got the idea for this story and the sheer idea impacted me so profoundly that I had to at least write the beginning of it down. Unfortunately, I will have no choice but to leave the story at that for the moment. As I am currently in the middle of another story for another section of this site, I do confess that it would really play havoc on me if I tried to produce two stories at once. I'm not much of a multitasker. So, I'm only uploading this first chapter at the moment and since I haven't even outlined anything else for this narrative, I will have to come back to it later.**_

_**Think of this as more of a concept chapter, if you will, as I will be able to get a good analysis of initial expectations from this first offering. Now that this part has been published, I will have some incentive to come back to this story sometime in the future, after I have finished a few projects that I have on the sideline. Now, fair warning, there's no telling for how long that will take. It might take a month or few, but I do fully expect myself to come back to this later when I have the time. Besides, the very idea of the direction this story will go excites me tremendously. Trust me, there is plenty of motivation for me to return to this and finish it up.**_

_**For now, you have your leverage over me. Tell me what you think of it!**_


	2. Chapter 1: In Memorium

_A flicker…a twitch…the barest hint of stimulation. Something was very wrong._

_What happened?_

_Her lungs burned, she felt faint, and there was a warm liquid trickling down into her eye. She felt battered, bruised, like her body had been pummeled for half an hour straight. Her sense of orientation had completely vanished, judging by the sensation of her spinning head, and she could not tell if the stars that now spotted her vision were the actual balls of gas millions of miles away from her in the night sky of this world, or brought on by a blow to the back of her head._

_The entire right side of her body felt numb, which was rather alarming but, strangely, her reaction was one of acceptance and not panic. There was no searing pain, but rather a dull ache that slowly wrapped around her bones, constricting them uncomfortably._

_She tried to breathe out, but all that came was a ragged cough, making her throat flare. There was the sour taste of blood on her tongue and she shut her eyes reflexively, the harsh sting of tears springing forth on command. She groaned, the only noise she was able to utter through her disorientated state. Slowly, she tried to concentrate her mind and piece everything back together in the order that everything had transpired. Easier said than done, her train of thought was garbled and comprised of nothing but ragged flashes of memory, wisps of encounters floating aimlessly in the sea of her consciousness. Pictures came easily enough, but the words to describe them did not._

_Someone was shouting in her ear, she now realized, and she winced. The voice, although familiar, was so loud that she could not stop jolting every time a syllable impacted on her burst eardrum. A pit of calm welled up at that realization. So, that was the cause of why her ears felt so damp._

_A firm hand gripped at her arm and she found herself propped upright as an outside force directed her body. She did not know how long she had been lying on the ground at that point and she could not form the words to ask, helpless to the sensation of an armored figure throwing her arm over a pair of broad shoulders and steadily getting her on her feet._

_She slumped against the person, her legs pathetically dragging behind her body. About to cry out in pain, she stopped the thought when another person took a hold of her other arm and proceeded to share her deadweight between her other evacuator. Everything in her body felt like it was pooling downwards and the blood, sweat, and tears that had accumulated on her face was now mixing into a turgid cocktail that left a bitter taste in her mouth. She spluttered and hung her head, delegated to watch the cracked and dusty ground slowly pass beneath her._

_The ringing in her ears still continued its annoying crescendo and she tilted her head ever so slightly to the point where her neck was beginning to twinge. She saw that a few tendrils of flames had been licking out from where she had previously lain only minutes before, brought on by the crumpled wreckage of a Mako tank nearby. A crazy thought of her somehow being ejected from the tank popped into her head and resided there as she tried to make sense of her injuries. It would certainly explain why her body was so damaged at the moment._

_Beyond the shattered remains of the transport, a harsh blue light pierced her eyes and she looked away, despite her visor naturally filtering out the light impacting on her face. Something about that light was familiar, though. A beam…a destination… Was that where she had been trying to go?_

_Looking down again, she was confused as to why the barren dirt ended so abruptly, instead finding a metal grating passing underneath her feet. Her toes scraped over the uneven surface and she coughed again, causing a splotch of blood the splatter against the interior of her visor. Suddenly, the supporting force on her right side departed, leaving the person on her left to hold her up alone. A hand wrapped itself around her waist to make sure that she did not fall to the floor and crack her head, and she desperately tried to focus her eyes to see what was going on._

_Feeling like she would break her neck from having to tilt it upward so much, all of the discomfort currently imparted on her vanished into the background as she saw the familiar outline of an N7- armored figure depart down the ramp of what she now realized was the Normandy. The person was hurrying back into the night, into a dying world filled with explosions in the sky and the roar of machine gods. At that moment, she didn't wonder why the ship she had taken her name after was here to begin with, her personal health was no longer an issue, and on the contrary, a tingle in her legs signified that there was enough strength within her to stand._

_Sucking up all of the filtered air in her visor, she screamed out the name of the soldier that looked to be abandoning her, wanting to see them once more. Immediately the figure turned and headed back to her, holding out a hand that gently cupped the bottom of her helmet. She closed her eyes and shot her free arm out, mimicking the movement as her gloved, three-fingered hand, caressed the cheek of the human standing across from her._

"_John…" she begged, still having difficulty hearing herself through the harsh ringing in her ears. "Don't go. Don't leave me behind."_

_The look on Commander John Shepard's face was nearly enough to crumble her to pieces, emotionally. The human's eyes were full of sadness, humbled by the amount of pain they still managed to hide. A gash on his scalp wept blood, giving him a bedraggled look but his wounds did not seem to bother him much. It was the internal conflict within that was destroying him so and in that moment, Shepard no longer looked the part of the hero the extranet always made him out to be. _

"_Tali," he responded, his mind already torturing him for what he was going to say next. "Please don't argue with me. I have to go."_

"_No…" she moaned as she struggled in the grip of whom she assumed to be Garrus. She was too weak to break the hold, though and her feeble thrashes got her nowhere close to her love. "Wait, John..."_

"_Tali, if I don't do this, then everyone will die."_

"_And if you go, _you_ will die," she protested, struggling to interpret the movement of Shepard's lips with the proper phonetics. "Please…"_

_Shepard then gingerly held Tali's head in his hands before he placed a loving kiss on the top of her helmet. She could not feel the gesture, as always, but she keened as she knew that it was only veiling the answer she did not want to hear._

"_I'm doing this all for you, Tali," he whispered, his voice deathly quiet yet she was somehow able to hear it over the shrieking wind. "I made you a promise of a better life, a new home. How can I give you that if I run now?"_

"_None of that matters anymore," she moaned. "I have a home _now_. It's _you_, John. All I want is you."_

_Shepard smiled sadly as he gently squeezed Tali's hand. "And this is the only way we will have a home together for the rest of our lives. I keep my promises. I love you, Tali, and I will return for you."_

"_I love you," Tali gasped as Shepard pulled away, their fingers slowly slipping out of each other's grip. "I made you a promise too. Come back to me."_

"_I will," he replied with all of the dedication he could possibly relay. With a final glance of regret, Shepard turned and ran down the ramp, onto the crumbling soil, and towards the beam half a kilometer away, towering so tall and beaming so brightly that it split the sky in two._

_And from the ramp, Tali could only watch as Shepard dwindled to a speck as the Normandy began to lift off. Her hand, still outstretched, grasped at the tiny figurine as she continued to scream, almost throwing herself off the edge of the ship in her anguish, not willing to let the sight of the human disappear from her view._

"_John! JOHN!"_

* * *

"Tali? Tali'Zorah?"

Something flashed across her eyes and she instinctively blinked. In seconds her slumping posture perked up, her back straightening, and she quickly swiveled her head to face a gray visor, one that looked just like her own. She frowned in annoyance as she was shaken from her thoughts and inhaled a large amount of air through her nostrils to gain back what oxygen she had lost while she had been daydreaming.

"What? What is it?" she said with a hint of contempt, trying to focus back on her memory, no matter how upsetting it was.

The quarian medic huffed softly. "You zoned out again."

"Sorry," Tali said gruffly as she shifted her weight so that she could be slightly comfortable on the bench. The med bay of the _Rayya_ left a lot to be desired compared to the one on the _Normandy_. Whereas she would have access to comfortable benches in a sterile environment while being looked after by one of the kindest humans she had ever met, she now had to contend with a ramshackle of a glorified closet while a cantankerous medic fumbled sloppily around with several different forms of medicine and health. Despite the need for quarians to remain healthy at all times, good medical care was very hard to come by as most citizens either were soldiers enlisted in the navy or tech scientists. But, now that Rannoch was back under the control of its rightful owners, perhaps other careers would begin to branch out a little more from the confined paths the flotilla had kept under lock and key. Farming, for example, was now a job opportunity that was highly in demand. With so much more room for real estate, it was imperative that crops be grown to supply the inevitable increase in population. That did not mean that the usual rut of quarian society would be overturned in the blink of an eye. Such changes needed a sufficient amount of time to adapt to.

As it was, Tali was stuck having to withstand a mandated physical brought on by an undertrained and glorified research assistant. She was considering pulling the file on the medic as it was her prerogative as an admiral to do such a thing. Rank certainly came with its benefits from time to time.

The medic tapped on a datapad before shaking her head in frustration. "The report here says that you've been suffering from insomnia lately, and some of your peers have described you as distracted as of late. Have you been aware of this, Tali?" The medic used the first name of her patient instead of the title that other quarians usually referred to her by. Tali did not mind this so much as she understood it was only a tactic to develop some semblance of a bond between a doctor and their patient, but other quarians would feel insulted if they were addressed in such a way. The medic had to tread lightly here.

But there were words being projected onto her that did not register all at once. _Distracted? Insomnia?_ Tali ground her teeth silently. What the hell was this, exactly? It had to have been Raan who gave the medic such a report, for there could be no one else on this flotilla that paid attention to her in such a close manner. Who else would have ordered a physical for her? "This is a waste of time," Tali sighed after a moment, fidgeting on the bench. "I don't know why someone would say that I've been behaving oddly lately."

"Perhaps you just haven't noticed the potential disruptive behavior that might have permeated you in recent months," the medic said in a condescending manner that irked Tali greatly. "It's perfectly normal for someone not to notice or outright shut out any behavior that they perceive as unusual. As long as said behavior is a gradual change and not abrupt. Have you experienced anything abnormal in the last few months? Night terrors, any of the like?"

"No. Nothing like that. I would tell you otherwise."

"Do you know where we are headed?"

"The Citadel. These don't sound like questions pertaining to insomnia to me."

"Are you aware of the date, Tali?" the medic continued, ignoring Tali's additional statement.

"Oh, come on," Tali sighed. "Is this really necessary?"

"Just answer the question, please."

"2188," she rattled off without hesitation. "About six months after the end of the war, if you want me to prove that my memory hasn't gone fuzzy."

"I just need to make sure," the medic defended before she brought out a tool that looked somewhat like a mallet. Without warning, she sharply whacked the rubber end of the mallet down on Tali's knee, producing a jerking reaction that translated into a fierce kick.

"Hey!" Tali yelped.

"Reflexes seem normal," the medic droned as she added yet another tick onto her datapad. "The reason why I'm asking these questions is that your peers seem to have noticed that your odd behavior has cropped up within that six-month timeframe. You may not realize it, Tali, but you have people who worry about you."

"I wonder why that is," Tali said sarcastically. "You a psychologist as well as a medic?"

"I can certainly refer you to one, if that is what you wish-"

"Absolutely not," Tali snapped hastily. "I don't need a stranger poking through my brain in order to give me a diagnosis that I'm already aware of. That's the last thing I need at this point. I'll sit through the rest of _this_ session without protest, if you wish, but I refuse to go to a shrink. That's my final decision."

The medic gave Tali a long look before she set her datapad down on a scuffed and heavily used metal desk. "Tali," she said as she drew herself up taller. "The reason I want to stress you seeing a professional in this matter is because the nature of the extreme trials that you have endured have potentially translated into an actual sickness. I only want what's best for my patients."

"You and everyone else," Tali grumbled, an edge creeping up on her voice. "What could _you_ know of the trials I've endured?"

"Tali, your struggles are not exactly a secret among the flotilla regarding your relationship between you and the human commander. I know that the loss of a loved one is hard, especially for someone who has formed such a strong bond with the other, but it is my duty to let you know that treatment for that loss is not a sign of weakness. It can help you move on with your life and perhaps stop you from being distracted all the time."

"I don't want to hear any more of this," Tali growled as she hopped off the bench. "I don't know who got the idea that I'm distracted but it certainly was a rumor made in error. I've just been working too hard and not getting enough sleep, that's all."

"_We will be docking at the Citadel in one hour_," the intercom suddenly blared through the tinny overhead speakers. "_All personnel report to your stations in ten minutes time._"

"I have to go anyway, so I think we're done here," Tali announced after she looked down from the stained intercom cover. "Are there any more tests you would have me suffer through or do I have your leave to depart?"

The medic crossed her arms, obviously torn at what to do. It was not hard to determine that she was weighing the options of keeping Tali here some more so that she could impart more medical advice that would fall on deaf ears or just let her patient go without a further word of protest. Before Tali could wheel about and exit, the medic took the middle road.

"Wait, Tali. Before you go, at least let me give you a prescription to help you sleep better."

"I told you," Tali huffed, "I'm _fine_. I don't need something to help me sleep."

"I'm not authorized to release you from my care until I'm sure that I have provided you with an alternative to help combat any potential problems you may have."

Tali bit her lip in order to prevent her from flying into a rage at the poor medic. She could simply use her position as an admiral to give her justification to leave without any action of resistance against her, thus freeing her from this damnable room. Of course, an admiral dismissing themselves from a mandated physical would look very suspect, like she was trying to hide something. Quarians could not afford to keep any medical secrets between them and the public record combined with the duty of all medics to report suspicious behavior would place her under heavy watch immediately. Stuck with the mental disposition to obey the rules set in place, Tali stood silently and swiped the offered bottle of whatever medicine the medic handed to her without waiting for an explanation on the required dosage.

"Remember, Tali, seeing a professional could really help-"

"Just give me the damn form so I can get out of here," Tali snapped.

After haphazardly scrawling her acknowledgement at the conclusion of the physical, Tali walked into the dim and rusting hallway of the liveship, the bottle of whatever clenched firmly in her hand. Mentally calling up the location of the bridge she turned to the right and headed for the lifts just a hundred meters down. At the first waste bin she passed, Tali chucked the medicine the medic had given her without so much as a second thought. The bottle made a clanging sound as it impacted with the rim, followed by the hollow ring of its echo.

As she continued in the direction of the bridge, quarians to and fro snapped to attention whenever their paths crossed with hers. "_Admiral_," they would always exclaim and Tali would give each of them a somber nod – the best response she could come up with that did not involve the use of her voice. It always came to a point that after a set number of acknowledgements during any journey throughout the ship, Tali would begin to ignore the addresses given in her direction, making her seem a little cold and distant, but anyone would quickly grow tired of all the attention imparted upon them in such a manner. People had their limits of how much interaction they could withstand in a set period of time.

Tali marched through the next set of double doors and strode past the captain – whom she resumed her respective nodding for – and headed for the viewport of the _Rayya_. The ghostly tendrils of FTL or the electric blue streaks of a relay jump were nowhere in sight, giving way to a shimmering glow emanating from a blue orb a couple hundreds of thousands of miles away. Tali was surprised to see that the liveship had managed to get to the Sol system at such a quick pace and checked her chronometer to confirm the appropriate time passage. Finding everything to be in order, she looked back out through the viewport, imperceptibly glancing at the barren rock of a moon as they passed it by, before she fixated her attention on the object in orbit between the moon and the planet beyond. At their rate of travel, they would be docking within mere minutes at the superstructure that, since half a year ago, had now been placed into orbit above the marble-like sphere that was the birthplace of humankind, the world of her lover.

It was a much more colorful world than Rannoch, Tali had to admit. Whereas Rannoch was a soft combination of yellow and purple hues from the large amounts of ozone in the atmosphere, Earth gave way to brilliant blue seas, lush green forest, and spectacular snowcapped mountains that crisscrossed the planet's surface like scars. Any air pollution in those skies had been sapped clean from the past century of using alternative energy sources, which made the planet look all the more stunning. It was certainly a better change of venue than the Citadel's last place of residence, the Serpent Nebula. At least this way there would be a clearer line of sight for the capital ships to dock and it was not like anyone had the instruction manual to fire up whatever engines the superstructure had in order to move it back to its original spot in the galaxy. For now, everyone just had to get used to the change, one of millions the entire war had brought on, it seemed.

Smaller quarian envoy vessels were beginning to line up around the Citadel's Arm Two while the _Rayya_ moved to dock at the end. As the lumbering vessel rotated in place to line up the docking ports, Tali could see several other ships from so many walks of life crowd the docks on each one of the Citadel's five arms. Human heavy cruisers, turian battleships, salarian infiltrators, asari capital ships, volus bombers, and even the occasional krogan shuttle. All had gathered on this day, a time of remembrance and mourning. A period of celebration and sadness. A day that Tali wished would never have come.

She did not think that she could stomach the sight of the Citadel again, knowing what had transpired there half a year previously. Her gut tightened into a knot but she folded her hands behind her back and practiced breathing in and out deeply. The sour feeling lessened slightly but there was still a rough patch that ached whenever she breathed, like a hidden wound inside Tali that refused to remain shut for long.

There was a slight shuffling sound next to her and Tali glanced to the side to find that the captain had sidled next to her. "Quite a gathering for the whole reopening commemoration, admiral," he remarked, trying to make small talk.

"Yes…" Tali mused, hoping her words did not sound as strained as they felt. "But I suppose that the Citadel rejuvenation ceremony is quite important in the minds of the galaxy."

"Well, that _was_ where the war ended. The humans like to think that Earth was where the madness ceased but everyone knows that the Citadel was the place where we won everything."

"I can understand their position," Tali defended, feeling more uncomfortable now that the topic had switched towards humans in general. "And I think that they have a point, symbolically. Earth _was_ in the general vicinity of the Citadel so I'd imagine that most humans fail to see a distinction between the technical details."

The captain shrugged. "I guess. It probably isn't in my best interest to judge, anyway. Everyone is each other's ally now. Besides, if it weren't for the humans, we probably would not be alive right now to tell of the tale."

"Yes," Tali whispered as she continued to stare straight ahead. "We would probably be dead."

* * *

The asari councilor stepped up to the platform that rose the highest above the gathered crowd. From her position, she could see the entire length of the Citadel tower and marvel at how tightly it had been packed. Never in her life could she recall such a time when so many aliens huddled together and conversed like a giant family, that they packed together in such a cramped space with little to no protest, that there was no rowdiness of any kind, just a respectful silence.

From her position near the second level by the staircase, Tali could see – via one of the several huge monitors that draped from the ceiling – that the asari's eyes were watering, either from astonishment or some powerful emotion too deep to fully manifest into a tangible form. Tali hated watching people cry, especially during a time like this, and she ducked her head and took several deep breaths to calm herself, already feeling her throat begin to clench tightly. A heated sensation rose but was quickly pushed back where it had come from, the urge to break down having a very sickening feeling to it.

Tali lifted her head back up, sure that the slight movement drew everyone's attention toward her, but all were continuing to look up at the four councilors standing upon the podium. None of the admirals squished next to her, not even Raan, glanced in her direction and she sighed in relief. Their attention was all focused on the asari who was still trying to find the words to speak.

Three of the four assembled councilors were immediately recognizable to Tali. She knew the asari, turian, and salarian councilors based on the hoops and hurdles her crew had faced trying to deal with them. She was not familiar with the human councilor, however, but seeing as the last two humans who had held the position were now dead, this fact was rather obvious to her. The text on the monitors showed his name as "Lahoud," and above it was a dark, older man who sported a magnificent turban atop his head. He stood respectfully to the side as it was clear that his more experienced colleagues had more to say than he did.

Finally, the asari councilor, Tevos, took a swallow and looked down at her note column for a second before she tried to make herself appear regal once again. "It is…not with happiness that we stand before you all today," she began, her voice only cracking slightly but still noticeable through the reverberations that the Council chambers provided, "but with meekness and humility. We do not believe that we are alone with the mindset that any of us expected to be here today. Us, all life, I mean."

Tevos tried to take another breath but a hasty swallow halted her speech and she visibly fumbled. The turian councilor, Sparatus, instantly stepped up to pick up where she had left off, his cool tone exuding confidence and understanding. "By all accounts, the place we're inhabiting now should be empty, devoid of life entirely. We were meant to be the latest victims in a galactic-wide holocaust that existed many times beyond our capacity to fathom. So many were lost from that struggle, but we have endured the storm. We are the survivors, the caretakers of this galaxy."

Sparatus' volume was gradually increasing but he kept it under control so that it did not sound like he was generating a propaganda speech. It was clear that he too was overcome with emotion and that his heightened volume was his way of reminding him to keep some semblance of his urges under control. Proud and tall, he continued. "We are the anomaly, the one chance out of a trillion. Our survival is a gift, a chance to appreciate just how fragile life is, and we have decreed that all should be reminded of this fact by the deeds of one man who sacrificed himself in order to save all of us. A man who should be remembered for all time, his name synonymous with 'victory.' Everyone, we are here to pay our respects and to acknowledge John Shepard's actions today. He will live forevermore in all of us."

Tali was not expecting the sincerity and raw emotion being poured out into the open from the councilors today, least of all them dropping Shepard's name with such reverence. It was only when the image of his face appeared on the towering monitors as part of a preprogrammed slideshow tribute did everything truly go to shambles for her. All it took was one look at that familiar smile, those scruffy cheeks, and those knowing eyes and all of her natural inhibitors suddenly become loosed. Trembling so badly that even Raan microscopically tilted her head over in her direction, Tali's vision quickly blurred as her tears streaked forth like someone had turned on the taps on full. Miraculously, she kept her head held high, but disabled her vocal emitters so that her strangled sobs could only be heard be her alone, trapped within her stuffy helmet. Minute jerks of her body every time she spluttered could not be held back though, but there was naught Tali could do at this point.

_John…oh, John…_

The salarian councilor, Valern, then stepped forward to take over from the turian with a gentle touch at the man's shoulder. Stepping into the center, he yanked at his flowing sleeves anxiously for a second while the remembrance presentation carried on silently. "Each of us standing before you owed this man a debt of gratitude many times over. He showed us the immense potential that is possible for one being to achieve, not just for humans, but for all life in general. It is with no inflation that I state that the actions of one truly selfless person have affected us all. The repercussions of such an event will echo throughout the ages, a direct consequence of what should never have been: our survival."

Now dozens of people in sight and earshot were now severely affected by the presentation, many of them dipping their heads so that they could dab at their eyes. Tali suddenly no longer felt so self-conscious about her feelings at the moment, but took one last sniffle and mentally held the reins on her tears for a bit more, but somehow found the confidence to engage her vocabulator once again.

Standing above the weeping crowd, the salarian gripped the edge of the stand hard. "This day marks the declaration of a new age. We have returned to the Citadel after spending many months trying to get back from the deepness of space. We have found the place that has been our home to be ransacked and decimated from the terrible warfare. But we are still here and that means that we can make everything as it once was. We have the ability to shape our lives the way we want them to be and we must, for this is the gift that Shepard gave to us and we must ensure that it will not be squandered."

Scattered applause had gradually risen throughout the last passage but at the end it had escalated into a full roar. Spectators screamed through their sobs and hundreds clapped their hands together wildly. It was just what everyone needed to hear and the overhead cameras belonging to the myriad news networks zoomed in for a better view. This was history in the making and proper documentation was an absolute must.

Tevos now resumed control of the podium, having regained her composure. "We will never get the chance to give Commander Shepard our esteemed gratitude, but that does not mean that we cannot relay our appreciation in spirit. It has been unanimously decided by the Council, and from representatives from all the collective governments, that to celebrate victory from an eternal enemy, we are unveiling the first round of memorials that are planned in the years to come. As of today, the designation given to this station, the Citadel, will only be a moniker that is half-complete from its full title. Now, we decree that the place which we stand upon today will be henceforth known as the John Shepard Citadel!"

With a flourish, the asari gracefully waved her hand and a fluttering noise drew the attention of the crowd towards a tall object placed in their midst. Flanked by the first tier of staircases, where a grassy ledge had once stood before, a black curtain draped over something large was pulled away, not revealing what was beneath its folds until the last possible moment for dramatic effect. With a collective gasp, the crowd visibly stilled and Tali's mouth opened in astonishment, her heart thudding fiercely in her chest.

A stone the color of sand was now firmly embedded on the riser, shaped so that its surface was still rough but that its lines were too clean for it to have been formed organically. Positioned carefully on top of it, though, was a gigantic statue made out of a yellowish metal. The person immortalized in the alloy stood in a defiant pose, one foot out in front of the other, as if they had begun to ascend the boulder. The armor they wore was an immaculate recreation of the image the public always associated the person with, right down to the little "N7" over where his heart should be. Even the little details, such as the scar on top of his scalp, his slightly tweaked jaw, and even the focused look in his eyes was recreated without fault.

_What would you think of this, John?_ Tali thought as she looked at the impressive sight of the human given metallic form. _Now, you can truly live forever._

A flash from one of the floating cameras exploded from far away, but to Tali it felt like the barrel of a gun had been pointed in her face and that the trigger had been pulled. She threw up a hand to protect herself but the harmless glare had long dissipated owing to her stunted reflexes. Her cheeks felt hot as she slowly lowered her arm back down. Undoubtedly some tabloid's drone had spotted her in the crowd and was now off to make a headline concerning the unveiling of the Shepard memorial with his still-alive lover in attendance at the ceremony. If only it was socially acceptable for her to whip out a firearm and blow the stupid camera drone to pieces, then perhaps she would feel slightly better at the moment. They were parasites, taking advantage of her grief as dictated by their superiors all for the purpose of better sales numbers.

The rest of the ceremony passed by in a blur for Tali. The councilors resumed their spiel about many of the reconstruction programs that were occurring across the galaxy and other related efforts that emphasized going forth into the future together. Tali sincerely made an effort to pay attention to the whole thing but her gaze would inevitably drift to the recreation of Shepard just a few meters off to the side, drowning everything out mentally. She would stare at the statue's eyes for minutes on end, hoping, just hoping that the immovable metal titan would tilt in her direction and maybe give her a mischievous wink, like its living doppelganger would always do. Tali made her stare a silent plead, a call for companionship, but it would go unanswered, unnoticed. Such was her life as of late.

When the rest of the congratulatory back-patting comments were finished, the Council withdrew from the podium and the crowd milled about for a couple minutes while the people closer to the lifts began to disperse in staggered groups. As soon as the throng of people cleared up a bit in front of Tali, she pushed forward instead of backward, abandoning her fellow admirals so that she could have some time by herself. She drew herself closer to the statue, her movements slow and wispy. A small line of people had gathered near the base of the memorial and were poring over something on the sandstone upon which the metal statue was perched. Not ready for any interaction, let alone close proximity to strangers, Tali drew back towards the columns surrounding the service shafts and waited for the last of the citizens to finally disappear, appearing only when she had checked that there was no one (or any drone) within her sight.

Ascending the first row of stairs, Tali's pulse entered a rhythmic tempo, heightened from looking upon the face of a man whom she cared for so deeply that every moment spent thinking about him slowly tore her apart from the inside. To see him like this, standing in his presence once again, was infectious as well as cathartic.

On the side of the rock, Tali held out her gloved hand and rubbed it along the coarse surface, hearing the fibers from her suit crackle as they caught a few of the stone's ridges. Her thumb rubbed across part of an etching that burrowed deep into the rock, the same phrase repeated over and over but inscribed in all of the languages of the known galaxy. Tali recognized the flowing script of Khelish immediately but she let her fingers slowly drift to the top line, which was written in what Shepard called "English," the most common language of his world. Her translator software in her helmet picked up the foreign language and spelled the translated phrase out for her, even going so far as to provide the transliterations – the phonetic sounds of the unfamiliar language.

"'_His fire will illuminate the galaxy for eternity,_'" Tali breathed as she marked her way through the passage with her finger. "_'He will always be remembered.'_"

It was a short but powerful phrase, a trait that Tali knew that Shepard would have appreciated. He never did embellish himself to the point where every word out of his mouth sounded like part of a soliloquy from an oft-quoted human poet. This memorial was fitting for his character as Shepard was always to-the-point when he had been settled in as commander of the _Normandy_.

_Keelah…and we still have not given John a proper funeral!_ Tali realized to her shame as she began to trudge back toward the elevators. She wished she had never come back to this place, for all of these memories were proving to be too much for her to handle. As the doors closed, she began pounding on the walls of the lift so fiercely that the automated guide had to chime in and remind her not to damage public property. Thoroughly miserable now, Tali gave the wall one final punch before the lift stopped and promptly deposited her out into the wards, ready to accept another, albeit less violent, passenger.

Now delegated to wander the level by herself, Tali moped at as she began to wander slowly towards the one place that she knew would give her sufficient space for her to be alone. The time spent walking there was used to ponder the logistics of providing a proper service for her lost love. What could be done in this case? There was no body for her to bury, or even cremate as dictated in Shepard's will (he had already left everything to Tali in a reading a few weeks prior). Of course, the last time a funeral had occurred for the human, there was no body to bury that time and Shepard had made a surprise return from the dead years later. Somehow, Tali did not think that such an event occurring could happen twice. It seemed statistically impossible to even consider such a thing, despite the human's record for achieving the impossible time and again.

Tali also had the knowledge that if Shepard did somehow survive the explosion that had transpired when the Crucible had fired its deadly red energy, then he would have been located around the area of the Citadel itself. Even with the majority of the gigantic fleet dispersed lightyears away thanks to the destruction of the relay system, there were still enough salvage operations going on in the vicinity of Earth that they would have stumbled across Shepard's body if he had been ejected from the station within a matter of days. As it was, all the records indicated that there was nothing left after the ongoing months of repairs to the station. Just dust and ashes.

The shadows from the encased machinery over the access hallway draped over Tali like a protective shroud as she mustered herself through the growing crowd of people assembling outside the Silversun Strip, a popular level that catered to the whimsical alcoholic with its swath of neon signs and promises of riches to be won inside one of the many casinos littering the mall. Now that people had no more fears of being blasted into atoms by a huge mechanical squid, it seemed that they were now headed to this level to gamble, high on life.

Tali seemed to be the only one not in a celebratory mood and she quickly rounded a corner and confirmed that she was in the right apartment block judging by her name lit on the wall plaque – courtesy of Shepard's estate taking care of all the legal details. Tali truthfully had no idea what she was going to do with such a large space in the future. She had lived most of her life in quarters the size of a human closet and that had been good enough for her. The size of Shepard's-no, her—apartment was enough to comfortably house thirty quarians. The bill for the rent would also have been enough to provide for such a number for the rest of their natural lives (which Shepard had already seen to pay off completely for her before his untimely departure).

Reaching the door at the end of the corridor, Tali punched in the combination to the apartment with a limp hand and began to walk into the modestly furnished set of rooms when her progress was suddenly halted by a white-garbed form thrusting itself out at her and encasing her with a set of arms, causing her to make a yip of surprise.

"_Tali!_" Liara exclaimed as she hugged the quarian tightly and nudged the side of her head against the other's helmet. Tali had been spacing out so much when she had entered that she had not so much as flinched when the asari had set herself upon her and was only now beginning to react, slowly like she was drunk.

"L-Liara?" Tali stammered as her own hands cautiously began fumbling around to return her friend's hug before they timidly squeezed back. "Wha…what are you _doing_ here?" It was then that she realized that Liara was not the only person to be sharing the room with her. A sea of familiar faces all turned around from whatever it was they were doing before and gazed at her with warm smiles, but Tali still felt like she was shrinking underneath their scrutiny and desperately wished to crawl under a rock, her cheeks beginning to burn.

Wrex and Grunt were standing over by the fireplace, both raucous krogan unusually silent at the moment, an oddity seeing as general discussions involving at least one of them typically involved shouting or something getting broken from a melee. From the second floor, Kaidan Alenko, James Vega, Steve Cortez, and Samantha Traynor stopped whatever they were talking about and glanced anxiously over the railing at her, anxious faces lined with both worry and pleasant surprise. From the bar area, the lately-morose Joker lifted his head up from the bar where Javik also sat at his side, a few bottles aimlessly scattered on the counter. Jack and Miranda, having engaged in a civil conversation for once, walked into the hallway so that they might see their visitor, the former being dressed much more conservatively. And from the kitchen, congregating around a set of delivered food boxes, Samara, Jacob Taylor, Zaeed Massani, and Kasumi Goto halted in their selection of comestibles, bringing what must have been a well-restrained gathering down to a screeching halt.

Thoughts on shooing everyone in the apartment out the door flashed through Tali's mind. Confusion simmered before giving way to a boiling anger. What was everyone doing in here? This was a place that she had come to be alone and now that very plan had been ruined!

Liara frowned at Tali's stiff movements and placed her hands on the quarian's thin shoulders. "Wait, huh? What do you mean?" she said, confused. "Didn't you get the message? It was sent out over an hour ago. I…I honestly thought you _knew_."

"Message?" Tali repeated. "What message? I didn't get any-…" She looked down at her left arm abruptly and saw that a bright orange-yellow light was pulsating on the back of her hand, a preprogrammed holographic alert. Mystified that she had not noticed this earlier, Tali opened her omni-tool and stared at a full page of invitations sent out over the last hour – mainly requests from Liara to use her apartment as a place to meet up after the ceremony had finished. _I must have been more distracted than I thought._

The asari now had an apologetic look on her face. "I'm so sorry Tali, I thought you would be okay with this. If you want us to leave, just say so and we'll go. We will all understand if you need some time to yourself."

This was it, her chance to rid herself of all of them. Her opportunity to bask in the silence and enjoy the spaciousness of her housing for once. She opened her mouth to say the banishing words before her lips made a move without her conscious accord. "…No, Liara, it's fine. You can stay."

A muddled frown snapped Tali's mouth shut as her mind struggled with what she had just said. Was it the need to remain altruistic in front of her peers that she did not simply dismiss them all outright? It was too late to take anything back now, the words had been spoken. Besides, the warm and relieved look on Liara's face helped melt some of the ice that had been spreading across her chest.

Twisting her fingers together, Tali decided to ask the question that had been plaguing her since she entered. "I'm sorry I didn't reply to you earlier, but how did you manage to get in here anyway? I thought it was very difficult for someone to hack their way into a place like this."

"It typically is," a flanged voice resonated from behind Liara, "but Shepard had previously told me the password a while back. 2161, the year of your birth. Awfully sentimental of that man to be thinking of you all the time."

Despite herself, Tali could not help but smile as Garrus Vakarian stepped into view, a somber look on his face despite his previously light tone. Out of all the people she had dropped out of contact with over the past few months, Garrus was the one person she missed the most (apart from Shepard). This was one of the rare times when she had seen the turian outside of his usual blue-themed armor, as he had chosen to don a simple and respectful suit instead – all dark colors, nothing too garish.

"Well, as long as you didn't break anything," Tali said lightly, beginning to feel more like her old self. "Were all of you present at the ceremony?"

"Yes," Garrus nodded. "We all came out today to witness the whole reopening of the Citadel – I mean, the _John Shepard_ Citadel."

"That's probably why everyone has been able to meet up," Tali said, noting Garrus' correction with a chill running down her spine. "Had I known everyone was there, I would have made an effort to meet with you earlier."

"None of us had any idea you were coming," Liara said sheepishly. "I guess we all assumed that, you know, ever since…" She trailed off, the unsaid words registering anyway with a somber wilt of Tali's head.

"I understand," the quarian sighed. "It's honestly been rough lately and…and I've been struggling to accept a great many things. Perhaps there will be a time when I will be glad I came here, but right now…"

"Right now you don't need to worry," Liara finished anxiously, as the rest of the gatherers began to engage in their private conversations once again. "We're your _friends_, Tali. We're here to help you. If there's anything you need, anything at all, just tell us and we will be there for you."

"Thank you, Liara," Tali said, rising with gratitude. "It means a lot to me, you doing this."

Liara smiled in return, but the embarrassed face returned very quickly. "Now I'm feeling kind of guilty for using the apartment without your permission. You sure you're not mad? Technically, we _did_ break into your place."

"It's…fine," Tali said, still adjusting to having to call the entire apartment hers. For most of her life all she had ever owned could have easily fit into a medium-size duffel bag with room to spare. Sharing an apartment was pretty much the only thing she could do in order to convince herself that she was not simply wasting the extra space. "I'm not mad at all. It would just remain empty otherwise."

Garrus blinked in apprehension but shrugged around it. "As long as it's all right with you. Did you want something to eat?" he gestured towards the kitchen where the food boxes were still steaming. "We couldn't find anything of substance here so Vega and Miranda made a food run, even got some dextro stuff for us to eat too so that we wouldn't starve."

The stuff that Garrus was indicating certainly looked appealing, as evidenced from the tantalizing spirals of steam wafting from the food, but Tali's stomach failed to produce a response that indicated even an iota of hunger. Instead, it still felt like it was shriveling up into a ball, quivering like anything consumed would bloat her gut to its limits. "No, thanks," Tali said politely. "I'm not all that hungry right now."

"Well, if you change your mind, there will be a plate waiting for you."

"I appreciate it, Garrus," Tali said with a nod, "but I think that I'd rather be alone for a while. I…don't wish to offend anyone…it's just…I…"

As she tried to push past Liara and Garrus, the turian gently caught her wrist. "Hey," he whispered to her, "are you okay?"

She slowly turned his head, allowing him to see the trembling in her glowing eyes. "_No_," she breathed back. "I…I just can't stay here."

"All right," he said as he released her arm, quickly understanding. "I'll make sure no one bothers you. We'll also take care to clean up after ourselves. We would be poor guests otherwise."

"Thank you, Garrus," Tali replied gratefully as she hurried towards the stairs on the other side of the apartment. Confused looks from the silent gatherers compounded until they naturally drew towards Garrus' knowing stare. Sympathetic smiles bombarded Tali and she tried to glue her gaze straight ahead, focusing it like a laser. Just because she was the only person who had lost everyone who had ever cared for her did not make it seem that the sympathy was warranted. The excess attention irritated her greatly. Who were they to bestow their pity when none of them had ever suffered a loss as great as hers? Liara may have lost her mother, but she had not been particularly close with her for years. Garrus had lost his squad on Omega, but they had only been teammates, bonded only by duty and not emotion. Jack had been tortured as a child but her life had completely turned itself around and now the woman was happier than ever. The only people that even came close to Tali's particular circumstance were Joker and Cortez. Joker was still in mourning over the loss of EDI, but Cortez seemed to have gotten over the death of his husband by the time she had first met him. Was it really that easy to detach such strong feelings like flipping a switch? Would it be an injustice to forget about Shepard so easily? For that matter, was it even possible for her?

The door to the master bedroom quickly locked itself behind Tali as she surged inside, thankfully responsive to her desire not to lay eyes on anyone for the rest of the evening. Tali kept walking until her shins collided with a hard object, giving her a reason to purposefully collapse on the bed positioned across the way from the bathroom.

Straight away, there was another problem that added to the long list that had accumulated over the day. The bed was just too big for her. Tali spread her limbs out in all directions on the comfortable surface but it still felt like she was slowly sinking into a pit of billowy folds and sheets. Even in her position, she was still unable to reach the edges of the mattress. This was way too much space for one person to handle, how could people live like this? At least with Shepard, all she would have to do was clutch onto him tightly and the fear of falling even further would vanish completely. Now, there was just nothing.

_Oh, Keelah_. She was thinking of John again. But how could she help such a thing when everything she was surrounded with constantly reminded her of him? Even the bed was a cruel indicator of how alone she was as it made her feel like an island trapped within the ocean of the bedspread. That never happened when John was still alive. He would only have to walk in from the living room, give her one of those mischievous winks as he noticed her waiting on the bed impatiently for him, waste no time in jumping onto the springing surface and hold her so tightly that she could experience his intense love for her through his physical actions – giving her intense feelings that remained untapped for so long that to have them all released at once felt painful at first before they simmered into a relaxing and mellow wave. Only then would she feel safe and comfortable despite the vastness of the bed.

All that came to Tali now were the agonizing cramps in her gut, brought on not by the hunger for food, but by the hunger for affection. All she wanted was a comforting presence in her life, someone to pour her heart out to, but time and again fate proved itself to be cruel to her. Her family was gone, her lover was dead, what else could be taken away from her? What more could she have to give before everything would begin to work out for her?

Desperately searching for anything in the depths of her mind to draw out the hurt supplanted there, memories of beautiful notes came to the forefront after some difficulty locating them. Words, kind and sweet, echoed with the voices of her childhood and brought stillness to the ripples in her head. A notion to give her own voice to the words came and went quickly, her throat unwilling to allow her breath passage. Tears welled up again as her cracked and strained speech refused to manifest itself, preventing her from reciting the hymns she had known her whole life. The roots planted themselves deep, unable to be ripped up by brute force. Sorrowful, Tali tried to at least hum the melodies, only proceeding as far as the first verse before a sob interrupted her, leaving her coughing, blubbering, and bunching the sheets hard in her fists while she burrowed her head into the nearest pillow and cried.

The hours slipped by to leave Tali curled on the bed in a fetal position, occupying only a tiny corner of the surface as she drew herself ever closer. Eventually, her eyes would dry and the aches would subside, but it merely left her feeling hollow inside, lethargic and limp. Deep down, just before she finally drifted off into a restless sleep, Tali reasoned that she couldn't keep acting like this forever, that there had to be a way for her to act normal again.

Before her eyes fluttered shut, Tali sleepily flicked her fingers at her omni-tool and set up an appointment with the most qualified psychologist the flotilla had to offer. This felt wrong to her on many levels, but her misgivings had to be thrown aside for now. She did not want to forget, but maybe she could learn to accept all that had occurred. Besides, John would never have wanted her to waste away with grief. If this was for the benefit of his memory, then anything had to be considered at this point.

With a final exhale of breath, Tali fell asleep, offering a temporary respite from the stressful day.

* * *

**A/N: Kept you waiting, huh?**

**I know, I know, this may have been the longest gap I've ever undertaken since I last updated a story (2 months, at that) and that it was all the more egregious that I only posted a prologue before seemingly "giving up" on this story. There's a very good reason for why that was, as I was in the middle of writing another story at the time...and it was also compounded that in the last couple weeks I literally had to pack up everything that I owned and moved across this freaking huge country to the other damn side (hello, California!), so I had a lot on my plate at the time. I also did not have a completed outline of where I wanted to take the story at the time of posting the prologue, so that was another few days spent agonizing and outlining exactly what I thought worked or did not work for the story I wanted to tell, eventually resulting in 6 pages of unsightly walls of text in the end. I wanted to take my time with the story of this one and not make the same mistakes that I did the last time I wrote for this section.**

**That's not to say that I will be reverting to my usual schedule of posting every three or four days, like a workaholic maniac. On the contrary, despite it being break for most of you dames and gents, my personal life has only gotten busier than ever. So, what I intend to do is revert to a strictly weekly posting schedule, that way I should have enough time to write the chapters despite my cramped schedule and maybe incur a greater amount of publicity for as long as I'm keeping this under development. Each Saturday, I hope to bring another chapter of Irreparable to all of you, so that I can finally get back on track with the whole writing business and what not.**

**So, a quick introduction to the story itself. Before anyone asks, the prologue was written _in medias res_ which means that the main story will catch up to that scene in due time. I have also updated the prologue slightly by adding a few more paragraphs and revising certain lines of speech so that they fit with the now completed outline I have, so you should take another look if you're interested.**

**Funnily enough, despite my love of the character, this will be the first time that I've ever written a story with Tali as the lead. With that being said, I will be taking a few creative liberties to bring to you readers a side of Tali that I have not seen portrayed by many writers thus far. Based on what I have written in my outline, this will certainly be one of the darkest stories that I've ever written (I know I say that a lot, but I'm trying my best to be realistic), perhaps even rivaling An Interval of Calamity, if that can be believed. **

**All hype aside, it is my intention to bring to you nineteen chapters of the most serious drama that I can muster that focuses on how a beloved character deals with an intensely personal loss. It may get angsty in some areas, but I intend for the character progression to flow naturally instead of wallowing like filler. Anything else I can say on the subject would just be spoilers, so I'm just going to leave it at that for now. I've had concepts for this story floating around in my head for a long time (before most of my stories) and only now do I feel confident to put those words to the page. In a way, this is very much a pet project for me. Hopefully I'll have another chapter next Saturday (operating on Pacific time now, so apologizes to the Aussies and Kiwis who could be facing the better part of Sunday) so that I can continue the tone that this one established.**

**Tell me what you think of the story so far (you have no idea how much I like to see reviews) and I'll try my damnedest to write a narrative that hopefully manages to engage you to the very end. I'm glad to be back.**

**-Rob Sears  
**


	3. Chapter 2: Shantytown

Six months later

She was going to go mad one of these days. If this sort of day-in-day-out, long-winded, pompous, misconstrued eloquence continued from the same two individuals every time they met in this damn room, she was most certainly going to snap.

If Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay thought that spending an entire year on Rannoch would have provided a more agreeable atmosphere for her colleagues, then it was lucky of her that she detested betting to begin with. The weeks since their planetfall had turned into months and the months eventually flew by as well, but the same issues persisted and no one seemed to be any happier, despite their huge gains. All of the plans that had been accomplished in that time, the steps for the recolonization of their homeworld, comprised a list that was pathetically short. Raan surmised that the progress made since the end of the war barely topped five percent of their initially stated goals. The others knew this as well, but getting them to agree on an area of focus was an entirely different matter as each one carried their own agenda, placing emphasis on topics that were considered unsuitable by the other members of the Conclave. This infighting and useless lobbying had resulted in nothing but a constant standstill amongst the military body, not a good sign seeing as how the welfare of their people depended on their ability to make decisions and right now the lack of them was beginning to reflect amongst the populace.

The room the five admirals sat in was among the better furnished in the quarian colony. The reasoning for that was because that the Conclave had chosen to utilize a small shuttle for their day to day needs and the large hold (by quarian standards) meant for shuttling troops was the perfect size to position a table and some chairs. The interior was sparse, metallic, and very dim, but the visors on each quarian's enviro-suits coupled with their natural ability for seeing in the dark helped shrug off the problem of inferior lighting. Besides, implementation of light sources consumed power, something of which was in short supply these days.

The admiral on Raan's left, adorned in a sand-colored suit, sat squabbling with his usual maroon-suited combatant as the Conclave sat around the round meeting table. Admirals Han'Gerrel and Zaal'Koris were usually bitter rivals throughout each debate, which was only natural considering the separate divisions of the flotilla they headed. Gerrel commanded the main war fleet, the Heavy Fleet, while Koris looked after the Civilian Fleet. It made sense that the civilians and military would despise each other as it was very rare, for any species, for their goals to align with the other, and now Gerrel and Koris had embarked on one of their usual rants about the management of the main quarian settlement, this time discussing how to ration the limited power throughout the colony.

"It is absolutely a necessity, Admiral Gerrel!" Koris was proclaiming passionately. "We can afford diverting critical power away from the Heavy Fleet in order to supply our people with enough resources! Where else are we going to obtain viable power sources from?"

"I don't know, Admiral Koris," Gerrel replied in exasperation, "but I'll be damned if I have to loan you a single light cruiser! We've donated enough ships as it is and now you're saying that you need to gut _more_ of them for their power cores?"

"It's either that, or we ship people back onto the flotilla. At our current usage rate, it'll take a long time before we manage to develop suitable machinery that is capable of drawing out the kind of natural fuel we need to keep our little exodus functioning. We're stuck otherwise unless you change your mind and make the decision unanimous."

Raan nervously tapped her fingers on the edge of the desk. There were so many troubles ongoing right now that she felt foolish at the fact that she had not managed to have the foresight for predicting them. At the very least, it should have been obvious that moving an entire species onto a planet, even though that planet had been their home long ago, was going to create a ton of problems. Perhaps she and everyone else had been too naïve when they had journeyed back here, finding the planet empty and all for the taking after being embroiled in battle. They had thought it would only be a simple adjustment to come back from three centuries adrift in space. How wrong they were.

The problem with colonizing an entirely new planet is the fact that no one can simply decide which land is theirs and move into it, which would inevitably create conflict over land usage rights if left unchecked. Proper documentation has to be kept before any sort of allocation can be doled out, which is not the quickest duty to perform, especially not for a government strained to their limits. Because the majority of quarians did not technically own any land at the current moment, they were required to be restricted to just one city on the largest continent, where all of the people underneath the Conclave's rule can wait until their share of land can be given to them. This was so they could remain in close proximity to the necessary offices and also to control the populace from going out and claiming their share of land anyway, without the zoning board approving anything.

This had been merely the start of the myriad issues for the quarians. As more and more ferried down into the hastily constructed capital city, named E'ryda out of respect for the old capital, the problems compounded further and further. For starters, no one among any of the quarians really knew the proper basics of construction, at least not with the natural materials provided like mud, grass, and rocks as they had no opportunities on the flotilla to work with such items. The ones most qualified and most knowledgeable in architecture had been formed into a group that built temporary homes for the new tenants in grid-like neighborhoods, but unfortunately these homes were made out of less durable materials than what the natural environment provided. As such, each house was basically a shack cobbled together from spare spaceship parts or parts cannibalized from nearby geth bases, held together with crude welding jobs that fused disjointed pieces together, or in some severe cases, rope was used as a binding agent.

The result of a typical laborer's work was a shoddy looking establishment that comprised barely four square meters of space that quickly became a familiar sight throughout the lanes of E'ryda. Living space in these shacks was cramped, per the quarian norm, but the consolation was that everyone had a roof over their head and at least most of the sheds did not blow down from the slightest gust of wind. Most of them.

The shacks themselves were drafty, so the inhabitants had to come up with their own ways of insulation. Cloth draped over the sides of shelters was a popular fix, but it did not offer much protection from rain showers. The roofs were just corrugated metal haphazardly placed on top of the entire foundation, so they were prone to leaks. The government could not spare their laborers to fix every single miniscule problem with their quick and cheap construction, so the quarians had to get creative on how to make their ramshackle houses more durable.

Of course, the sad state of the housing had never intended to be a long term problem. The shacks were only meant to temporarily house the new tenants of Rannoch while their civilian government worked out the details of land allocation. But, when all of the government branches were saddled with other troubles that were more pressing than housing, it meant that a huge majority of the citizens living in relative squalor were going to have to wait there for a long while, thus the initial blocks grew into large neighborhoods, and those neighborhoods grew into huge camps. There were now no less than ten enormous civilian camps situated around E'ryda, all comprising over a hundred thousand quarians.

A big issue currently on the forefront of everyone's mind, especially in these terrible living conditions, was food. Normally, edible products on the flotilla were grown on the three liveships and then they were distributed fairly amongst the thousands of ships that made up the quarian fleet. However, one of the liveships had been severely damaged during the Battle for Earth, caused by a Reaper beam that had seared through and breached the chamber where viable crops were stored. The blow had caused the plants to rapidly become infected and die, which in turn had crippled the liveship's ability to produce food entirely. This was a problem in several ways because the liveships were notoriously hard to repair, even for quarians, and the loss of even one liveship's food capabilities had the implication that many quarians would go hungry as a result of decreased food stores.

However, quarians familiar with agriculture quickly addressed the outcry of the public with good news. Crops had been grown on Rannoch for centuries and their ancestors long before had been farmers to entire fields of crops. There was an entire planet down there that held the capability to feed every single quarian ten times over! Once farmers could be properly settled in on the surface, then the food shortage would soon cease and the quarians could move onto other tasks at hand.

It sounded like a good plan from the beginning, but there was a small hitch that would also have benefited from foresight as well. The quarians who worked on the liveships, despite knowing how to cultivate plants in a controlled environment, had no idea of the basic principles of farming on an actual planet. Worse yet, they had severely overestimated their abilities so much in the beginning that they realized that there were no tools or machinery to effectively collect any crops grown. The agriculturalists, despite having fields of fertile land, could only manage a tiny fraction of that amount by themselves. They knew how to seed a plot of land at least, but effectively managing it after that became a comedy of errors. Still not used to operating outside of a clean environment, the quarians had no idea that the effects of irrigation were drastically different on Rannoch as the fertile soil meant that the plants could be watered less regularly, but the fact that there were less synthetic nutrients meant that the crops could not be grown in such close proximity to the other. Thus, the first experimental trials of crops failed disastrously and it was only in recent weeks did farmers start reporting results that implied some progression.

As the farmers began to acquire more and more tools that made crop collection easier, yet another problem decided to rear its ugly head: fuel. Ordinarily, this would not have been a problem for any other species, but the quarians typically were very miserly when it came to the division of raw fuel. The machines that the farmers needed for the fields as well as all of the generators back at E'ryda that provided the most basic amenities ran on element zero, the rare material that releases dark energy when subjected to an electric current. Element zero was hard to come by on its own and it was not like the quarians kept a stockpile of the stuff, owing to the need to conserve space on the flotilla with the trust that their current stores were enough to keep all of their ships running. This meant that in order to scrounge up fuel, the quarians had to basically gut one of their own ships so that they could rig the element zero drive core up to an item of importance (a fate that had befallen most of Koris' ships already).

This necessitated the need to procure other sources of fuel from the area as element zero was now being kept under heavy lock and key from the other races, as many of their supplies had been spent whilst fighting in the war. The humans were the only ones to even donate a portion of element zero, despite it being a miniscule offering, but it was gladly accepted by the quarians anyway. Some research into alternative fuel sources gave the quarians ideas on how to proceed, discovering that natural oil and gas were somewhat decent options to consider powering their equipment in the meantime. Coincidentally, several fresh wells of oil were located not far from the capital and work was already being done on making a crude combustible engine in order to burn the fuel.

This only showed yet again that the quarians were simply not prepared for recolonizing their homeworld just yet. While oil samples could be scraped up from the surface, it was merely the whole farming problem all over again as none of the quarians knew how to make a proper well. In essence, they had a sea's worth of natural resources underneath their feet, but had no tools to properly extract it, much less refine it. It was the same situation for natural gas, and to a lesser extent, nuclear power. It was easy to pinpoint sources of radiation from the air, but as before, there was no way the quarians could extract radioactive material without getting deathly sick, let alone mine it.

And these were only the problems on the forefront of Raan's mind at the moment. There was still the issue of the sanitation to be taken care of, the faulty extranet connection, and the increasing crime statistics, among others. Sometimes Raan felt that it was only a matter time before she was finally driven insane by the sheer amount of troubles left on her plate. The constant infighting between the two usual members of the Conclave was not really doing her any favors either.

"Admirals, please!" Raan called, even causing the usually detached Daro'Xen to look up from her personal projects at the far end of the table. Raan looked at Gerrel specifically. "Han, I can understand your position that the Heavy Fleet requires the use of its ships, but-"

"-But the divestment of warships is not a choice that should be taken lightly, Raan!" Gerrel defended. "These are valuable resources that we might need in the future. If we strip the drive cores from a perfectly functional warship, we essentially scrap the rest of the ship permanently."

"I know, Gerrel, but what other choice do we have? There is still a demand for housing in the capital, our current resources are spent, and the Patrol and Civilian Fleets have already exhausted the majority of their ships to support the infrastructure. We have no choice if we are going to survive. We must use the Heavy Fleet."

"And what happens when a hostile force skirts our borders, Raan? What happens when we find ourselves defenseless in the wake of an enemy? I suppose you'd just want to invite them over and promise them a share of the land, _Koris_…"

"Just what force are you thinking of that would require the full force of our military fleets anyway, Gerrel?" Koris shot back. "In case you haven't noticed, the Reapers were the last force to oppose us and they have all been defeated. The geth have been permanently deactivated, the other races are now our allies, whom do we have left in this galaxy to fear?"

"I just feel that I should point out that if such an eventuality occurs-"

"Gerrel," Xen finally sighed, her distaste practically oozing from the seams of her enviro-suit, "stop being a blubbering twit and accept reality. There is no other place from which we can procure a sufficient amount of eezo. We can't very well crawl to the humans, turians, or any other race and practically beg for them to give us some eezo out of the kindness of their hearts. What will _that_ do to our image? We finally get our homeworld and we're still begging for scraps? That will only reinforce the negative stigma that we've only just begun to shed. So Gerrel, please, stop this preposterous stalling and agree to this plan. We've got lots more to discuss in any case so I would prefer if we could finish up this first item before moving on."

Raan nodded at Xen in appreciation. It was hard to get along with the standoffish admiral, as she tended to be very cold and rigid, but having her as an ally usually struck the killing blow in any debate. However, Xen was not the person that required her attention at this exact moment. Turning to her right, Raan eyed the last admiral that sat beside her that had yet to speak today. Worryingly, she blinked as this last member did not even seem to be paying attention at all. Their head was tilted noticeably down and their fingers were slowly toying with the other, like their hands were the subject of some newfound fascination.

"Tali?" Raan asked warmly. "Do you have anything to add?"

"Hm?" Tali mumbled as her head shot up. Now realizing that the other admirals were now skeptically eyeing her for a response, she shrunk down in her chair a few inches, embarrassed at being caught with her thoughts elsewhere. "Oh…erm…no, Raan. Nothing."

That brought a frown to Raan followed by a sigh that she made sure to keep reasonably quiet in front of the others. She was not frustrated with Tali in the slightest, but this deepened the worry she had for the woman. Quarians by their nature were typically a very social race, but Tali's behavior for a long time had only seemed to worsen bit by bit. This was in stark contrast to the usually enthralled and bubbly woman she had known all her life but Tali now seemed to be little more than a bystander at these Conclave meetings, never inputting her own ideas and limply casting her vote when the time called for a unanimous decision. Despite Tali's minimal efforts to conceal her feelings, she might as well have been waving a brightly colored sign that indicated something was wrong, for it was that obvious.

Gerrel, meanwhile, had dropped his belligerent stance and shrugged off Tali's nonparticipation quickly. "_Fine_," he scowled. "I can see that I cannot convince any of you otherwise. I'll loan ten ships max, the ones that are in poorer structural condition that is. I hope that a solution can be found in time, otherwise we might find ourselves in a worse position than where we started. And if troubles arise that would have benefited from the presence of these ships, I hope you'll realize where the blame lies."

"Excellent," Raan said honestly, relieved that at least something had been agreed upon today. She now looked at the opposite end of the table. "I'm assuming that, per your provided budget, Xen, that your current supplies of eezo are sufficient enough? You won't be bothered if you might not get any supplies for an indefinite period of time?"

The dark-suited admiral leaned forward slowly, her hands clasped together. "I won't be, but that could prove problematic for the progress I've been making for the last year."

"Oh yes," Koris sighed sarcastically. "You've been tinkering in your workshop with your cronies for all that time now, Xen, and tell me, do you have anything to show for it? We've given you a share of our tech and resources, both items which we are in scarce quantity of, in case you haven't been paying attention. I think we would all feel a little more assured if you could provide proof that you've made headway into your research with the geth."

"Madness, all of it," Gerrel grumbled.

Xen pointed a finger at Koris, the action quick and harsh. "Never, you spineless little worm, make assumptions of my competence ever again or I will make sure that you will regret it dearly. If in case you still have doubts, I would kindly invite you to peruse my headquarters at your leisure – no secrets between us."

"No one is questioning you, Xen," Raan said, playing the role of moderator. "It's just that many of us, not just the Conclave, harbor doubts about this little excursion you've been putting on. Add to the fact that you have been working inside a geth hub for a long time now and still have not made any tangible progress in your research."

"You want tangible progress? Here's your tangible progress." Xen opened her omni-tool and linked it to the projector embedded in the middle of the table. A half-scale diagram of a bipedal machine constructed in a white alloy stood upright, glowing blue from the emitted light: a standard geth worker.

"The reason why my progress has proven to be quite sluggish is due to several outside constraints which I have yet to account for entirely. You can see here that this geth unit appears similar to the initial model fashioned by our ancestors before the Morning War. However, in those three hundred years, the geth had subtly began improving their hardware, slowly adding bits of machinery that do not appear on our original blueprints. The story only worsens when you compare the interiors and the software."

Now the geth vanished and two orbs sprung up in its place. One was blue, layered with a cube-like structure, and from within a tiny white sparkle shone like a star. The other sphere was a hazy red but the surface seemed to continually be shifting its orientation, and the interior was home to a root-like structure that spread throughout the orb, the patterns more organic than synthetic.

"We already know that the Reaper upgrades allowed the geth to transition from barely intelligent singular units to full-fledged artificial intelligences," Xen explained, waving a hand at the two spheres. "This was what set them up to be irrevocably destroyed by the energy output from the Crucible. At the time, it was theorized that the geth were merely switched off by the Crucible and that all it would take was a manual reboot in order to get them up and running again. But the problem turned out to be more difficult than expected."

"Why is that?" Raan asked.

The orbs disappeared and a cross section of a geth's interior hardware replaced it. Right away, the admirals spotted a problem. The entire circuit board was blackened like it had been dipped in soot. The wires trailing underneath the surface were all singed and crumbled away. Xen referenced her notes for a second before she continued.

"It was more difficult because the wave of energy that destroyed the Reaper upgrades surged into the interior components and fried them. Every single geth had been rendered useless by the power surge. They are not able be reprogrammed or switched back on again with their original hardware."

"Keelah," Koris sighed as he held his head in his hands at the disastrous news.

"I didn't say that the problem was unsolvable," Xen assured, "but merely tedious. We have extra stores of hardware components that the geth used to run on around the flotilla, and their exoskeletons are intact for the most part, which provides an ample framework upon which to proceed. The only difficulty lies in the fact that we have to reprogram the geth from scratch – replicate the intricate VI networks - which is where most of my research has been spent."

"Right," Gerrel nodded. "You have to make sure that we don't replicate similar circumstances from our past otherwise we might end up having to flee Rannoch all over again."

"Exactly, although we could stand to not being so _overzealous_ in case a successful geth population does indeed start to exhibit a movement towards a greater intelligence. Archival evidence suggested that an overreaction on our part did have something to do with the rebellion to begin with."

"So you have the parts, and you're working on the code. What else do you need in order to begin a test with one of your new geth?"

"That's another issue. My laboratory requires element zero in order to perform a startup of a mobile platform. We still have to complete any retrofits in order to make the base run off of another source of fuel so until a suitable amount can be procured, I will be stuck with non-functioning geth if – when – I manage to complete the geth code. Of course, if there were any still-intact Reaper parts lying around I'd happily cannibalize them as it would save on me having to craft resources otherwise. From what was indicated, the geth were significantly better workers when they had the upgrades installed into them."

"And that's not going to happen," Koris muttered. "The turians assumed the cleanup of all Reaper hulks and moved them to the installation at Cygnus X-3 for disposal, including the hulk that we bombed here about a year and a half ago. They're not going to let anyone, least of all _us_, scrounge around that graveyard just for the purpose of creating another synthetic workforce. They're only going to think that we cannot control this next one as well, most likely. Of course, that's assuming that any Reaper components are still intact from the Crucible's assault. If the geth were fried, then the Reapers are most likely useless as well."

It was just a cycle of unceasing problems for the quarians. There were just too many endeavors on Rannoch that required element zero to fully function. The quarians needed fuel and machinery, but did not have the knowledge or materials to build such things from their current stockpiles. Having geth would simplify matters a great deal but in order for that to happen, more mechanical components and element zero needed to be acquired, but there were matters of greater importance on the planet that required those items' usage.

Procurement and allocation, these were jobs for a business manager, not for an admiral of a military fleet.

It was times like this that Raan felt like cursing out loud, but such an outburst was unbecoming of someone of her stature and she was way too reserved to even follow through with such a thought. Koris and Gerrel provided all of the profanity anyway, so there was that.

About an hour later, the meeting finally concluded with silence except for the scraping of datapads off the table while the admirals idly cleared their things up. Aside from the transfer of ships to be "reassigned," no other topic brought up for the day had made as much headway. A few scatterbrained ideas were brought up, such as the possibilities for infiltrating Cygnus X-3 for Reaper components or drawing eezo from the remaining liveships to conserve power, and were promptly shut down. The admirals were grasping at straws at this point, looking to voice whatever smidgen of an idea that popped into a head, no matter how many holes the plans had poked in them. Overall, the day could be called productive at the very least.

"One moment, Tali," Raan called as the purple-suited woman sullenly began to gather her things. "May I have a word before you go?"

Tali, in a half-standing position, gave a slow nod before she sat back down again. The other admirals had departed by this point, so Raan was able to talk freely between them. "How have you been feeling lately?" she began warmly, not wanting to spring on Tali immediately.

"Fine, I guess," Tali shrugged, which was such a poorly veiled lie that Raan knew that even Tali did not believe herself.

Raan bit her lip and spread her hands for a moment. She wanted to provide an air of comfort and not make this seem like an interrogation. "You've been quiet all day. Is there something on your mind?"

"Not really," Tali said as she began to draw her arms close, sealing herself off from everyone else.

Concerned that she was making Tali mentally withdraw, Raan decided to delicately broach the state of the woman's attitude. "Tali, if you…need someone to talk to, I can help you get in contact with the right person."

"What for?" Tali sighed with intense disinterest as she purposefully looked away, unwilling to make eye contact.

Raan tilted her head and blinked. This was not going well, which was something she had expected to happen but she was alarmed anyway at just how isolated Tali wanted to be right now. "Tali, I just want what's best for you. You don't have to say anything right now, but if you think it would benefit you, maybe a session with-"

"-Another psychologist?" Tali finished, now looking back at Raan with a distant glare in her eyes. "If the last one didn't do any good, Raan, then what could another possibly do for me?" Her tone and veiled expression dripped acid, the stance of someone already beaten by the world bearing down on them.

"Perhaps a different approach could change things," Raan gently urged. "You're hardly talking anymore, Tali. I just want to help. In any case, I read the report from your first therapist. They said you were distant, but noted that you provided enough details from your disclosure that they could understand what has been ailing you. Why did you stop going, Tali? You could have greatly benefited from extra sessions."

"Where I was just another client to them?" Tali scowled as she bunched her hands into fists so tightly that her knuckles began to pop. "It was _your_ idea to begin with, and I knew from the first day that it would not work. These so-called 'therapists' are overburdened every single day by people wishing to share their problems. Wars create opportunities for these leeches, where they can sit and listen to people pouring their thoughts out just for someone to categorize them into arbitrary groups and give them a bottle of pills for their troubles based on how severe they think our case are. How many of our people have not experienced a loss, Raan, and not been able to sufficiently cope? How many lovers, widows, and scarred veterans are out there right now, Raan? How many?"

"I…" Raan stumbled. "I don't know."

"Far too many for any one case to be remotely important," Tali said blankly. "And all have and will require a shrink at some point, so how can they separate me from everyone else? These people, Raan…they claim they can understand me, empathize with my loss. Tell me, how are they supposed to understand and interpret that the man I loved sacrificed himself so that everyone else could live? Is there some special category for that? Am I just a specimen to be studied in the name of high-profile counseling?"

"I…wouldn't go _that_ far, Tali," Raan said, her mood now falling as she did find a good amount of logic in the other woman's reasoning. "But any small amount of help could go a long way. There could also be an alternative if you so strongly believe that any attempts are doomed to fail. What if…_I_ were to be your avid listener, Tali?"

"_You?_" Tali asked darkly.

"Why not? I've always given you an open ear and never shied away when you needed someone to talk to. Maybe a professional is not what you need, Tali, but someone who can just listen to you talk. Shepard saved the galaxy, saved _you_, at the cost of his own life. That's a situation that no one else can come close to, I will admit. But, I do have an idea at the flurry of emotions you've been subjected to since then, so if you were to converse with someone you know, let it all flow out in the presence of a friend, do you think it might help? Would that be an option you'd be receptive to?"

Tali's fingers slowly tapped on the edge of her datapad. She gave Raan a long, hard stare before she scooped up her technology slate and stood up abruptly. "I appreciate the gesture, Raan, but _talking_ will not bring John back. That's always going to be the problem; John is dead and nothing will be able to change it. But I will be honest with you in one regard. John may have saved the galaxy by sacrificing himself, but I would rather the galaxy have _burned_ so that I could at least have died with him. Then I wouldn't be subjected to this farce of a life any more, one where he knowingly left me alone. Consider this, how can _anyone_ cope with that?"

Before Raan could respond, Tali turned and stormed out of the shuttle, her blood thundering in her ears. She shouldered past the double doors that hissed open, allowing the hazy orange light of Tikkun to beat down on her, making her feel warm through the suit.

Chatters of soldiers around the military compound came through her external noise processers, creating an environment full of busy life. People hurried around the arrangement of erected tents, huts, and other assorted shuttles, all focused on their duties at hand. Looking up slightly, Tali could see the glimmer of the hundred rows of shacks that formed one of the refugee camps cresting the top of a distant hill. Stalks of wheat gradually rose and fell in the foothills of the mountains nearby, and the sky took on hues of purple and orange from the light of the evening sun.

The warmth of the day felt nice to Tali. Ever since she had shut herself in that awful shuttle, it had seemed like her extremities were beginning to turn numb, either like the blood flow had been restricted or that it had been simply too cold in the room. Whatever the case, standing outside right now felt good, like a breath of fresh air after her mask had been removed. She wondered if she was ever going to get the opportunity to do that again.

Preparing to go, Tali held up a hand to protect herself from the glare and walked into another person almost immediately as her shins and chest suddenly caught on something quite solid. She stumbled backward but did not go down, her cheeks flushing from being so clumsy.

"I'm so sorry about that!" she blurted as she straightened up. "I wasn't looking where I was going."

"That's quite all right," a calm and deep voice assured. Tali moved out of the light from the sun to witness a rather large quarian standing right in front of her, currently brushing the chest plate of his enviro-suit, his comparative size making her internally question how she could have missed him to begin with. "Actually, I was hoping I would find one of you around, Admiral Zorah."

Tali blinked at that, puzzled. The more that she maneuvered into the shadows, the more about this new quarian she was able to make out. This male stood at least half a head taller than her, possessed a pair of shoulders broader than most members of their race, and their suit was adorned in varying shades of black and gray. His traditional hood was a solid shade of gold, which was wreathed about him in a minimalist fashion. The almost pitch-black visor did a good job of almost masking his glowing eyes completely, a trait which made Tali a little nervous. The visors did a good job of concealing features but being able to see eyes helped with deducing feelings and emotions between members of their race. The fact that she could see so little felt like she was deliberately put at a disadvantage.

"You…wanted to see me?" Tali asked cautiously, hoping that she could muster the will to keep up the appearance of a determined admiral rather than reveal more of the wreck she was on the inside.

"Actually, I was looking for Admiral Raan," the soldier specified – at least Tali thought he was a soldier, which was confirmed the moment she spied the rank of commander adorning a patch upon his sleeve. "I need to give her my latest scouting report on the planet's geography, seeing as she was the one who ordained it. Do you happen to know where she is?"

"Back that way," Tali indicated at the shuttle she had just left. "She's still inside the conference room, Commander…?"

"Inera," the large quarian dipped his head. "Commander Paav'Inera, ma'am."

"Commander Inera," Tali repeated before giving him a respectful nod. "You seem familiar for some reason. Have we met before?"

"Not personally, admiral. I've been in close proximity to the Conclave as Admiral Raan's aide-de-camp lately, though during the war I was mostly involved with actual combat missions under Admiral Gerrel. I even participated in the London campaign, where I understand you were also operating at the time."

"Yes," Tali said. "It was…a rough time over there."

"I won't trouble you anymore about it," Paav said, catching Tali's miniscule droop of her head. "You've got better things to do than listen to an old warhorse recount his stories, most likely. Pleasure meeting you, admiral."

"As it was for me," Tali said earnestly. "Keelah se'lai, Commander Inera."

"Keelah se'lai, Admiral Zorah," the large soldier said respectfully after touching the side of his helmet.

Tali watched the commander walk up the ramp before she proceeded on her way through the military compound to her own accommodations. The ground underneath her feet had been trampled so many times by passerby that the soft grass had been completely uprooted, leaving only a quagmire behind. Mud caked on her boots as she walked, her soles making squishing noises as she slogged through the muck. She had only just begun to get used to the weird sensation after living here for a couple months, but it did not stop her from hating it all the same.

An advantage of being an admiral was that their living space was constructed on the base in a secluded area near a small cliff wall, and the homes were slightly better built as well. Tali walked over to her specified shack, the one that corresponded with her number, and pried open the flimsy door before she walked inside.

The interior of her hut was sparse and coated with a thin layer of dust. All that Tali had to her name on this planet was in this very room: a cot appropriated from the liveship and her own personal food synthesizer placed on a flimsy desk (another perk of her rank as other quarians had to procure food from one of the established commissaries). The assembled pieces of metal that formed the exterior walls were haphazardly placed (the new _modus operandi_), and as a result light constantly blazed through the cracks, illuminating the thousands of particulates that floated within the cramped and drafty space. The floor was simply dirt, as Tali had not wanted to sully what few cloth items she had by making them into carpets. At least the ground underneath the room was sheltered from the elements that the literal swamp outside did not extend into her home itself.

Tali hated everything here. She hated the uncomfortable bed, the constant noise from the camps, and the decrepit state of her "quarters." Was this really the result of the quarian manifest destiny? To be sheltered in an overcrowded and downright unpleasant slum on the homeworld? How was this any different from the flotilla? The state of her living conditions here was downright laughable and insulting to boot. This was nothing like she had been promised for years on end. Two people had promised to build homes for her on this world at separate points in her life. Now that both of them were dead, the duty had been carried out by the underpaid laborers of a mandatory union drafted by her own ruling body, workers that only cared about getting their job done quickly, not well. The results certainly spoke for themselves.

All her life, Tali had been wishing to live in a house on Rannoch, to live on the surface and breathe the same air as her ancestors once did. She wanted to own the spot on the cliff side, the place overlooking the spot where the Reaper had fallen, and look out her window to see the ocean, shimmering and blue. All she had to look at was a mud-splattered avenue and ten other homes of the exact build. So much for the individuality and uniqueness of living on the homeworld.

Tali constantly monitored the state at which her zoning application was at, even going so far as to pester the clerk in front of the department in person just to see what sort of progress had been made every week. Each response was exactly the same: "It'll be at least a couple more months until we come to a solution." Tali grew more and more agitated every day. She did not want to spend a single minute in this slum longer than necessary. She wanted to receive her housing certificate, resign her commission, and erect her own damn house herself in a location where she would not have to interact with another living being for a long time. Only then could she manage to find a small measure of peace.

Tali sat down on the edge of her bunk and momentarily fiddled with the pistol hooked at her side with the intention of putting it away before she took a break. She lifted the firearm up and hefted it with both hands, appraising the gray tone of the weapon. The longer she sat there, the more conflicted her mind became. She had mentioned to Raan that she would rather have died the day Shepard was taken from her life, but were they words that had true intentions behind them? It was so easy to speak them, but acting them out was a lot harder.

Tali slowly rotated the gun, finding it more difficult to put it down for some reason. In reality, what was to stop her from turning the pistol around fully and then pulling that trigger? It was a simple action that could only be halted by hesitation of the mind. Such a conclusion was what she wanted, right? What would be the harm in just going through with such an implied process?

_Tempting, yes…_

Would her ancestors look down on her if she went through with it? How could she be rightfully judged if they had no idea of the hell she went through by simply living? Every morning it was gruel for breakfast, and swill for each dinner, all while occupying a plane of existence that bordered on nothingness, to be driven wherever the wind took her. This was not an excuse for life, not by a long shot. At least this way, she had an exit, a permanent solution to the chaos. That was not an ignoble cause, was it?

_And…I'll be with John again…_

Her gut suddenly threw a wrench in her system and Tali jolted abruptly, almost dropping the pistol as she bent down and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Gritting her teeth as the harsh pain subsided as quickly as it had arrived, Tali was left sitting on the bed, now consciously clutching the grip of a gun in such a fierce grip that her hand was shaking quite badly. Breathing slow and steady, disgusted at the sight of the weapon for some reason, Tali slid open a drawer at the foot of her bunk and quickly dropped the pistol into it before she savagely kicked it shut.

She put a hand to her helmeted head, wondering what had just come over her. Tali could taste the acrid tang of bile on her tongue and she was aware that her brow had begun to sweat heavily. Feelings of hopelessness came upon her, trapped and alone in this box, frothing over the lip. When would this ever end? Was she doomed to this existence for as long as she lived, to be tormented by the memory of a dead human?

What had she done to deserve this?

Curling up into a ball on the hard cot, Tali forced herself to think of a sturdy little house before sleep could take her. She envisioned a structure made of stone, a small workshop filled with technological trinkets, and a tiny garden filled with things that she planted herself. It must have been a good thought because she was out in no time and transported back into her temporary haven from reality.

* * *

Palaven

For any outsider, the Cipritini Naval Base would be a sight to behold. Capital ships, kilometers long, lined up in formation on the ground, in hangars the size of convention centers, while squadrons of tiny fighters dotted the runways like insects. The scarred hulks of broken ships that had been cruelly deposited on the ground by the now-dead machine gods had long been piled away by now, allowing the remainder of the turian military force to resume operations like normal. Things were still relatively tense at the moment, despite the lull in fighting.

It was not the turian way to simply stop preparing for battle outright. A warlike species, turians were required to serve in the military once they reached a specific age. Many pursued such a lifestyle as a career while others typically maintained the disciplines that had been drilled into them for their other ventures that did not involve pointing a gun at something, making them extremely loyal and duty-bound as a unified people. As it was, the base was constantly aflutter with activity, filled with soldiers performing their usual calisthenics, pilots making test runs of their remaining fighters, and the noise of mechanics hard at work repairing whatever damage had been sustained from the Reapers' assault.

Currently perambulating along the western walkway that connected Units Four and Five, Garrus Vakarian hardly stopped to admire the view, despite his terrific vantage point. From his perspective, he was capable of witnessing the impressive sight of the military in full swing, capped off by the sight of the capital city being rebuilt in the distance. The downtown area of Cipritini gleamed like sharp crystals bursting from the ground like flowers, raw mountain peaks providing an ever-changing background in the distance. It gave Garrus a swell of pride each time he looked outside, though, as it confirmed that no matter how much his people had been through, they were still capable of enduring.

Right now, Garrus' mind was so saddled with activity that glancing outside was one of the last things on his mind at the moment. He was going over a report he was currently about to make to his superior when he heard his omni-tool ring, signaling that he had just received a message.

Garrus stopped in the middle of the walkway, finding it incapable to multitask, and decided to open the message right now. He took a tiny second to glance up and smile at the hopeful sight of his resourceful people before the text of the message floated into view.

_I'll be waiting at the Armax Arsenal next week to kick your ass, Vakarian! _The message read._ Then we'll see if you can put your money where your mouth is. Five whole rounds of Cerberus fuckers (plus mechs) with nothing but pistols. And no, if you win you're not going to get laid. Nervous?_

It was signed _Jack_, and Garrus had to let out a chuckle. "As charming as ever," he muttered to himself. "I feel sorry for her students if she mouths off like that in front of them."

He checked his schedule and found an empty spot next week where he could clear off some time to make a visit to the Shepard Citadel. That made his correspondence with the foul-mouthed human biotic nearly completing the entire set of interactions with the former crew of the Normandy. In the past few months, he had made the effort to talk to each and every one of them whenever the time allowed. He spent many an hour catching up on old times with Liara, losing money to Kasumi at the casino, and even embarked on a bar crawl with Zaeed, Vega, Wrex, and Grunt. He still was nursing his wounds from that last soiree, making a note to never challenge a krogan to a drinking contest ever again.

So, with this outing with Jack currently planned, that still left one person on his list that he had yet to talk to since they last saw each other in person. It was not like he had not been trying since then, as Garrus had made every effort to connect with this person via omni-tool messages, QEC links, and even asking other people if they had been in contact with her recently. The more Garrus spent not hearing back from Tali, not even from mutual friends on her status, the fiercer the itch became in the back of his head.

How long had it been since he had last seen the quarian? Six months? Garrus wanted to know what she had been doing in that time. When he had saw her last, she was nearly catatonic with grief, resigning herself to her room in what was now her apartment for the entire duration of the John Shepard Citadel ceremony. He personally doubted that things had improved in that amount of time, but he could not be sure completely unless he could talk to her. The fact that she had gone dark for everyone worried him to no end.

"Vakarian?" a gruff voice came from behind him, making him straighten up instinctively.

"Primarch Victus," Garrus said as the dark-skinned turian walked up to him, the golden sunlight streaming across his face. "I apologize, sir, I was going to find you but I got a little…distracted."

"No need," the leader of the Turian Hierarchy assured as he knowingly scratched at one of his mandibles. "I was not expecting you to report back to me for the next couple days, actually. Was there anything out of the ordinary that you feel is necessary to highlight during your inspection?"

As much as Garrus had tried to enjoy his newfound retirement for the past year, he had found himself slowly going stir-crazy from the lack of anything particularly noteworthy in his life. Sure, he enjoyed the fantastical amount of income he got in royalties from the vids shot of him during the war, as well as from action figure sales and that biographical vid that hit theaters a couple months back (they even got arguably the most popular turian actor to portray him). Casinos, alcohol, luxurious trips across the galaxy, every single accoutrement that he could think of all went sampled as Garrus continued to partake more in how the wealthy lived.

However, Garrus quickly found out that no amount of money could help him move on from his old lifestyle quite as well as an honest day's work. There were times that he missed skulking around in places like Omega, scoping bad guys in the head and trying to clean up the galaxy a tiny piece at a time. With Shepard, he had been doing something _noble_, he actually had a purpose in life. Now, there was just…this. Money, time, and a hell of a lot of booze. Good in small doses but quite terrible for forming a lifestyle around.

Finally fed up and bored, Garrus had stormed out of his apartment one day and approached Primarch Victus, having served as a temporary advisor for him during the war, and bluntly asked for a job as a consultant. Victus was only happy to oblige, seeing as he had no choice but to accept the request of a war hero as well as a personal friend to him. This way, Garrus was able to gain a little consistency in his life. He worked part time, received fair wages, and he knew that his continued service was impacting people more directly than simply dropping a donation into a bucket. Here on Palaven, he could at least see the fruits of his labor take shape.

"No, sir," Garrus said after taking one last glance outside. "Other than the reconstruction efforts over on the northern continent are proceeding more quickly than initially expected. The general over at the base puts an estimate that, perhaps within ten years, the neighboring cities and towns will be back to their minimum population levels, so that's welcome to hear."

"Good news all around then," Victus mused. "We've been receiving similar reports from other bases all across the planet. If you'd asked me how the hell we would have recovered from such a disaster, even I could not have been so optimistic as to say something in the _range_ of ten years. Spirits, Garrus…I…"

"We can take a punch, sir," Garrus stepped in. "We're tougher than we give ourselves credit for."

"Better add the humans to the list of species we've underestimated. I don't know if you've seen their recent broadcasts, but you'd be amazed either way. They've really cleaned up, Garrus, even that city we fought on together. What was its name again?"

"London, sir."

"London!" Victus waggled his finger in victory. "Yes, that's the name. Anyway, I saw newsfeeds just not long ago of some sections that had been worked on extensively and I swear that you never could have known that a war had just transpired in those very streets. Obviously most of the city is still heavily damaged but those humans know how to get work done. It makes one wonder how we ever thought we could subdue them upon our first meeting. How things have changed, Vakarian."

Garrus gave a tiny shrug. "Times of stress tend to bring people together to work towards a common goal."

"Damn right. At least we've no shortage of volunteers on that front. Still, ten years…" The primarch's gaze had gradually drawn out the window at this point, but he shuddered as if someone dumped a bucket of cold water onto his head. Shaking the glaze off of his eyes, he grumbled slightly before he turned back to Garrus. "Well, one can only look back on the past for so long. Is that's what's been bugging you, Vakarian? Have you been reminiscing on this just as much as I have?"

"Not exactly, sir," Garrus said as he sheepishly began to rub the back of his head, which had begun to consciously itch. "It's just…I've been thinking about a friend lately. She's been on my mind lately."

"Ah," Victus grinned with a mischievous look in his eyes. "The romantic kind of friend?"

Garrus quickly shook his head with a panicked laugh. "No, not that kind of friend. I don't see her at all that way. Just a very good friend."

Victus nodded like he understood. "So what's the trouble, if you don't mind my asking?"

"No, I don't mind. It's just…I haven't seen her in months and I'm worrying about her."

"She local or distant?"

"She's on Rannoch, if that's what you mean."

"Quarian, eh?" Victus crossed his arms. "She the one that was part of your old crew? Shepard's mate?"

"Yeah, she's the one. Tali's her name, sir."

"Poor woman," the elder turian sighed. "Go through all that crap with the war and all just to lose him at the very end. That only proves that life is just unfair. No wonder you're worried about her."

Garrus was silent for a few seconds as he got a faint picture of the man who had been his mentor and friend in his head. One mental look at Shepard's cocky grin and suddenly he began to feel dizzy. He took a deep breath before continuing. "She's been through a lot and hasn't been talking to anyone since the day the Citadel was reopened. I was in the middle of wondering what she was doing when you walked up to me, actually."

Victus' mandibles gave a singular twitch as he looked down at the ground. He then eyed Garrus knowingly before he gave a lopsided shrug. "Well then, I don't think I can have you working here distracted, Vakarian. It doesn't exactly help with anyone's work ethic all that well. Hell, now's the time when we need friends more than ever. I'd be a terrible employer if I never addressed any turmoil my employees are facing anyway."

"Sir?" Garrus asked, confused.

"Take the week off," Victus waved. "Or the month if you want. Better yet, take as much time as you need and tend to your friend. I can't in good conscience stand by while friends separated by lightyears are in need."

"I thought you needed me here to-"

"_Go_, Vakarian. Damn it, don't make me have to order you to take time off. You're practically a contract worker anyway so you can afford to spend some time away from work. I have others performing similar tasks like you, but you don't need to worry about your job security as I can't exactly let war veterans go otherwise my public opinion will drop drastically. Rest assured, your desk will still be here when you return."

Garrus blinked before the realization of what the primarch said fully hit him. His mandibles slowly spreading in a turian smile, Garrus dipped his head graciously. "_Thank you_, sir. I can't be certain if Tali wants or needs my help exactly, but I think that seeing a familiar face will be very important to her."

"No need to thank me," Victus said, his gaze suddenly weary. "Helping your friend is more important than your work. And from what you have told me, knowing all that she's experienced, it's clear that the woman needs all the help she can get."

* * *

**A/N: Going for a slow burn with the story, seeing as I have made the mistake in the past of getting to the main plot way too quickly and thus making everything seem rushed. Maybe it's my relaxed schedule that's helping out with that, or I finally have forced myself to be more patient with my writing. Either that or its the constant loop of Hans Zimmer or Junkie XL's Mad Max soundtracks that have been playing in the background giving me a constant source of inspiration (I love those war drums!)**

**Looking back, it occurred to me that most stories concerning the recolonization of Rannoch usually carry an optimistic tone, emphasizing the fact that the quarians have finally gotten their homeworld and now they're doing all they can to rebuild what they lost. But, since this is not a happy story, nor am I going to allow any optimism to shine through for a while, this troubled and bleak tone in the first part of this chapter hopefully hammers in the direction I want this story to take. Harsh? Maybe, but I'm guessing you probably weren't expecting much fluff when you clicked on the link.**

**Trust me, everything right now is leagues lighter than what I have planned for the future. No punches will be pulled, you can count on that.**


	4. Chapter 3: Toxic Thinking

_Clack…clack…clack…_

The echo of the rock continued to reverberate long after it had been thrown. Bits of the sandy stone were steadily sheared off as it bounced down the cliff, finally clattering to a halt in a tiny crevasse about twenty meters from the final edge that separated the bay from the land. The only other sound in the immediate area were the waves that continually crashed against the boulders near the edge, sending plumes of ocean spray spewing up into the air as the tide rolled against the denser medium.

From her position about a hundred meters above sea level, Tali sat cross-legged right at the lip of a ledge, her fingers aimlessly scrounging around for another rock to throw. She soon found another candidate and rolled the stone in her hand for a bit, which left a thin coat of dust upon her palm, sullying the fabric on her suit. She then lifted her arm and swung it in a lazy arc, releasing her grip on the rock at the terminus of her swing. The rock sailed into the air before gravity took hold and caused it to plummet directly into the sea this time, which barely made a ripple as the water swallowed it up.

Tali sighed as she leaned back a bit. Times like this when she could just be alone were few and far between, but this was as close to serenity as she was ever going to get on this planet. The bustle of the quarian camps certainly grated on the nerves, which made the need for a place to get away from it all a necessity.

She had not gotten very far from the settlement from a geographic point of view, only five miles, but Tali still felt isolated regardless. It had taken her about two hours to reach this spot on foot and when she finally arrived, her legs ached so much that she wanted to do nothing but sit down and watch the scenery for hours. After all, with the ocean, the bay, and the sky, it was like she had been transported into one of those old poems she had read endlessly about as a child. _To see the world with eyes anew…_ was a passage that stood out vividly in her mind. It made for a good backdrop.

It was not by coincidence that Tali had chosen this spot to relax. On the contrary, she was very familiar with the surrounding land around her and had memorized the placement of every shrub, hill, and object in the landscape over the past few times she had come here. It was all like she had remembered it when she had first laid eyes on the place about a year ago. She hoped that she could stay here more, for this was the place that she had requested her house be built – the very cliff where she and Shepard had fought the Reaper, ended the centuries-long war with the geth, and shared a kiss with the waves crashing beneath them as they celebrated their victory.

That brought a smile to Tali's face, the first one in a long time, as she looked down upon the peninsula where that pivotal moment had taken place. Just a ways away was the small valley, gouges still scuffed into the desert floor, where the bombardment from the quarians had completely decimated the Reaper destroyer, creating a scarred hulk that rusted there for months before the turians arrived to cart it away to who knows where. No one could possible hold this spot in such significance like her and Tali itched with anticipation at the mere thought of living in this spectacular place instead of a dingy and beaten down shack.

Here, she could finally be free. Free from the bustle and duties of an admiral, free from having to sleep in a rickety old shack, and free from interacting with anyone in general.

There was a whirring noise behind her, which made Tali turn to have a look. She stared for a moment before she gave out a rough sigh. Near one of the rocky hills, Admiral Xen clambered out of a two-seater transport, a Zephyr, and summarily crossed her arms. She made no motion to gesture the younger admiral over to her, nor would she, as Xen could make whatever she wanted abundantly clear without ever having to open her mouth.

Taking the hint, Tali huffed before she unfurled her legs and stood up. She dusted herself off briefly before she walked over to Xen, her hands already coming together to be wrung anxiously. "Admiral Xen," Tali greeted cautiously.

"Tali," the elder quarian stiffly replied, not even gracing Tali with her proper rank. Without elaborating further, Xen walked over to the leftmost side of the vehicle and promptly sat in the driver's position. "Get in."

Tali dearly would have liked to tell Xen to shove it and insist on walking back herself. That at least would give her two whole hours of alone time as she would begin the trek back to the camp, but it was obvious that Xen was not going to let that fly this time. Finding no alternative to her advantage, Tali slowly clambered into the side position and Xen twisted the controls, sending the Zephyr screaming across the desert.

The Zephyr, unlike the rusted and clunky transports that defined quarian construction, was a gracefully constructed vessel, purple-gray in color. It had been donated by the asari, a calculated move in order to help facilitate new bonds between the species but also serving as a sign of good faith. They had only loaned out ten of the vehicles to the quarians so they were specifically reserved for command staff on Rannoch. It was only natural that Xen, being of a controlling sort, vied for possession of such a craft as it was much more efficient than walking everywhere.

The contours of the two person craft were smooth, no hard angles. A miniature mass effect engine sat in the front while the aesthetically pleasing bodywork curved around it, almost as if the metal had been crafted by brushstrokes for the patterns were supremely graceful. Located at the back of the Zephyr were the only two seats, laid out in the open for the elements to batter. As it was, Tali had now been resorted to clutching at the armrests of her seat while the wind ripped at her hood, thanks to Xen's driving. She remembered Shepard telling her that many humans on his homeworld enjoyed similar craft that took advantage of the open air to ride around in, calling such odd-looking craft _motorcycles_ (despite the fact that none of said vehicles had possessed a traditional motor in decades). Holding on for dear life, Tali sincerely questioned how anyone could find appeal of open-air transport at all.

Gulping her breakfast back down heavily, Tali glanced over at Xen. "So…how did you know where to find me?"

"I believe you can answer that question yourself," Xen snapped back, not even bothering to turn her head minutely.

Tali thought as much, but still felt a guilty stab nonetheless. _Raan_. Only she would have known where Tali had gone. "And why did she want me?"

"I believe she wanted to hear your excuse come from your own mouth."

Tali's brow furrowed in confusion underneath her mask. "What are you even talking about?"

That earned a sideways look from Xen. "Huh. You completely forgot all about it, didn't you?"

"Forgot about _what?_"

"You missed an Admiralty Board meeting, Tali'Zorah," Xen hissed as she maneuvered the Zephyr through a narrow canyon. "That _is_ part of your job assignment, is it not? To govern the people in the interim following construction of a stable civilian government? The least we expect of our elected representatives is that they actually _participate_ in gatherings of our defined body, much less _show up_."

Tali's face flushed red-hot with embarrassment. How could she have been so stupid? She thought she had memorized the exact dates of these meetings so that this could never have happened. Furious with herself, Tali looked at her omni-tool and blinked at the sheer amount of preprogrammed messages reminding her that her presence was required at a meeting this afternoon. Somehow, she had missed all of them.

Meanwhile, Xen was still berating her. "…We tried contacting you repeatedly via your omni-tool, but you didn't respond. You were not at your defined living area, and it was only after the meeting had concluded did Raan get the idea that you were in this vicinity. She would have gone herself but she had other matters to attend to that were more important than locating a wayward colleague." Xen now looked over her shoulder, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "The least you could do, Tali'Zorah, is acknowledge your mistake right now."

"Oh…oh…" Tali fumbled, still wracking her brain to figure out how something like this could have happened. "I-I-I'm sorry, Xen. I don't know what…I guess something just came over me…"

Xen shook her head in dismissal, cutting Tali off while she drove. "You know, we had a vote for utilizing resources for tech research today. Basically it boiled down to my technicians receiving more opportunities to revive the geth network with a fresh allocation of necessary supplies, particularly more spare geth parts salvaged from the battlefields. Unsurprisingly, Gerrel and Koris opposed my request while Raan sided with me, resulting in a draw and ultimately causing my proposal to be ignominiously shot down. Avoiding situations like that is generally why we have an odd number of admirals serving on a Conclave, Tali, and it's also why all admirals have stand-ins so in case they _are_ a no-show, their spot can be filled anyway."

"For what point?" Tali snarled unexpectedly.

"_Excuse_ me?"

"Tell me," Tali said firmly as she rotated her torso in her seat, letting her disdain all fall out, "who would want to be a stand-in for me, Xen? I hold no real power with the other members of the Conclave and you know it, so stop giving me grief about that fact. Also, a stand-in would signify that I have responsibilities _other_ than performing menial representative work, work that _you_ dictated I perform while you and everyone else operate on assignments far more important than what you allocated me to do."

"I fail to see what this means. You are an _admiral_-"

"Of what?" Tali pressed. "I command no ships. I have no influences, no fleets, nothing at my disposal. I am an admiral of _nothing_. I may be _vas Rannoch_ here, but up there," she pointed to the sky, "I am _vas Neda_. Crew of _nothing_. Do not, Xen, not now, even _pretend_ that I'm even remotely important to you other than to be the swing voter in your favor whenever a topic that concerns you comes up. I'm not your pawn in this game you're playing, so don't expect me to automatically sympathize with your troubles. If the next words out of your mouth are going to be a lie to everything I just said, just don't even say them at all." Tali now narrowed her eyes in kind. "Prove me wrong, Xen."

Mercifully, Xen just tightened her fingers upon the handlebars of the Zephyr and proceeded to pilot the craft in silence. In a few minutes, the first huts of the quarian settlement began to peek out from over the next ridge. Civilians scattered out of the way to allow Xen and Tali through as they reached E'ryda's limits, parting just in time for the Zephyr to speed through the streets, not even bothering to slow down.

It took another three minutes to reach the military compound at their current speed. Xen finally slowed down and parked the Zephyr near the three main shuttles used for conferencing by the Conclave. Tali turned to hop out of the craft, but Xen suddenly reached out and painfully grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"If I might leave you with a word of advice," Xen whispered while Tali made a noise of pain from the elder quarian's strong grip, "your attitude has been consistently boorish for a while now and frankly, I've reached the end of my patience. You may think that you've done a decent job at hiding it, but I'm sure it will not be that surprising when I tell you that everyone, even Gerrel and Koris, are aware of the inner turmoil that you are experiencing. I don't wish to sound rude, but in the interest of maintaining a stable atmosphere, _get a grip on yourself_, Tali."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Tali cried, alarmed, as she yanked her arm out of Xen's grip. _Get to your house. Just get to your house and don't interact with her anymore_. She turned to leave but Xen also jumped out of the Zephyr, not finished.

"You know _precisely_ what I'm talking about!" Xen roared while Tali tried to turn away. A few passerby turned their heads at the noise but the duo took no notice. "Your continued antisocial behavior will no longer be tolerated, Tali'Zorah! I might be able to understand taking a week out of your schedule for your loss, but an entire year spent moping around is completely ridiculous. Grow a spine like your father and get over yourself! I didn't see _him_ bawling his eyes out when he lost his wife for days on end! You could still stand to learn a few things from him, it seems!"

_Go. Get out of here._ Tali's trembling feet finally began to move in the direction of her house, but the angry stomping of Xen's boots on the ground abruptly caught up to her, and Tali felt herself rudely spun around to come face to face with a livid Xen. "Where do you think you're going? I'm not finished talking to you!"

"Let go of me," Tali whispered, feeling detached, like she had stepped outside of her own body.

"Not until I hear directly from you that you acknowledge your erratic behavior and that you're going to make steps to correct it right now!"

Xen was taller than Tali, which she resented, and the look from the dark-suited quarian's eyes gave the younger admiral the feeling like she was being studied under a microscope. Heat and anger arising from indignation began to froth forward from Xen's rough treatment, causing Tali's shoulders to begin shaking.

"It's not that simple," Tali spoke quietly. "You've never known what it's like, have you?"

"What is _it_, Tali?"

"Have you ever loved anyone, admiral? Have you ever felt some modicum of attachment to another living being, one that seemingly transcends physical bonds into something more…visceral?"

"Oh, _please_," Xen scoffed. "I've never had the use for such a torrid connection, despite our society's encouragement to mate with one another for population stability. In fact, I don't think the problem is as insidious as you imply, Tali. People die all the time, and you've gotten over many in your life. Your father, your team on Haestrom, death has followed you your whole life. What difference has one human made that no one else could? It's time for you to accept reality, Tali, and acknowledge once and for all that Shepard is dead and move on just like you have done for everyone else that you have lost!"

"_Every day_ I wake up…and he isn't there," Tali mumbled as the direction of her head began to drift. "To have someone whom you have known intimately for a long time suddenly…gone, it's _agony_. It's like a piece of me is missing and I am unable to stitch myself back together. If you were in my place, Xen, if you lost someone you cared deeply about, understand that you and I would be having a very different conversation right now." With a newfound determination, Tali reached over and pried Xen's hand off her arm and took a calculated step back. "When you begin to suffer in the way I'm suffering right now, you'll realize how I came to be this way."

The roll of Xen's eyes was obvious, even from under her visor. "What I understand perfectly is that you're far too emotionally compromised from Shepard's death, which has rendered you incapable of performing your duties. Based on your testimony without any palpable coercion on my end, I'm going to have to recommend to the Conclave that your status as admiral be revoked, at least until you can prove your soundness of mind."

If Xen expected Tali to protest, she had another shock incoming. "Fine," Tali shrugged bitterly. "Go ahead, disbar me. You'd just be doing me a favor anyway, Xen."

"_Admiral_ Xen," the quarian corrected dangerously. "And I think you should adopt a more respectful tone. I'm not here to do you any favors, Tali'Zorah. I'm here to make sure that you're a contribution to our society instead of a _burden_." To make her point, Xen lightly shoved Tali on the shoulder, who was forced back a step but did not wither further underneath the scathing gaze.

"Just dismiss me, if that's what you really want. I'm not naïve to think that many of my problems will disappear from now on, but you'd save me the trouble with dealing with a few of them in the meantime."

"Oh, I will, Tali. But apparently _you're_ still naïve enough to think that you're going to walk away from this scot-free. I'm going to make sure that you will learn a harsh lesson soon enough, and it will be _because_ of your naiveté. Naïve enough to assume that your human wanted you specifically because of a so-called bond that you believed you shared. But…perhaps he might have pursued such a tryst once he had realized the benefits your newfound rank could create for him, or did you actually think that he loved you- _oof!_"

Tali threw her fist forward so fast that she barely even felt herself crossing the distance between her and Xen. The elder quarian doubled over as Tali smashed her in the gut and collapsed to her knees in a coughing fit. There was no time to process the ramifications of what she had just done. There was merely a meekness that had fallen over the entire scene, making time seem slower than how it was transpiring naturally.

Shocked, Xen tilted her head upward, her eyes wide in confusion. She bobbed a little bit, as if trying to find the next words to say, but Tali surged forward again and fiercely hit Xen on the side of the head, that action coming automatically as well. Her punch caught some of the admiral's hood in the process, which softened some of the blow, but Xen fell to the ground hard anyway, leaving Tali standing above her with a throbbing hand, her knuckles pounding where they had impacted on the hard helmet.

Now the voices of the crowd were slowly becoming more and more audible the longer Tali stood there. It then dawned on her that in her current position, holding an aggressive stance while a fellow admiral lay at her feet, did not look good by any stretch of the means. Slowly, timidly, she began to relax her stance, her face reddening while more and more people turned to look at the commotion.

Tali could see her fellow soldiers turning and whispering to one another, their gazes rapt with curiosity and fear. She could hear her own name being whispered among the crowd, like a taunt. Her breath began to spike and her heart started to beat harder while its tempo escalated.

_I just…I hit her. Oh, Keelah…I hit her…_

"Tali!" a voice rose above the hushed din. A sandy-suited quarian female quickly shouldered aside a few marines as she brought herself to the forefront that had begun to encircle the attacked and attacker. "_Tali!_"

Heart in her throat, Tali numbly began to ran, bounding over the prone Xen in the process, and stumbled through the throng in front of her. Annoyed grunts and sour gazes leered at her, but she lowered her head like a bull and broke through the fleshy barrier. Raan was still calling her name in the background, but she didn't listen. Instead she ran underneath the struts of a nearby shuttle, avoiding the steam vents that burst out in random intervals along the undercarriage, toward her hut near the cliff recess.

Spurred on by what she imagined were hundreds of pairs of eyes searing into the back of her head, Tali quickly reached her hut and rushed inside, slamming the door closed on squeaky hinges. Before she could sit down, however, Raan threw the flimsy threshold aside so that she could step in, sealing the two of them in the room together.

"Get out, Raan," Tali moaned as she pressed her back up to the wall. "I don't want to talk now."

"Tali…" Raan whispered as she held her arms out, reaching to grasp the young woman's shoulders gently, as opposed to Xen's harsh actions.

"I said _GET OUT!_" Tali shrieked as she suddenly knocked Raan's arms away, causing them to smart.

Raan, however, did not leave, but stood shocked at Tali's outburst. Knowing that backing out could be the worst mistake she could make right now, Raan instead walked over to Tali and embraced her like a loving parent. Even through their suits, Raan could feel Tali's body trembling quite badly which only served to deepen her concern that she held for the person she viewed like she was her own daughter.

Trapped in the tender hug, Tali quakes slowly calmed down and she loosely rested her head on Raan's shoulder. "I'm sorry…" she mumbled. "I'm sorry, Raan. I'm so sorry…"

"Shh, Tali," Raan soothed as she helped the younger quarian sit down atop her cot, only sitting down next to her when Tali had been fully settled. "Just relax. Everything's going to be fine."

"I _know_ that's a lie," Tali said morosely as she tipped her palms upward in shame. "What have I _done_, Raan? I just struck an admiral of the fleet in front of the entire compound! How is everything going to be just _fine_?"

Raan bit her lip at that. As much as she wanted to comfort the distraught woman, there was the implication that sugarcoating the current circumstances would not be particularly beneficial at the moment. The tricky part now was choosing the kind of tone to adopt when talking to Tali as going too harshly on her would just cause the woman to shut down and withdraw even further. Gentle but firm was the key here.

"Tali," Raan said, "I cannot deny that there will be consequences for what you have done today. Xen is…not the forgiving sort, as you and I both know, unfortunately. She will certainly resent you embarrassing her in public today and will work at returning the favor in any way she can."

"You mean a trial?" Tali said tonelessly. "That's what it's going to boil down to, isn't it? That's the only way that Xen can win without this dissolving into a matter out of our control."

"The only _legal_ way, yes. Keelah, Tali, what did Xen _say_ to get you to react in such a manner? I've never known you to be prone to such acts of violence. The only time I've witnessed such a vulgar display was when…"

"…When John punched Admiral Gerrel in the stomach?" Tali finished. "I was trying to replicate his exact movements, actually. Watching him punch Gerrel, making him crumble right in front of him…it's what I wanted to do in Xen in that moment after she…questioned my bond with John. I think that was what she _wanted_ to happen, now that I think about it."

"Obviously, Tali. No one could even _question_ the affection you two shared if they even looked at you for a moment. But what could Xen gain from provoking you? Was there a reason for this unfortunate situation happening in the first place?"

"I'm sure Xen's motive was to bump me off the Admiralty Board altogether," Tali shrugged, her eyelids drooping with disinterest. "That's the only reason she would go to such mind games with me. She had said to me that I was too…_'emotionally compromised_' to be serving earlier. I suspect that it was all a ploy so she can get a puppet of her choosing into my spot at best, but I think she was more annoyed that I didn't care for her threats, which quickly escalated into a personal attack on me." Tali blew air out of her mouth. "And I fell for it."

Raan sighed, her body language effectively communicating her anguish. "Tali…I fear that with your reckless display, you may have just proved Xen's point for being 'compromised' as you said. Lashing out at everyone is not going to help your case and this altercation can certainly get spun against you. With this amount of evidence stacked against you, your admiralty could seriously be in danger of getting revoked."

"I don't _care_ anymore, Raan. I didn't want to admit it in front of her, but Xen was right. All I do is think about John for as long as the days last. I cannot recall a time when he _hasn't_ come to my mind. How else can I explain it other than me being emotionally compromised?" Tali's voice was beginning to crack with emotion by now and her hands began grasping at the air like she was trying to pluck something unseen to the naked eye. "It's a _sickness_, Raan. I'm slowly going crazy knowing that I'm here and he's not. It's almost as if…"

Tali then stiffened as subtly shifted her head in a different direction while Raan was left waiting for further elaboration. "I don't think I need to repeat myself to you, Raan, because I know what you're going to say. I can tell you right now that my answer is still going to be no to your suggestion of professional help again. I will not allow anyone to fiddle with my emotions, make me somehow shut part of John out. I just cannot do that to his memory."

"Aren't you afraid of what might happen if you continued on this path, Tali?" Raan pleaded. "To be a danger to others, not to mention yourself, you aren't worried at all? This destructive nature, it has to end at some point."

"Right now the only thing that sits on the end of my path is that house I'm going to build on that cliff," Tali said blankly. "I'm going to live there until the end of my days, isolated from everyone. My position as an admiral was never my goal in the long run, but a quiet place to live is. That's the only future that I have left to accept at this point, and it's the only thing I have left to look forward too. In some small way, Raan, that makes me happy."

Raan was still worried nonetheless. Tali may have had her distant future all planned out, but if Xen would push for a trial, which she very well might, then everything Tali envisioned could possibly derail. An offense for striking a fellow officer would not escalate into such a serious punishment such as exile, but it could wind her up spending a brief stint in the brig or having to forfeit her share of land that she had claimed for herself. Such an event would also bring a fair share of publicity with it as it would pit two of the most well-known quarians in the fleet against one another. The media would hype up the trial, call it an "event," and subtly influence the decision by inflating the repercussions of a potential decision to the nth degree that a verdict might be given in such a manner that could be seen as either pandering to the mob or a display of cowardice from the Board. Either way, no one was going to get out of a trial unscathed, but Raan felt that Tali did not need to be reminded of such matters at this current moment.

Giving up with adding more weight to the sinking ship, Raan just lifted her hands as a sign that she was done and rose to leave Tali by herself. As she opened the thin door, she sadly looked back at Tali one last time.

"It may be hard for you to understand, Tali, but you can't keep mourning someone forever, no matter how much you loved them. We have to find ways to move on, otherwise we'll never be living full lives, a future that Shepard obviously did not want you to have. You still have a life, Tali. Use it, I beg you. I do not want to be burying any more bodies lost to grief than I already have."

"John had a life, so where did it get him?" Tali said angrily. "I couldn't even bury _his_ body, Raan, because there was no body to find. How can I find any sort of closure from that knowing that he still could…be…out…there?"

_Oh…oh…_

"He's gone, Tali," Raan said remorsefully as she edged out the door, abandoning Tali to her cot. She had completely missed that the younger quarian trailed off her thought as Raan had been so engrossed with her own thoughts that the unfinished sentence simply went over her head, sailing away into the air. "I'm sorry, Tali, but Shepard is gone."

Despite her conscience screaming at her to stay, Raan slowly pushed the door shut, enveloping Tali in shadows. She did not even notice Raan's departure.

* * *

_Tali tapped her toes on the floor while the elevator continued in its maddeningly slow climb up to the final level of the Normandy. Anxiety rushed through her like ice water, which made her practically bouncing with anticipation and worry the longer she stood encased in this infernal box._

_According to EDI, Shepard had just been cleared from the med bay after his long mission concerning the Alpha Relay but strangely, he had been unusually silent and summarily locked himself in his room. This was all after she had just been notified that an Alliance admiral had been aboard for a personal debriefing, which sent alarm signals ringing in her head. For Shepard to simply go through all this and not come to her later to talk was strange, which practically screamed at her that something was terribly wrong. It had felt wrong in the very beginning when she had not even been permitted to visit him in the med bay. Something about recovering from an arduous ordeal. That was unusual, Shepard always shook off trivial wounds like gunshots and blows to the head like they were puffs of wind. He was reported at not being physically damaged, so what would prompt him to be bedridden for such a long period of time? _

_It was also unusual that the drive core had exerted a large amount of energy when Shepard had just boarded the ship days ago, which also told Tali that the Normandy had been traveling at full speed for a short while, as if it had been running away from something. From what, she couldn't say, but Shepard always opened up to her, no matter the topic. Maybe he could shed some light on the situation now._

_The elevator chimed and the doors finally opened. Tali zoomed out of the shaft and into the captain's quarters, which never ceased to amaze her at just how much personal space Shepard actually got to himself, when twenty quarians could have been properly housed in a space the exact dimensions as this one. She took a quick glance at the desk and saw that Shepard was not sitting at it, but the room did not offer many places to hide which meant that Tali was able to find Shepard quite easily._

_He was sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the bed, his gaze plastered to the blank wall. Tali could not see his face, but his slumped posture indicated that he was either sleeping or deeply disturbed by something. To her worry, a glass of amber liquid was sitting next to his body but it looked to be untouched. Shepard probably just poured it and promptly (or deliberately) forgot about it._

_Wringing her hands together, Tali stepped down the small staircase and gently moved the glass out of the way so that she could sit down beside him. She still could not see his face, but the minute movements of his body told her that he was still awake. She didn't know if he wanted to talk or not, but the fact that he hadn't said anything yet told her that he was not in a conversing mood._

_What had gone on down there? Did he experience something so terrible that he didn't know how to describe it to anyone? Was it shame, regret, or fear? Did he think that she could not understand what he had to do? But what would he have done that could have made him act in such a standoffish way?_

_Tali bit her lip. Such matters could be taken care of later. Right now making Shepard at least verbally communicate would be her first goal for tonight. He still had not made any indication that he knew she was sitting next to him, to be honest._

_With a tired smile, Tali gently slipped her lesser-fingered hand into his own and squeezed in in reassurance. Her heart skipped a beat when she got a return squeeze back. Perhaps words did not matter anyway, this felt right. This felt real._

_Their hands still clenched between them, Tali adjusted herself that she was now leaning against the bed. She let her legs stretch out a bit and softly sighed. It actually felt very good just to be sitting here, with Shepard at her side. His touch upon her hand was all she needed to know that everything was going to be all right. _

_It was restlessness on Tali's part that she began to desire a little more after a few more silent minutes from Shepard. She was starting to get a little antsy after all that had been communicated between them tonight was a hand squeeze. At the very least Tali felt that she could look at Shepard's face and help assuage him however she could. That was not much to ask, was it?_

_The sound of liquid, however, was the thing that broke the spell of stillness. Tali heard a steady dripping noise and looked down to see where it came from. In the dim lighting, she could see the back of Shepard's hand shining. With what she couldn't say, but it looked like it had been dipped in fluid, which was odd because she felt that she would have noticed that right at the outset if Shepard's hand had been damp. Confusion beginning to pile on, she slowly wriggled her hand away from Shepard and brought it up so that the light from the lamp could better help her see. In an instant, Tali's chest turned to ice and her breath lodged painfully in her throat._

_Blood. Blood was shimmering on her glove, making lines that intersected like highways as gravity pulled them downward. Panicked, Tali looked down and saw that Shepard's bare hand was bright red, like he had dipped it into a bucket of crimson paint. Sharply inhaling, Tali was in the process of recoiling in horror when Shepard abruptly turned his head, giving her the second scare of the night._

_The human's entire face was completely coated with blood. It ran down his cheeks and dripped onto his shirt, staining it. Tali frantically searched Shepard for any sign of a wound, too startled to make a noise, when she finally realized that the human's eyes were missing. Instead of those bright blue orbs Tali had admired for as long as she'd known him, they were now dark pits that were now oozing an alarming amount of blood from their depths. His face was so gore-stained that it was beginning to turn black. His tongue was poking out from his mouth, discolored and swollen. He looked like a corpse._

_From cracked lips came an urgent wheeze, "Tali…help me…"_

_Tali could only stare in shock, rooted to the spot. A pitiful noise emanated from her throat, the onset of hysteria._

_Unable to see and hearing nothing in return, Shepard lifted his bloody hands and grabbed Tali by the shoulders hard, leaving red streaks on her suit. "Help me, Tali. Help me!"_

* * *

"_AAH!_" Tali screamed as she jolted upright in her cot. Blasts of stars exploded in her vision and nausea smashed into her like a hammer. With a rasping intake of breath, Tali let it all out in a stream of quiet sobs while she placed a hand over her heart, feeling the beating thump against her ribs almost as if someone was pummeling her at this very moment.

It only took a brief moment to confirm that she was not on the _Normandy_ anymore, nor was Shepard right beside her. She was back in her dilapidated excuse for a home on Rannoch, which was not that much better, all things considered. Still, it did not keep her from teetering on the cusp of completely bawling her eyes out at the moment. It was just too much that even Tali could not tell what she was crying for; seeing Shepard so helpless and begging for help, or that he was never there to begin with.

Tali felt sick, like she could throw up at any moment. Her lungs ached from crying, her heart gave a painful throb every alternating beat, and her face was coated with a cold sweat. She began to sniffle, desperately trying to stifle her whimpers and hoped that no one around had heard her cry out from her nightmare.

"Damn…" she muttered, finding the drying of her tears on her face annoying. "Damn it…"

She still could not get that image of an eyeless Shepard out of her head. Tali felt a lump travel up her throat and lodge there, teetering on the edge of being violently sick. Deep breaths, she told herself, just breathe deeply. The time on her chronometer told her it was the middle of the night, but sleeping was a lost cause at this point, especially after vividly seeing the mutilated body of her lover scream out in terror, which would scare anyone half to death.

Shepard was crying for help in her dream, so what did that mean? She had not once ever experienced that particular encounter before, not in such an extreme manner. Why would he beg to her, and for that matter, would this madness ever end?

How could she ever hope to let go when her subconscious held a death grip on her very soul?

There was nothing in her house for her to draw solutions from, but Tali knew where she could start to look. Taking a few more deep breaths followed by a wet gulp, Tali willed her limbs to stop shaking so that she could walk off her discomfort. Gingerly getting off of her cot, she rubbed her arms to get rid of the chill that begun to creep up and down her spine before she opened her flimsy door and walked outside into the night.

The temperature was cool at this time but it had little effect on Tali. There was a distinct lack of noise from the settlement as most quarians were asleep by now. Tali did not even notice that she was breathing heavily on her own while she walked across the compound, towards one of the three shuttles that sat housed in the inner perimeter.

A guard stood in front of the access ramp but allowed Tali access to the shuttle without a word of protest. Guess her status as admiral had not been called into question yet, so that was something to be thankful for. Once inside, Tali sat down at the communications console and opened the extranet link. The shuttles were the only facilities in the settlement that possessed both a connection to the extranet as well as a quantum entanglement device. She had all of the processing power on Rannoch at her fingertips, ready to access the knowledge of the galaxy. With a few taps of the holographic keys, Tali logged in and awaited the flash of the window that signified a good connection.

The first thing she spotted in the notifications panel right after she had used her unique identification code, was that there were several alerts that signified several separate attempts to contact her personal gateway. Being that Rannoch was limited with its connection to the rest of the galaxy, being relatively dark in a technological sense was not all that uncommon, but Tali still felt enormously guilty nonetheless when she saw that all of the missed calls came from Garrus.

That brought yet another stab to her. It had been a long time since she had talked to anyone from the old crew and here was evidence that someone had been trying to get in contact with her, but she had never even noticed. Did everyone think that she was being selfish by not communicating?

All that had to be disregarded right now as such thoughts could only bring more hurt to her. She couldn't get this itch out of her head and she needed to do something to alleviate it somewhat. With a flick of the cursor, the display quickly responded to Tali's query. News articles galore covering the immediate investigation of the Citadel popped out in an enormous list, ranging from well-respected media outlets to opportunistic tabloids. Tali quickly filtered out the rubbish and selected an article at the top that looked promising.

In big bold letters, the phrase "_VICTORY!_" jumped out at Tali, the garishness being forgiven seeing as the topic in question was celebrating the end of a long-winded war. Quickly, Tali scanned the article, sifting through it to find any mention of Shepard. Sure enough, just like she predicted, there were several paragraphs commending the human commander for his achievements and sacrifices, but there was nothing mentioning the subsequent search of the station afterward. Nothing to see there.

The next article yielded the same results, as did the next one, and the one after that. It then occurred to Tali that she was looking at articles that were too old to have properly covered the initial reinsertion of rescue crews on board the Citadel. She then put in a filter to only show documents printed after a certain date and let the search function work again.

She got luckier this time. One of the next articles was a bit more subdued with the title of, "_Admiral David Anderson Gets a Hero's Funeral_," rather than using sensationalist words to drum up audience interest in favor of adding more subscribers. The feature was hardly a gold mine, but it was intriguing nonetheless.

The picture showing the piece off depicted a gaggle of mourners huddled on top a grassy knoll in the city of London, ostensibly the spot where Admiral Anderson was buried, from the point-of-view of the photographer. Admiral Anderson was a very private person in real life, but from the hundred or so people grouped around the graveyard, one would think he was the life of the party.

Tali read through the article several times but found nothing particularly groundbreaking. However, that was in of itself, rather revealing. Tali stared at the screen for minutes on end, pondering the implications over and over in her head. She began thinking so hard for so long that the beginnings of a headache were gradually creeping up on her, causing her to almost miss an important line.

"…_David Anderson, 49, had been located by rescue workers mere weeks after the end of the war. The Admiral had successfully led the assault on the Citadel beam, where both him and Commander John Shepard infiltrated the station and summarily ended the war. He was buried with full honors in London._"

_Admiral Anderson was found on the Citadel, which is also where John was, _Tali realized._ They found the admiral…but they never found John. How…how could they find one but not the other if both of them had gone to the same location? It doesn't make sense, John would have never left Anderson, alive or dead._

She felt stupid for never having connected the dots before. Rejuvenated, Tali eagerly scoured the page again but failed to come up with any more substantial clues after ten minutes of hard reading. The article was maddeningly unhelpful with the finer details, it turned out. For one, it never stated exactly where Anderson's body had been found on the Citadel, just that it was somewhere on the station. That itself simply raised further questions. For instance, there were several eyewitnesses that had testified to seeing both the admiral and Shepard entering the beam during the battle on Earth. Logic would then lead to the conclusion that both Shepard and Anderson should have met up at some point. Yet, only Anderson's body had been found, but not Shepard's.

Tali was hardly daring to believe it. The proof seemed flimsy at best. From her hours of article scouring, she had found no irrefutable evidence that seemed to support her hypothesis, but there was nothing that sufficiently disproved it either. It was the entire lack of proof that was confusing, however. Tali knew beyond a reasonable doubt that there was more to this story, perhaps accounts from the rescue workers that found Admiral Anderson that explored their findings in greater detail. Everything gleaned from that operation seemed a bit too light, too trimmed down.

There had to be more to the story.

Tali tapped her fingers on the desk while she rested her head on her hand. She was never going to find out more by simply sitting at a desk and going through every single news column for days on end. If she wanted proof, she was going to have to look somewhere else, perhaps ask someone who was in a better position to know more than she could at this point.

Maybe now was a good time to return one of those calls.

"Now I'm just going crazy," Tali muttered, but she began to punch in the address anyway, setting up the quantum link. Perhaps if she could acquire solid proof that Shepard was dead, maybe then she could finally begin the prospect of healing her wounds.

But…if the opposite were true, Tali swore that she would rip open her scars to the bone if that was what it took to find him. Right now, she could not even hope to dream that optimistically for it agonized her so much to even envision Shepard in pain.

She could not afford to go through that again. She needed answers _now_.

* * *

**A/N: Saturday morning, Friday night...makes no difference. Call me impatient, but I hate sitting for long periods of time when I have completed chapters under my belt. The announcement of Mass Effect: Andromeda also has gotten me pumped as well, but it will be a while before stories from that game will be fleshed out properly.  
**

**Now, the seed has been planted, but how far will our favorite quarian be willing to go to get what she wants? **

**So, how is everyone enjoying this? This story may be slow in the beginning, but I've been trying to measure my pacing lately so that I don't jump the gun and make it so that everyone doesn't get fatigued by the sheer amount of chapters or content. I hope this strategy works out.**

**As always, please read and review. Feedback of any sort is actually very important to me and it helps motivate me to do my best, even on the rough days. Let's be honest, we've all been there.**

**Special thanks go to reader lunchmeat5000 for pointing out that the celestial body I named in the last chapter (NGC 1433) was not a made up designation as I had hoped, but actually an unnamed galaxy quite a ways away from our own. Of course, the math and the technological limitations of the ME universe helped reinforce that the use of such a designation in the manner that I described was dubious (as no one can currently travel to another galaxy...yet), so I changed the name to a more local (and real) body, Cygnus X-3, which has replaced all mentions of NGC 1433 to make the chapter a bit more scientifically accurate. **

**Heh, so much for that A in that Astronomy course all those years ago...**


	5. Chapter 4: Grand Theft Spaceship

The blaring of the alarm sounded like the end of the world to Garrus. He imagined raid sirens, distant explosions, and that all-to-familiar sound of a gigantic horn roaring in the distance based on the vibrating that was currently occurring in his ear canals. Sitting up abruptly in his bed, the turian made a noise that sounded like a cross between an awkward squawk and a gargle as he was unceremoniously roused from his rest.

The actual chime of his communications console at his desk was nothing more than a soft beep actually, which made Garrus feel all the more foolish when he had a few seconds to compose himself. With a self-depreciating laugh to combat his nervous and erratic intake of breath, he shook his head and groaned as he swung his feet out of his bed. Garrus fumbled with his fingers in the dark for a shirt draped over the side of the cot and clumsily began to button it, having spent the night in nothing but his skivvies.

The officers' barracks, despite them being called such, were not all that bad in Garrus' eyes. His job assignment naturally required him to be close by the Primarch which had necessitated his need for housing on Palaven. As such, he had his own room assigned to him, a fact which had initially filled him with dread when the idea was first approached. He still had foul memories of the state of his quarters the last time he had been on duty at a military base. It was the same with every species' military: foul food, hard cots, and little to no amenities. Not much to look forward to overall.

Conversely, what Garrus had been provided was accommodations the size of a standard studio apartment on the Citadel, but much better furnished than what the grunts had to deal with on a regular basis. His bed was made of hardwood, not metal, and actually supplied with a mattress instead of whatever spikey plank the army could scrounge up for cheap. The floor was carpeted, not luxuriously, but carpets were still a rarity to him. The icing on the cake, however, was the all-access console that took up his entire desk, positioned next to his bed. Extranet, QED streaming, anything that could help him improve as an advisor was all provided for his convenience, no expense spared.

It was this console that was softly indicating (as opposed to the blasting he had imagined in his semi-comatose state) that someone was trying to contact him. A rerouted QED link, from the looks the respective icon beaming at him.

Garrus scratched the side of his head, where the majority of his scar tissue resided. A QED link meant that the call was not local, that someone on the other side of the galaxy wished to talk to him at this moment. He checked the time and found that it was still the middle of the night on his end. Figures, if this really was a call from another solar system, it would be hard to accommodate reasonable times to chat given that every single planet had different rotational cycles. Living on solid ground again had just proven to be distracting, at least in space there were no visual cues to indicate day or night despite the risk of running a broken body clock.

The light from the screen cast a blue glow around Garrus' shadowed apartment, a point that he didn't even try to correct by turning on the overhead lamps. The contrast from the screen immediately made his eyes start to ache, though, but he was too lazy to open his omni-tool and fiddle around for the correct app that would switch the rest of the lights on.

It took a couple tries in his drowsy state to push the accept button after a few failed stabs of his pointer finger onto his keyboard. When he finally succeeded in hitting his target, Garrus realized that he had not even checked to see who was calling him at this hour. A thousand snarky phrases flitted through his mind in greeting, each one more scathing than the last as he fought to choose one particular sentence that properly summed up how annoyed he was at being awoken in the middle of the night.

As his feedback camera turned on at the same time his screen switched over to display the person in question, Garrus quickly reversed the direction on his train of thought as a familiar masked face stared back at him, this person also sitting in a dimly lit room. Their posture was rigid, bent forward, but their eyes silently pled for interaction, made all the more obvious by the slight tugging at the fringe of their purple hood that adorned their helmeted head.

Garrus blinked. "T-Tali?" he asked in utter shock. Several questions now ran through his head in lieu of the abandoned cynical quips. It had been months since he'd talked to her, since _anyone_ talked to her for that matter. And all of a sudden, out of the blue, she calls him now? Whatever for? On that point, was this really Tali he was talking to or was this all merely an elaborate ruse? Preying companies lived on tricking customers into paying for stuff by accessing their browsing history so assuming such a thing was not so much a stretch.

The visor gave a singular nod, however. "Yes, Garrus. It's me."

Well, if this was an advertising hoax then it was a damn convincing one. Still a little apprehensive, Garrus could only cough up a few syllables before he spread his arms in amazement. "I…uh…wow. I just…how are you doing, Tali? I haven't talked to you in…well, months."

"I know," Tali said with a tired laugh, her voice occasionally getting a little scratchy from the distortion of the call. "I'm sorry about that, Garrus, but I had a lot of stuff that I had to take care of. I…I guess I should have called you sooner, huh? Am I calling you at a bad time?"

"Uh, no," Garrus said as he fiddled with his shirt somewhat, making it straighter. That of course was a bit of a fib but he was smart enough not to tell the whole truth in front of a friend that he hadn't had the chance to converse with in a long time. No need to delay interaction any more, considering all the time that had transpired without talking between them. As far as Tali was concerned, any time was a good time.

"That's good," Tali said in relief. "To answer your earlier question, I've…I've honestly been better."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Garrus said honestly. "Are things over on Rannoch going relatively smooth, though?"

Tali looked up at the ceiling briefly then let out a sigh. "Ask me that again in a few weeks and I'll probably have a definitive answer for you."

Garrus didn't know what that meant and at this point he decided that it was probably wise not to inquire further. "Okay…" he backpedaled. "I'm sorry if I'm a little out of it, Tali, but I definitely wasn't expecting you to come calling anytime soon, especially since everyone has also mentioned that they haven't talked to you in a long time. I thought…you know…"

"Who?" Tali inquired as she tilted her head, interested. "Who is 'everyone'?"

"Well…_everyone_, Tali," Garrus said matter-of-factly. "James, Kaidan, Liara, Kasumi, even Wrex, if you can believe it. Hell, just about anyone I run into always inquires on how you're doing, like I'm somehow your spokesperson. At one point, many of us thought that you had run away and gone to live on another world by yourself, for you had dropped off the radar for so long."

"So why didn't you come visit me? I've been on Rannoch the whole time! It's not like I could go anywhere else considering I had my duties as an admiral to consider."

There was no way that she was going to mention her little snafu just last evening, not even to a good friend like Garrus, she had already decided.

"With what ship? I certainly don't have one. Everyone else is either too wrapped up in whatever tour of duty they're on or they just rely on shuttle liners for their transport which are a bit erratic in their destination coverage. It's not like everyone has a _Normandy_ at their disposal and fuel isn't exactly cheap, either. I mean, I'm not poor or anything but I'm not going to blow a huge chunk of my royalties out on a personal transport anytime soon."

"Oh," Tali drooped. "I guess I've been spoiled by serving on that ship for as long as I did."

"Everyone was spoiled, Tali. We had a great crew, a great ship, and a great captain." Garrus said the last point as tenderly as he could but he winced internally as he saw Tali's head slowly sink back down. "Well, we don't need to reminisce on the old days and talk about each other's civilizations in a negative light." He gave her a wink at that in an attempt to perk her up. "What have you been doing lately? I'm only asking so that in case someone else inquires about your status, I have something to give to them that proves that you're alive and well."

Tali gave a light laugh, managing to shake off some of her initial stiffness. "I'm not dead, if that's what they're insinuating. Right now I've been just working – sparring might be a better word - with the rest of the Admiralty Board, trying to manage a blooming quarian colony before everything goes all belly-up due to a lack of resources, which would result in our eventual demise yet again, this time from starvation or some other trivial matter rather than an oppressive machine race bent on our extermination."

She had said all this in such a straight tone that Garrus resisted the urge to burst out in giggles, despite the ludicrousness of it all. His eyes bulged and he scratched at his throat, consciously feeling his head grow hot. "O…Oh," was all he said. "That's…rough."

"We're managing," Tali shrugged. "I'm not worried as much as the other admirals, actually. I don't think we're in danger of dying out anytime soon, but we just don't have any other immediate or civilization-altering problems to deal with at the moment so I think that overblowing our current issues just gives us a sense of urgency to fix them as rapidly as possible. It's a common theme among our race in general. Us quarians are always used to having our backs against the wall. I guess we just work better while under pressure."

"Makes sense. Though I'm sure it wouldn't kill you to take a few steps away from that wall from time to time. Not everything in this universe is out to kill you, you know."

"True, but try telling that to the more cautious members that make up our government. There are no geth trying to kill us, we have a homeworld, but still no one is properly satisfied."

"I'd rather not. I'm not the biggest fan of politicians to begin with even though half my job is having to continually deal with them."

"Neither am I, and I happen to be one of them!" Tali said with a mischievous hint in her voice.

Garrus chuckled. "They'll never break you down, Tali. You're still that fighter I met all those years ago. Just got to stick with it until you know when it's time to quit."

"Thanks, Garrus," Tali beamed, now feeling better than ever. "Keelah, this is nice. I don't think I knew just how badly I needed to talk to someone until now."

"So why haven't you talked with anyone _until_ now?" Garrus asked as he leaned closer to the screen. "Has work really been treating you that rough?"

Tali shuffled her shoulders meekly. "Not…exactly."

"Tali, is something the matter?"

"I…I don't know," Tali said blankly, now growing more distant again. "I'm just confused, Garrus. Something came up and I've been wracking my head trying to comprehend it all. I've was sitting in this chair for hours before I even called you, thinking things over. I don't know anyone else I can talk to about this, but I just wanted to talk to someone otherwise I'd just be a wreck."

"Make sure about _what_?" Garrus was now getting more worried. He desperately wished that he was talking to her in person right now. Video conferences were so damn impersonal that they prevented reassuring physical actions like a simple touch on the shoulder from occurring, even when they were most needed. "What's going on, Tali? Why would you be a wreck at all? You can tell me whatever's bothering you. _Please_."

On the other side of the galaxy, Tali swallowed. It was now or never at this point. The statement sounded more insane to her now that she was at the precipice of giving them voice, but an unsaid word was just as harmful as a spoken one.

"I think that John might be alive, Garrus."

Of all the answers that Garrus had been expecting, this was honestly not one of them. Sure, he privately knew that Tali was still in a bad way from losing Shepard and that it most likely contributed to the self-imposed exile she had enacted upon herself, probably a way for her to emotionally distance herself from everyone without having to fear the pain of loss again. The whole excuse about work was only misdirection, so fragile that he was able to see through it the moment that Tali had uttered it. As soon as this conversation had begun, Garrus predicted that the topic will swing in this direction eventually, and that he would have to witness Tali mourning the loss of the human – a fact only made worse by the lack of any physical contact between both him and the quarian. To expect sadness from the woman and receiving hope instead was…unusual, if not a bit troubling.

Meanwhile, Tali had dropped her morose tone and was now chatting away in excitement. "…I know it sounds crazy, Garrus, but I couldn't help but think about that night – the end of the war, I mean. Look, how is it that Admiral Anderson was found on the Citadel but not John, despite the entire destabilization of the station?"

"Tali…"

"-And everyone knows that there were several ships extensively scouring the wreckage for John's body for weeks afterward but they managed to find nothing. Why is that? He should have been with Anderson, so why wasn't he there with him? Or for that matter, if John had to leave him behind, what could have prompted him to do so?"

"_Tali_…"

"-I mean, it doesn't answer the question of why he hasn't come back after all this time, but there might be other factors that I haven't considered. It's just…I need to know where John is otherwise I'm going to-"

"Tali!" Garrus said loudly. Tali visibly jumped on the screen, torn from her rambling. "I'm sorry, Tali," Garrus sighed, "I'm pained from his loss just like you, but you might need to face facts that Shepard is never coming back. Spirits, Tali, I want him back just as much as you do, but I don't think turning this into a conspiracy is the way to go."

"A conspiracy?" Tali laughed in disbelief before she began shouting. "A…a _conspiracy?!_" She stood up so quickly in fury that she managed to completely upend her chair in a split second. "That's just another way of saying that I've lost it, isn't that right?" she seethed. "Is that what everyone else thinks of me, Garrus? That I've gone crazy from grief?"

"Calm down, Tali," Garrus said, eyes wide with panic. "I was just-"

"Just _what_? Stating the obvious? You know damn well that I've been trapped in this emotionless limbo for a long time now. Don't bother lying to me about that because it's etched all over your face. All I had to do was figure out the correct questions to ask and already I've noticed a change - in myself, I mean. It's far-fetched, I know, but I have a reason to _hope_ again, Garrus, from an idea that maybe my one love could still be out in this galaxy, _alive_. What else am I going to do with my life other than sit around and debate endlessly with my fellow board members? I _hate_ it, I hate this existence, and I hate myself for not doing anything sooner! I should be _out there_, searching for even a scrap of evidence! I should be _looking_ for him until it can be proven without a reasonable doubt where John is! I…I should be at the Citadel. I need to see where they found Anderson…find any clues that might have been missed-"

"Tali, _wait_," Garrus said so forcefully that he managed to break through Tali's spiel. "Please, just _slow down_. I'm not insinuating anything, you have to believe me on that. Of all people, I do know how much Shepard meant to you, Tali, and I _know_ that you have been hurting ever since. He was my best friend and there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss him. I do apologize for the conspiracy comment, though. It was completely the wrong thing to say in that moment and it was unfair to you."

"No," Tali breathed as she began to lower herself back down now. She did not make a move to right her chair but rather situated herself on her knees and laid her arms across the desk. "Oh, Keelah…," she groaned, "I'm a wreck, Garrus, but I can understand the comparison at least, and I should apologize as well for snapping at you when you didn't deserve it. I just needed to vent a little bit but I got carried away and…I'm sorry."

"You call that a little bit?" Garrus retorted playfully.

"I _will_ find a way to punch you through this screen," Tali hefted her fist facetiously. "But you have to realize that I just cannot get this idea out of my head! It's going to eat me up if I don't at least acknowledge it, Garrus. If he's out there, he needs me. I can't ignore this. I can't ignore him, or my love for him. I just _can't_."

"But you do have to accept that there is a chance that Shepard might not be alive as you believe. It would be…the safe thing to do."

"I cannot think that either," Tali shut her eyes and shook her head forcefully. "I can't bring myself to even imagine that. I need to prove it for myself before I can say for a fact that John is indeed gone. I've trusted the words of others and look where that has gotten me. But he _is_ alive, I'm sure of it. He wouldn't leave me alone like this. He would never have done such a thing willingly."

Tali was beginning to get choked up again and her voice was sounding raspier now. She sniffled to clear her throat and became silent for half a minute as she focused on calming herself. Tali was glad that Garrus could not see her expression; she hated crying in front of people. The only time she could do it with company was only when Shepard was with her. Then it would be a relief instead of a crutch. He was the only person she could open up completely to; let all her bottled emotions come flying out in a frenzy and have him take her in a warm embrace in response. Damn her memories.

Garrus bit back a sigh as he scratched at an itching mandible. He checked the time on his omni-tool and found that an hour had already passed. _Time sure flies_, he thought. _But I have her talking at least. This is good for her. Keep it up, she needs this._

"Also," he coughed after he ground his back teeth in anticipation, "I hate to be the continual bearer of bad tidings, but you may want to rethink your plan for going to the Citadel."

"Why is that?" Tali sniffed.

"The section where Admiral Anderson was found has been cordoned off for months. There aren't any additional passageways one could take to reach that specific area and the only entrance is tightly guarded."

"Well, there must be some way to determine what happened there!" Tali huffed, her head rising from indignation.

"Hold on, I'm getting to that," Garrus assured as he simultaneously thought long and hard. "I do know that we, the Turian Hierarchy I mean, were the first to enter the Citadel after the Crucible had fired. Anderson had been found by the turians and each marine is equipped with cameras and all the latest suites of recording software. The entire excursion would have been well documented. I bet there are _terabytes_ of data from that mission alone that can be examined."

"Great," Tali clapped her hands once. "Where can I access these recordings?"

"You can't," Garrus said, already visualizing Tali's face falling at his words. "The video files are still classified, from what I understand. They won't become part of the public record until sometime in the next century."

"That's no good!" Tali pounded on the desk with her fist. "If you think I'm going to wait that long-"

"Wait, wait!" Garrus held up his hands, getting alarmed from Tali's fiery temper. "There is a solution, though. All of the files are stored on a database at a military installation at the capital city on Palaven. As an advisor to the Primarch, I have the necessary security clearance to view these files, although obtaining access for them is another story."

"How so?"

"They don't just let anyone enter the Hierarchy's archives, you have to understand. They have clerks for that kind of stuff but if the material that is being requested is too sensitive for their own agents, or is of a medium that cannot be physically moved, you have to file a formal request for access to the archives."

"And how long does that process take?"

"Anywhere from a week to a few months."

Tali barked out a laugh that perfectly echoed her attitude at the moment. "I can't even wait _that_ long, Garrus," she said amidst manic giggles.

"I can't do any more than that," Garrus defended. "I'm going to do my damnedest to help you with this, Tali, but you're just going to have to be patient with the process over here. No one's going to prevent you from figuring this out, that I promise you."

Tali gave a nod and slowed her breathing as she held a hand to her chest, pressing down so hard she could feel the individual bones of her ribcage. _That is still unacceptable_. "I guess I have no choice," she said instead. "In any case, thank you, Garrus. This means a lot to me."

"It's no trouble. Anything for a friend, right?"

Tali gazed into the screen and gave a slow blink. "Right," she whispered before she mumbled something unintelligible and tapped something out on her keyboard. Abruptly, Garrus' screen fizzled and went out, an icon with a sad face on it quickly popped up in exchange, indicating that the connection had been deliberately broken by the user on the other end.

A last-minute reply dying in his throat, Garrus slumped into his chair and began tapping his fingers against the armrests, curious as to why such an impromptu ending had been thrown over their conversation. _Damn_. _Was it something I said?_

* * *

Tali wasted no time in ferrying herself over to a different section of the shuttle after she had cut the call. Getting back to her feet, she made sure to put her chair back upright at least before she headed over to check the side of the shuttle, where the access ramp was located. With no hesitation, she depressed a button at the side of the door and the light adorning the top quickly flashed red, indicating a locked seal. Air hissed out as the rubber lining pressurized the interior of the threshold, folding tightly upon the door for a snug fit.

With that being done, Tali sidled past the table and assorted crates scattered around the main hold of the shuttle in order to reach the cockpit area. She made herself as comfortable as she could in the pilot's chair by stretching her limbs out a bit before she got to work.

"I can't wait even one more _second_," she muttered to herself. "I won't. Not now. Not _ever_."

Punctuating her determined statement, Tali surged her hands forward and initiated the startup sequence as the holographic console flared to life before her eyes. The yacht-sized shuttle was not of quarian design but it featured the same universal software that powered most ships today. Much like the majority of quarian-owned ships, though, there had been some trouble with regards to changing the registry information for the shuttles and thus the name of _Ania_ just had to be accepted, despite the foreign human designation. Tali thought back to her simulations running such craft during her Pilgrimage training, realizing that it had been some time that she had ever flown a vessel, real or virtual. For a brief moment, she had the idea that she was making a very big mistake, one that she should walk away from right now, if she had any thread of common sense.

"Screw it," she seethed and swiped her hand along the console. With a shuddering noise, the bottom thrusters of the _Ania_ flared to life, already causing it to rise above the ground a few inches. _Okay, this feels familiar_. The knowledge on how to operate the controls was coming back to her a bit at a time, which was reassuring at the very least. Realistically, Tali still could have stopped herself from continuing, but her mindset had tipped her over that edge for good at this point.

Almost immediately, the communications indicator was bombarded with requests from Rannoch ground control, loudly blaring for clearance. Ladar sweeps from the fleet above Rannoch had most likely picked up the infrared signatures emanating from the ground which would have corresponded with none other than an engine ignition. Obviously Tali had no clearance to offer them so she simply muted the volume, ridding the shuttle of excess noise. She imagined that the guard posted outside was probably panicking at the sight of the shuttle preparing to leave, conflicted as to why the vessel would be taking off without him knowing about it first. The ground controllers were most likely baffled as well in the protocol breaches from her side. In the end, how everyone else reacted did not matter, and Tali ignited the main engines shortly after she programmed in her preset coordinates, sending the _Ania_ screaming towards the black void with a great fury and a sudden _boom_.

The acceleration dampeners on the shuttle were on the fritz, unfortunately, and Tali would be occasionally bombarded by bursts of heavy weight on her torso as she climbed higher. A side effect from the shuttle's age, perhaps. She clutched at the armrests and closed her eyes while the ship seemed to be rattling itself to pieces around her. Through her shut lids, she imagined herself riding a crimson rocket across the sky, a trail of smoke and flame roaring behind her. Clenching her teeth, the noise from the rattling cockpit was so intense she was unaware that she had started to yell out, adrenaline surging through her veins.

The chair had not been designed for quarians and as a result, Tali's legs were pressed rather painfully against the chair. Apparently the manufacturer had not been inclined to accommodate digitigrade-legged beings in the operation of its vessel. A random thought of the entire position came to Tali as if she was the victim of subtle racism in that regard, but she conceded that it was only the result of the company making decisions on a budget. Apparently she got the shaft on this one.

It then occurred to Tali that she was thinking about a _chair_ while she was zooming higher and higher into the atmosphere within a shuttle held together by cheap sealant. If she were anywhere else, she might have laughed at the odd timing of it all. She did not laugh.

Still the unbearably precarious situation dragged on. It felt to Tali like her organs were being liquefied against her spine for there were so many gees being exerted on her. Her eyes rattled in her sockets and she felt a queasiness come over. Just when she thought her body was about to call it quits, the horrid shaking suddenly ceased and the acceleration dampeners somewhat ironically decided to turn themselves back on, a bit too late seeing as the _Ania_ had already reached the gravity-deprived reaches of space, free from the punishment that the planet exerted on it.

Her body hurt all over, but a strong tingling quickly replaced it, like all of her muscles had just been spared from a torturous massage session. Tali grunted as she placed a hand on her gut, finding the soft spot to be a little more tender than normal. At least she had not thrown up; Tali was not keen on cleaning out her visor, especially in an unclean vessel such as this. She sighed in relief and slumped in her chair, grateful to be alive.

Now that she had a quiet moment, Tali was now aware that her omni-tool was pinging softly, in lieu of the shuttle's communicator. Somehow knowing who it was, she braced herself and linked the transmission to the ship's hologram projector. A ghostly quarian fizzled to life, a foot tall above the console, and crossed her arms disapprovingly as she stared somberly at Tali.

"Auntie Raan," Tali said flatly. "I was wondering if you would call before I left."

The holographic Raan did not seem amused in the slightest. "I would then presume that it was indeed you who was responsible for that ghastly show of a shuttle rocketing out of the compound at such a ludicrous speed?"

"Yes it was," Tali said a bit too enthusiastically for Raan's taste. "That was all my doing."

"You nearly frightened everyone to death with that disastrous showing when you deliberately engaged the sublight drive within Rannoch's own atmosphere! Not to mention that you were in the compound when you decided to pull that little stunt which temporarily deafened several people! Ancestors, Tali, what has come over you?"

It was too late to appear contrite. Metaphorically speaking, there were other fish to fry. "Something came up," Tali said simply. "Something that I could not ignore. I'm sorry for the panic I've caused, Raan, but I needed a transport for where I'm going so I decided to requisition one of my own accord. Besides, I'm an admiral of the fleet - for the time being - and I-"

"Not anymore you're not."

Tali was nonplussed. "Wait…what?"

Raan rolled her eyes and sighed. "I mean, you're not an admiral anymore. Based on the fact that you deliberately stole a shuttle that was in no way yours to take and that your military career was already in jeopardy from your altercation with Xen just yesterday, the remaining members of the Board unanimously voted to suspend your admiralty pending an investigation."

"That was certainly quick of you," Tali snapped, more aggravated than upset. "Funny how you can make such a decision like that in a heartbeat but you can't agree on resource partitioning without dragging such a debate out for days on end."

"This is not a joke, Tali," Raan bit back. "You're only digging a deeper hole for yourself the further you go with this."

"And what are you going to do to me if I don't comply? Order the fleet to blow this shuttle to smithereens?" That was a bit of a reach, seeing as Tali had already bypassed the quarian fleet at this point and had left them far behind, well out of missile range. Not to mention the fact that it would take a lot to pressure the fleet into actively firing on one of their own ships. Such resources were valuable these days. "That seems a bit extreme for you, Raan. What happened to simply exiling me like you used to threaten in the old days? It was a much simpler time back then."

If Tali even knew how much she was frustrating Raan at the moment, she would have found this entire series of events to be more comical than it already seemed to be. Right now, Raan seemed to be on the verge of yanking her ceremonial hood off her head from sheer agitation. "Tali," she fought to speak in an even voice, "this is your last warning. If you do not turn that shuttle around this instant, I will have no choice but to take steps to correct your foolishness. You know that your actions in no way earn you a termination sentence, but your list of conflicts with the Migrant Fleet are too serious for us to let you simply slip away into exile. Xen has now confirmed that she wishes to bring legal action against you, now that you have forced her hand with this ridiculous performance, and that means that we will have to utilize force, if necessary, in order to bring you back to Rannoch. Save us the trouble, Tali, and turn around. For the last time, and from the bottom of my heart, come home, Tali. Please, come home."

Tali's hand hovered over the ship's throttle. The purple glow from the system's mass relay was now in sight. Just another minute more and she would make it. She glanced out the slanted canopy and back to Raan, who still had her arms crossed, waiting for an answer.

Tali glared at the hologram, imagining her gaze extinguishing the transmission in a flurry of sparks before she opened her mouth. "I _am_ going home," she replied. "I have no home without John and so that's where I'm going. I never expected you to understand anyway, Raan."

"Tali, wait-," Raan started to say but Tali slammed her hand down on the disconnect button at the same time she increased the throttle to full. She watched the ghostly quarian wink out while the stars began to streak by at an increased rate. Tali gently angled the shuttle's approach ninety degrees and began traveling along the relay's edge, skimming the edge of the exposed mass reactor.

There was a brief flash of blue lightning followed by a subtle shutter, and then the shuttle shot forward, entering the trans-dimensional realm and blinking out of existence entirely.

* * *

Raan was fuming as she marched down the streets of Camp Three. Her boots squished through the mud forcefully but she hardly noticed the muck clinging to them as she splashed crud everywhere. Her thoughts were on Tali and that determined nature of hers. That woman was just like her father, stubborn and headstrong.

_That petulant child! What was she thinking by doing this? What could make her leave Rannoch at such a critical time?_

She mulled over the possibilities repeatedly as she hung a left and walked down a residential alley. Raan was concentrating so hard that when she glanced over to check the number of the house she was looking for, she realized that she had already stomped right past it. With a curt turn of her heel, Raan quickly walked in the other direction and paid more attention to the sign numbers and approached the shack in question that she was looking for.

She raised a fist and knocked on the flimsy door, just to be polite. It opened in seconds but to Raan's surprise, a child barely taller than her waist, answered the door. She was wearing a forest green suit and looked up at Raan in astonishment, never having seen an admiral up close before. The suit was a little big on the child, judging how it sagged in some places, which was perfectly normal as quarian children were always given suits too large for their size so that they would not have to change as much when growing up. In a few years, perhaps this young one would make that very exchange once they had grown up a bit more.

"Hello, little one," Raan greeted warmly. "Is your father around?"

The child shook her head timidly, still dumbstruck.

"Do you know when he will be back?" Raan tried again, still speaking softly.

A shrug was given this time. Raan could not even be mad at the child's social anxiety. Every quarian went through the phase and this one was simply adjusting to speaking with anyone other than her parents. No big deal, Raan could always come back later. It was only a formality that she had decided to come to this place in person anyway. There were certainly other ways of communication available to her that-

"Admiral?" a voice came from behind her.

Raan straightened and turned around. Commander Paav'Inera and a female, presumably his wife, were walking toward the house carrying jugs of water in their arms. The child then bolted from the house and ran up to her mother, clutching her around the waist. Both parents chuckled at that while Raan also gave a smile.

"Ah, Commander," Raan said. "I was just looking for you, actually. If this is a bad time, I can always come back."

"Um…no," Paav shrugged as he set his water containers on the ground. "Now's a good time." He then knelt down and put his hands on his daughter's shoulders. "Hey," he told her, "do you want to be a good girl and help your mother out with getting us some dinner?"

The child bobbed her head enthusiastically and Paav laughed. "That's my girl," he said encouragingly. To his wife he patted her back softly, "You go on ahead. I'll catch up in a few."

"Take all the time you need," his wife said while she too put her water jugs down before she gave Raan a courteous nod. "Admiral."

Raan returned the gesture and watched the mother and daughter depart. Paav dusted his hands off and gestured towards the water his wife left behind. "Do you mind giving me a hand, Admiral?"

"Not at all," Raan said as she grasped two containers by the handles. Paav hefted his share and swung open the door to his house. He set his water over in the far corner and Raan did the same. Straightening up, Raan looked back outside appreciatively. "She's gotten bigger from the last time I saw her."

"Who?"

"Your daughter."

"Oh, right," Paav said with a laugh as he closed the door. He gestured to the singular chair at his desk while he sat down on his cot. "Make yourself comfortable, Admiral."

"You don't have to call me that, Commander," Raan said as she obliged the man's request. "I would like this to be as informal as possible between us."

"Only if you call me 'Paav' instead of 'Commander.'"

"Fair enough."

Paav shrugged at that. "So, what can I do for you, Shala?"

Raan tapped her fingers on her legs nervously and glanced from side to side. This shack was not exactly soundproof but she didn't think that there would be anyone listening to her. She had not reached that level of paranoia yet. "I'm assuming that you realize I'm not here for purely a social call."

"I gathered as much. But I am a little puzzled as to why you didn't just contact me over my omni-tool."

"I have an assignment for you, Paav. It's a bit more sensitive than usual and I would like to keep the situation as contained as possible."

Paav crossed his arms. "I see, Shala, but I was under the impression that you allotted an entire month for me to be with my family. I still have a few weeks left of my leave after the last recon mission you assigned to me." He leaned closer to Raan. "It's not like I get to see them that much lately."

"I completely understand that," Raan said apologetically, "and I'm sorry for bringing this onto you but you've been assigned to me for a while now and you're the only person I can trust with such a task."

"I'm very flattered, Shala, but I'm still a bit skeptical as to what such a task could entail."

"Should I keep talking or do you want me to leave?"

Paav was silent for a moment before he graciously extended a hand. "Fine. Tell me what it is that you wish to be done and I'll decide if I want to take the job."

"I'm assuming you've heard about that wayward shuttle that departed the compound early this morning?"

"Hard not to," Paav scoffed. "_Everyone_ heard the racket coming from there. Woke me and my wife up but my kid slept like a log, believe it or not. There were many grumbles about the noise, even in this neighborhood. Does that event pertain to whatever assignment you have in mind for me?"

Raan nodded. "Yes it does. That shuttle was taken without permission and just departed the system an hour ago. I want you to retrieve the person who stole it."

"I'm assuming by 'retrieve' you want this person alive, right?"

"By no means do I want this person dead," Raan said urgently. "It is imperative that she remain alive and unharmed as I cannot abide her getting hurt over something so trivial. This person means a lot to me, you can understand."

"Exactly whom are we talking about here? Who stole the shuttle?"

Raan took a small gulp. "Tali'Zorah."

Paav sat up straighter, more interested. "_Admiral_ Tali'Zorah? I just bumped into her the other day."

"Technically her admiral status was just revoked, but yes. She's the one I want you to retrieve."

"Huh," Paav mused as he looked off to the side. This definitely made the situation much more intriguing. "And her admiralty was revoked simply because she stole a shuttle? That seems a little harsh to lay on her like that."

Raan was playing with her fingers now, obviously uncomfortable. "It's not that simple, Paav. Tali struck Admiral Xen the other day and an investigation was pending regarding her position. She was goaded into it, of course, but this string of recent abnormalities is going to make it hard to create a defense for her. Discharging her was the best thing we could do to her at that point, actually."

"I heard a rumor about that, but I assumed that everyone was blowing a minor argument between admirals out of proportion," Paav said in surprise before he took a moment to think deeply. "Arresting Tali'Zorah is not going to be easy, seeing as she has garnered tremendous support among the civilian population for her involvement in the war. Not to mention that the public opinion of her across the galaxy is extremely high. It's hard to bring in a war hero, Shala, and it's not going to be pretty in any way."

"I know. This decision is not going to be popular, but it's the only one that I can come up with, considering the alternatives."

"What did she even do that would provoke such a crazy act in the first place? Was it to avoid the investigation entirely?"

"If I knew, I would tell you," Raan sighed. "I don't think she would leave for a dishonorable reason such as that. If you recall, Tali once returned to the fleet when we brought her to trial with only circumstantial evidence against her. She's too loyal to the fleet to back out now, but before she entered the relay system, she mentioned something about 'having no home without John' and that I would not understand her reasoning. By 'John' I'm assuming she's referring to Commander Shepard, with whom she had an…intimate relationship in the past."

"I'm aware of her relationship with the Commander," Paav said. "It was highly documented near the end of the war. It sounds to me that the reason she left was primarily emotion-based, which means that what she thinks she's doing is somehow the correct path. It's going to be hard to convince her to come back willingly, if her sense of right and wrong is indeed compromised."

"Nevertheless," Raan persisted, "I would like you to try. I don't want to Tali to get hurt while out there and she's facing enough trouble as it is. This is a woman who has been dangerously on edge ever since the loss of Shepard. I'm concerned that grief has fueled her imagination into acting erratically. I want you to get to her first before something else does."

Paav put a hand thoughtfully on the chin of his helmet. "I don't know, Shala. That seems like an awful lot to tear me away from my leave. Not to mention if word of this gets out, I could become the most hated man on Rannoch. My family could get death threats."

"I know, and I assure you that what we discussed here in your house will stay here. I will not share this with my colleagues in any way, but I do sympathize with your concerns which is why I'm prepared to make you an offer."

Paav raised an eyebrow hidden underneath his visor. "Go on."

"Regardless of how the mission is completed, if Tali is brought back alive…or dead," she took a deep breath, "hopefully the latter of which does not come to fruition, I will raise the birth limit on your family so that you may have another child like you always wanted."

This was not what Paav had been expecting. "Wha-," he stammered. "You…you'd actually do that?"

"I know how badly you always wanted a son, Paav, and one more child is not going to do much to the amount of resources we already have. This will be an opportunity to extend the line of Inera, and we can use our gene therapy techniques to influence the gender of your unborn child and make it whatever you wish it to be."

"You would really give me permission to do that? To temporarily rescind the one child limit for me?"

"That's not all," Raan said proudly. "I would imagine that raising two children in such cramped conditions will put such a strain on you as a father, which is why I will transfer you over to the military compound's accommodations, where you will have more space, your own personal food stores, and a relatively quieter atmosphere for rearing your children rather than this cramped neighborhood."

"_Keelah_," Paav muttered.

Raan tented her hands as the quarian commander seemed to be at a loss for words. "I understand this must be a difficult decision for you, Paav, but I would like an answer from you right now. I'm not trying to be pushy, but time is of the essence in this case. Tali must come back as soon as possible or I fear that she will be in terrible danger otherwise."

"No, I understand perfectly," Paav said as he sat up. Dusting his hands, he stood up, his black visor barely concealing the glint from his determined eyes. The gaze of a warrior. "You can count on me, Shala."

* * *

**A/N: And now the adventure begins. Say goodbye to Rannoch and hello to whatever comes next!**

**As long as I don't get distracted by _The Witcher 3_ or _Ori and the Blind Forest_ this coming week, I should meet my set schedule on time. On that note, due to me being a clumsy idiot, the posting schedule for future chapters might be disrupted in a few weeks as I need to get surgery on my knee (yay...) On the bright side, since that will effectively put me out of commission for a good while, I'll have plenty of time afterward to work on this story while I recover.  
**

**But for now, the fun's only beginning. We're only about a quarter of the way through the story so there's still a lot of crap to throw at our main heroine. If you think I'm going to go easy on her, ooooh boy, are you mistaken.**


	6. Chapter 5: Black Hat

Palaven

Tali swept the beam of her flashlight from her omni-tool across the channel of the sewer that drained into the cistern behind her. She ducked into the narrow opening of the pipe that protruded out from the cliff wall, protecting herself from the sheets of rain that were pouring down outside. The impacts of the drops upon the lake sounded like a thousand people snapping their fingers at once, masking all other sounds in the area. As Tali shook her gloves free of condensation, she made sure to watch her step on the algae-infested bottom of the pipe as she proceeded forward, careful not to slip and fall.

Almost immediately, a metal grating barred her path in the pipe, preventing her from continuing into the sewer further. Tali tested the resilience of the barrier by grabbing the metal grate and pulling on it a couple times. She was not so concerned about that fact but more about the electronic wires that fastened themselves around the spots where the grate had been nailed into the structure itself. The barrier was wired to detect any foreign entry and this alone would prevent the average burglar from attempting to sneak into this site. Fortunately, Tali was not an average burglar.

Her omni-tool was equipped to detect electrical signals passed through both the air and wires, so this development did not concern her in the very least. Tali reached into her pocket and retrieved what she called an "intruder," which was basically a tiny electronic appliance no larger than a pin with a blinking light on top of it, and cautiously inserted it into the nearest wire, breaking the rubber housing. These devices contained a short-range transmitter that allowed people to manipulate energy flows simply though the input of a command, thus facilitating easy "intrusions" into foreign systems. Tali's omni-tool picked up the intruder on the network instantly, just as advertised, and Tali commanded it to send an electrical spike back to its source. On her display, the visualization of the command darkened the other wires that connected the grate, rendering them useless. The intruder also sent back signals to the security installation, however, creating a false trail that all applicable measures were functioning as normal. For the moment, this point of entry was now electronically invisible.

Tali engaged her drone and ordered it to begin cutting into the steel beams, which it did so with gusto upon receiving the command. Focused beams shot from the holographic sphere, creating a mess of sparks as it chewed through one support after another. Less than three minutes later, the grate clanged to the ground, the sheared ends glowing red hot from where they had been cut, and Tali recalled her drone, its task complete.

Soundlessly, Tali stepped over the threshold and moved forward with a purpose.

Despite her carefree attitude and the suddenness of having executed her plan, Tali had encountered a remarkable bit of luck throughout the first stage of her trip. Once she had exited the relay system into the Apien Crest, it had only taken her a couple hours for her to reach Palaven, the turian homeworld and the site of where the information concerning Shepard's disappearance hopefully was, from Garrus' guess. By coincidence, Menae, Palaven's largest moon and communications base, was on the other side of the planet from where Tali entered the system and was thus unable to detect her entry at that point in time. It was also fortuitous that Tali's shuttle was small enough and positioned over a dark spot in the turians' patrols and satellite network (made possible by the Reaper invasion) that she managed to make it down to the surface unnoticed, giving her the entirety of the planet to traverse.

It was an hour more of flight time before Tali would come across the capital city, Cipritini, and skirt the military base on its borders, nearing the archive building just on the other side of a mountain range. There was a canyon that contained a reservoir just a mile outside the base's limits and she was flying low enough to not be detected by radar that she was able to land the shuttle in a patch of shrubs, still undetected.

Tali had considered, during this chain of events, that she had either done everything right to not get detected at this point in time, or that the turians were still trying to patch up their defensive systems that the Reapers had smashed. Not having any immediate answers at the moment, she chose not to dwell on it too much.

What Tali was dwelling on at the moment was what exactly she was going to do when she would break inside the facility, if that was where this sewer line truly was leading. Truthfully, she had no plan on how she was going to achieve that goal, much less get the information she was seeking. Maybe Shepard's habit of "winging it" had rubbed off on her a little too much.

Shining her light on the side of the pipe, Tali spied a plastic tube that ran along the side of the concrete, most likely containing the wires that she had just tapped into a few minutes ago. It would be prudent of her to follow them, so that was what she did. Tali made sure to keep her footing on the dry areas of the sewer so that she would not lose her grip. Despite her high-friction boots, she had befallen that fate once on Feros while traversing a deep and slimy cave, thereby alerting every enemy in the area to the team's presence. She was not keen to repeat that mistake again, but at least this time there would be no one around her to mock her for it in case that eventuality did happen.

Still stomping through the foul liquid, Tali followed the tubing for five more minutes before it abruptly arced up and into the ceiling, out of her sight. There was no need to despair upon that fact because there was a ladder nailed into the wall nearby that went up a chute out of the pipe. Tali looked up at the dark hole just to make sure that it was safe before she hooked her feet around the first rung and began to climb. The gurgling of water grew fainter as she ascended and each metal step creaked slightly as she put her weight on them.

Soon, Tali was lost in darkness as she continued to climb. There was something therapeutic about the lack of interaction, though, as doing only one thing, climbing, in this void gave her peace of mind, a good sense of her goal. She became so engrossed in what she was doing presently that she completely did not expect the end hatch of the tube to suddenly come upon her, causing her to violently bang her head against it.

Muttering an impressive string of Khelish curses to herself, Tali rubbed at the spot on her helmet which had impacted with the hatch where an uncomfortable bump began to throb. After the pain had subsided to a light smolder, Tali gingerly placed her hands on the hatch and, after checking for weight sensors, slowly pushed upward.

With a scraping noise, the cover was pushed aside and Tali was momentarily blinded by a bright white light. She froze mid-action until her visor had adjusted enough to let her see better by dimming the displays. Twisting her head in all directions from the crack in the floor indicated that this hatch led to a room inside the archive building that was completely unoccupied. Another dose of glorious good timing, as it turned out.

Quickly, Tali pushed open the hatch fully and clambered out of the tube. Crouching on all fours, she gently lowered the hatch down so that it would look like no one had opened it recently. Curiously, Tali noted that the lid was made to look exactly like one of the shining black tiles upon the floor which she now stood. She made a note to indicate exactly which one of the tiles the hatch was so that she could return to it later.

The room Tali was in now was some sort of supply closet, containing a few shelves of electronic odds and ends that seemed to be stacked without any semblance of organization. However, Tali spied a panel on the nearby wall behind one of the shelves and after she had shunted away most of the clutter that covered it up, she was able to open it fully by squeezing the lever on top of it.

_It just keeps getting better and better_, Tali thought to her satisfaction.

To the untrained eye, the resulting mess of wires would look nothing more than a hodgepodge of multicolored pasta, but Tali had spent her life surrounded by technology and she had no trouble deciphering what she had just stumbled upon, seeing as there was a schematic plastered onto the other side of the panel that she had just opened, which was rather helpful.

From what she could determine, this access panel was where the security systems from the sewer she had just traversed reunited with the bulk of the main systems of the facility. There was a glowing black box in the middle of the tangled mess where most of the wires converged, indicating that it had to hold some importance with regards to the facility's subroutines. Tali carefully cracked the casing open and inserted another intruder into the white wire, the one _not_ designed to trip every single alarm in the building.

Tali opened her omni-tool and carefully sifted through the data that was now coursing through her display. She kept an eye on her time spent in the system as each moment she lingered increased the chances of her getting caught by the firewalls. Keeping her breath slow and steady, Tali settled for downloading the floor plans of the facility and quickly withdrew the intruder once she had grabbed the files she needed.

The schematics showed that the archives were divided up into three floors, one for the electronic database, the top floor for small physical items, and the basement for oversized items. The database was on the first floor, the one she was on right now so she expanded the map size so that she could get a closer view. From what she could tell, the majority of the floor was comprised of rows and rows of computers, taking up several rooms in total. There were also many terminals located around the floor that permitted access to the turian database, but the majority of these were located in plain sight in the middle of hallways, rendering her quite visible if someone happened to chance upon the row she was currently perusing. She had a workaround for that part but did not want to chance it regardless.

A few quick taps on the map revealed that there was a private terminal in the far corner of the floor that had an entire room designated to it, perfect for her usage. All that Tali needed to do was get over there without being detected.

Before she exited the safety of the closet, Tali activated one last program on her omni-tool that would hopefully cover the final base necessary for her infiltration. Static crackled and Tali soon found herself momentarily awash with a smooth coating, almost liquid in nature, before it completely engulfed her. Tali raised her hand and watched it disappear before her eyes and looked down at her body to find it missing as well.

The active camouflage generator had been a gift from Kasumi, an item the thief had given her in case she wanted to get into a bit of mischief. Now was a chance for that spark to truly shine.

Tali took a second to look over herself one last time, making sure that her ghostly outline was perfect. She found it eerie that she was able to see through herself completely but quickly grew accustomed to the sensation. Taking a deep breath, she clenched her fists tightly and edged through the door before she could hesitate at a crucial moment.

The archives were one long room with a low ceiling, so low that an average krogan would have trouble traversing the area. The profuse stacks of electronics initially disoriented Tali in the fact that they seemed to extend across the room forever. Tali made sure to keep her footsteps silent as she tried her best to pad through the rows. She could see the occasional clerk working at a terminal, made all the more troubling by the fact that they were armed. As quick and quiet as possible, Tali skirted over to the far wall and hung a right, now headed to the far side of the facility.

If someone were to concentrate very hard in their direction, they would be able to see a wavy outline carefully walking through the facility. Most would probably dismiss such a thing as a trick of a light, but the soldiers stationed here would probably be aware of the natures of cloaking devices. Tali still had to be careful, wherever she went, and keep her footsteps masked to minimize detection.

She ignored the flashing lights in her direction, instead choosing to glance down at her invisible body from time to time. The active camo was supposed to last indefinitely but Tali knew better than to put her complete trust in technology. For the moment, everything was working fine so she had no cause to worry, yet.

Eventually creeping up to the door in question, Tali quickly snuck in and locked it behind her. Disengaging her active camo, Tali sat down at the lone console in the private room and moved the cursor, waking the screen.

A pair of queries requesting login info jutted out at her, but Tali was prepared for this. Back when she was on the _Normandy_, on a whim she had hacked Garrus' omni-tool to prove to him just how lax his security standards were, and in the process stumbled across his personal information regarding his work with the Primarch. She recalled with some amusement that Garrus eventually had to pay her in an effort to get her to stop gloating, which only worked for all of two days. The sensitive files she had collected from Garrus she eventually deleted after her point had been proved, his military login and password she did not.

The system accepted the stolen information without hesitation and a file browser popped out at her. For a moment, Tali was overwhelmed by the surge of information flowing out at her. Her eyes frantically scanned the first files on the screen, helpless as she did not know where to start, exactly.

However, Tali shut her eyes and flexed her fingers over the keyboard as she fought to clear her mind for a second. Opening them again, Tali calmly sorted the files in front of her by date and scrolled down until she found a folder that had been created around the time the first fleets had started to return to Earth after the end of the war. That was also when the Citadel was searched by the turians, so this was probably a good place to look. The only item inside the folder was a video file, high quality, long runtime. All made accessible from her stolen password. Thank you, Garrus Vakarian.

Bracing herself, Tali clicked on the file and leaned forward as the screen darkened. A new window opened that momentarily showed just a black box for a split second. Suddenly, a jumble of images blared on the screen in a cacophony of noise that Tali was initially overwhelmed. It seemed like the monitor had developed a bug from playing the file that it took some time for Tali to truly realize what had happened. The screen had split up into six different images, she realized, one for each of the cameras that were positioned on the armor of the rescue workers. She was watching what was happening all at once from each one of their perspectives. The turians had grouped all of the footage together either for convenience or to conserve time sifting through files.

The screens showed the six men disembarking from a Kodiak shuttle on a small alcove. They were only lightly armed and half of them held their pistols in their hands. Most likely just being cautious in an unfamiliar environment. Tali recognized the dark blue and red colors of the turian rescue team and noted that all of their current expressions on the video were grim, as though they were not expecting to find anything of substance here.

She hoped that was not the case.

"_Move on up!_" she heard someone yell on the screen. The rest of the cameras shook horribly as their wearers hustled back into formation, driven forward by their squad leader's shout.

The team hurried into a nearby door and traveled through a maze of corridors, seemingly without purpose. Occasionally on the screen, Tali would glimpse a soldier checking a map out on his omni-tool when he raised his wrist, showing that they were charting new territory the deeper they penetrated the Citadel's inner workings.

The squad leader peered down a fork in the road and glanced right and left before deciding on the rightmost passage. The six men hustled towards a set of double doors, which opened without interaction, revealing a magnificent expanse to them.

From what was depicted, Tali was able to make out a large cavernous area where sparks of electricity occasionally arced out from between moving panels. This was a part of the Citadel that she had never seen before, which only made her wonder how much of this station was still left to explore. After a few more minutes of watching the soldiers meander about, Tali grew impatient and forwarded the footage a bit until an orange glow swept across the lens of each of the workers, whereupon she let the video play.

"_By the spirits_," a soldier muttered. Tali had to agree with him.

The squad was standing atop a platform that overlooked the entirety of the Citadel. The skycar avenues glistened like bright contrails, the buildings perched on the opposite arm shone like a clear day, and the utter silence threw upon the scene an eeriness of which even gave Tali the creeps through the screen. It was almost terrifying looking out into black space itself and seeing the blue outline of Earth create a wondrous shine that enveloped the entire station. And in front of the quiet scene was a lone control panel at the edge of the platform, a body slumped at its base.

Tali took a tiny gasp but relaxed as the cameras thankfully panned over to reveal the peaceful looking expression of Admiral Anderson, his hand clasped over his side and crusted with dried blood. A tickle ran up Tali's spine. Anderson was here, like Garrus had said, but there still was no sign of Shepard to be found anywhere.

One of the turian soldiers looked up at his colleague, his face somber. "_Confirm Admiral Anderson located_."

"_Affirmative_," his partner said. "_Admiral Anderson located_."

The mood was somber amongst the turians and two of them began adjusting the human in a position that would make him easier to transport out. The mantra was true in all species: no one gets left behind.

"_We've got additional DNA_," another turian called, causing everyone to look over in surprise. Tali held her breath as she watched a soldier point out two stains on the steel ground while the others headed over. "_Different coloration and trajectory marks. These might not belong to the admiral. Were others here before?_"

"_No other bodies in sight_," the squad leader said. "_Eyewitness reports place Commander Shepard on the Citadel last and we still have no visual on a body._ _Take a sample of the blood and analyze it_."

A turian knelt down and produced two swabs, which he wiped over the two stains separately. He held them up to his omni-tool and scanned them, making a small noise of surprise once the results were revealed.

"_Well?_" the squad leader pressed. "_Is the blood the admiral's?_"

"_Negative_," the turian breathed. "_We've got two disparate sets here of which none match the admiral's genetic code. There were three people here in total, sir, including the admiral_."

_Was it John?_ Tali silently screamed at the screen. _Was John there? Quit stalling and tell me, you bosh'tet!_

"_We have a match_," the analyst declared after a few more seconds of scouring his screen. "_The first stain belongs to Commander John Shepard. Human-based nucleotides confirmed._"

Tali was leaning forward so close to the screen that her visor was barely scraping the surface, teetering with horrible anticipation and outright astonishment. There was no body yet. It wasn't over until there was a body.

_He was there…just there…_

"_And the second unknown set?_" the squad leader echoed Tali's impatience.

The turian's eyes scrunched up in confusion as he tried to make sense of his readings. "_Seeing some odd stuff here, boss. This discharge has some of the same amino acids found in humans, but the DNA structure is a complete mess. Whole sequences show evidence of extreme tampering, but the genetic code has been scoured free of junk bonds for the most part. This is very much like what one would find in a Reaper-infected husk, sir. Perhaps one followed them up the beam?_"

"_Can you still obtain enough from the blood to get a genetic match?_"

"_Just barely, although the records go back a few decades. Got it right here. Name of our modified friend is…Jack Harper."_

"_The Illusive Man_," Tali and the squad leader in the video said at the same time. In an instant, it all made sense to Tali and she slammed her fist atop the console in fury. That did not help her mood so she did it again. And again. And again until there were two sets of furious indents in the desk. Tali felt her stomach clench tightly and she seethed through her teeth, cradling her gut as she suddenly felt sick.

She continued to watch the video to see if she was missing anything, but the rest of the footage basically confirmed what she now knew. John was not on the Citadel. He was not anywhere near the Citadel.

And neither was the Illusive Man.

"Bastard," she spat to herself. Everything was clicking into place for her. Shepard's disappearance had not been exacerbated from incompetent search parties but from something entirely more sinister. After all, how could a search party find a body when it had been _removed_ from the location they were scouring the whole time?

Tali fumbled the clues in her head as she placed her hands over where her temples were. She knew that Shepard would never knowingly leave her alone, after all that he had said and done, but what if he had no choice in the matter? What if he had been taken against his will after he had completed his duty to the galaxy? It made sense, as the turians never found the body of the Illusive Man either as the video just proved. Two of the most famous (and in the latter's case, the most notorious) people in the galaxy did not just disappear unless they had a good reason to. They would vanish simply because they would not want to be found.

_John is not there, just like the Illusive Man. He promised he would come back to me, but Cerberus always wanted to use John for their own ends. So if John has not returned to me after all this time, then that means…the Illusive Man has John._

Armed with this revelation, Tali sprung up from her seat after copying the file over to her omni-tool and whirled around to open the door. Unfortunately, she was so focused on her breakthrough that she was not looking where she was going and promptly collided into a turian wearing blue and gray armor standing directly in the threshold of the doorway. Bouncing back in shock, Tali took a second to compose herself, transforming from a meek speck on the ground to an indignant wildfire in the span of a second as she immediately recognized the person she had just run into.

"_What the hell are _you_ doing here?_" both her and Garrus shouted at the same time.

"What the hell is _she_ doing here?" A turian guard at the far end of the databanks yelled in alarm as he plucked his pistol from his holster.

Damn it. She had forgotten to engage her active camo. Standing in the middle of the doorway she was as visible as a tree on Tuchanka right now.

Tali's own weapon sprung out first, purely on reflex, and she ignored Garrus' cry of "_No!_" as she pulled the trigger. A blue surge of energy blasted from the muzzle of her weapon and the guard cried out as sizzling electricity enveloped his body. He slumped to the ground, unconscious, and Tali grabbed Garrus by the collar and dragged him along with her back towards the exit.

"Tali- what…" Garrus garbled as he got strung along by the quarian's strong grip. "You just _shot_ a security guard-"

"The pistol was set for stun," she replied brusquely before she rudely pushed him against an alcove in the wall. "I didn't kill him, if that's what you're worried about."

Hard footsteps resounded from a few rows over, most likely drawn to the noise from the gunshot and the yell. The two waited for the guards to pass by before they continued, Garrus still reeling and operating on autopilot. Thankfully he kept quiet until they reached the next T-junction, where a black-suited turian was parked right in front of the storage room where Tali had infiltrated.

"All right," Tali muttered as she walked behind Garrus. "Go out there and distract them."

"What? No!" Garrus hissed. "I'm not going out there to do your dirty-"

But he was cut off yet again as Tali abruptly gave him a hard shove to his back and Garrus stumbled forward out into the open. The guard instantly saw him but relaxed his stance once he had visual confirmation of a friendly in close proximity.

"Vakarian?" the guard called. "What the hell is going on here?"

Garrus opened his mouth to speak, but Tali leaned out of cover from behind the taller turian and leveled off another stun burst. The guard crumpled to the floor, more quietly than the last one.

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" Garrus bemoaned in a hushed voice while Tali worked at lifting the armored turian by his arms.

"Quit your whining and grab his legs," Tali grunted. "We need to get this body out of sight."

Cursing at how quickly his day had fallen into shambles, Garrus cursed under his breath and checked all around him for reinforcements before helping Tali out with moving the body. Working as a team, the two of them were easily able to lift the deadweight man and Tali backed into the room and unceremoniously deposited the turian to the ground. Wasting no time, Tali raced to the center of the room after locking the door and mentally searched for the right tile to upend, quickly deciding upon the culprit in question. Tali hooked her fingers around the edge of the tile and began to pull while Garrus watched on in question.

While the quarian worked at removing the hatch, Garrus let out a laugh of disbelief. "One day, Tali. You couldn't wait _one day_ for me to get back to you with that information? I'm assuming that's why you're here as I can't really think of any other reason why you would take such a risk by deliberately _infiltrating_ a black site for the purposes of hacking into the turian database."

"That doesn't explain why _you_ are here right now! If I recall correctly," Tali retorted through clenched teeth as she shouldered the hatch aside, "you told me that it would take you a week to a few months to access the information in question."

"You know what? So did I. I came to the facility in person anyway to file a formal request and, for some reason, they told me that I had immediate access. I thought you would have been happy at the news but apparently I managed to come across you doing my job for me, apparently too impatient to wait one…damn…day!"

"How was I supposed to know?!" Tali shot back as she stood above the hole in the ground. "You think it's that easy for me to just sit and wait upon other people? I had to do _something_, Garrus. I needed to see the evidence for myself and I was not about to wait at least a week for that to happen."

"Well," Garrus huffed, "I hope you found something because I want no part of this anymore. Now unlock this door and let me out of here! I'm not going to be able to help you get out of this if you get caught, so hurry along to…wherever you're going next."

"John's alive, Garrus," Tali breathed as she crept down to the first rungs of the ladder that led into the bowels of the sewer.

Garrus hung his head and sighed in the direction of the locked door. "No, he's not, Tali. Shepard's gone. There's no way he could still be around."

"He's _alive_, Garrus. I know it to be true now."

Garrus slowly turned back around to look at Tali, who was halfway into the hole at this point. "You know for certain or is it only something you _think_ to be true? What could you uncover that forensic experts on our end couldn't? What did you find that could prove such a thing otherwise?"

Tali was silent for a moment. "I just…figured it out," she tried to explain but that apparently was not enough as Garrus held his head in his hands at that. "I can tell you what I _did_ discover, though," she piped up. "I can tell you everything, Garrus, and you can decide for yourself if John is alive or not."

"Try me," Garrus said through his hands. "Tell me right now."

"I don't think that now is the best time," Tali glanced upward as a soft alarm began pinging from outside the room. A flashing strobe now created a harsh glare in the corner of Garrus' vision and he squinted in pain. A little more agitated, Tali returned to staring at the turian in the room intensely. "If you come with me, I will explain everything to you, all of it. You can then make a choice later if you want to tag along and help me search for John or stay put in one place. I'm not waiting here one second longer, though. I'm going to find him, with or without your help."

As Tali began to descend, Garrus peered over the rim. "And if I decide _not_ to come with you?"

"You can just tell them that I forced you to distract a guard and drag him into the closet," Tali called back, now purely focused on climbing the rungs downward. "It's as good of an alibi as any, I would imagine. Although, you'll still have to do a lot of convincing on your end if you want to avoid being labeled as a co-conspirator. Your choice."

Garrus continued watching until the quarian was enveloped by darkness. He stared at the spot, half of him hoping that Tali would pop back out and accept his point of view, but the other half knew that was never going to happen. She was of the sort that once a goal was inserted into her head, there was nothing that anyone could do to dissuade her at that point. All he could do was slow her down if he resisted.

"Damn it all, Tali…"

This dilemma would have been much harder to solve if Tali was not as serious as she was. She had told him adamantly, to his face, that Shepard was still alive. This was the person the human had loved the most, the one he shared the most intimate of bonds, vouching for his survival. How, he still did not know, but wasn't that what he had been hoping for this whole time? To see his long-lost friend once again after a brisk return from the dead? Hell, he staved off death once, so why couldn't he do it again?

And…Shepard would do the same for him any day.

"You are a gullible fool, Vakarian," Garrus muttered as he clambered into the hole, alternating between cursing himself and Tali. Taking care not to wedge his armor as he traveled down the ladder, he reached over and scraped the lid over the hatch, sealing himself in black with only the sensation of his feet hitting rungs to guide him by.

* * *

Officer's Barracks – Palaven

"I must confess, sir," the barracks guard said as he walked down the hallway with his guest beside him, "the procedure for this sort of thing is a bit muddled from what I can understand. You do realize that this is highly irregular, what you're doing?"

"A highly irregular situation just transpired in the capital city, corporal," the guard's companion said gruffly, a Lieutenant Gherin. "And as such you do understand that the Primarch has the authority to act on such an occurrence any way he wishes? It's only on his orders that I'm here right now. Besides, considering all that has happened in the past few years, this sort of irregularity should not be all that troublesome to endure."

Gherin was an unremarkable turian in the fact that he had the barest amount of face paint on and that he dressed in the regulation uniform of a soldier. Trim and proper, he carried himself with a weight of importance, like his every action bettered the Hierarchy dramatically. By contrast, the barracks guard looked extremely diminutive despite the fact that they were the same height, thanks to his minimal protection and his slightly slumped posture. Gherin's stance made it seem like he towered over the corporal as they passed by the rows and rows of doorways in the barracks, their boots making click-clack noises upon the slightly scuffed tiles.

The corporal adjusted his path slightly diagonally and stopped in front of a nondescript door, much like the hundred others strewn across the hall. He was about to reach for the doorbell when Gherin's gloved hand quickly stopped him.

"What are you doing?" the corporal asked.

"Expediting the process," Gherin said rather stiffly. "You don't need to bang on his door to wake him up, just open it."

"Protocol states-"

"Protocol has vanished in the eyes of the Primarch," Gherin hissed. "He is on a strict timetable and we need to act upon this quickly. Open the damned door."

The guard sighed and produced a master chip from his pocket and waved it in front of the door. The holographic lock switched from red to green and opened to allow the two turians in. The room was dark, as it was the middle of the night, but Gherin was surprised at just how drab and spartan the interior was. Like the other rooms in the officer's barracks, it was carpeted, but all it contained was a bed and a desk and no other accoutrements that several officers loved to flaunt in plain sight. Lumps bunching up from underneath the sheets of the lone bed as well as the faint outline of a head resting on the pillow indicated to Gherin that the person he was assigned to retrieve was asleep in his cot. Without any further delaying, he walked right up to the side, not noticing the nervous swaying of the corporal behind him, and cleared his throat loudly.

"Colonel, sir," he announced, "I apologize for intruding, but Primarch Victus requests your presence immediately in his office."

The result was not what Gherin was expecting. Instead of a sleepy shuffling that usually accompanied people who were drowsy, the turian in the bed suddenly shot out from the sheets and in seconds was standing before the lieutenant, showing that he had a full four inches upon his intruder. The other thing that threw Gherin off guard was the fact that the turian was not wearing any clothes on him at all, yet he seemed unconcerned about this development as though this sort of a thing was normal for him.

It was easy to see why many people felt nervous in Verdis Nitherius' presence. The turian Spectre was as black as midnight, was taller than most turians, and routinely sharpened the ends of his mandibles so that he looked more fearsome. It was also hard to know what Nitherius was thinking at any given point in time because his eyes were great black spheres that seemed to envelop all of his glassy orbs. He was also one of the best warriors on the planet, and Gherin knew that Nitherius could tear him apart without so much as breaking a sweat, which made him feel suddenly very hot under the collar.

"Victus?" Nitherius whispered. "He sent for me?" His voice was like gravel trickling down a slope, grating and deep.

"Y-Yes, sir," Gherin now faltered, still a bit flustered at the Spectre's casual nudity. He dared not look below the belt. "He…he said it was urgent that…that you meet with him right away."

If Nitherius was flickering his eyes in other directions, Gherin could not tell. The only way a change in his gaze was evident was when the large Spectre physically moved his head to the side, ostensibly fixating the barracks guard with his stare. Nitherius' mandibles twitched once as a low growl of thought traveled up his throat.

Gherin was about to cough out a statement to help Nitherius see the urgency of the situation, but the bigger turian suddenly shot out his left arm and grasped his fingers around the lieutenant's throat. Gherin gagged as he was effortlessly lifted and instinctively began to beat on Nitherius' arm to get free. His hands only found metal, and the whirring of the Spectre's prosthetic arm filled his ears as the cold, artificial fingers constricted themselves around Gherin's windpipe.

The barracks guard was frozen in terror as he looked at the artificial arm that ran up to Nitherius' shoulder socket choke Gherin in front of his eyes. Nitherius seemed to be mildly unconcerned, his eyes narrowing in displeasure as he examined the lieutenant in his grip. Gherin's feet dangled in the air but Nitherius did not seem to be getting tired from the physical exertion.

"If the Primarch wanted me, he could have called and gotten the same result," he hissed into Gherin's face. "It's rather rude to barge into one's living area and make a bold request several leagues above their pay grade." He now looked to the corporal, who still had the capacity to speak. "There _was_ a doorbell next to the door. Did that somehow go amiss between the two of you?"

"T-The lieutenant was q-quite specific about contacting you as s-soon as possible," the corporal stammered. There was a rustling noise from the bed and the guard looked over to see the head of a turian female pop up from the sheets, next to where Nitherius had been laying. The corporal's jaw must have dropped as the gears turned in his head, but the female had on an expression of sorrow and regret as she looked upon the scene. The covers dropped from her chest and the corporal saw that she was not wearing anything either and he finally looked away, flushing terribly.

"Manners should still take priority over any situation," Nitherius growled as he began to walk over to the door, the lieutenant in tow. "The imperativeness notwithstanding. Next time, knock first, and do tell the Primarch that I will see him when I am able."

With that, Nitherius bent his elbow and hurled Gherin out into the hall so hard that he slammed against the opposite door, cracking it and undoubtedly waking the residents. The corporal took the hint and scurried out of the room so fast an FTL drive might as well have been soldered to his back. Leaving the lieutenant to cough and splutter on the ground, Nitherius slammed on the console to close and lock the door, before he openly sighed in the newfound silence.

"Victus is asking you to work again, isn't he?" the woman said as she swung her legs out of the bed and walked over to him. Like Nitherius, she too was wearing nothing, but managed to approach the entire affair with considerably more grace. She placed a hand on his mandible and looked up at him with her green eyes. "I thought you said that he would leave you alone for a while."

"Evidentially he lied, Kiyareh" Nitherius shrugged as he opened the walk-closet, unveiling a set of pure white armor and a host of deadly looking weapons racked on the wall. He lifted a black bodysuit from a drawer and unfolded it delicately as he walked back over to the bed. "As much as I would like to tell him to go to hell, I cannot refuse an order from the Primarch."

"You can afford to do such a thing," Kiyareh shot back as she draped a robe around her form while Nitherius bent down to pull on the lower half of the bodysuit. "Spirits knows that you have the ability to say no every once in a while."

"Don't you think the Primarch knows that? He wouldn't ask for my help unless it was for something of great importance."

"Oh, right," Kiyareh scoffed as she crossed her arms. "Is that how you're going to justify this? By saying that you're such a big shot in the military that you can get the Primarch on his knees, groveling for your participation to get him out of a mess?"

Nitherius' features hardened momentarily but quickly softened. "That's not fair, Kiyareh. None of this is fair, to me or to you. But this is the life we lead in this day and age. We're soldiers, we have a job. If we wanted fairness we could have joined C-Sec and have gotten regular hours and wages but this is what we chose to do."

"It still doesn't mean that I have to like it," Kiyareh pouted.

"I know what you're thinking and I'm telling you that you don't have to worry. It's not like the Primarch will be sending me on a suicide mission. If the Reapers couldn't kill us, what could possibly do that now?"

"Oh, thresher maws, pirate gangs, food poisoning, the usual."

"You worry too much, but I'll tell you what," Nitherius assured, "I'll go and see what the Primarch wants me to accomplish and if I decide to take whatever job he's offering me, I'll negotiate to have him give you and I an extended leave, in writing so that we have leverage, for as long as it suits us. Then, we can have clear consciences for a good long while and can finally have a chance to relax. I can make this work, my dear, but we just have to be patient."

Kiyareh fixed him with a hard stare that even he had trouble determining if she was angry with him. He was about to open his mouth to explain some more when her eyes relaxed and she gave a light chuckle. "Verdis Nitherius, sometimes I have trouble seeing you for the warrior you are. You're so sentimental around me that I'm now worried that I've been rubbing away too hard at your rough edges. You sure you're the kind of person the Primarch needs for this job? That rough and ragged turian I first met doesn't quite seem to exist anymore."

"Quiet, woman," Nitherius scowled, but he growled out a laugh all the same as he straightened out the sleeves of his bodysuit, "and help me put on the rest of this damn armor before I teach you a lesson."

"Ooh," Kiyareh mocked. "Scary."

* * *

Primarch Victus tapped his desk repeatedly, finding the stoic form of Verdis Nitherius standing in front of him to make a silent mockery of him. Anyone else would find the sort of still body language to be quite arrogant but Victus viewed it as a silent rebuke, a lament to a broken promise.

The rain was falling steadily against the wide window that overlooked the edge of the military base. If he were to turn around, he could view the drill instructors yelling at the recruits to do their calisthenics in the wet mud while the war drums of the Hierarchy's myriad marching tunes blasted over the loudspeakers. Such environmental conditions built sufficient character for the fresh-faced boots who were lucky enough to not be involved in war, or unlucky as it were – having never had the chance to prove to their nation their loyalty and service.

Right now, Victus did not concentrate on the base outside but fiddled with a writing stylus before he deposited onto his desk in frustration. Nitherius was still standing in the same position, his arms crossed behind his back, his brilliant white armor gleaming spotlessly. A few dabs of equally white war paint had been applied in straight lines that ran diagonally across the man's face, creating the look of scar tissue. His entire left arm was not covered by the armor as Nitherius chose to free his artificial arm from the confines of a restrictive suit. He was also armed to the brim, with both an assault and sniper rifle hooked onto his back, and also possessing a pair of Carnifex pistols on either side of his waist holsters. If Victus did not know the man standing in front of him quite as well as he did, he would assume that Nitherius was about to go on a murdering spree right in front of his eyes.

The scary thing was that he could probably get quite far into it before he could be put down.

As it was, Victus chose to be quite frank. "I hope you realize that I'm not impressed with your showboating skills that you've demonstrated just a few hours ago, Verdis. The day hasn't even started and already you've whipped up a problem that did not need to be on my desk at all."

"Which could have been easily avoided if you had pinged my omni-tool instead of having a grunt fetch me in person," Nitherius retorted just as frankly. "Should it have come as a surprise that I reacted a little more physically than the lieutenant anticipated when he walked up to my bed and cleared his throat in order to rouse me? On top of that, he rudely interrupted the nice rest I was sharing with Major Xelris so my being in an annoyed mood should have been expected, all things considered."

"But did you have to grab the poor man by his neck and hurl him out of your apartment? You could have broken ribs from a move like that."

"He's fine now, so what does it matter? I had to make sure that he learned a lesson from his blunder. How else should I have reacted when he practically forced himself inside my own quarters and proceeded to piss me off to no end? If that happened to anyone else, they probably would have grabbed a weapon and shot the intruder." He flexed his prosthetic fingers dangerously, as casually as one would appraise their fingernails.

"But you are a _colonel_ in the Turian Hierarchy! On top of that, you're a Spectre! You're not just 'anyone else,' you're an elite soldier whose ass happens to belong to the military."

"And since I belong to both I have the capacity to pick and choose between the two careers," Nitherius shrugged, noting that his words sounded very much like Kiyareh's. "If I have been dragged over here just to be berated, then I see no point in continuing this exchange any further. Good day, Primarch."

"You're not going anywhere until I dismiss you!" Victus shouted, appalled at Nitherius' brazenness.

"Hire me or fire me," came the glib remark. "I'm not apologizing for what I did so you can either take the blame for what happened or choose to move on to whatever you really need me for. I'm feeling rather tired now, Primarch, so I think I'll just get back to my apartment until you make a-"

"Fine, dammit!" Victus snarled before he raised his hands and took a deep breath. "Look, Verdis, I didn't call you over here to argue with you. I'm sorry for how things got so messed up in bringing you over here as I simply just didn't think of calling you on your omni-tool. It was an oversight on my part and I thought that you would be less prone to refusing a physical escort, which I now see was a mistake."

"It was an honest mistake," Nitherius added as he turned back from the door and sat in the seat across from the Primarch's desk without further goading. "Your reasoning was sound but it was not your fault for how the minutia of the decision played out. The lieutenant was being a belligerent jackass but that's all in the past right now. What can I do for you?"

Victus blinked at how quickly Nitherius was at the offer to bury the hatchet, but he did remember that the Spectre hardly held grudges and used logic to fuel his decisions instead of pure emotion. Thanking the spirits that the man was not as petty as to rub his little victory in his face, Victus sat down at his desk and tugged lightly at his collars.

"I'll start you off at the beginning, then. There was a situation at the archive building a few hours ago," he began gravely.

Nitherius' mandibles flexed once, but his expression did not change. "What sort of situation?"

"A heist. Two guards were knocked unconscious in a break-in attempt that managed to go about undetected for the most part. Normally this sort of problem would have been considered an impossibility but you and I both know that our infrastructure is a fraction of what it used to be thanks to a bunch of warlike machines encroaching upon our doorstep a while back. Security surrounding the archives has been light ever since the Reaper War, which explains how it was broken into so easily. We were faced with a combination of tech attacks this morning that left us, for the most part, clueless while we were being robbed."

"Well, at least the guards are okay. Do we have an idea if anything was stolen?"

Victus tabbed down to the crime report on his data slate to read it out loud. "Digital forensics managed to discover that a legitimate user ID and password were used to obtain access to the system. The thief managed to copy the video file detailing our initial rescue efforts on the Citadel before they left."

Nitherius scratched his chin. "How many culprits were there? Just the one?"

"Two. But this is the part you're not going to like."

Now Nitherius seemed rather skeptical. "Why not?"

"Because the two individuals whom we picked up on security feeds leaving the scene were none other than the quarian Admiral Tali'Zorah and former teammate, not to mention an advisor to myself, Garrus Vakarian."

A holographic projector on the wall flared to life and began to broadcast the collected footage and Nitherius was able to see both the small form of the quarian hunker down behind a row of databanks while the unmistakable outline of a taller turian hunched behind her. He saw Tali push Garrus out into a junction where he would be easily spotted by one of the guards, only for the quarian to take advantage of the situation and stun the soldier before he even had a chance to react. The two of them then disappeared into a room which was when the security footage ended.

Nitherius pointed at the now blank screen. "I would never have guessed that Vakarian could be a traitor, Primarch. Do you think he was forcibly coerced by the quarian to carry out this job against his will?"

"If that was the case, the events do not seem to corroborate such a hypothesis," Victus sighed. "Perimeter cameras managed to spot the two of them heading off into a spot in the foothills west of the facility, at a time when the quarian was not forcing him at gunpoint to come with her or anything. It's interesting, because the initial coordination between the two seemed a bit sloppy but in later stills it appears evident that Vakarian seems to have accepted whatever point of view the quarian wanted him to see in the first place. My guess is that Ms. Zorah did not anticipate running into our mutual friend, Mr. Vakarian, as she was working but found the new situation to be advantageous in the end."

"And now I know why you wanted me in the first place," Nitherius growled.

"Oh?" Victus said with the tiniest of simpers. "And why might that be?"

"You want me to arrest both Vakarian _and_ Zorah, sir. You want me to commit what is tantamount to career suicide by locating and capturing not one but _two_ Normandy crewmembers. The fact that one of them happens to be one of the most famous turians in the galaxy at this point in time is going to make our point of view extremely unsympathetic to the populace, despite his guiltiness."

"We'll manage to keep this quiet, don't you worry. But you _do_ agree that he must be punished for what he has done despite his status as a turian icon?"

"Absolutely," Nitherius nodded. "From the footage and what you've told me, there is no question that Vakarian and Zorah should be brought to justice." He folded his hands as he collected his thoughts for a second. "But even that will cause consternation amongst the galaxy, even though that such matters are not where my expertise lies."

"You aren't worried about the Council creating a conflict of interest?"

"If you can keep this under wraps, the Council needn't know a thing," Nitherius shrugged. "They would just slow such a mission down if they realized what we were up to. I'm guessing that popular opinion amongst the Council controlled worlds could be shifted radically, perhaps backfiring on us in such a way that would be disastrous, if they knew we were calling for the arrest of former members of the _Normandy_. What will be the procedure concerning the two when I bring them back to Palaven for their sentencing?"

"A court will be convened, naturally, but such a trial will be more of a formality on our end than anything else. We will incarcerate Vakarian and Zorah for a time, no longer than a few weeks, and then we give Vakarian a slap on the wrist at the very end, as his lawbreaking is as white-collar as it possibly can get. Zorah, on the other hand, we will extradite to Rannoch and subsequently work with the quarians to place her under house arrest, because what she did technically falls under an act of terrorism. She will no longer be welcome on Palaven and this way we will escape a media shitstorm from issuing lenient sentences and might even win some praise for going easy on the two heroes. After all, they technically did not endanger anyone's lives so far."

"Except mine," Nitherius said as he got up out of his chair, his fake hand now playing with a spare stylus he had plucked from the desk. "You know as well as I do that neither Vakarian or Zorah are not going to react well when I come to pry them away from whatever they're doing at the moment. No one comes quietly in this line of work."

"And I wouldn't ask you to do this if I didn't think you were up to the task."

"And I will take the job," Nitherius said as he held up his hand, "but I have one condition."

If Victus was annoyed by this development, he certainly did not show it. "Go on."

"I want a guarantee in writing by you authorizing a paid leave for a full cycle, granted immediately upon completion of the assignment."

"Done," Victus said without batting an eye. "And I take it that you want this leave extended to encompass Major Kiyareth Xelris as well?"

"Was it that obvious?"

"Painfully so," Victus replied humorlessly as he slid out a drawer from his desk and produced a new data slate. He slid the slate over to the other side of the desk. "This contains all the necessary information on Vakarian and Zorah. We managed to track the trajectory of their ship based on the angle they exited the system through the mass relay. Our best guess is that they traveled to the Citadel to regroup and recover. The two of them also have contacts based on the station so it would not be a stretch to assume that the Citadel is their next destination."

"Makes sense," Nitherius said as he pocketed the slate. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"I believe that covers everything. But I think it goes without saying that Vakarian and Zorah must be brought back to Palaven alive and unharmed, Verdis?"

"Come on, Victus," Nitherius chuckled as he moved toward the door. "What do you take me for?" Before he left, he squeezed the stylus that he still carried in his hand a bit too hard and it abruptly bent at the middle. The top half of the stylus snapped off and clattered to the floor with a tinkling noise. Nitherius gave a sheepish shrug and left the room hastily, leaving the Primarch alone at his desk.

"A man with a deft touch, evidentially," Victus muttered acidly.

* * *

The wind hit Nitherius first as the garage door began the torturous slide upwards. As soon as it cleared his head did he step forward and allow the rain to pour down upon him. In seconds, he was drenched. All he could hear as he strode down the runway was the whine of jet engines, the muffled shouting of drill instructors, and the terrifying beating of the drums replayed over and over again. It was the soundtrack that got his blood pumping and his adrenaline racing through his veins.

The yellow lights positioned high above the rows of fighter ships were continually streaked from the rain. Nitherius waded through a few deep puddles and spat to clear his mouth occasionally. He lowered his head to protect his eyes from the slanted precipitation, finding the watery assault to be refreshing from the cold and from the raw forcefulness of nature.

The glowing uniform of a marshal waving him over caught his eye and he headed over to where the government provided spacecraft was located. A heavily modified Mantis, decked out in matte black paint and stealth sensors sat proudly upon the tarmac, waiting for its pilot to seat himself. A few workers hurried over and provided a ladder for Nitherius to clamber up, as there was no entry ramp or rear staging area in the craft for that matter. The turian Spectre swiftly climbed the rungs and got himself settled in, quickly closing the hatch and drying himself with a little towel provided inside. Even with the cockpit sealed, he could still hear the broadcasted drums through the craft, providing that little boost to his energy.

The base had already given him clearance to start the craft, so he flicked the appropriate switches and the Mantis roared to life, blue flames streaming out from the engines. The Mantis lurched as it began to hover a few feet off the ground and Nitherius quickly scanned his instruments to detect any anomalies with the fuel, temperature, oil pressure, and eezo conversion. Everything was green on his end, all that he needed was the all-clear.

A few moments later, another marshal walked in front of the Mantis to snag Nitherius' attention. The Spectre tracked the worker's gaze and watched as he stepped to the side, clear of the craft's angle. With a singular nod, the marshal dropped his arm in time to the beating of the war drums and Nitherius surged the throttle forward.

The sensation of the intense acceleration was lost on him as he shot through the storm and out through the clouds. He barely had the time to notice the morning sun peeking out over the horizon before he gave the yoke a flick and he suddenly found himself screaming into dark space, freed from Palaven's gravitational clutches.

Nitherius continued to pilot the Mantis manually as it would only be a few hours until he reached the Sol system, less than that to reach the relay. With a skeptical scratch on his chin, the dark-skinned turian settled in for the short flight and began going through all of the appropriate scenarios on what he was going to do when he would finally confront his quarry.

All of his mental plans, however, led to disaster the longer he considered them. Every single time.

Oddly enough, he could still hear those drums.

* * *

**A/N: Now there are two hunters on the prowl for our two protagonists. Things are getting interesting real fast. (And yes, Garrus will now be a traveling companion to Tali the whole way. Team Dextro is back!)**

**So, Tali now has all of the motivation she needs to hunt Shepard down to the ends of the universe with the proof she collected. And we haven't even hit the interesting parts yet...**

**This chapter now marks a career 1,000,000 words ever since I started writing a year ago! Damn, has it really been that long? I guess this hobby connected with me a lot more than I initially thought it would. Huh, who woulda thunk?**

**Just as a side note, I will be taking a business trip to Florida in the next week (the humidity's going to be brutal) and that, combined with my upcoming surgery, will mean that the next chapter (or the following one) will be delayed. If I miss my usual date for posting a chapter, then whatever day I post on afterward will be my new weekly submission date. I'll be sure to point it out the next time I make a submission, just in case. Just a heads up for you guys.  
**

**And as always, please read and review! I like it when people let me know what is currently working or not working in these stories as they help me easily determine if this story is being read or not. Characterizations, thoughtful analysis, constructive criticism, whatever. All reviews are accepted...with the exception of flaming, trolling, or nonsensical babble.  
**

**Babbling's just the worst.**


	7. Chapter 6: Shadow Broken

John Shepard Citadel

It started out like any other day in Liara T'Soni's life.

The soft beeping of her omni-tool woke her up at the usual time for her to get ready. Early morning, in order to avoid the traffic. After a quick shower, she followed that up by preparing a pre-cooked meal in the kitchen of her apartment. Today was a gourmet salarian breakfast: eggs in a spicy jelly followed with a human drink made from fresh squeezed Earth fruit. In some ways, it was fortuitous that the Citadel was located directly in Earth's airspace as human goods, now not having to traverse the relay network suddenly were much cheaper to ship here and therefore much cheaper to sell. Liara found herself eating more and more of human cuisine over the past year and had tried enough to realize that the asari were now facing severe competition with regards to cooking.

Once her breakfast was complete, Liara would then spend the next half hour munching on her food while multiple news feeds on her wall were each individually projecting a different event happening across the galaxy, tuned to different news streams. She would spend a minute looking at one event before transitioning her gaze to the next screen. Multitasking like this was an art and Liara had practically perfected it by this point.

The fact that she still had at least a millennium to hone her craft meant that she would have a lot of time to reflect on her life choices. It was always in the early day when Liara got philosophical.

Having left her archeology career completely behind, information was the commodity she excelled in these days, and she needed to consume it all, lest the quality of it deteriorated due to untimeliness. People these days did not just want information to be informed. They wanted to use it to the best advantage and they wanted it cheap, they wanted it accurate, and they wanted it immediately.

Fortunately, Liara had enough experience in a fast-paced environment as to not be stressed out by the forcefulness of her clientele. That is, if only they knew who she really was underneath her supposedly naïve exterior as a simple information broker, then perhaps her unflappable personality would have been a bit more realized.

Liara always finished her breakfast half an hour before her place of work was supposed to open. Gathering her things, she took her time in touching up her appearance subtly before heading out the door to her apartment and to the nearest skycar lot where she could pick up a taxi to take her to the high-rise where she worked these days.

The building where she based herself was located in the middle of the financial district of the Citadel, conveniently only a block away from a taxi stand. Liara made it to the lobby of the skyscraper at her usual time, fifteen minutes before opening, and stepped into the lift.

The hundred and fifteenth floor of the building was completely owned by her, as a precaution from the dangers her job contained, and the elevator prompted her for a password before it took off for the inner reaches. Not just anyone could access her floor unless they had been provided a specific code that was changed every day thanks to a secure algorithm she had purchased from one of the top turian security companies advertised on the extranet. That sort of the information was privy to only her and the lobby guard (whom she had conducted a thorough background check on beforehand). She had memorized the codes for the next two weeks by now and in no time was hurtling towards her level. Liara ignored the sight of the Presidium falling away beneath her and instead glanced upward and watch the numbers of the lift skyrocket.

"_T'Soni Holdings_," the elevator chimed as it began to decelerate. "_Have a pleasant day_."

_By the Goddess, I hate that line._

Thankfully, the false cheeriness of the elevator's preprogrammed message was only a slight disturbance upon the beginning of what would usually amount to a monotonous day. Finally freed from the confines of the metal box, Liara walked into a deserted hallway and opened the polished oak door directly in front of her. She was greeted to a wide room with a large, crescent-shaped desk planted near a long window that spanned the entire length and height of the room. A few silvery sculptures adorned the entryway and two Prothean artifacts stood encased in glass boxes behind the seat at her desk, always visible in case she ever spent time gazing thoughtfully out the window at the brown and blue world of Earth in the distance. Simple. Thoughtful. Elegant.

This was the lair of the Shadow Broker.

Without much fanfare, Liara smoothly walked over to her chair and set her bag underneath her desk. The console's automatic scanners engaged and floated around her head, shooting out bright shafts of light as they analyzed her retinas, fingerprints, and even heartbeat to determine that it really was her sitting here right now. Anyone else and automated turrets would pop up from hidden panels in the walls, most likely decimating whoever was foolish enough to make their way into this place. The identity scanning process was entirely nonintrusive and Liara was used to the bright balls of light orbiting around her head to the point where she was able to shut them out entirely and proceeded to log into her workstation effortlessly.

On cue, the walls leading up to the door were quickly draped by more of the cacophony of newsfeeds that she had experienced earlier in her apartment. Facial recognition software activated and the screens swiveled on automated stands so that they were perfectly perpendicular to Liara's line of sight. Truthfully, Liara did not care so much about having them on as she never paid them much mind. They only served to impress whatever client would walk in as well as providing a source of good background noise. Silence could get maddening in long intervals. At least when she was an archeologist, there would be the noises of nature to fill in the quiet gaps. Here, she had to make do with technology.

To the casual observer, Liara T'Soni of T'Soni Holdings appeared to be nothing more than an overly cautious information broker, a quieter career after her participation in the war. The signs were there to give off the right atmosphere of paranoia any member in her job category would exhibit: an entire floor reserved, a passcode for office access, and no official listing for her business actually existed in any registry. Her services relied entirely upon the word-of-mouth of her clients, and so far she had a one hundred percent success rate. People came to her, after they passed a light background check, and paid well for the information she was assigned to retrieve. Dirt on a rival business, information on a cheating spouse, the know on who was going to win the next varren race, she offered it all and her clientele lapped it up like they were completely parched.

Truthfully, she had the capacity to answer each and every query the second they were posed to her by her clients, but Liara intentionally made it her business practice to keep them in the dark for a few days. There was a fine line between getting the job done and getting the job done quickly. With her resources, she could garner results in mere minutes with the right parameters, but she made it a habit to hold off on doing such a thing until a specified amount of time had passed, for if an ordinary information broker could perform such accurate and timely feats, then that would expose her to suspicion. She did not want people to jump to conclusions too soon about her real identity, for if many people knew she was the Shadow Broker, then her way of life could get real difficult real fast.

Regardless, her work was heavily praised and she was highly sought after as a key information broker on the John Shepard Citadel. Her exclusivity and knack for getting results had put her in high demand with the people who wanted to get a leg up on whatever problem was currently vexing them. It paid the bills and then some, so money was not exactly a key factor for her continuing this line of work at this point.

It was actually because she liked doing it, regardless of the danger it posed to her.

Her datapad pinged and she looked down at the message she had just received. It was from the lobby guard, who was saying that he just allowed two people onto the lift and that they were headed straight for her floor. Liara frowned at that. Her schedule denoted that she was not due to meet with anyone for at least a couple hours. Something about this didn't seem right.

If the guard had just sent the message now, if it really _was_ the guard, then the two individuals would be here in mere moments.

Liara hovered her hand above the turret failsafe, her other clutching the grip of a submachine gun strapped to the underside of her desk. If anyone who ran up here was hostile, her plan was to engage the security turrets and immediately level a biotic blast towards the door while she swiped the muzzle of her gun across the room. That way, she would be able to create a wide range of fire in the coverless area while discouraging any attackers from going on the offensive. The Shadow Broker never left anything to chance.

As soon as those doors opened, all that quick mental planning vanished in a heartbeat.

"Wow," Garrus said appreciatively as he casually strolled in, the doors swooshing shut behind him. "Not bad, T'Soni. Not bad. You've done quite well for yourself, judging by the view. I love what you've done with the place."

At this stage in her life, it was rare for Liara to be so caught off guard from an unexpected visitor, a fact that became more apparent when a smaller figure stepped out from behind Garrus and passed her a timid wave, that enviro-suit looking all too familiar.

"_Garrus?_" Liara asked as she rose out of her chair in shock. "T-Tali too?"

"Hello, Liara," Tali greeted shyly.

The asari quickly ran around her desk and up the small staircase to quickly wrap the quarian in a strong hug. "By the Goddess, it is so good to see you!" she gushed in happiness. "It…it's been so long, I…I didn't think I would get to _talk_ to you! Not this soon, at least."

Tali warmed from the friendly contact and returned the hug. Such occurrences to openly translate pleasant feelings were uncommon these days. "I know, I know," she said apologetically. "Garrus mentioned that I've been particularly bad at keeping in contact lately."

"Speaking of which, do _I_ not get a hug?" Garrus grumbled facetiously.

"Shut up, you big whiner," Liara scowled playfully but embraced him all the same after she broke away from Tali. Now giving the turian his due, she stepped away to catch her breath and looked at her two guests, still astonished. "I…um…this is all quite unexpected, you guys, and I'm very happy to see you both…"

"But?" Garrus said, catching a hint of hesitation. Shadow Broker or not, he knew T'Soni well enough to pick up a few tics now and then.

"But, something is telling me that the both of you aren't here for purely a social call."

"That's very presumptuous of you," Garrus made a mock face of hurt. "What if we actually came all this way to have a friendly chat? It's not like either of us see each other on a regular basis."

"True," Liara said with a sly grin. "And I would believe that, except that Tali is with you and since no one has heard from Tali for about a year, my intuition is telling me that you have come here to say something important rather than catch up like old times."

"There might be a chance to do both, actually. But I'll let Tali take it from here since coming here was her idea. Tali?"

"We need your help, Liara," Tali stepped forward at Garrus' words. "I…I don't want you to think of us as insensitive, I couldn't think of anyone else to go to. I know it sounds very rude, us barging in to ask something of you, but-"

"It's nothing," Liara dismissed with a hand wave as she motioned them over to her desk. She sat down at her plush chair and gave a small smile. "I know exactly where you're coming from, for if_ I_ was good friends with the Shadow Broker, I would probably want to utilize their services from time to time too."

"Seems to have suited you quite well," Garrus noted as he looked around the room, noting the wide view from the window as well as the multitude of screens placed around the walls. "The whole incognito act been effective so far?"

"If there have been any whisperings regarding my double identity out there," Liara tittered, "then I haven't heard them. Don't you worry, I'm keeping a close watch on both my identities, basically ensuring that no one manages to connect Liara T'Soni with the Broker."

"I wasn't worried," Garrus shrugged as he and Tali took their seats, hearing the slight hiss as their frames pressed into the processed leather. "You've always been a cautious sort, Liara."

"So far," she smiled. "Now, as much as I would love to catch up, I can tell by your nervous twitching, Tali, that you're itching to say something. So, what can I do for you?"

Tali immediately and consciously stopped her fidgeting in her seat. She hadn't even noticed that she was moving about uncomfortably. _Keelah, I must really be more distracted than I thought_. She looked at Garrus for confirmation and he gave her a sage nod to proceed. Showtime.

Reaching into a pocket, Tali withdrew a data disk and carefully slid it across the desk and Liara gently took it from her. "What's this?" the asari asked.

"Something I need you to take a look at," Tali simply responded.

Liara, however, did not make a motion to slot it into a drive but continued to stare at the disk. "Can you tell me what's on it?" she pressed again.

Tali was about to indicate for Liara to play the damned file but Garrus interrupted her before she could say such words. "This is footage obtained from the initial rescue team on the Citadel, the members tasked with locating the control center as well as Shepard and Admiral Anderson. Tali and I have edited the video so that it can be p-"

Liara simply gave a knowing smile and slowly slid the disk back over to Tali. "I know what it is you're talking about."

Garrus looked nonplussed. "Don't you want to see the footage?"

"I've _already_ seen it, Garrus."

"You're kidding," the turian gaped and he shot a glance at Tali, a very obvious visual cue that Liara immediately picked up on. By contrast, the quarian seemed to shrink in her seat. "What do you mean, 'you've already seen it?'"

"I'm the Shadow Broker, remember?" Liara bumped her forehead slightly. "Information is my specialty. All mysterious pretenses aside, I managed to acquire a copy through other means. Apparently the old Broker had a contact in the turian military and his assignment was to filter occasional bits of information to my networks, the entire unfiltered footage of the event you just described being one of them. I received such a copy several months ago and it has been in one of my data warehouses ever since."

"Well, shit," Garrus sighed in exasperation.

Liara raised her brow. "Then I probably can infer why the majority of Palaven's military was placed on a state of alert just last night, seeing as that is the only other place that such a file was located."

"Your contact tell you that too?"

"He said that there was only a lockdown in effect at the archives but couldn't bring me any more details. I believe that I'm right in assuming that I don't think that the footage that you guys currently possess was achieved through legal means, yes?"

"It was all my idea, Liara," Tali blurted out. "I…I broke into the archives because Garrus said that there might have been information there that I needed to see. I stole the file and only happened to run into Garrus as I was leaving, thus stringing him along."

"And if I had known that Liara had a copy on file, I would have kept my mouth shut or told you to come here to start," Garrus groused, mainly to himself.

Liara and Tali ignored him, the asari somewhat impressed and concerned at the quarian's impulsiveness. "But why ever did you want to see that video for, Tali?" the asari asked, puzzled. "You're an admiral of the quarian fleet so I would assume that such an action would bring down harsh repercussions upon you for infiltrating the turian archives."

It was not hard to see that Tali's hands were wringing themselves into a knot from Liara's perspective. Tali always had trouble with her body language, a trait that quarians exacerbated due to a lack of visible facial expressions. Watching Tali in her seat, Liara could read her like a book at this very moment.

"That would be true, if I was still an admiral," Tali mumbled as she glanced at her lap in embarrassment.

Liara now looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Haven't you heard? I'm surprised that with your resources that you wouldn't have brought such a thing up immediately into our conversation. My admiralty had been revoked before I even made it to Palaven."

"What?!" both Garrus and Liara exclaimed. "When were you going to tell me that?" Garrus asked, looking shocked.

"Why would it matter?" Tali shot back. "You think it would be important for me to notify you that I was put on probation for striking a fellow admiral followed up by stealing one of their shuttles in order to retrieve the video file in the first place? What would that have accomplished initially? How could that have been prudent in any way? Besides, I'm not freaking out over the fact that _you_ probably have been fired in the meantime for being a co-conspirator in my escape. That just reeks of a double standard to me."

"Spirits, Tali," Garrus gaped in horror, not hearing the dig in his direction. "Striking an admiral? You know they're going to put you on trial, from what I've learned about your people, if they catch you."

Tali took that with a grain of salt. "The key word being '_if_.' And try withstanding a barrage of hateful words in your direction and see if _you_ don't snap from the stress. That bitch Xen deserved to get hit and I'm not sorry that I did such a thing. I will deal with the repercussions as they come but for now, I have bigger things to focus on."

Garrus did not appear convinced, but gave out a small chuckle that was faint enough to be mistaken for a cough. "Heh. Hitting Xen, huh?" he muttered. "Would've liked to have seen that…"

Liara, on the other hand, looked significantly more concerned. "I'm worried, Tali. You're still going to have to explain to me why you went through all this hassle just to obtain a file. I mean, I personally don't think it was worth breaking into a military building for anyway, in addition to striking an admiral and stealing a ship."

Now Tali was puzzled. "What makes you say that, Liara? Are you suggesting that you found nothing of substance in the footage when you first saw it?"

"It could very well be possible that you might have stumbled upon something that I failed to notice, yes. I will freely admit that. What did you learn from it that I could not?"

No punches were going to be pulled this time. "I…I don't think John is dead, Liara," Tali whispered.

Liara widened her eyes in complete surprise. Garrus gave a slight chuckle and shrugged. "Yeah, I know," he said. "It sounded crazy to me at first too."

The asari looked down at her desk, then to the window, and then back at her desk as her previously stoic face had been shattered and stitched together by complete shock. "And…" Liara began shakily, "you're convinced of this?"

"I guess I am, Liara," Tali replied sarcastically.

The asari looked at Tali, an incredulous expression on her face. "How? How could such a thing be possible?"

Tali and Garrus gave a glance at the other before the quarian leaned forward and proceeded to dump all the information she had accumulated through her meticulous searching. Liara sat perfectly still, her hands folded in front of her, her expression coming back under control, hardly changing as Tali's own gestures got wilder with each new revelation that she had uncovered. Garrus, meanwhile, kept alternating the position of his eyes between Tali and Liara, analyzing each individual reaction while still trying to process the knowledge that his best friend could still be out there.

Tali recounted the exact chain of events that led up to this moment, detailing why she thought it was necessary to steal the shuttle and how she broke into the archives. Liara gave nods and tiny murmurs to acknowledge that she was still listening throughout the exposition. She was particularly enamored with how Tali utilized all of the stealth techniques she had accumulated over the years in the process of the archive heist, finding it odd that how the quarian had finally stolen something after she had, for years, held back from performing a deed that she had considered to be so low and demeaning to her species.

After Tali had paused for a breather, Liara spread her hands and blew air out of her mouth forcefully. "This is a lot to take in, Tali. Quite a lot."

"I know," Tali said emphatically. "But I would stake my life on it all being true, I swear to you."

"No questioning you there," Liara murmured as she rested her head upon her hand. "And you really think that the Illusive Man is behind Shepard's disappearance? Based on the circumstantial evidence of a blood stain left behind at the scene?"

Tali paused. "Yes, I do," she said, now a little wary. _Where is she going with this?_

The asari just sighed and stood up from her chair, earning curious glances from her guests. Gently swiping her fingers across the desk, Liara turned around and walked to the wide window that beheld the entire Presidium before her, glimmering with life. Liara held her hands close to her chest and breathed out of her nose stiffly, like she was on the verge of breaking down. Tali anxiously leaned forward to catch the individual tics coming from the asari and soon realized that something was wrong. She had expected elation from the asari, not this stiff and awkward response.

"What do you want from me?" Liara whispered, so faint that even the audio receptors in Tali's helmet had a hard time picking it up.

"We want you to help," Tali reiterated earnestly as she now stood, Garrus beside her. "We _need_ you, Liara. We need the Shadow Broker."

"To do what?" Liara dramatically sighed as she spread her arms. "To jump back into the fray without a plan once more? To assist you in something that will turn out to be futile in the end?"

"What?! Liara, what are you talking about?"

"Tali…" Liara said helplessly. "I'm sorry, but I…I can't."

"You can't what?" Tali growled, annoyed. "Can't help us? Can't join us? Can't what?"

"_I can't go through this again!_" the asari screamed as wavy blue tendrils of biotic power streamed from her fingertips, whipping out and catching the edge of one of the Prothean statues and decapitating it, sending it smashing to the floor in a thousand stone fragments.

Tali stood impassively and kicked the resulting dust off her boots as she looked impassively at Liara, still not completely understanding. The asari was still breathing heavily. "I'm…I'm so sorry, Tali. But…please understand. When Shepard died the first time, I thought I lost a friend for good. I went through _everything_ to get his body back, just like you are doing now, but I had doubts that I was running a fool's errand the entire time. When he died a second time, I used all my power as the Shadow Broker to search for him, I truly did, but I ended up finding nothing in the end. Only the same evidence you have found, but I thought the connections were meaningless."

"And so you just gave up?" Tali retorted acidly. "You just decided to quit after finding nothing you thought was relevant? How come _I_ don't find the connections meaningless? Can't you find logic from that certainty? What happened to the friend I knew who would not stop to achieve her goals even when pushed past the edge of reason?"

"Reality set in, Tali," Liara scowled as she made her way back to her chair. "I had a lifetime's worth of evidence the first time Shepard disappeared, but with this…I've only been able to muster bits and pieces. The more I tried, the harder it became for me to go on. All the signs this time pointed to him being dead for good and I haven't been able to prove anything to the contrary."

"After what I just showed you?" Tali said, appalled. "After everything you've been told, you're not going to believe it?"

Tears of regret now stung angrily in Liara's eyes. She quickly wiped them away. "I _can't_, Tali. Not this time."

If Liara knew just how sternly Tali was glaring at her through the quarian's visor, she might have changed her position somewhat. Tali's face felt like a sauna as she fought the urge to leap over the asari's desk, grab Liara's head, and viciously smash it down on the desk again and again to make the asari see Tali's point of view. Tali was even contemplating how good it would feel if the asari would not relent, leaving Tali no choice but to crack Liara's skull open, pry away the fragments of bone, and cause the bubbly goop of the asari's brains to slowly drip down her-

With a start, Tali realized what she was thinking about and gave her body a tiny shake, successfully jolting her from her morbid thoughts. She shuddered, now feeling a bit cold and sick after vividly imagining such a horrid action. Where had _that_ come from? Was that really what she wanted to do? What had gotten _over_ her?

Liara had not noticed the turmoil engulfing the quarian, as she was now facing the turian standing next to her. "And you, Garrus? Are you as convinced of this as Tali? Do you also think that Shepard is alive, somewhere in this galaxy?"

Garrus nervously glanced at Tali before he gave a shrug. "I honestly don't know, Liara. But it's _because_ I don't know is why I'm joining Tali on this. Would it be better to do nothing and assume the worst or actively do something and find out the truth? Shepard is a soldier; he knew the risks of war, but he and I know very well that you never leave a man behind, much less a _friend_. Alive or dead, I want to see this thing through."

"He is _alive_, Garrus," Tali reiterated.

"If you say he's alive, then he's alive," he acquiesced as he patted Tali's shoulder gently. He then looked at Liara. "I'm with Tali on this one, Liara. I want to hope, but at this point I want to _know_ more than anything. It will give me some peace of mind…as it will for you."

Liara shook her head yet again. "If all I can think of is that this journey will undoubtedly lead to more disappointment and heartbreak, I don't want to put myself through that. How, Garrus? How can you be so calm at digging up old bones when the outcome very well may be that Shepard is dead?"

"He is not dead!" Tali shouted.

"Easy," Garrus shushed Tali. "I'm not interested in digging up old bones, Liara," he said to the asari. "What I do want is to close some doors that may have been left open. I feel that Shepard would keep looking for me, regardless of any so-called 'facts' that might dissuade him. He would not stop until he knew the complete truth. Maybe then I can honor his memory instead of going to memorial service after memorial service and drinking myself into a stupor."

"Which is the opposite of what _you're_ doing, Liara," Tali spat. "You're so content in this cushy life that you won't even get out of your damn chair to help us, despite what you may think!"

"I never said I wouldn't help you!" Liara cried as her fist pulsed with purple energy again. Normally such a sight would cower an ordinary citizen, especially in light of the fact that this was the Shadow Broker, but Tali had known Liara for years and refused to back down, her gaze still defiant. "You haven't even asked me what it is that I should be looking for yet, so don't go so far as to insult me for something like that!"

"All right, _enough!_" Garrus yelled so loudly that a thankful wave of silence rolled over the room. Everyone in the room turned to look at the turian and it was only when he felt that he had their full attention did Garrus continue. "We're not going to get any further by arguing, you guys. Our positions on the matter have been laid out and we don't have the luxury of changing them anytime soon."

"Pfft," Tali snorted as she turned her head to the side and crossed her arms. "Now you tell me."

"_Tali_," Garrus reprimanded before he sighed in complete frustration. "Look, let's all just sit down and try to resume the civil conversation we had been holding just previously. Does anyone else think that's a good idea?"

"Sure, fine," Liara said icily as she sat into her seat.

"Whatever," Tali groused but did the same.

Garrus ground his back teeth before he gestured to Liara, now the lead spokesperson for the duo. "Okay, then. Liara, I know that you think we're wasting our time with this, but you can continue to state your opinion further and cause a greater rift-"

"I _don't_ want to do that," Liara said honestly.

"Good, so I'm asking you as a friend. Tali and I are asking you, I should say, that can you help us find Shepard, in whatever way you can? We just need a lead on any information concerning the relationship between Shepard and the Illusive Man. Anything at all, and we will be on our way."

Tali was still frozen in her grumpy posture, but Liara finally cracked a sympathetic smile. The quarian saw that in her peripheral vision and her crossed arms relaxed slightly. That would have to be a start.

"I will do just that," Liara granted as her fingers hovered over a holographic keyboard that sprung up above her desk. "Just give me a moment."

A moment turned into a few minutes of steady typing until the asari's face lit up with satisfaction. "Okay, I've got something."

"We're listening," Garrus said. Even Tali was now leaning forward, interested.

Liara gestured to her vidscreen. "So, I assumed that with the involvement of the Illusive Man just as you described, Tali, that there must be a connection to Cerberus in the works."

"That's what I assumed too," Tali said, her tone now dramatically less confrontational. "That creep likes to have his cronies on hand to do his dirty work."

"Right, so I cross-referenced and listed any known surviving members of Cerberus still operating in the area. From the records I've been able to accumulate, there is a definite hit on a former member right on Earth, conveniently. Got an operative by the name of Danton Leveque here and it says that he's located in the city of Prague of what used to be the former Czech Republic before it was accumulated into the Russian Bloc."

"Hard to believe that there are still former Cerberus soldiers just lying around," Garrus observed. "Did the Alliance not get all of them when they smashed their base in the Horseshoe Nebula?"

"Apparently not, but that was probably expected as Cerberus ran several cells all over the galaxy. Add to the fact that the Crucible's detonation wiped out a good majority of the soldiers, as they had been implanted with Reaper tech –which we have learned did not react so well when exposed to that amount of energy."

"So why is this Leveque not among them?" Tali asked. "Why is he not a smoking pile of ash like the rest of Cerberus?"

"Ah," Liara grinned, "that's the promising part. It means that Leveque was never implanted with Reaper tech and we know from previous experience that Cerberus never implanted their officers or anyone considered somewhat important to the organization as their scientists were still worried about the prospects of indoctrination that it would affect long-term memory. Leveque being alive means that he was of some use to Cerberus. Perhaps he knows of key information that may be relevance to you."

"It's a good start," Tali conceded. "What else can you tell me about him?"

"Yeah," Garrus added. "What is this Leveque doing right now if he's not with Cerberus?"

"Keeping low, from the looks of things," Liara mused as she scanned the documents. "If I had time I could get an agent on him to compile a more detailed dossier but I'm assuming that you're more impatient and want to get this done as quickly as possible. From what I can tell, Leveque has been using his talents as a smuggler recently in Prague, working for an Icelandic crime lord known only as Argeir. Nasty man, that one. Argeir's crimes range from murder, arson, extortion, slave and sex trafficking, and others that compile quite the rap sheet. He also commands a fierce street gang that takes his brutal methods to heart. He's not someone you should trifle with, if you're going down there."

"Why haven't the police taken care of him yet?" Garrus asked, his mandibles twitching. "A person this dangerous would be hunted throughout the Citadel if he chose to hide out here."

"Lack of resources would be my guess. The city's still in complete disrepair from the war and there aren't enough officers available to take on a widespread gang, considering the amount of reconstruction projects that require constant monitoring. Argeir's got hundreds of men in his pocket, plus Leveque, and the police are undoubtedly run thin. If you're going to get Leveque to talk, you're going to have to do it in a way that doesn't draw Argeir's ire."

"We still don't know if this man knows how to find John," Tali groused.

Liara shrugged. "Then I guess you will have no way of finding out unless you actually go to him. I've also sent the list of possible candidates for information over to your omni-tools, but it is pretty short and Leveque is the best option for you to pursue compared to the few Cerberus officers that have been either heavily jailed or dropped off the map entirely."

"We'll look it over," Garrus nodded. "But I'd imagine that Tali would want to pursue Leveque first, knowing her determination."

"As if there was another choice?" Tali replied coyly, proving Garrus' point.

"Like I said," Garrus indicated as he stood up while he clumsily adjusted his collar. "Well, Liara, thank you for the help you've provided us. I'm sorry our visit was a bit too confrontational in the beginning, but it was good to see you."

"Likewise, Garrus," Liara smiled. "It was good to see you too. And you, Tali, as well. No hard feelings between us?"

"No," Tali shrugged with a forced smile. "None whatsoever." _Keep dreaming. Wait until John finds out how enthusiastic you've been with this news and we'll see how deeply our friendship has been rooted._

The two turned to leave but Liara abruptly raised a hand to stop them. "One more thing," she said.

"Yes?" Garrus intoned as he blinked skeptically.

"Remember when I said that the turians had raised an alert when the archives were broken into? Well, I looked at the private correspondence files from my turian contact and he revealed that the Primarch has already taken action into what he called, 'rectifying the situation.'"

"Rectifying the…" Garrus shook his head. "Did your contact happen to delve into more specifics or does he enjoy talking cryptically for the sake of presentation?"

Liara looked miffed at that. "What I mean is that mere hours after your escape from Palaven, the Primarch convened a meeting between himself and a Spectre, Verdis Nitherius, and quickly sent him off planet for a mission that was officially logged as near-object recon. Somehow, I don't think that sending a Spectre off planet just after they had a security break-in would lead to much speculation from an outsider's part."

"Damn," Garrus groaned. "Nitherius…that's going to make things difficult."

"Why?" Tali looked back and forth, her eyes growing wide with anticipation. "Who is this Nitherius?"

Garrus scratched the back of his fringe as he squeezed his eyes shut. "Verdis Nitherius is a turian that has embraced our ideology to the core, Tali. Loyalty, nation, that sort of thing. Point is, he's a turian with a strict moral code, and the fact that he's a Spectre makes him a deadly opponent in combat, seeing as he's received the best training available in the galaxy."

"So it can be assumed that he's on his way to bring you in," Liara added from her desk. "That could make things problematic for you guys."

"I'm sure we can hold him off," Garrus grimaced. "But this just means that we have to stay a few steps ahead of him. He's not the most forgiving of turians as he tends to beat his targets nearly to death because his standards are so 'pure' with upholding the very ideals of the Hierarchy as he takes transgressions against our species very personally. He's made a few statements recently that if he had been the one to take down Saren, he would have strung out his organs while pumping adrenaline into his heart to keep him alive, all before beheading him slowly. Unless he has orders not to harm us, I would rather not engage him in a one-on-one fight."

"That's not the worst of it," Liara grimaced. "I read of an incident when the previous Primarch, Fedorian, asked Nitherius to bring a batarian terrorist back from Khar'shan to stand trial and when Nitherius caught up with him, he beat the batarian so badly that he detached three of the man's four retinas in addition to breaking the man's legs. The turian apparently has a cybernetic left arm that allows him to hurt people well beyond the physical capability of any organic limb. He's been tied to at least twenty-three deaths from fatal head blows alone and has face a few reprimands as a result of his severe methods."

Tali was horrified. "But…he's a Spectre! Surely the Council would keep a fine leash on a vicious man like that, right?"

"Like the same way they kept a leash on Saren?" Garrus said sadly. "No, Tali, not this time. Nitherius is a Spectre, but he mainly answers to the Hierarchy, just like Shepard mostly answered to the Alliance. To my knowledge, there is nothing we can do to dissuade him from not bringing us in as he's the type of turian who just gets angrier if you try to bribe or reason with him. We're just going to have to stay clear of him however we can."

Tali felt her gut twist nervously. So many things were spiraling out of control and she had no way to slow any of it down. All she wanted was to find John and bring him home and now there was a hired killer supposedly on the lookout for both her and Garrus. Why couldn't things be simple for once? Why couldn't the galaxy just give her a tiny stroke of luck and not blow up in her face from anything she did?

If there was any time to launch in a rage and just fling things off the walls in anger, now seemed like a good time. Tali, however, kept her destructive urge in check. But she wondered just how long she could last until her willpower finally withered.

Tali suddenly felt tired.

* * *

She couldn't even remember bidding Liara farewell, nor did the elevator ride seem particularly lengthy to her. If Garrus made a desperate crack about her species in order to get her to talk as they traveled toward the ground, she did not hear it. The silence must have been awkward while they watched the Presidium rise up to them at an alarming speed, the wind whipping towards them as the ponds shone and the trees rustled in the breeze.

It was well into the morning rush hour by the time Tali and Garrus exited the lobby of the office building. Businesspeople from all walks of life bustled around the walkways of the Financial District, many of them talking on their personal communicators as they discussed nothing but business, drowning out the distractions of the Citadel around them. Skycars rushed through the open space through the connecting bridges, ferrying people from their residence to their place of work.

Tali rushed to the nearest taxi stand, Garrus right behind her, and they took their place in line for one the automated transports to pick them up. In five minutes, they had reached the start of the queue and quickly seated themselves in the liquid-resistant chairs and Tali inputted the Silversun Strip as the skycar's destination. The mass effect fields quickly lifted the small transport up and whisked it away through the bowels of the station, the effects of acceleration nonexistent to the passengers.

"Well," Garrus coughed in an effort to start up a conversation. "That was rather unequivocal."

"That cowardly _bitch_," Tali seethed. "How could Liara simply sit there after all we've been through together? Why would she be so averse to joining us?"

"I think I know why," Garrus suggested as he scratched a mandible. "I don't know if there's any truth to it or not, but…"

"But what?" Tali asked as she turned in her seat. "What could possibly be the reason as to Liara's behavior? What could you know about it?"

"I thought it was obvious. I mean, with that comment she made about retrieving Shepard's body and all…"

"That doesn't prove…" Tali began but dropped off, her brain coming to a conclusion. "No…that can't be it. There's no way that could be it…could it?"

Garrus looked positively nonplussed. "Please tell me you're joking."

"Joking? Why would I be joking?"

"Oh, for the love of…you're telling me that you never knew this whole time?"

"Knew? How…how was I supposed to know? How could I have known that?!" Tali almost screamed, her voice uncomfortably loud in the confined space. "Are you telling me that Liara is _jealous_?"

"I swear to you," Garrus defended, "I honestly thought you knew."

"N-No!" Tali was now reeling. "I honestly didn't know that! Why didn't she say anything instead of skirting around it like a child?"

"Do you really think that she would just open up to you, Tali? She's obviously wanted to say such a thing for a while now but respects her friendship with you as well as your relationship with Shepard too much to just out and blow everything up herself."

"But what was the point at even hinting at it in the first place?"

"Think about it," Garrus gestured. "Liara specifically mentioned that she was the one who retrieved Shepard's body for the first time back there. Why would she have done such a thing if not to expect some gratitude in the future, in case anything came of it? Why do you think she acted so stiffly afterward when she eventually realized that Shepard was with _you_, despite all she had done? Liara expected Shepard to fall for her once he realized how much she sacrificed to bring him back."

"But…John didn't fall for her. He chose me!"

"And that's precisely the point," Garrus articulated with a finger. "Why do you think that Liara acted so stiffly to you for those concurrent months? She expected to be with Shepard at that point, but he had fallen for you, so that meant that all the work she accomplished to bring him back just about amounted to _nothing_. She just wanted to make sure you knew that today instead of blurting it all out in the open."

Tali froze in her seat, her eyes uncomprehending. "I…I just thought that she was upset about the war that whole time. John never made any indication that he thought of Liara that way when I first met him. Liara never showed any interest in John in front of me either."

"Well, you just happened to walk into the workplace of a woman who was unintentionally scorned by Shepard and bluntly requested her help so that he could be reunited with you, the person who caused the rift to begin with. What else do you think that Liara meant when she said that she 'couldn't go through that again?' I'll bet my life savings that she was referring to getting her heart broken by playing a part in helping Shepard come back from the dead only to find him go to someone else for comfort."

"_Keelah_," Tali moaned as she held her face in her hands. All this time, she had never suspected the tension between her and Liara. She felt like an idiot, a blind fool. If she were to somehow phase through the floor of the skycar and fall into the reflecting pool below then that wouldn't be a bad way to drop out and force her thoughts to turn to something less mortifying.

Garrus sat thoughtfully for a moment before he gently placed a hand on Tali's shoulder. The feelings that resulted from the contact were calming and gratifying. "Relax, Tali," Garrus said softly. "I won't harp you about it anymore. Liara never wanted to start a fight with you, but she just wanted you to understand how much she was hurting. For now, let's just head on over to your apartment and refresh for the rest of the day. Tomorrow, we can start our work and begin the search together. You and me, just like the old days. The only dextros on the team, having the back of our commander."

_She's not the only one hurting._

"_John's_ apartment," Tali corrected bluntly as she stared off into space. "It's still his apartment too."

"It belongs to the both of you," Garrus gently emphasized. "Everything he owns is yours, remember? That was the way he wanted it and that's the way it is."

Tali glanced at Garrus and for a brief moment, he could have sworn he saw the faint ghost of a smile through the visor of the quarian, the closets he had ever come to envisioning the woman imprisoned inside of the suit. "And that's the way it will be," she replied, with a faint tinge of sadness imparted upon her voice.

She was already feeling better about Liara, though. Tali made a mental note that the next time she would see the asari, she would initiate an honest heart-to-heart where they could expose how they truly felt to the other. She felt bad about insulting Liara behind her back and realized that, despite all that had occurred between them, she still valued her friendship greatly.

Tali, knowing what she had left, did not want to lose any more friends.

* * *

Due to the nature of the universal skycar design, it was impossible for any passengers to look directly behind them through the windows. There were external cameras designed for such a thing but could only be engaged if the people inside deliberately switched them on. As it was, Tali and Garrus remained unaware that another skycar, parked the entire time in the Financial District lot, had taken off at precisely the same time as theirs and had followed their path exactly through the Citadel, not even being cautious with regards to getting spotted.

It was a distinct oversight on the manufacturer's part, and one that Paav'Inera was counting on completely. With the controls on manual, the black and gold suited quarian easily matched the automated paths his quarry's transport was taking them and never took his eyes off of his target. Winding his way through the support struts and access tunnels, his breathing never once changed its pace, nor did he feel worried that the people ahead of him would suddenly become wise to his act.

Caution overriding any instincts in his brain, Paav gently decelerated the craft and hung back a ways as they entered the crowded flight space of the Silversun Strip. He had an idea where his prey was headed and he did not want to rush things. He chose an empty spot at a nearby lot and set down several spaces away from the craft he had been pursuing. Electing to sit inside for a minute, he watched the purple hooded quarian and her armored turian friend exit their vehicle and proceeded directly to an apartment block just down the avenue. Paav squinted his eyes in anticipation and felt the tension in his lungs as they inflated and deflated in rhythm while he watched through the darkened canopy of his transport.

Now the waiting game would begin in earnest.

* * *

**A/N: The business trip to Florida went successfully, but the delays that accumulated mean that I'll be posting Sunday nights/Monday mornings from now on. This will be advantageous as my knee surgery on Monday will now most likely not result in a delay for the next chapter, due to the timing. Thankfully, I'll have _Arkham Knight_ to keep me company while I'm bedridden for the next week.**

**A few more pieces have been added to the overall puzzle now. Where could Shepard be? I'm hoping the slow pace of the story is not driving anyone crazy but it's done deliberately to avoid setting up certain scene for them to end anticlimactically. That has been a problem that has plagued several of my stories so I'm honestly trying my damnedest to make sure that the pacing of _Irreparable_ is done organically and has actual flow rather than have it be comprised of choppy sentences of dialogue and limp battle sequences.**

**If you still take umbrage at that and, for some reason, desire more sloppiness in my writing, shoot a PM my way requesting crappier prose and I'll immediately send the message to the bin with all the glee one could possibly muster for clicking on a bitmapped icon.**

**(Phew. Got all the sarcasm out for today. Sorry about that tangent.)**

**And on that bombshell, any and all reviews appreciated! You have no idea how happy they make me so please shoot this soon-to-be-immobile writer a blurb and don't be afraid to ask questions! But I'm not giving out any spoilers! No spoilers for you!**


	8. Chapter 7: Untimely Fantasy

John Shepard Citadel

Nitherius' towering presence made everyone instinctively create a swath as he walked back to the table he had previously reserved on the second floor of the Silversun Strip food court. He held a simple cup of water in one hand and a tray of fried seafood in the other, his dinner for the day. The dark turian shuffled into his seat and removed the mini-camera he had placed on the railing, which had been aimed at the far hallway in the corner a floor below him. He made a quick run-though of the footage it recorded in his absence and found that it contained nothing of pertinent interest to him, that his mobile objectives had yet to leave the safety of their bungalow.

Guess now was as good of a time as any for him to eat.

Nitherius used his remaining organic limb to delicately pick up the crispy and golden fish while he kept a visual on the doorway in question the entire time. Munching on the meat, the bones cracking quietly in his mouth, Nitherius chewed slowly while he continued to appraise the situation at hand. At the same time, he found himself enjoying his meal; he never starved while on Palaven but the military-grade meals left a lot to be desired. By traveling abroad, and with his amount of per diem, he was not going to pass up any opportunities for real food during this assignment.

His metal fingers were twitching again, producing a sigh from Nitherius. His artificial arm, while incredibly useful, still had some kinks as a result of the imperfect grafting process. He spilled out a couple anti-rejection pills from a slot on his arm onto his hand and downed them without any liquid, hoping that would quell the phantom pain stemming from his imagination. Still, an arm was better than no arm.

He finished his meal quickly, which managed to quiet his grumbling stomach before he produced a pouch from his pocket. Nitherius tore it open and tipped the stimulant powder into his water and stirred it with a provided stick. That should keep him alert for half the day without him needing to succumb to a nutrient crash. He was still glancing at the door on the lower level when he brought the cup to his mouth and took a sip.

It took everything he had not to wince. The powder made the water taste extremely bitter, but he could not afford to doze off at any moment. Nitherius needed his senses keen and sharp, and he needed to be alert at all times in case his quarry went on the move. There would be plenty of chances to sleep later.

In a sense, Nitherius was disappointed when he first arrived at the Citadel to find out that both Tali'Zorah and Garrus Vakarian had been completely predictable in their movements. Any good hunter always studied their prey beforehand (which Nitherius had plenty of time to do while in transit from Palaven) and he knew that Zorah had an apartment on the Strip in her name, willed to her by the formerly living Spectre, John Shepard. Nitherius had never met Shepard personally, but many of his peers did. They all seemed to respect the man immensely, commenting on his leadership, his prowess in battle, but each anecdote was always capped off with the same comment: "_It's too bad he wasn't a turian._"

Turian or not, the human had been inspiring enough to lead his own rabble of congregated species around the galaxy on countless suicide missions. Even Nitherius had to admit that it took serious talent to manage so many expectations at once amongst such divergent cultures and constantly deliver lest he lose their loyalty or respect. Then again, it was Shepard's type of management that helped win the war with his open-minded collaborations so he might have set a posthumous precedent for being completely unpredictable with regards to problem solving.

This made the situation right now all the more anticlimactic. Nitherius half-expected Zorah and Vakarian to be long on their way when he first set foot on the station, but after he hacked into the closed-circuit visual loops on the outside block cameras, he had discovered that they had only been holed up in their apartment for an hour or so. They must have stopped at another destination while on their way here which had taken up a good chunk of time. To his knowledge, they were still there, as these apartments never had more than one exit apart from crashing out the windows and spilling into the bottomless rifts. He knew that much as he'd already hacked the floor plans just to confirm that Shepard had not ordered any secret passages built before his untimely departure, so he was fairly confident that he was still on top of things at the moment.

Besides, Nitherius had the element of surprise out here. Storming the apartment, blinded by impatience, was a move tantamount to suicide if he foolishly decided to take such a reckless course of action. There was not enough intel on his end to determine if Zorah and Vakarian had any special security systems installed, weapon caches for them to easily access, or if there was a full militia employed by the two of them just waiting for someone stupid to come up and ring the bell unannounced. Compared to the unknown alternatives, waiting sounded just fine from his point of view.

Continuing to sip at his acerbic drink, Nitherius narrowed his eyes as he waited patiently in his seat. He could wait here for as long as it needed to take. There was no need to rush. He was in control of the entire situation.

Except for one thing.

Despite the bustle of the night life around the Strip; patrons flocking to the casino to practically give away their life savings, groups of teenagers embarking on bar crawls to exhibit themselves in contests of drunkenness, and the laughter of couples as they perused around the avenues while waiting for the perfect time to cohabit, everyone was befallen to one constant in this place: motion. No one sat still on the Strip for very long; even patrons of restaurants, as the natural flow of this level of the Citadel practically invited people to be moving all the time – to run beneath the neon and the holographic haze while the polished translucent tiles oozed a modern sensibility.

Nitherius fully knew that he had not moved from his spot at the table for at least two hours which would open him up to suspicion for any trained individual scoping out their surroundings, but what was interesting was that someone had been staying put in another spot for a little bit longer. Down in the courtyard, occupying a small table that lay completely bare – indicating that this individual had not consumed anything since their arrival, Nitherius could see clearly from the balcony a medium-sized quarian who wore a suit of black and gold, coincidentally staring at the same place he had been for the past hour: the entrance to Zorah's apartment complex.

He had been playing this game for too long that he could spot an amateur on sight. Nitherius snorted at the stupidity of the quarian, who while engrossed in his stakeout, was unaware that he was being observed. He looked to be at least a head smaller than Nitherius, which was not an uncommon occurrence, so that allowed the turian to feel a small burst of confidence – some in part from his already tested abilities.

This was interesting, so Nitherius quickly produced a pair of slim goggles that slipped comfortably over his face. He switched the lenses on and blinked away the holographic icons that shone through the circular openings. Nitherius used the zoom function to zero in on the quarian firmly fixated on the door, quickly spotting the insignia of a commander on the quarian's shoulder.

_A commander_, Nitherius mused. _A soldier sent off on to run an errand for his superiors. If he were on duty, though, wouldn't he have simply shown up at the door and knocked for entrance? There's no reason why a quarian commander would be sitting in front of the door of arguably one of the most famous quarians in the galaxy unless he did not wish his presence to be revealed just yet. Did Zorah do something to bring the wrath of her own people on her head, or is this something else entirely? _

Nitherius did take note that, although the quarian commander was a trained soldier, the fact that they were a quarian seemed to have had an effect on the man's ability to perform reconnaissance. For one, quarians were not the most inconspicuous of species, most likely stemming from their expressionless visors and misaligned stereotypes brought down upon them – attracting the unwanted attention of bystanders for the erroneous fear that quarians would beg or steal from them once they had made eye contact. The whole situation that had plagued the quarians was ironic as they generally detested thievery in their culture and they worked hard to punish such crimes within their society since before their banishment off their homeworld. The problem was that with the culmination of the Morning War, the quarians had to work hard to convince other species of their integrity once the negative stigmas began to spread due to their arrogance with artificial intelligence testing. An intent to please combined with a xenophobic gut instinct in their peers had left quarians not being able to integrate themselves into galactic society as quickly as other species, rendering recent outsiders painfully evident.

This was the exact sort of thing that was vexing the quarian commander, even if he was not aware of it. Nitherius could not help but criticize the quarian while he removed his goggles, silently observing that if the commander's mission was going to be more effective, then he should be observing all his surroundings instead of looking at one fixed point, have chosen a better observation point rather than one which left him exposed to a clear line of sight from anyone who exited the apartment blocks, and have taken into account the how painfully obvious his being a quarian was in such a high-volume area.

Nitherius, by contrast, had chosen a spot with a good vantage point on the second floor and had natural cover from railings and potted plants concealing his view from the ground. He was practically invisible to the quarian, and to his prey when they would inevitably exit. The only problem was that the quarian commander was closer than he was to Zorah and Vakarian, which would give him the opportunity to make the first strike. Nitherius would have to work on some ideas for how to take control of the situation when it would inevitably crop up, but his training told him to stay put and be patient instead of squabble for a better spot. Targets got away like if conflicts between hunters arose, and more people than necessary would get hurt if that happened.

And someone was definitely going to get hurt today. He just knew it.

"You want a refill on that, sir?" a pleasant voice said, rousing Nitherius from his thoughts. Although he was startled, he betrayed no reaction and looked up emotionlessly at the curvy asari waiter that was holding a pitcher of water in her hands. Condensation dripped down the clear container and the blue-skinned alien looked concerned as he took perhaps a second longer than normal to respond.

"Might as well," he indicated as he slid his empty glass over, quickly averting his eyes so that the waitress could not see the intensity in his gaze.

He hated it when people stared.

* * *

The apartment had not changed much since the last time she had set eyes on it. The automated cleaning drones had done the monotonous duty of clearing the settling dust each day and as a result, the place still looked brand spanking new. Each item of furniture was set in the same place and even the fire was lit within the hearth, creating the perfect setting to walk into, although it was more likely that a remote scanner had detected Tali's omni-tool as she approached the door down the hall and had ignited the flames in preparation to greet the residents instead of it being lit all the time. That was the more likely option.

The place still retained the mixture of synthetic and organic materials that gave every room a very hip feel to it. Most of the bits that were provided for decoration were pieces from the previous owner's collection: David Anderson, who had eventually given the apartment over to Shepard before he would pass it over to Tali. She had to appreciate Anderson's artistic sense, as Shepard, despite how much she loved the man, had terrible taste in art. Paintings and sculptures had never seemed to interest him but apparently Anderson had just the eye for that sort of thing, or at least a better one. It made the place seem a bit more lived in, a little less empty.

Tali knew that, deep down, she had a home on Rannoch but was prone to asking herself how she could possibly think that living there was more advantageous than this. There was no way that she would have ever been able to afford an apartment like this by herself, Shepard's vast accounts notwithstanding and the fact that on the Citadel there was no need to worry about resource shortages, reinforcing infrastructures, or anything else that pertained to guiding scores of civilians. She could just be a random face in the crowd again, just one more person living inside the station's sheltered arms. She could no longer be an admiral here and just be Tali'Zorah, a rich quarian holed up on the Citadel while pining for her lost love.

_Yeah, that has a tragic edge to it._

Tali had broached the idea about selling the place a few times previously but that was always wiped off her mental map as soon as it reached the station. There was a part of her that disliked having all of this space available all to herself while her people were living in poverty on Rannoch's surface, but the apartment contained too many wonderful memories for her to just callously sign it off her balance sheet. Those precious moments were priceless to her and she could never part with them willingly, even if they were rather fleeting in the grand scheme of time.

The party that had transpired here right before the war had ended had been a huge catharsis for her psyche, even though it had only lasted one night of her life. Tali fondly remembered the entire crew lounging around the multiple rooms of the apartment, having an all-around good time and participating in friendly banter while the latest musical hits blasted out of the custom speakers in the living room. She then of course had gotten a little intoxicated due to her exuberance with the provided alcohol, thus requiring her to be carried upstairs by Shepard so that she wouldn't embarrass herself in public. She had missed out on the rest of the party, but by the time she sobered up, she found herself lying in bed just as Shepard was settling down for the night, whereupon the two quietly made love so as to not disturb the rest of the resting partygoers. _That_ was undoubtedly the best part of the entire event.

While Tali stared off into space, recalling tender memories, Garrus had already wandered into the kitchen after he peeled off the top half of his armor. He set it down by the sink and immediately opened the fridge, intent on raiding it for sustenance. He peered inside its depths and gave a satisfied nod, pleased with its contents. Whoever had used the place last had seen fit to completely stock the refrigerator up with food catering to all walks of life, just in case anyone needed something to eat on short notice.

_That had to be Liara_, Garrus thought. _She was always best at planning ahead._

Garrus brought out a frozen cuisine dish and quickly glanced at Tali, who was now looking forlornly at the huge picture on the wall, the one with the entire _Normandy_ crew assembled in front of the couch. Garrus stopped what he was doing and cleared his throat, tearing Tali away from glancing at her still-life counterpart, who instead of being wrapped in an embrace by a happy looking human, was standing on the ground, still and alone.

"You…uh, want me to make you something?" Garrus said as he jerked his thumb back to the refrigerator. "There's a couple of food tubes in the back. I can heat one up, if you wish."

The need for food had not imparted itself upon Tali and it still had yet to do that. She had all of a few morsels from the time she left Rannoch but her stomach seemed to have shrunken to the size of a bean during that time.

"Um…no thanks, Garrus," Tali mumbled. "I'm not hungry right now. I'm actually going to lie down for a bit upstairs." She made a sweeping gesture across the apartment. "Feel free to …err…do whatever you want, I guess."

Garrus passed her a curious glance as the quarian ascended the stairs, but quickly shrugged it off. Grabbing his food from the re-heater plus a beer, he plopped himself down in front of the huge vidscreen and fired up a bioti-ball game. If there was a better way to relax than this, then he had not heard of it. For a moment, he questioned whether he should check up on Tali before she retired for the night but eventually decided against it. If she wanted to be left alone, it was probably best that she be left alone. It had been a hectic day, after all.

Tali, meanwhile, entered into the room on the top floor, and promptly gave out a sigh. A well-made bed and snappy desk greeted her like she was about to jump right in and use them, just like before. The angular theme from the foyer had drifted into this room too, slightly putting her off with its too-clean lines and abrupt polygonal shapes. The few wood panels nailed into the walls did their best to alleviate the offsetting effect, bringing a touch of the familiar into what was otherwise a blank canvas.

The neat state of the room dimly reminded Tali about how the last time she had set foot inside here, she had cried herself to sleep over the loss of John. That was an awful memory, her curled up on the bed by herself with the notion that there were mourners gathered on the floor below her. _Mourners!_ Briefly, she had the notion to turn on her heel and go into the other room in order to get some rest there to avoid such a painful reminiscence.

But, the more considered it, the crazier it sounded. John was not going to be gone for much longer, and this was _her_ room too, damn it! What right did she have to be afraid of this place, her home? Defiantly, but with an energized streak, Tali marched on over to the bed and set herself down upon the right side, making her body as straight as possible in order to take up the least amount of room. That was one tic from her upbringing that she was not going to get rid of anytime soon: always take up the least amount of space as possible. Wasted space was wasted lives, as her father was fond of saying.

Unconsciously as she began to lie there, Tali's limbs began to spread apart as she grew accustomed to the yielding mattress of the bed, despite whatever natural instincts had been honed in her brain. This was the most relaxed she had been in a while, courtesy of the human flair for comfortable living. It was rare that she had time to spend in a real bed, as for most of her life she had thought that the thinly cushioned cots on the flotilla were as comfortable as things could get. Right now, she felt like she was sitting on a cloud, floating above the troubles of the mortal world, freed from these cursed bonds of life.

What other bonds were tying her to this place, now that she thought about it? It was obvious: Shepard was the reason she was here now and it would continue to be the reason when she would bring him back to this place, free to spend the rest of her life with him like she had been promised. They could even reenact the very thing that had occurred the first night the two spent in this room together. In fact, she would insist on that being the foremost action accomplished between them once they would be all settled.

Wouldn't that be nice?

_It would start with him sauntering into that room, flashing that roguish grin of his, while she would be lying on her side seductively on the bed, waiting for him to come closer. She would call out to him and he would immediately grant her request and crawl over to her, wrapping his burly strong arms around her petite waist and giving her the fiercest hug in her life._

_Hugging was the best for it was an action she could accomplish all the time, even with her suit on, and it never failed to generate a positive and tingling sensation whenever John did it to her. Just the pressure from his larger body against hers would create the spark responsible for the wildfire that would not stop raging until it had been properly doused._

_When one or the other's impatience levels reached their maximum, they would initiate in the removal of her mask, whereupon kissing could commence passionately. That was what she craved most of all these days: a kiss. Brushing two pairs of sensitive skin and lightly sucking gave her such a dopamine rush that it immediately would steal her breath, dousing her in a fog of passion that would not dissolve until all of the anticipation had been driven out of her. _

_When things would escalate, she would find the sensation of her tongue sliding against John's to be delectable and overpowering, making her want more. As they would make out, their hands would begin to operate on minds of their own, grasping at everything within reach, gently stroking and squeezing. The lust rising from their fierce groping and the panting into each other's mouths turned them into beasts, craving that raw, unbridled heat._

_It would usually be her who would start in the shedding of her suit, as this was too delicate of an operation for clumsy human hands. She found those aforementioned clumsy human hands so endearing regardless, as it indicated to her that John was just as nervous as she was during this part, despite the fact that it was her who was taking most of the risks. Strangely, since the first time she had removed her suit, she had never been too concerned about getting sick from exposure. It was a funny thing what the implications of sex did to one's mind. Regardless, butterflies would be mobbing in their stomachs right about now at this critical moment. Appendages like those could only tug greedily at the loose portions as she unclasped each individual section one by one. She had done this process more often in the last year compared to the majority of her life that it would only take less than ten minutes to complete. John would have his comparatively flimsy clothing long discarded by then, leaving the two of them to explore the other's naked body as they lay there on the bed._

_In the initial moments since removing her suit, she would make small movements so as not to be overwhelmed by the more intense stimuli now having free access to her skin. Silk from the bed felt so rough like it almost seemed that it was rubbing her raw. The air conditioning from the vents felt like a blizzard pelting icicles at her, making her shiver. The beating of John's heart, though, was so firm and so heavy that it seemed to calm her nerves, forcing her own heartbeat to get in time with the human's as they thudded against the other like drums._

_His hands always were slow, his calloused palms slid over everything in sight. He knew what she liked best – more of everything. As they would hug once more, their kisses would only get deeper as their arousal went higher. The naked human against her just felt so wonderful! A giant wall of flesh and muscle all to herself, protecting her like a shield._

_There was nary a time when she would not do anything for this man. Not after he had exposed her to such pleasurable sensations such as this. It only took one sexual experience for her to become fully addicted – to life outside the suit, to feel the universe as it was meant to be felt, and to love someone so openly without boundaries. _

If only she could feel that way one more time…

_At this point, John would begin his descent downward, sucking and licking at the soft flesh of her neck, eliciting shivers and prickly skin from her. This was the part where she usually devolved into a quivering and boneless mass. She would stroke his scalp while he fondled her breasts, giving each of them ample attention before he reached his destination just below her waist._

_Knowing what was coming, she would part her legs eagerly and wait for the feeling of his warm lips and tongue on her, and for the tidal wave of pleasure to wash over her. She craved the hot feeling of his hands stroking her stomach as he would begin his oral ministrations and for her body to writhe as her pleasure would be carried with the ebb and flow of the heat._

_That heat…it was what she always wanted. The heat._

_The heat._

_Oh Keelah…the heat…_

With a start, Tali gasped and jolted as she now had to pry her hand away from what it had been doing without her immediate knowledge. The moan rushed out from her mouth like air out of a balloon and her glowing eyes were wide, horrified at the growing spasm that now began to wrack her body like she was being electrocuted. She shuddered as the euphoric sensation momentarily peaked before it sputtered out unceremoniously, leaving her deadweight on the bed, limp and panting.

Her teeth chattering, Tali became aware of the sweat that had beaded on her face. Her throat felt raspy like she had been shouting for a long time. Her muscles gave out painful stabs as they gradually began to unclench, angered at having been tensed so immediately.

Fighting with cursing out, Tali dragged herself to the head of the bed and began to play with the covers before slipping her feet under them in shame. She looked at her palm, which was shaking slightly and aching, like it had been working for hours. Her lips were still quivering as was her chest, but it was her mind that had yet to decipher how she should regard this development.

_He's still out there…but I still miss him._

The aftereffects of the orgasm had passed by now, but Tali still felt hot underneath her suit. Furious, she beat the bed repeatedly with her hands, leaving momentary indents in the cushioned surface. Tali was disgusted with herself, angered at the fact that she had lost control and allowed herself to think that, for a brief moment, she would never be with John again. Right there, Tali made a vow to never put herself in this situation again, not until she had brought him back. She yanked the covers up and over her chest in determination, encasing herself in a ball for her to hide her embarrassment from the invisible eyes silently judging her.

She dearly hoped that Garrus had not heard anything.

* * *

Thankfully, he had heard nothing…or at least it appeared to be that way.

The next morning was a bit awkward from Tali's end as she sat at the kitchen island, dutifully sucking up the remnants of a flavored food tube (some egg and meat mix – quite tasty) while taking surreptitious glances at Garrus while he too ate his reheated meal. He gave no indication that he had heard the noises that she had made while lost in her haze of confusion the night before and was thankful that he had not brought it up if he did.

But there was still a stiff silence between them, but that could have been from Garrus' stern concentration onto the datapad that he was perusing as he brought a fork to his mouth, reading headline after headline on the many newsfeeds. Several times he would stop at an advertisement from a gun shop that he had previously perused and would make a noise of appreciation or consternation, depending if they were having a sale on an item he wanted and how much the prices had been slashed.

Tali had little need for more material possessions, seeing as this apartment carried more items than she would have bought by herself throughout her natural lifespan. Anything else would be extraneous and would make her out to be greedy by her peers. She most certainly did not need her minibar to be stocked with the best liquor in the galaxy, install an additional weapons rack to fit a minigun onto it, or purchase a custom sound system for to embed into every single wall so that she could experiment more with what passed for music amongst the races of the Citadel throughout every room. Point was, she had a lot of money but little drive to spend it.

What one of the few things she had done with her savings, though, was arrange for Shepard's fish to be transferred from the _Normandy_ into an aquarium in the kitchen. They were one of the few things the human had in his life (the hamster had died shortly after the war from old age) and she thought it would be only right if they were housed in a place where they would remain his property a little more. The automated feeder and cleaner took care of the work for her, leaving the fish to be pretty on the eyes for anyone chancing upon them. Besides, they had been her favorite decoration in the old ship. It reminded her of the best home she had ever lived in.

Garrus seemed to have no qualms at spending his vast fortunes willy-nilly so he continued to fantasize some more while he drooled over the newest machine gun model available to the public: the M-76X Revenant (_"X for Extreme!"_ as the advertisement blared). Tali had no desire to add yet another gun to her collection, much less a machine gun that would shake her arm out of her socket when the trigger was pulled, so she continued to swallow down her nutrient sludge until Garrus' imagination had been properly satiated and the datapad had been stowed away.

She set her empty tube to the side and clasped her hands together while Garrus wiped his mouth after finishing off his breakfast. "So," he cleared his throat, "is there anything that I should know before we head out today or did you want to 'wing it' as usual?"

"Hm?" Tali turned her head, distracted.

"The _mission_, Tali," Garrus pressed with a blank look. "We're going to find Danton Leveque, remember? How did you want to tackle accomplishing that?"

"Oh, right," Tali nodded with an embarrassed gulp. "Him. Well, I looked over the information Liara provided us, actually. It mentioned that Leveque usually keeps out of the occupied zones to conduct his business so I thought that simply paying him a visit would be a good start."

Garrus resisted the urge to snort. "So what if he's expecting us? You have a plan in case that happens as well?"

"Why would he be expecting us at all?"

"I don't know," Garrus shrugged sarcastically. "Maybe it's because we haven't been exactly subtle with trapesing around the galaxy, looking for clues and what not. Since this started you've punched an admiral and broken into a military installation while managing to involve me in the process. Somehow I'm not expecting many things in the future to proceed cleanly."

"If you want out, you can leave at any time."

"I didn't say that," Garrus scowled. "I'm only indicating to you that it would be wise to think everything through _before_ we act from now on."

Tali leaned forward slowly, the movement almost menacing. "Playing it safe will only take too long, Garrus. I've waited for over a year for this to happen and I will not waste one more second!"

"Tali, I'm just saying-"

"I _will not_ lose John again!" she seethed as she violently stood up, managing to knock over her empty food tube where it clattered onto the tile and rolled away. "He's counting on me to save him! We both promised that we would find each other eventually! _I_ promised him that I would-"

Tali broke off as her words vanished from her throat. She slowly sat back down, aware that she was looking like a raving lunatic standing up and further emphasizing her point to someone that was on her side to begin with. She was embarrassed again and the sensation of bile pooling in her stomach began to gurgle sourly within her.

Garrus still looked rather confused. "Promised him what?" he asked. "Tali, what are you talking about?"

"It's…nothing," she brushed off, cursing at how her loose lips almost slipped up. "_Just a silly pledge from a silly girl_," she breathed so softly into her mask that her vocabulator did not materialize the words. Would Garrus understand all that had transpired between her and Shepard? No, what was their business was their business alone. He would not have to understand but could only accept it at this point.

"_He's waiting for me…_" she whispered a little more loudly this time, but Garrus fidgeted in his seat like he had heard it. Tali clamped her jaw shut and focused on bringing herself back to the real world, trying to extricate herself from her fantasizing.

In the corner of her eye, she caught the blue edge of the aquarium again. She was momentarily transfixed by the aqua color of the water, but at the regality of the lifeforms teeming inside, from the bloated wake created by the pufferfish to the ironic crawl of the cuttlefish grazing amongst the sand and grit of the bottom.

What put her under a brief spell was the bright red of a small fish as he danced around the tank. It was a brilliant red, like blood, and the fish seemed to sparkle as he spun to and fro in the water. Tali did not think she had seen that fish before and made a note to ask if anyone had made additions to the tank while she had been away. Perhaps Liara had added an additional member to the tank to replace one that had perished in her absence. Whatever the reason, she liked this new arrival the best.

Meanwhile, Garrus was tapping away with his fingers on the brushed onyx of the island, eyes slitting further with every second. "Look, Tali," he said finally, "I understand that you're upset and you have every right to be. But we have to focus on what's coming next, not the goal that's far out of reach. If we do that, then we'll be blindsided before we even get to see Shepard again, so are you listening?"

"Yes," Tali replied, now giving the turian her undivided attention.

"Okay, so first we are going to do this thing right, just like Shepard showed us. Most important: no engaging the militia. They get one sniff that we're onto Leveque and we're suddenly in a fight for our lives. Secondly, we're going to analyze the data that Liara gave us in order to find out where Leveque operates and where he needs to go in order to get under Argeir's wing. Therefore, we need to approach Leveque from a direction that discourages him from running to his master."

Garrus grabbed the datapad and booted up a page. "I've already done some work on the subject. The city we're going to contains a river that splits the downtown area in half. Argeir's on the west side while Leveque operates on the east. The river creates a perfect boundary for him, so we need to approach _from_ the riverside towards his location and cut him off if he tries to make a break for another crossing."

He lifted his eyes and saw Tali already strapping a pistol to her hip. "Do you want me to continue or should I save the briefing for the trip down there?"

"What do you think?" Tali retorted snidely.

"Figured as much," the turian grumbled as he slid the datapad away. "Maybe then you'll be a little less _impatient_…"

The two spent the next few minutes taking a few guns from the small armory on the ground floor after they had gone about cleaning up the kitchen. While the dishes were in the washer, being scoured free, Tali hooked a shotgun to her back plus a submachine gun. An assault rifle also managed to squeeze into the space that she had left for armaments. She fitted a bandolier of extra thermal clips around her waist and tightened the strap. She even hooked a few more clips to her arm holsters before she pronounced herself fit for duty. Her equipment made her a little top heavy but she was confident that she could take the extra weight.

Garrus also selected an assault rifle from the rack, but was a little more deliberate with his other selections. A Widow sniper rifle was delicately pried free from its place upon the shelf and two Carnifex pistols were secured snugly on his sides. He grabbed a bag and filled it with extra clips and grenades before he slung it over his shoulder, ready to move out.

With everything in order between the two, they both wordlessly walked towards the foyer and Tali shared one last glance at the apartment before the door shut behind her. She hoped that she would return to it soon. As much as Rannoch held a special place in her heart, she dearly wanted to stay in this place some more.

Soon, they were back into the busy and noisy cauldron of the Strip, the sound of the crowd nearly barreling them over as they adjusted to the new volume. The apartment had done such a good job of dampening the outside voices that it could have drowned out a firefight for all Tali knew. Garrus led the way out from the corridor, glancing left and right before heading off for the direction of their hangar. It was only a few floors above them so they were not going to bother with a skycar. An elevator would do just nicely.

Tali began to lag behind Garrus as she looked around the neon halls, the reflections bouncing back in wavy stripes across her visor. She looked back at herself within the confines of a glassed of advertisement as she passed by. Bewildered if the armed warrior standing back at her across the way was really her, she straightened her shoulders in confirmation. The reflection did the same.

_Keelah, do I really look like that?_

With the amount of armaments strapped around her enviro-suit, Tali could see nothing of the person who had stepped foot onto this very station armed with a simple pistol and some staggering evidence against a rogue Spectre all those years ago. Now here she was, a disgraced admiral of the fleet, a tested soldier and combatant, burst from the fires of hell to loose damnation upon her enemies.

The words of Javik, the Prothean unearthed from the ruins of Eden Prime, dimly rung in the corner of her memory. Members of his species embodied different virtues that catered to their personality and overall direction. Javik had been an Avatar of vengeance among his people and Tali surmised that she carried that same virtue within her right now. It was her sole purpose that drove her down this path, just like the Prothean had been determined to avenge his long dead race.

At least she knew that this path would not end with an honorable suicide. Javik had already taken his life several months ago in the place where his comrades perished during the final stand of the Protheans, in order to rejoin them in the afterlife, or wherever his conscience led him. For her, there was a light at the end of this tunnel, a beacon so bright that not even death would dare show its face. She would rise, victorious.

She had spent too long staring at her own echo in the glass that when the image of a faint outline appeared to come up behind her a bit too quickly for her liking, she was too slow to react properly.

Tali felt someone tug her wrist painfully behind her back and she hissed in surprise. Another hand placed itself on her shoulder and she was forced into an uncomfortable position while the grip on her wrist slid upwards slightly, the edge of a finger sliding underneath one of the fabric folds wrapped around her arm.

"Tali'Zorah," a stern voice announced. "Do not struggle. Don't make this more difficult than it already is."

She recognized that voice, despite only sharing a few words with the person previously, but the encounter was so fresh that she was able to put a face together instantly.

"Paav!" She exclaimed as the quarian commander forcibly restrained her. "What the hell are you _doing?!_"

"What I was tasked to do," Paav said emotionlessly. He kept his arms tensed to prevent Tali from slipping out of his hold. Quickly, he released the hand on her shoulder and began fumbling around in a back pocket for a set of omni-cuffs, the orange bands lighting when he touched them. Now all he had to do was get them around his prisoner's wrists before anything else happened.

"Raan put you up to this, didn't she?" Tali seethed as she bent forward, her boots scraping at the ground in a feral attempt to escape, but Paav did not budge, being too strong for her. "She sent you to stop me!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm doing this for your own good, Tali!" Paav grunted as he tried to reel the woman back in. "You're coming with me back to Rannoch where you can-"

"_Hey!_" a loud voice barked from down the hall, startling Paav from the loudness of the shout. Garrus, having finally noticed that Tali had not been right at his back, had turned around to see her in the grip of another, more armored quarian just meters away. Now the turian had broken out in a run, pistol in hand, intent on tackling Paav to the ground to free Tali from his clutches.

Paav saw Garrus barreling towards him and he froze in place. His hands were already occupied which meant he could not reach for a weapon to ward off the onrushing turian, but that would hardly be the most immediate problem in the span of a few seconds. The hand that held the omni-cuffs slipped off of Tali's wrist, failing to ensnare her, and she took her chance in that moment. She wrenched Paav's hand around and rotated in place for her to place a palm strike upon the commander's chest with her own omni-tool engaged.

The quarian commander yelled out as the electrified burst seared directly into his chest cavity, emitted from Tali's tool, and his twitching fingers released Tali fully, allowing her to step away. He sunk to his knees, too consumed by pain to do anything else, and was further incapacitated when Tali swung her fist and firmly hit the side of his helmet. Paav sprawled on the ground, a few tiny cracks climbed their way up his visor from the point that Tali's knuckles had made contact. His vision blurred and he felt dizzy.

As he struggled to get to his feet, he could see through his impaired vision, the silhouettes of both Tali and Garrus running through the crowds to vanish in plain sight towards the elevator bays. Growling and cursing under his breath while ignoring the stares from passerby at the seemingly drunken quarian, Paav clenched his teeth and began to move forward.

At this point, Paav imagined that there was no possibly way that his day could get any worse.

Reality would mock him in seconds.

* * *

As soon as he saw Paav rise from his table to confront the exiting Zorah and Vakarian, Nitherius also got up, leaving his empty glass behind along with a sizable tip. He increased his pace to a fast walk and kept his eyes on the commander that was decreasing the distance between him and Zorah with every second. Conflict could only arise at this point in time, as inevitable as anything could ever be.

The path on his floor took a turn while the corridor below him did not, forcing Nitherius to break his line of sight with Paav and Zorah. He bustled down the adjacent staircase, adjusting the gloves of his white armor to make sure that everything was snug. Doused in green from the neon lighting, he appeared fluorescent underneath the sickening glare. Emerging from the trippy tunnel, he hung a left just in time to catch the moment when Paav grabbed a hold of Tali's wrist, halting her in place.

Nitherius stopped his stride and stared blankly. This quarian commander really was an idiot. Why would he ever think it would be a good idea to perform such an arrest of a high-profile individual in public? Not to mention his stance was a bit sloppy as he was allowing Zorah too much wiggle room. Nitherius could not very well barge into this confrontation now as he would have to contend with Paav for possession of Zorah and from this angle he could not see Vakarian at all, which could lead to him getting caught off guard.

What he could see, at least momentarily, was that the commander's hand appeared to brush Zorah's arm in such a way that it immediately leveled suspicion onto the male quarian's actions. That gave pause to Nitherius. No one would adjust the positioning of their hand like that while apprehending a suspect unless it was to position a contingency in place. He was aware that C-Sec and police forces on Palaven endorsed the practice of planting miniature beacons onto their captures as soon as they had acquired them to make sure that they could be located in case the apprehending procedure had gone awry. These beacons were small enough not to be noticed outright in the heat of a critical moment, but would be placed in inconspicuous places in order to take advantage of their nondescript size.

He had to give the commander points for that, if that was what he had been doing. Somehow Nitherius believed that the quarian would be glad for his relative foresight, because it was about to be tested at breakneck speed.

Nitherius watched, without any inkling of surprise, the chain of events that transpired starting with Tali's use of her omni-tool to stun Paav before knocking him over with a fierce punch. Nitherius remained in the shadows, knowing that Zorah and Vakarian were still too alerted to have him take up the chase in Paav's stead. He let them go.

He was intrigued at Zorah's brutality with handling the quarian commander, though. Stunning the man was necessary on her end. Punching him in the head was a little harsh. With such an extreme display of violence, Nitherius was not really convinced that the quarian could mount a successful defense in order to disprove her troubled state of mind. This exaggerated violence would not earn her allies if she kept it up.

But there was a silver lining to be found here. Nitherius, now that he was confident that Zorah and Vakarian were long gone, walked over to Paav, engaging a remote worm on his omni-tool in preparation. He pushed aside a gaggle of young salarians to get over to Paav, who was now beginning to stagger to his feet. The black visor perked up to spot Nitherius heading towards him and the quarian lifted himself up slightly, as though he expected the turian to help him back to his feet.

"Sorry, pal," Nitherius said instead and roughly shoved the hapless quarian back to the ground, but as his omni-tool wreathed hand made contact with Paav's suit, a spark jumped out onto the man, immediately shooting for the nearest data point housed within the quarian's enviro-suit.

The worm that Nitherius inserted into Paav's system did its job in nanoseconds. First, it was checking to see if Paav's own omni-tool was receiving any transmissions on a continuous loop, trying to pinpoint a specific application. Finding that Paav was in fact receiving a simulcast, the worm closed in on the data center and quickly copied the frequency of the broadcast over to Nitherius' own omni-tool by hijacking Paav's tool and forcing it to send the packet through the wireless network. Before Nitherius' worm self-terminated, it embarked on a campaign of destruction, devouring the information that pertained to the tracker Paav managed to set onto Zorah. Now, if Paav tried to check on the location of his quarry, he would discover that he would have inexplicably lost the signal for good, lost to the possession of Nitherius without him being any the wiser.

_I've got my own mission to follow. You'd just get in the way, but I appreciate the help nonetheless._

The quarian erupted in another bout of muffled cursing as he was practically trod over by Nitherius, but the turian quickly straightened and walked forward, entrusting the crowd to swallow him up and keep him out of view. Purging Paav from his thoughts, he opened the application that had the frequency on file and was pleased to see that a bright yellow dot on his display shone brightly and accurately on the floorplan of the Citadel. Everything had worked to perfection.

There would never be a good time to apprehend Zorah and Vakarian on the Citadel anyway. If they were smart, they were already heading for their ship with the intent to leave as soon as possible. That was fine by him. Let them run, he reasoned. With the tracker in his possession, he would stand a better chance at capturing them at a time when he proclaimed it advantageous. They could never hide from him now, head start or no.

But for right now, there was still no need for Nitherius to rush.

* * *

**A/N: Now we're getting into dark territory here and we've almost caught up to the events of the prologue. Next chapter should surpass that event.**

**Got an idea where this is going next? Do you like what you see? If so, drop a review and tell me what's what.**

**Personal sitrep: surgery went well for me, although I have to spend the next couple of months in a brace. Lucky me. Anyway, I've found that being such an unfortunate position, combined with pain pills, kind of sucks my drive to write so there may be some days that I will fail to get anything done at all with this story. I don't think that this will result in severe delays in the future but I'm just erring on the side of caution here.**


	9. Chapter 8: Czeching Things Out

**A/N: I could not resist the pun in the chapter title. I just couldn't.**

* * *

"_Citadel Tower to Mantis 453, you are cleared for departure, over."_

"Mantis 453," Nitherius drawled into the comm, "Acknowledged."

The quick conversation with the Citadel controller had already been put out of his mind by the time he lifted his finger off the transmit button. Nitherius reclined back in his seat after flicking the autopilot on and settled in for the trip.

Almost lazily, the Mantis' thrusters flared, pushing itself out of the pristine hangar, past the environment grid, and out into open space. The maneuvering jets fired seamlessly, orienting the Mantis with its destination and began propelling itself forward almost delicately, as if the extremely low gravity would still in fact affect the force projected onto the pilot. As it was, Nitherius felt nothing from the increase in velocity, but did suffer a minute of vertigo as the structure of the station appeared to rotate while he himself felt no indication that he was moving. He batted his head a few times, hoping that his brain would override his inner ear and make the transition somewhat more tolerable.

On a screen to his right, the tiny blip projecting Zorah's location shone brightly amongst the stars, courtesy of Paav's handiwork, pinpointing exactly where he needed to go. Nitherius' eyes became slits as he observed on the screen that the craft of his quarry headed not toward the mass relay near the dwarf planet on the far side of the system, but in the direction of the populated world that lay just an hour away. If there was any inkling of curiosity of this development within Nitherius' head, it probably would have lasted for all of milliseconds before the intrigue passed.

The light reflected from Earth was so bright that the canopy of the Mantis had to dim, protecting Nitherius' eyes. Currently his gunship was facing the onset of a large storm washing over a continent, hence the high albedo at the moment. The swirling maelstrom rumbled with angry lightning, puffing out to the extremes of the planet's atmosphere, gaining in intensity as it collected energy from the ocean it was currently positioned above. On the ground, the storm would be a killer but up in space, it was little more than an afterthought.

What Zorah and Vakarian were seeking on Earth ultimately did not matter to Nitherius. Whether it be an item or a person they were searching out, he found himself unable to care for very long. Admittedly, there was a small part of him that longed to discover what it was that was making these two behave so unpredictably. Vakarian had always had that innate desire to bend the rules for the greater good, as he'd heard, but for Zorah to willingly push back against firm rules and regulations that she had strived to follow, especially as an admiral – a _quarian_ one no less, was particularly perplexing.

Nitherius remembered that Zorah had stolen a file concerning the exploration onto the Citadel right after the war had ended and wondered if that had been the catalyst which had set this entire thing off, beginning the initial drop into that downward spiral of destruction. Nitherius had seen the video personally and recalled there being nothing of world-shattering interest in its contents, but admittedly he probably had not been paying attention as well as Zorah when he had viewed the video. Zorah _did_ have a more personal stake into that footage, granted, knowing her relationship with Commander Shepard.

Of course, Zorah had to have known about the file somehow because there would be no reason why she would have broken in the archives in the first place. With that logic, it was reasonable to assume that Vakarian had abused the trust placed onto him as a _personal_ advisor to the Primarch and had let slip to Zorah the file's existence, thus precipitating the need for action on her end – leading her to Palaven. Obviously she had stumbled upon something that hundreds of forensic manhours had missed, if not then these determined and rushed movements on her part were driven by something else.

If the latter was the case, then what the hell could it be?

Nitherius had slipped a pistol from his holster and opened up the inner workings while he had sat in thought. Giving his hands something to do always helped focus his mind and gave everything context when his thoughts seemed muddled. He ejected the thermal clips, pried the ammo container loose, and started to use a brush to clean the barrel. He gently scrubbed while he pondered, soaking up all of the details on his weapon – the blemishes, the imperfections, the stains. Each tiny little thing was a mark upon an otherwise pristine surface, a mark that could bring about disaster if preemptive action was not taken.

That was when the thought ripped into him.

Normally, an ordinary person would jump up in surprise if they had mentally stumbled upon an idea that had a huge significance to them. Nitherius acted the opposite. He just froze in place and raised his eyes, now staring blankly at the contrast between the edge of the world and the inky black blanket ahead.

"Now it makes sense," he mumbled to himself as he returned to cleaning his pistol.

Tali'Zorah was a quarian, and quarians for the most part were not rash independents unless they had a definitive reason for doing so. If Zorah had such a reason, then why hadn't it been obvious to Nitherius before on what it was? It was simple; Zorah had a relationship with Shepard. Shepard died on the Citadel, but Nitherius recalled from the footage that no body had been recovered from the station. That was the thing about the file, he now realized. It wasn't so much as what it had shown, but what it had _not_ shown that was so important.

"She's _looking_ for him," he mused, now caught between his clarity and a newfound admiration.

Psychologically, the reasoning for Tali's behavior was now apparent. It was simply her grief for her loss that was causing her to act this way and not a renegade streak as had been previously guessed. This took his theory into the realm of plausible rather than the insane. Nitherius had to sympathize with the woman's actions somewhat. He probably had not loved anyone as fiercely as she did, but would understand at the lengths one would go to reunite themselves, given any chance at all.

Now, the footage was not definitive in disproving Shepard's death, but Nitherius now felt a little conflicted, and a little guilty. As soon as that emotion came into play, he bit down on his tongue forcefully, shaking his sympathetic side off. Emotion could not play a part in his assignment, for Zorah had performed illegal activities on his world and it was only just that she pay for them. It would be a shame to tear her away from this errand that she was running, but no one could twist the law to their choosing and expect there to be no consequences.

This, however, gave Nitherius pause. Now that he was almost positive that Zorah was operating with a fragile mental state, this meant that his job would be a lot harder. Right now, Zorah would be less prone to reason and would react a lot more violently if anyone were to tamper with her objective – to find Shepard. Take that hapless quarian commander, he remembered. Zorah had been in his clutches but she had managed to not only stun him but hit him in the side of the head hard enough to cause a concussion. Granted, the man had completely underestimated his target, but it was not purely by luck that Zorah was able to slip away. If anything, that would only have alerted her more and perhaps driven up her paranoia.

This job was suddenly not looking as easy as he had hoped, even with the tracker still miraculously attached to Zorah.

He was of a mind to call Kiyareh for comforting advice, but found that time managed to slip away while he did some more brooding. As he sat still, his autopilot firmly wrestled with Earth's ground control for clearance to land.

* * *

For a long time, Tali'Zorah could not stop feeling uneasy.

She sat in one of the chairs adorning the center table in the middle of the shuttle's hold, as Garrus had taken the helm when they'd boarded. Tali had not complained, seeing as she was a little shook up from almost getting caught that she had conceded to leave the flying to someone who was admittedly better at it than she was.

She flexed her fingers on her right hand, noting that there was some stiffness in her joint movements. Her knuckles were most likely bruised under the suit; a consequence of punching Paav directly on his helmet. She had replayed that moment over and over in her head, trying to imagine if she could have solved that confrontation differently. Each scenario would eventually end in violence, the thought still not comforting her. Deep down, she hoped that Paav was all right, as she did note that his visor had been cracked from her blow, possibly opening him up to an infection. He may have been trying to arrest her, but that did not mean that she wanted him dead.

But that was the thing that was bothering her. What was Paav doing here? Liara did mention that the turians had sent off a Spectre to bring her in, but she in no way expected her own people to respond in the same fashion. Paav had now been dragged into this mess, bringing the number of people now vying for her head up to two. Two! As if this entire mission had not suffered enough setbacks.

That entire encounter had reeked with Raan's meddling. Damn her, she _knew_ that looking for Shepard was important, so why did she feel the need to send a glorified thug to reel her back to Rannoch? Was it merely to keep up appearances with Xen by making an attempt to bring her in for the inevitable trial? No, that sounded stupid to Tali. Despite all that Raan had done in the past for her, there was no way that she would be willing to stick her neck out for her safety against the majority of the Admiralty Board and Raan's hiring of Paav was most likely not a smokescreen as she would have let on to her "niece" the exact details of the Board's action against her and not just a vague threat.

There was a clambering noise from the cockpit and Garrus awkwardly hopped out into the cabin, trying not to trip over any of the loose wires strewn about. Tali lifted her head slightly in concern, judging from the turian's expression that something was not exactly _right_.

"Earth ground control is being a little testy today," Garrus grumbled before Tali had the chance to ask what was wrong. "They're refusing to accept craft of our class into Prague right now as the landing pads that haven't been damaged by the Reapers are all full at the moment."

Tali's head tilted. "So who's flying the shuttle?"

"Got the autopilot locked in a holding pattern," Garrus explained. "It will land us in the city when it's our turn in the queue. Things are still a little messy on the surface that the humans are still unable to accommodate all of their guests, it seems."

"How long is the ground control going to keep us up here?"

"They have stated a few hours at the very least."

That was completely unacceptable to Tali. "A few _hours?!_" she exclaimed. "That's not going to work at all. You might as well get us out of here, Garrus, and find another place to land because I'm not going to stand still in line one minute longer than necessary."

"I already checked for alternatives and there are none to be had. The nearest town with some space for shuttles of our type is a city called Dresden, and while they do have some spots available for us, a lot of time is going to be taken up with us trying to procure ground transportation to Prague and by the time that all gets worked out, we would have set down at our original destination long before we would have arrived via other means."

"So find an empty field near the city and set this thing down there," she replied flippantly. "I don't give a damn if we have to _walk_ there, but find some other way!"

"Tali, this is _Earth_. Every single square meter of this planet is owned and monitored by someone – corporation or individual. If you're just going to land this shuttle in a random farmer's field, they're going to find out quickly and you'll find this impounded by the local police before we even make it into the city. I think that you're just going to have to suck this one up."

"Fine," Tali huffed as she crossed her arms in annoyance. "Fine. If that's how it's going to be…"

Garrus could not prevent himself from hanging his head and letting out a sigh. This gung-ho and driven Tali was getting a little on his nerves now but his conscience forbade him from speaking out against it. But even so, this behavior had not been manifested out of nowhere and without reason. There was a trail of logic behind this state of mind.

_She's just clinging to the last bit of hope she has left_, he reasoned. _After all, she only recently found out that Shepard was alive – who wouldn't be acting like this if they were put in her position? I probably would not behave any differently._

Tali was still turned away angrily, so Garrus had to rap his knuckles smartly on the table in order to get her attention. "You know, I was thinking since we've left the Citadel on how you almost got caught by that other quarian that we might need to take steps regarding how conspicuous we look."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Garrus grimaced as he took a seat, "that our appearances might need to be adjusted before we go out in public again. For instance, you've got that purple hood on and that kind of makes you stand out in a place that features mostly drab colors. Anyone will be able to spot you in a heartbeat."

"Well," Tali tugged anxiously on her hood now from those words, "it's not exactly like I can change that, Garrus. But what about you? What could you do to make yourself seem more inconspicuous?"

"Me?" Garrus indicated. "For starters, I can simply rub off my current face paint and put on a different color. I've been wearing blue for years that I don't think anyone who knows me could ever imagine me in something different, like red or white. But in regards to you, I did find _this_ stuffed underneath the pilot's seat, which got me thinking on the subject in the first place."

From underneath the table, Garrus brought his hand up and dropped a flimsy object onto the flat surface. Tali instantly recognized the flowing designs in the fabric as quarian in nature and was drawn to how the garment seemed to swirl in a gray pool, the muted colors blending into the background.

Tali held the hood up and appraised for a second before noting how much longer it was compared to the one she wore now. "Garrus, this is a _tracker's_ hood," she fussed. He did not need to know the distinction, but it was evident that from the way the edges of the hood dropped off significantly more than the one she wore now that its length from the back stretched a couple feet further like a cloak. This was a much different style of ornamentation than she was used to.

"It's either this or take your chances," Garrus simply stated, not bothering to argue anymore. "Your call, Tali."

Tali glared at him from underneath her visor. That turian could sound so smug when logic was on his side. After a few inhalations through her nose, Tali put the gray hood down for a moment so that she could start the process of taking off the one she wore now. Dexterous fingers fumbled at the clasps that held the fabric together at her arms and she slowly worked her way up, unlatching one fastener at a time.

As soon as the hood on her head felt loose, Tali raised her hands and sadly began to tug it away. It caught for a second upon the hoses at the back of her helmet, but it soon fell forward into a bundle in her arms. She simply sat there for a second, her bare helmet gleaming as her head drooped sadly. She traced the swirling pattern on the purple hood, following the frayed lines upon the well-worn covering. Garrus had averted his eyes respectfully at this point, she noted. He must have understood that doing this was not as simple as removing a spare bit of armor. Removing the covering felt like a piece of her soul had gone with it, leaving a funny feeling in its place.

She had the replacement draped on in minutes and by the time she was done, Tali could not help but feel a little bit silly. As predicted, the rear end of the hood fell down to the back of her knees, requiring her to stand in up in order to fully straighten it out. _Yeah_, she thought to herself, _this is definitely different than what I've been used to._

As opposed to its shorter variant, the long cloak-like form of the tracker hood was typically worn by soldiers on long missions, or nomads that had been exiled from the fleet – cursed to wander the galaxy forever. They provided the wearer extra protection from the elements and even served well as a rudimentary blanket. But, Tali did accept that this would make her blend in more with the ragged locals than with her comparatively regal and royally colored covering.

Tali lifted part of the cloak and took the time to observe the strange markings woven into the fabric. The pattern contained the typical flowing style found in quarian art, but this article also had jagged lines too, creating a landscape of both the natural and artificial that fused the two styles into one cohesive form. Tali wondered whose covering this belonged to, but was slowly getting used to wearing it, even if she did find the gray color to be a little on the drab side.

Garrus, on the other hand, looked impressed. "It may be a deviation from your usual style," he commented, "but I think that it works well on you."

Tali certainly thought that the new look was severely inferior, but she bit her lip sheepishly at that. "Thanks, Garrus."

The turian's eyes signified that he was smiling, or at least laughing quietly to himself. He tapped his fingers briefly on the table again before he rose up out of his chair and started to head for one of the rooms in the back.

"Where are you going?" Tali asked.

"I was just thinking that since we're stuck in Earth's atmosphere for at least a couple hours and that I didn't really get such a good rest last night that I was going to take a relaxant and grab whatever sleep I can before tackling what I'm presuming is going to be an action packed day. You should probably get some rest too if you want, Tali."

"I'm not tired," she said and she meant it. She legitimately did not feel drowsy at all.

"Well, I am. Hopefully I can trust you to get us out of a jam in case the autopilot suddenly and inexplicably fails. I really don't want my end to come with us crashing into the side of a mountain. I've had a good run so far and I'd like to keep it up."

"As would I," Tali said earnestly. "Don't worry, Garrus, I'm sure my limited piloting skills will be sufficient enough to keep us from dropping like a stone."

Garrus' face fell in such a comedic fashion that Tali almost laughed out loud. "Your confidence is so _inspiring_," Garrus grumbled sarcastically before he shut the door to his individual quarters.

With the turian's departure, the cabin quieted down just enough that all Tali was able to hear was the soothing rumble from the engines as the shuttle crawled through Earth's ionosphere. She adjusted herself on her seat, now throwing her cloak over one shoulder so that she would not have to sit down every time a chair was made available to her. Still, the firmness of the chair combined with the slight fear that the autopilot would suddenly develop an intelligence and rebel on its passengers caused Tali to fidget constantly within the cabin, never quite achieving a state of calm or peacefulness.

With a soft curse, Tali drew herself up from her chair and walked into the cockpit to lower herself onto the more comfortable seat, making sure that her cloak did not brush against any sensitive instruments. The canopy projected the smooth circumference of Earth, the reflected light almost blinding from its surface. Tali could see tiny pinpricks of light zooming beneath her shuttle – other ships zipping to and fro on the trade routes towards other populated areas of the galaxy. It was rush hour in the shipping lanes – controlled pandemonium.

The relative silence combined with the peaceful background (the cushioned seat also having something to do with it) provided the lull that Tali needed. She figured that she had been sitting at the cockpit for about an hour, with her feet propped up, when her eyes first began to droop. She had been watching the oceans and ridges of the planet pass below her that entire time, taking in the sheer color of the planet, when the tiniest vessel of sleep imparted itself onto her.

Tali yawned while she crossed her arms, snuggling into a nicer position at the very moment when a harsh crackle broke out on the intercom, raising her heartbeat a tad. Annoyed, she cracked open an eyelid. The receiver was picking up some kind of transmission, based on the broken audio waves that were being erratically collected and visualized on the screen.

Frowning, Tali sat up in her chair and adjusted the tuner a bit, trying to hone in on the frequency. She did not know if this was a stray radio burst that happened to cross her path or if this was a deliberate transmission meant for her. Either way, she felt that she had to at least find out which was which otherwise the lack of knowing would just nag at her.

Weirdly, at one moment when she had done nothing to the frequency, a howl broke open across the speaker, causing Tali to jump in her seat. From the hologram projector, a series of red sparks snapped angrily, culminating in a sea of static and bars that looked like an image was trying to convalesce itself into a form that made some kind of physical sense. Tali stared wildly as what looked like an arm and a leg materialize from the electronic fog, completely bewildered.

What was interesting about this was the fact that the hologram was _red_, not the electric blue that she had always expected whenever she had utilized the technology. The red flared out to her like a haze caused by a headache, causing Tali to put a hand to her helmet purely on reflex.

"_Qu-…ian…_" a voice suddenly uttered through the white noise, the words surprisingly clear when they were not cut out.

Tali stared in horror as the foaming static dissipated just enough to allow the form of a man to be visible to her. The cascading distortion still caused the man's image to be altered but not so extensively to completely hide him from Tali. Even through the fog, she still was able to recognize the custom jacket and pants this person wore, the fact that they held a cigarette in their left hand, and the glowing dots of their eyes were impossible to miss, even with these poor conditions. She had never met the man in person, but knew enough about him for a name to instantly be connected with his image.

"Illusive…Man?" Tali whispered. _He lives._

"_Tali'Z-…-ah,_" the Illusive Man spoke through the audio issues as though as he was not aware of them to begin with. "_You can't talk to me, but I can talk t…-ou. Listen to what I have to say and plan your next move carefully_."

_How? How could he know where I am? How does he know the comm frequency of this shuttle? _ A dozen questions were hurtling through her mind at breakneck speed, but only one among them was the most pertinent. _Where is John? He's alive so does that also mean…?_

The holographic human's expression darkened to a scowl, his fingers clenching on the end of his cigarette so hard that it bent slightly. "_I know what it is you're searching for, quarian, and you will never find it. Turn back now, or I will hasten the work I have begun with your precious human. This will be your only warning_."

Tali's chest constricted painfully and her breath came out in panicked squeaks as she continued to watch. The Illusive Man's image turned, allowing her to see that he held a syringe in his other hand. "_You will most likely not pay this any heed, but that's why I'm going to give you a little demonstration of what happens when you fail to follow my instructions. Rest assured, he will never leave my sight!_"

The syringe jabbed out at something beyond the hologram's limited field of view, presumably injecting the contents into something. What followed next was the most horrifying noise Tali had ever heard in her life. A bloodcurdling scream seemed to split the long dark night, traveling along Tali's spine and searing her very heart. It wasn't so much the fact that it was the sound of someone in pain that was distressing her, it was the fact that it was _Shepard's_ voice, so clear and full of hurt, that struck her so.

_JOHN! NO!_

Tali screamed and jolted in her seat so abruptly that she tipped out of it and onto the floor with a crash. She shook on the ground, paralyzed by fear for a few seconds until she heard the door to Garrus' bunk slam open, causing her to instinctively slam her jaw shut.

"Tali?" Garrus asked as he hurried over to where she had fallen. "What happened to you?"

Tali's arm rose and furiously pointed at the hologram projector, her hand shaking like crazy. "I…I…I saw…"

"Saw what? Tali, what the hell is going on?"

"I saw…_him!_" Tali gasped. "The…the _Illusive Man!_"

Garrus frowned and stood up to look at the projector after he helped the quarian to her feet. He appraised the image stand for a second before he booted up the contact logs to check the veracity of Tali's statement.

He spent a few seconds scrolling through the records before he gave a frustrated shake of his head. "There's nothing here, Tali. No calls have been logged in the past few minutes."

"Are you going to call me a liar now?" Tali shouted. "I saw the Illusive Man on that projector, Garrus! Don't just stand there and tell me the opposite of what happened while you were in another room and I was right here! I _saw_ him, damn you!"

"Okay, okay!" Garrus backed up a step. "Okay, Tali. Easy. I'm just trying to gage the situation, is all."

"You know there's a million ways to prevent a record right? Maybe the Illusive Man was using a…an unlisted frequency that auto-wipes after every call. Or maybe…he was using a series of satellites to bounce the connection in a closed loop, thereby counting on the time differences from the quantum transmission to give him a way to cycle the call between multiple endpoints, or maybe…"

"All right, Tali! I was not intending to question you, okay? I was just noting the fact that the call, for whatever reason, was not listed."

"Oh…" Tali's cheeks flushed furiously in shame. "S-Sorry, Garrus."

The turian looked pained. "It's all right, but I'd appreciate it if you could take a little breather before you bite my head off at everything I say. Seriously, you've been snapping at me ever since Palaven."

"I know," Tali sighed as she watched the canopy view alter while the shuttle began to bank to the side. "But…I can't help but feel that we're running out of time. The Illusive Man…he showed me something, and we don't have very long to act."

"What did he show you?"

Tali slowly looked upward, her glowing eyes boring through Garrus' skull. "He…made someone scream over the transmission. It…_John_ was the one screaming, Garrus."

Garrus swallowed and he felt an uncomfortable lump in his throat. "Tali," he said as he placed his hands on the quarian's shoulders, guiding her to the cockpit's seat, "I need you to tell me everything about what the Illusive Man said. Don't leave anything out, but please tell me. I have a right to know just as much as you that he's still alive."

And she did.

* * *

A few hours later found Tali and Garrus walking along one of Prague's many avenues, itching to stretch their legs after being confined in that shuttle for so long. They had landed the shuttle about a couple miles down the road, having finally secured a spot. There had not been quite a lot of traffic around the area, but it was the fact that several of the pads at the port were still seriously damaged. Tali wondered how the rest of Earth could sleep peacefully knowing that there was still this level of devastation on their planet.

But, she had to reason, rebuilding an entire world takes time…and money. Both of which no one had particularly much of after such a brutal conflict.

The infrastructure of the city was still so bad that public transport had not been completely reintroduced yet, at least to the areas that they needed to go. It was only a few miles to traverse from the port so they elected to walk. The cobblestones under their feet wobbled and clacked together as they put their weight on them as they walked. Tali liked the attention to detail paid to just the construction of the roads but would be in for a shock once she would see the heart of the city at last.

Every single road they walked down had piles and piles of rubble comprised of shattered building remains. The hollowed out husks of the establishments made it seem that a war might have happened the night before, for there was little improvement to the overall composition. That was a shame, Tali thought, because many of the buildings in this city were quite ornately constructed. She had never been witness to human architecture on a scale quite like Prague's before, having only been to one other human city before.

From what she saw of the Old Town, statues lined every corner - their wise and ancient mouths looking on at their mortal successors in their arrogant disapproval, the spires of churches rose up into the sky like daggers, and the artistry in whatever had survived the conflict beamed like torches - the perfection in the murals emphasizing the romantic and hardy nature of its inhabitants. Tali made a note to come to this city again – as a tourist instead of on business. Maybe John could show her the sights when he was ready.

Both her and Garrus were similarly overwhelmed at just how tightly packed everything in Prague was, though. From their admittedly limited experience with human civilian life, they had assumed that, simply based off the size of Shepard's apartment that humans required a lot of space for their homes and it came as a shock to them to find that the majority of the Praugers lived in much more restricted conditions. Apparently this was normal for them, as demonstrated by the few shops that were open, that all these humans really desired at this time was a roof over their heads and food in their bellies at the very least.

Now faced with this information, Tali suddenly realized just how expensive her apartment was in comparison to the broom closets here. Embarrassed at how well off she was when others were living in less ostentatious places, Tali tried very hard not to look at passerby as she walked. Easier said than done; she and Garrus were the only aliens within a twenty block radius if not the entire city, so of course everyone was looking at the quarian and the turian as they purposefully continued to march down the street, painfully obvious in their current getups.

They ignored the stares and pressed onward through the neighborhoods. After a while, Garrus hung a right and Tali followed, noting that the name of the street they were now heading down was Řetězová. She did not have the first clue on how to pronounce it with all those accents, and that was even with the help of her text translator software installed in her helmet.

"How much further?" Tali asked as she adjusted her long gray hood so that it did not catch on her shoulder.

"Liara's intel puts Leveque at just the next intersection," Garrus responded from ahead. His blue facepaint had been swapped for one red in color, similar to the red blood that humans possessed – his version of altering his appearance. It just looked like he had gotten in a fistfight, from Tali's point of view. "Apparently he runs a shop dedicated to, um…heightening senses through the sale of contraband items."

"You mean drugs."

"Basically, yeah. The man owns a drug lab."

Tali's questions stopped after that, but Garrus had been worried about this encounter since he had taken the time to read the dossier on Leveque. Drug lab raids were always dangerous and were treated with the utmost of caution in his C-Sec days. Residents of these labs would generally put up a fight to the death once they knew that the authorities were knocking on their door in an effort to delay them from seizing the place and making them potentially lose out on millions of credits. Garrus had been on a few raids before and was terrified for each one, and that was when he had a team covering the entire operation. With two, he was more than a little skeptical on how things could turn out for the better.

When Tali had told him about the warning the Illusive Man had given her over the holoprojector, Garrus had become just as concerned as his friend. The Illusive Man's survival also hinted at Shepard's through logic, despite Tali admitting that Shepard was not actually shown to her. That little fact did not matter; their foe had chosen to reveal himself and the stakes were now clearly defined. All that was left was to locate them both, despite the threat made towards the Illusive Man's hostage.

Within the maze of a city, the two reached another intersection and Garrus held out an arm to indicate to Tali that they should stop. Trying to be as nonchalant as possible, he tilted his head towards a building across the street, one that seemed to be in modest condition compared to the surrounding area, but there was a small line gathered in front of it comprised of sickly looking individuals. Some of these humans looked pale and gaunt while others scratched at fresh scabs on the interiors of their arms. Syringe marks, Garrus noted.

"You stay outside," Garrus told Tali. "This might get a little ugly."

"You sure you'd rather have me here?" Tali asked anxiously.

"Positive," Garrus grimaced. "Besides, if the bastard makes a run for it, you'll be able to cut him off."

"If that's what you think is best…" Tali trailed off, not really that convinced.

Garrus tried his best to seem confident, but looked more strained than anything else. Taking a deep breath, he strode across the street while Tali hung back and moved to a better spot.

With his armor and weapons strapped over his back, Garrus felt a little awkward as he approached the storefront, but the feeling was quickly replaced with a sense of dread when he began to push his way to the front of the line. This caused many a grumble for the addicts who had been waiting as patiently as they could, but none of them were going to stand up to a well-protected turian that was armored to the teeth. They wanted their drugs more than they wanted a fight – it was too early in the day to make such tradeoffs.

Concerning Garrus at the moment was the burly bouncer manning the fort at the doorway. Judging by the tattoos on his arms, the man was definitely part of the mob that he had been warned to strictly avoid. There were probably more surrounding the building and the bouncer had already spotted the turian at this point so sneaking around was looking to be not quite such a good alternative.

"Whoa, buddy," the bouncer said as he raised a meaty arm, blocking Garrus' way. He had closely cropped hair, a black shirt, and a thick neck. "You're a bit lost, aren't you?"

If either that was a crack at his alienness or that was just the line the human used when someone tried to have their way, Garrus didn't know or care. From what he could see around the bouncer's trunk of an arm, was a short, wiry haired man manning a counter with a small pile of white powder in front of him on the counter. His broad-shouldered posture and white streaked hair looked just like the picture in the dossier and Garrus knew he was looking at Danton Leveque in the flesh.

All that was between him and the human was an overzealous bouncer eager to collect his paycheck for services rendered.

"I don't think you're in the right place, friend," the bouncer rumbled, sourly eying Garrus.

Garrus fixated the man with his cop glare, hoping that he could find some way to intimidate the man. "Yeah, well, I believe that I _am_ in the right place. Move aside."

The human just chuckled at that and Garrus was alarmed to see that Leveque was starting to become drawn to the conversation, his head gradually perking up at the turian arguing with his man outside.

The bouncer gave Garrus a shove and he stumbled backwards, who almost lost his footing on a loose cobblestone. "I don't think so. You cut the line and for that, you've gotta go to the back of it. You'd better take off your weapons before you get hurt too. We don't allow firearms inside the establishment."

Garrus blinked. He was briefly tempted to say that instead of his guns he would leave a single bullet lodged in the man's gut. He remembered Shepard saying such a thing in the past but then again, Garrus had no squad to back him up for making badass threats.

"I'm keeping them on, thanks," he said darkly as he walked up to the door once again, now causing more grumbles from the patrons lined outside.

"You're going to get your ass kicked if you keep up the attitude, you dumb fuck. Besides, we don't offer drugs tailored to turians. Levos only. You best just get up and go right now."

"Well, at least you're a bit more up front than most," Garrus belted out loud. "You people were usually a bit more secretive with your trade when I worked the beat at C-Sec."

In that instant, Garrus knew he had ruined everything. The human's eyes bulged out of his head and his hands dropped for a pistol tucked in the waistband of his pants. "_Shit!_ He's a fucking narc!" the man yelled.

The man drew, but Garrus drew faster.

The first shot rang sharply in Garrus' ears, rendering him unable to hear the screams of panic from the scattering customers. The bouncer fell, cradling a hole in his stomach that gushed blood. Garrus kicked away the man's fallen pistol and was about to head inside when a report from the interior barked and the threshold was sprayed with dust as the bullet impacted on the side wall. A miss.

Garrus hugged the wall and aimed his gun around the corner. He fired two more shots and heard a thump resound in seconds. He craned his head and peeked inside. Another human, this one shirtless, lay face down on the ground, a growing pool of blood starting to spread near his head. Garrus cautiously proceeded inside and headed over to the counter, ignoring the spilled paraphernalia that coated everything in a fine white powder.

A quick check over the counter revealed that Leveque was not there. Garrus was dumbstruck. How could that human slip away when there was no-

A battering noise drew his attention to the right. Apparently he had failed to notice the staircase that had led into a lower level of the building, right into another door that had been left ajar. It swung on its hinges lazily and Garrus saw that the interior was streaked with harsh sunlight when its momentum opened it up.

Leveque had fled into the streets. Damn it all to hell!

* * *

"_Tali_," Garrus' voice crackled in her ear, "_Leveque's running and I'm indisposed at the moment. You're going to have to go out and get him. He's the one with the gray shirt and the speckled hair._"

"Already on it," she acknowledged as she bustled through the panicking crowd. "I see him right now. He's about a block away from me."

Tali had seen the man take off from behind the building at such a high speed that it had drawn suspicion upon him immediately. Pushing off and traversing the cracked street proved to be a challenge, as there was so much debris that she could step on and lose her footing. She had to be careful or else she would break an ankle, and that would be the end of that.

She had to push aside a heavyset man before she could collect her bearings. About a hundred meters away, she could see the diminutive form of Leveque sprinting across the sidewalk, heading in a direction that made Tali's stomach sink painfully as she realized exactly where he was headed.

"Garrus," she spoke with measured breaths as she ran, "Leveque's headed to the river."

"_Crap_," the turian groaned. "_If he crosses it, he will be in the gang's territory. I'm also in pursuit now but we have to catch him before he gets over a bridge!_"

"No one's more aware of that than _me_, Garrus!" Tali snapped before she cut the connection. Midstride, she reached around and managed to grip her assault rifle by the stock and clumsily swung it over her shoulder. She fumbled the gun in her grip and resumed charging headlong after the fleeing human.

A cloud of dust blew in from an abandoned complex and swallowed up Leveque, obscuring him from view. Tali gritted her teeth, aware of how painful her sweaty skin was catching against the low-friction polymer of her enviro-suit. Her long hood flapped in the wind, making her look like a wraith as she plunged into the dust without a moment's hesitation.

She burst out the other side with a new cosmetic coating of brown. Tali used her gray hood to scour her visor clear. Movement to her right caught her eye and she gaped in horror as she watched Leveque run over a footbridge across the river, seemingly home free.

"Damn it!" she cried before she began transmitting. "Garrus, Leveque's getting over the bridge right now. Where are you?"

"_Hold tight_," came the calm reply. "_Wait just a second…_"

A harsh crack jolted the air, frightfully close. It sounded like the kind of shot a sniper rifle made. Tali hurried over to the bridge where Garrus hustled out from beyond the brick wall of what used to be a café.

"I took a shot at the little bastard," Garrus wheezed. Either he had been sprinting this whole way or he needed to get into better shape. Tali was winded as well but not as badly as Garrus. "Missed, but it looked like he injured himself beforehand. He seems to be favoring one foot over the other, which means he might have twisted an ankle."

Tali nodded and then began to jog across the bridge. Garrus joined her in step, thankfully not bringing up the point that they were about to head in the lion's den. Both of them knew the potential dangers hidden in this neighborhood, the Mala Strana.

Garrus pointed at a broken display window. "Leveque dived through there after I shot at him. He's within this block somewhere, I bet."

"I'll try to cut him off," Tali offered as she drew herself close to the wall after passing in front of an alley. "Don't kill him, though. We need this _bosh'tet_ alive."

As they split up, Tali became painfully aware of how loud her boots were upon the ground. She found herself scanning the high windows, nervous that someone would pop out and begin opening fire on her. This was as bad as things got in this town, but Tali was too pumped full of adrenaline to be properly nervous.

She rounded the corner and took the nearest gateway that she saw on her right. This was the entrance to an apartment complex, an open-air tunnel that passed through the first floor of the rise to end up in what looked like a courtyard in the middle. Bright light created a yellow portal as she resided in the cool darkness and she headed towards it, listening intently for footsteps other than her own.

"_Tali…_" Garrus' voice whispered excitedly in her ear. "_I've got him in my sights._"

"Then what are you waiting for? Get him in the leg!"

The next _crack_ came in place of a verbal answer and as Tali burst out into the sunlight allowed from the courtyard, she heard a fresh scream over by the fountain. Water gurgled peacefully, the wind rustled the dead leaves, and Danton Leveque yelled as he cradled his maimed leg.

"I'll take care of him," Tali growled as she started to move forward.

"_Wait, it looks like he's reaching for a pistol in his pocket_."

"Don't even think about it," Tali called out loud. Leveque jerked at the noise and his head craned around frantically, trying to spot the quarian but his current orientation would not allow for such a thing to happen.

"_He brought the gun out. I'm going to give him another lesson_."

Another shot from Garrus' sniper rifle snapped out, but Tali did not flinch this time. Instead she watched impassively as a puff of blood spurted from Leveque's ruined hand, causing the pistol to clatter away harmlessly.

"I told you not to do it," Tali sighed.

Leveque clutched his wounded hand to his chest, his limbs starting to shake from shock. "_What do you want from me?!_" he screamed. His voice was heavily accented, but understandable nonetheless.

"You _know_ what I want," Tali growled cryptically. She was not about to discuss the particulars of her mission in such an open place.

"L-Look," the man stammered, "I…I have no idea what you w-want, okay? Is…is it money? Drugs? Wh-What is it?!"

"It's simple. You have information. I want it."

"You're going to have to be more specific than that," Leveque gritted. "Maybe…maybe you and I can work something out-"

Tali grew tired of the man's delaying and purposefully racked the slide on her assault rifle to emphasize that she was not joking around. A perfectly good thermal clip sailed out of the slot but she caught it before it could hit the ground and fitted it into her bandolier for safekeeping.

"If you keep on stalling, Danton," Tali warned, "I'm going to put a round in your _other_ leg."

"_Okay, okay!_" the human yelled. Tali saw that he was now gripping his leg to squeeze out the flow of pain. He must really be hurting at this point. "Just give me some help here! _What do you fucking want to know?!_"

Leveque was now desperate to see his attackers, but Tali was still beyond his axis of vision. Garrus had been creeping up to the human's position while Tali had been briefly conversing, now making sure that everything was secure.

"What do I want to know?" Tali repeated with a hint of mischievousness. "It should be obvious. I want to find someone, but to do that, I need to know what you know."

"_Who_? Who do you want to find? I...I could help you with that, maybe? Just give me a name and I'll see if I know how to find him! C'mon, who do want to find?"

Now he was starting to accept his predicament. This was good, it implied that he was going to drop whatever charade he had and would be more amenable to persuasion.

Still, Tali huffed under her helmet. "I doubt that a delinquent like you would have such knowledge. But, we'll see if your memory can be jogged. The person I want to find is a man I believe you're well aware of. Does the name _John Shepard_ ring a bell?"

Danton grew still, like a lightbulb had not only gone off, but exploded inside his head, bringing him dangerously close to a paralytic state. "It…" the man gulped, "…it cannot be. You…you can't seriously believe that he's still around! You have to know that he's dead! The man's been dead for a year now!"

Another naysayer. Another foolish ingrate too stupid to pull the wool over their eyes when the naked truth was out there for all to see…or perhaps he was playing dumb, covering the tracks of his master to make the hunt all the more difficult. Tali would soon see if the man was being truthful or not.

"No, he is _not_ dead. On the contrary, he is very much _alive_. But such things are beyond your concern. Allow me to further highlight the severity of your situation so that you know how serious I am."

And with that, Tali finally stepped from around the corner of the fountain, the assault rifle firmly gripped in her hands. She finally saw the human's terrified expression up close, the infamous Danton Leveque in the flesh. His pudgy face was lined with fear (and blood), his hair was jostled and unkempt, and his clothing was a few sizes too large for him. He was not an attractive looking man and Tali felt nothing for him as she stared into his wide eyes.

"You…" Leveque fumbled. "_You're_…"

"I _know_ who I am," Tali replied in indignation, feeling impatient by the human's brain being unable to process the situation quickly enough. "And now you're going to help me with something I currently do _not_ know," she growled as she slowly brought her rifle to bear, the muzzle boring down upon the fallen human.

"W-W-What?"

"You're going to help me find John Shepard, of course," Tali replied matter-of-factly as she stepped forward and pressed the barrel of the gun on the human's forehead. As soon as Leveque's eyes squeezed shut in fear, Tali swung the rifle and clocked the man firmly on the side of the head. He crumpled in a heap, unconscious and bleeding from his ear.

Garrus was by her side in an instant, having stowed his rifle on his back. He eyed the sprawled out human with a practiced eye and turned to Tali worryingly. "We can't carry him back over the bridge otherwise we'll be spotted instantly. What do you want to do?"

Tali bit her lip. Garrus had a point. They couldn't just drag Leveque out of here and back across the bridge to a safe zone. Even if they could both heft the human, their speed would be hampered so significantly that they would be a sitting duck out on that bridge. No, for all intents and purposes they were stuck here and that meant that they needed to act quickly lest trouble came calling.

"What do you think we should do?" Tali asked sarcastically as she moved to sit Leveque up. "We're going to improvise, Garrus. Now grab his legs and help me lift this bastard."

Garrus grumbled but complied, grunting as he let his back do the lifting. His calves burned as they stretched and he wondered how long he had left until he overheated and fainted from exhaustion. He wished he had some water with him. For some reason, Tali did not seem thirsty or perhaps that visor was doing a damn good job of concealing how much she was suffering.

"So…" Garrus muttered as the two of them lifted the deadweight human, "what is it you have in mind, Tali?"

"Just getting the answers out of this man as quickly as possible," Tali replied as she began leading them towards not the exit to the courtyard, but to the entrance to the apartment complex – the dark threshold beckoning with his delightfully cold shade.

"Now," Tali said, "how do you feel about taking the stairs?"

* * *

Watching everything run down as he looked through his sniper rifle, Nitherius gave a soft murmur as he gently eased the sights to rest on the middle of Zorah and Vakarian as they practically dragged an unconscious human into a nearby building. Nitherius looked away from his scope and out into the sprawling city before him, spotting the complex in question a few blocks away.

Perched in the tower of a church, Nitherius had carefully followed the two ever since they made landfall, but could not find the perfect time to strike when there were no witness, or when they were not embroiled in a state of panic and energized mania. Instead of pursuing, he had chosen to take up a temporary residence in one of the taller structures he could find. He didn't have to worry about any visual confirmation, as the tracker attached to Zorah was still pinpointing her location perfectly. Now all he had to do was move into a closer position so that he could have the advantage when the time was right. From the looks of things, Zorah and Vakarian would not be moving anytime soon – not with that hostage in tow.

He pressed a button and the rifle folded up, ready to be transported. Nitherius placed the weapon on his back and stood to leave when he heard sounds of a commotion in the streets below him. He crept over to the side and surreptitiously glanced downward, trying to minimize his presence any way possible.

The resounding noise and energy of the passing crowd only reignited his fears, especially when he saw every single member touting a firearm of some kind. They marched _en masse_, fatefully pushing towards the one place that Nitherius would have liked them _not_ to go towards.

_I'm never going to get a break, aren't I? _he thought in exasperation as the mob below swelled like a living organism, traveling to the nearest place where it could get the energy to feed.

* * *

**A/N: Now that we've caught up to the events of the prologue, things are going to come at a much more intense pace for our two protagonists. Will Leveque have the answers they seek or will fate intervene once again?  
**

**Engaged? Entertained? Intrigued? Let me know!  
**


	10. Chapter 9: Sleight of Hand

This had been someone's home, Tali noticed with a pang.

The remnants of the apartment lay in shambles around her. Broken drywall scattered in pieces on the ground. Porcelain tiles cracked and clattered when pressure was put upon them. Dust completely coated the walls, illuminated by the shafts of light that speared through the cratered openings into the outside world.

It would be just enough to house a small family. Two bedrooms, a single bathroom, a living room and a tiny kitchen. This place had been full of life once; perhaps a child had been raised here. Tali could see crumpled up bits of colorful wallpaper on one of the rooms, barely visible after being exposed to the elements for so long. Pots and pans were unevenly dispersed in the kitchen, seared along with the rest of the furniture from plasma burns. Spent thermal clips on the ground were evidence enough of a fierce battle that had taken place here, if not for the bullet holes pockmarking the walls.

Tali's arms burned from having dragged Leveque up a few flights of stairs, but if Garrus, who was standing next to her, was winded in any way then he was certainly doing a better job of masking his discomfort from his part in the team effort.

The human had been clumsily deposited into a chair appropriated from the ruined kitchen and with the help of some rope procured from a nearby closet, he had been trussed up good and tight in his sitting position. The cut on his head where Tali had struck him had congealed at this point, the blood beginning to encrust over the wound, but a lot of plasma had been spilled and coated a good portion of his head at this point. Medi-gel had been sparsely applied to the man's wounded leg and hand, just enough to stem the bleeding but not enough to begin the process of skin healing across the gaping holes that exposed raw muscle and bone. If it were not for the doping effect of the medi-gel, Tali surmised that the chilling wounds would have produced enough agony to stir Leveque back into the realm of consciousness.

Groggily and conveniently, Leveque made a few groans as he came to, his head lazily lolling back and forth as gravity imparted all its force on his relaxed muscles. His eyes drooped heavily, a side effect of the narcotics currently streaming through his blood. Right about now, his body must be feeling like it had passed into some weird temporal, partially floating while a burning sensation nipped at his insides. Leveque winced as his injuries became more apparent and his brow began to sweat.

Tali was about to make a threatening move on Leveque when Garrus beat her to it first. The turian stepped forward and grabbed a fistful of the human's hair before abruptly yanking his head up. Judging from the strangled cry Leveque made, it certainly appeared painful for him on top of the wounds he had already accumulated.

"Ah, good. You're awake," Garrus said as he released his hold on Leveque. The human began breathing erratically as he sweated in the chair, fearful of receiving more pain. "We were hoping that you wouldn't be out for too long."

"M…Medi-gel…" the human whispered through parched lips.

"You've already got a small dosage in your system and I'm willing to give you more," Garrus said. "But that all depends on how cooperative you are, Danton Leveque."

Leveque's eyes desperately tried to focus on his captors, not even bothering to deny his own identity. "I…I _know_ you…" he mused as he squinted at the turian first.

Garrus' eyes narrowed and Tali fidgeted. The lack of responses from both of them seemed to give Leveque a swell of pride as he caught his captors in a moment when they were lost for words.

"You...you're Garrus Vakarian," the man proclaimed with a smug grin. "Which makes you…" he looked at Tali, "…the quarian Tali'Zorah. Former crewmembers under the _late_ Commander Shepard, I believe. Now why would you two be interested in me at all, I wonder?"

"If you're just going to be difficult," Tali stepped forward, "then we're going to make you regret that you were ever _born_, Danton. We're not going to be cryptic with you at all. You _know_ that Shepard is alive, so just do us all a favor and tell us where he is."

"He's alive now, is he?" Leveque raised an eyebrow as his bound hand (the one that had not been shot) tapped their fingers on the wooden armrests of the chair. "This is news to me, quarian, as I could have sworn that he had been killed a year ago, during the final assault. But if he is alive, then I guess this calls for a celebration, doesn't it? Grab the trumpeters and the floats, we're going to hold a parade in our savior's honor. I'll drive the-"

"_Garrus_," Tali intoned.

The turian swung his fist and Leveque's head snapped to the side with a wet snap. Blood mixed with saliva began to drip out of his gasping mouth and he spat, clearing his palate of the coppery taste.

"You're not helping anyone with this denial act," Garrus said as he shook his fist, was dispersing the pain that his armored gauntlets had not absorbed. "Or your sarcasm. We know that you work for Cerberus, Danton. We know that you were high up in the organization to get an idea on their more important projects."

"_Worked_," Leveque grimaced. "I _worked_ for Cerberus…you know, back when it was still up and running? Back when it actually had a leader? You ought to know this, after all. You were part of the team that took it down in the end."

"So you expect us to believe that Cerberus has not reformed since then?" Garrus snorted. "Widespread organization like that doesn't just fold overnight, no matter how optimistic I am to the contrary. After all, _you're_ still around."

"Scraping together a living on Earth hardly qualifies as being in the loop, in my opinion. Would you really expect to find me in a drug lab here if I really was still with Cerberus? It's funny, because you seem to know a lot about me, Vakarian, yet at the rate your erroneous insinuations keep coming, I'd say that you don't really have much of an idea of what's going on, do you?"

Garrus scowled. "You know nothing about us or our motivations, Leveque, and yet you're remarkably well informed as well. You managed to recognize the both of us which is telling of your involvement in Cerberus' command. They don't just hand out sensitive intel like our dossiers to anyone, from our experience."

"_Please_," Leveque snorted. "Don't flatter yourself. It takes more than a change of face paint and a hood to hide your identities. Don't forget, you were among Cerberus' most wanted up until the end, for working with Shepard, as were you, Tali'Zorah. For being such supposedly informed individuals, you're remarkably dense."

Garrus said nothing at that, but rather swung his sniper rifle in a lazy arc, giving Leveque's shattered leg a solid whack. The man's eyes bulged in his sockets and his arms rattled so fiercely that it seemed his bones would break long before the chair ever would. Leveque could not hold the scream in any longer and he belted it loose before he devolved into tremors once the pain had subsided.

"Touched a nerve, did I?" the shaking human managed. "That's surprising. Given that you utilized information from your good friend Liara T'Soni to your fullest extent, I expected such an interrogation to have been handled with a little more finesse."

The drop of the asari's name caused Garrus' face to go blank and Tali's posture to stiffen uncomfortably. To Leveque, they might as well have spilled the beans for their reactions were so telling.

"Yeah," the human chuckled, "I am aware that T'Soni, in addition to being a dealer in pertinent information, is actually the Shadow Broker. All of us in Cerberus were made aware of this fact when Shepard had completed that mission concerning the original Broker in 2185. Of course, it's not like I get notifications any more regarding such developments in the galaxy."

"Then are we to assume that you know nothing about the Illusive Man's reappearance? You are not aware that he is currently in possession of Shepard in the same reasoning that we are currently now in possession of you?" Garrus asked mildly as he gave a look of confirmation to Tali. She nodded, feeling emboldened by Garrus' support. He was never the type to abandon his dear friends, even when the logic sounded crazy at first.

Leveque grimaced, clenching his teeth. "News to me as well. If the Illusive Man is indeed resurgent, then I haven't heard a thing."

"And why do you think that is?"

Leveque made a noise that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a cow being strangled. "How the _fuck_ should I know that? I wasn't part of his inner circle, if that's what you're thinking. Sorry to disappoint you, but I was only a lowly lieutenant when I was with Cerberus and was not privy to the goings on of my superiors. Fuck…man, and you're insinuating that I could have some knowledge of the Illusive Man's supposed appearance as well as Shepard's? You literally just told me evidence to the contrary concerning these guys and I'm just supposed to take your word on that, is it?"

Tali now stepped forward and prodded at the hole in Leveque's hand. "A lowly lieutenant that was never implanted with Reaper upgrades?" she asked while Leveque gasped in agony, the blood starting to flow from his wound again. "That's either a coincidence or maybe you had information that someone didn't want to take the risk of getting corrupted."

"The upgrades were _voluntary_, if you can believe it," Leveque said as he clenched his ruined hand into a fist. "The grunts had no say in the matter. The officers did. Your attempt to prove some sort of conspiracy based on slim circumstantial evidence is not really getting you very far, from my point of view."

"Perhaps," Tali admitted. "But we still have yet to pry the answers we seek out of you."

Leveque rolled his eyes as he gave an involuntary jerk in the chair. "About what? About Shepard? You put a few holes in me, drag me to this godforsaken place, drop a few bombshells related to my boss and your commander somehow being alive, and you expect me to just somehow know everything? Either you've got the wrong guy in this chair, or you've gone completely off your rocker."

Tali was getting angrier and angrier at the arrogance of this human and she made sure to reflect her displeasure with every single word that came out of her mouth. "You don't have to know the specifics, but you should have an idea of where a highly prized captive such as Shepard would be held."

_A highly prized captive…my John…_

Spitting up a gob of blood-flecked mucus onto the ground, Leveque gave a stained smile. "'_Should?'_ You're in over your head, quarian. Like I said before, you've got the wrong guy in this chair. I have no clue how to find Shepard, whether he be alive or dead. But, there are others that still live who would be better candidates for knowing how to locate that bastard who-"

Whatever Leveque had been attempting to say was rudely interrupted when Tali's foot abruptly rose and hit the human in the stomach, digging hard into his gut. Leveque wheezed, his eyes full of terror as the chair that held him began to tip over slowly, tormenting him with its pace that the call of gravity seemed to have slowed just for him. The chair, plus Leveque, hit the ground hard, rattling the human so badly that a few vertebrae were bruised from the impact.

Leveque did not have much time to see the quarian's three-toed boots walk up to his head before one lashed out towards his face, breaking his nose. He squealed as blood gushed in a sudden torrent after a loud snapping noise had resounded through his skull. Leveque felt dizzy and it took him a moment to realize that Tali had dropped to a knee and had begun whaling on him with stiff blows, pummeling the soft flesh of his face while he reeled on the ground.

"_You're the bastard!_" Tali screamed in his face as she pushed her blows to her natural limit. She did not notice Leveque's face rippling from the impacts, nor the bursts of blood that erupted with every hit. "_Where is he?!_ Where is John?! Where?! _Tell me where!_"

Tears were stinging Tali's eyes and her arms quickly felt sluggish. Overcome by a sudden tiredness, she was unable to resist the pair of hands tugging at her side, standing her up and away from the captive.

Garrus' face looked shocked as he took in the sight of the quarian with blood stains all the way up to her forearms after pulling her off Leveque. "What is the _matter_ with you?" he hissed, out of earshot of the moaning human on the floor. Continuing to shoot Tali disapproving glares, he bent down and lifted Leveque's chair up so that he was sitting upright instead of on the ground.

The human's face had certainly seen better days. In addition to the cut on his forehead, which had reopened in the brief struggle, and the broken nose, Leveque's face was now marred with a plethora of wounds that had managed to accumulate in the small time frame that Tali had been beating on him. A deep cut from the top of his nose to across the eyebrow wept fluid, his left eye was beginning to turn bloodshot, and his cheeks were so heavily bruised that they were already purple and puffy.

Garrus sighed at the damage. Already this had gone too far too fast. He was about to reproach Tali some more when Leveque gave a wheeze through the blood streaming past his lips, frothing at the corners. In spite of how much he had been hurt, the human gave a _smile_, to Garrus amazement.

"You…didn't let me…finish…my sentence," Leveque croaked through his smashed lips. "I said…that I did not know…how to find Shepard, traitor that he was…or perhaps _is_. But…I do know of…another that should."

"Tell us," Garrus whispered as he dropped to a knee, making sure that Tali was out of his sight. Leveque's head had drooped downward and Garrus tilted his head to make sure that he was still visible. "Give us a name and we'll let you go. We'll drop you off at a hospital if you wish, but you have to give us a name if you want this to be over quickly."

Tali watched with bated breath while Garrus spoke softly. She dared not take sharp inhalations lest she miss anything from Leveque but the beating of her heart was so loud it was like drums were playing right next to her ears, pounding away at her head to drive all other noises away.

"There are…many who could…know of where Shepard is," Leveque said cryptically. "But…most of them…are dead. Killed by…the Alliance…by the Council…by people like you. The Cerberus leadership…most did not survive…the war. Shepard saw to that…himself…and now…you want to find him...a man who would have killed me…given the chance."

"I don't care who it is we have to talk to," Garrus said frantically as his clawed hands gripped the front of Leveque's ruined shirt. "You said that there was someone left, someone still alive. You know who it is, tell us!"

"Surely it would be…obvious. Shepard was the one who imprisoned him…in the first place…on the APV _Gehenna_."

"_Who?_ Who, damn it, who?!"

Leveque leaned forward, his breath reeking of blood and death. "Oleg…_Petrovsky_."

Just then, a scraping sound, like boots over gravel, came through the shut doorway of the apartment. Wooden boards creaked and all eyes were instantly upon the threshold, the air so still it seemed to take on the consistency of liquid – thick and sluggish.

Leveque's ruined face twisted in a nasty grin and he craned his head and bellowed, "_Here! In here! They've got me in-_"

Furious cracks unexpectedly shot through the drywall, punched forward from a hail of bullets. One moment everything was silent, the next completely filled with noise. Garrus grabbed Tali by the shoulders after a bullet just barely missed her, causing her shields to briefly flare up, and forced her down to the ground. They shut their eyes and curled up into balls as their unknown assailants tore up the room from the automatic fire, spraying dust and debris everywhere.

Flashes of light pounded on Tali's shut eyelids and the booming bursts from the guns outside threatened to rupture her eardrums – despite the audio dampeners in her helmet. She rolled onto her stomach and kept herself low while she watched Garrus fumble for his assault rifle on his back. She dared not to move while hell raged just inches above her head.

Loud clicks then snapped from beyond the shredded walls. Garrus turned his head and met Tali's fierce gaze. They both knew what the ejection of a thermal clip sounded like. Now was their chance.

From their prone positions on the floor, Tali and Garrus aimed their assault rifles up and returned fire in short bursts. They each methodically took different areas that flanked the door, aiming their guns in straight paths that cut down the middle, right into their attackers. Panicked screams rose up and were stifled as bodies thumped to the floor. A concussive burst from Tali blew the remains of the door off its hinges, slamming wooden splinters directly into a human that had been standing behind it in the hallway, shredding him to pieces.

Distant thumps off to the right denoted that one of the attackers had panicked and was currently running away, but there was a faint zip and a sound of glass breaking which was then followed by the telltale noise of a body in motion collapsing to the ground.

The pair waited a few moments to discern if they could hear anything beyond the ruined room slowly crumbling upon itself. Hearing nothing, Garrus swiftly stood and managed a quick peek into the hallway, followed by a slower, more relaxed glance as he appraised the aftermath once he confirmed that their assailants had been taken care of.

Three humans, dressed in ragged clothing, lay dead on the floor in front of them. The one that had been torn apart from the door lay directly across the hall; large slivers of wood had impaled him in several places, skewering his torso and one of his eyes. It was amazing that the corpse was still in one piece.

Two more bodies flanked the first, both lying face down on the floor. Pools of blood had begun to spread out from where they had fallen, merely leaking at this point due to the fact that their hearts had stopped pumping. Based on the trajectory of Tali's and Garrus' relatively controlled lines of fire, the other two gunman had been cut down from the returning bullets, which had sliced through their organs like knives.

At the far end of the hallway lay another corpse, which worried Garrus. This human had fled far away from the skirmish that there was no way that he or Tali could have gotten a shot off at the man. Yet, the man was collapsed near the stairwell with the broken remains of a window crumpled around him. Either one of his comrades had shot him in the chaos for cowardice or he had somehow managed to accidentally shoot himself and break a window at the same time.

Garrus' could not afford to reflect on the contradiction right about now, as he heard a disgusted sigh come from Tali back in the room. He headed inside and saw Tali standing in front of Leveque, who was still tied to his chair. It was not until Garrus stepped around to face the trussed up human did he realize why Tali was acting so dejected in the first place.

Leveque was dead; there was no contesting that fact based on the huge hole in his forehead. A bullet, one of the first throughout the exchange, had come from the thugs in the hallway and took the top of Leveque's head off as well as half his face, spraying blood, brains, and bits of bone that had solidified onto the window. Whatever was left in the human's skull had dripped out, coating his face in a gory mask that was beginning to stink something awful. Leveque's bloated tongue lolled out from his mouth, turned black from the copious hemorrhaging. Tali just stared blankly at the bound corpse, not even nauseated from looking at the place where Leveque's eyes used to be, revealing just a pulpy center of red ooze. There would be no more chances to question him, but that did not mean that she was going to mourn his passing. He managed to serve his purpose up until the end; that would have to be enough.

A popping sound caused Tali to turn around from the grisly sight. A stone had broken through the window to land at her feet, spreading granules of glass over her boots. The rock went unnoticed, as Tali had spotted a more worrying sight beyond the hole it had left behind in the translucent window. She edged as close as she dared before pulling her head back with a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh, Keelah…" Tali whispered. "That is very troubling…"

Garrus, to his credit, kept his cool. He also took a quick peek out the hole before leaning back with a worried glance. The courtyard had been empty just previously but now there had to be at least a couple hundred humans milling about in the open area three stories below. Some humans were dressed in rags, others were bare-chested. All were touting weapons of some kind as they crowded around the entrance of the establishment, crowding the place to the brim.

And each one looked hungry for blood.

_Now we know why Liara was adamant that we exercise caution_, Tali thought to her displeasure as the mob began to chant in an unfamiliar language, creating a steady roar that began to rumble the loose panes.

Garrus said nothing, choosing instead to remain perfectly still and quiet. Tali held her rifle close to her chest, noting that her own heartbeat managed to make the barrel of the gun twitch ever so slightly, for that was how hard she was holding it against herself.

Without being cued, the foreign chanting began to cease and Tali could see out of the hole that a swath had been made in the crowd, making way for what had to be the largest human Tali had ever seen in her life.

Tali had always taken the concept of weight for granted, seeing as quarians like herself always followed a strict diet that never really allocated for the excess consumption of calories. Similarly, turians were bound by their militaristic routines which influenced their overall lifestyles, therefore any weight gain was practically impossible for them to achieve. Humans had been the most varied, in terms of body size, in Tali's experience. She had seen some humans with a little fat on them, but compared to Shepard – her personal standard of fit, they might as well have all been overweight.

This man took her perceptions and hurled them all out the window. He was so heavyset that he had to use a cane to support his legs, which wobbled with every step. Fat bulged over his belt and drooped downward, like a mushroom. His neck was nonexistent, as was his chin, a giant blob of flesh covered by a sloppy patch of fuzz that could remotely be considered a beard. He had to have weighed at least two hundred kilograms, judging from his size alone. He was the most disgusting human Tali had ever laid eyes on.

Next to her, Garrus gulped. "That is one fat bastard."

"I think we're looking at Argeir in the flesh," Tali grimaced.

"Him _and_ his five chins."

This was exceptionally puzzling to Tali because, although she had no use for such things, she knew that there were cheap solutions to curing excess weight. Humans had done well to breed the trait out in recent years and gene therapy had done the rest. Surgery to correct problems after the fact was inexpensive and quick these days, but apparently the gigantic man had either not given any consideration to such cures or, for some reason, found some small amount of satisfaction in his ailment. Either way, this man was probably not right in the head.

Down below, a thin man passed a rudimentary device over to the humongous warlord. To Tali, it looked like a black stick with a wire that trailed over to a nondescript, darkly colored box. Before she could wonder any more at its purpose, Argeir raised the stick to his lips and began to speak, his voice instantly amplified through the speaker.

"Attention, to the dumb fucks in the apartment!" His words were fierce but his voice was raspy and hoarse, brought on from the intense amount of weight pressing onto his esophagus. "Whatever you have planned to do with my associate, you need to rethink your goals and aspirations. Did you not consider the ramifications of traversing onto _my_ territory and trying to make off with _my_ loyal soldier? You are arrogant to have lingered here, not to mention stupid for even crossing me at all!"

Tali gave a glum glance at the practically headless Leveque, who was still slumped in the chair. Apparently Argeir or his goons had not considered the fact that Leveque had been killed by sloppy fire from their own guys. If these were the sort of terms he was providing, then he was going to be all kinds of disappointed.

Garrus seemed to realize that too. "What do you want to do, Tali?"

"I don't know. You think you can lob a grenade that far?"

"Even if I did hit Argeir, you think that would stop us from getting ripped to pieces by the mob?"

"It was just a suggestion," Tali said.

Meanwhile, Argeir was still drolling. "Since you've undoubtedly taken care of my advance party, I'm going to make a final offer to you, whoever you idiots are. First, you send Leveque out of the door – alive and unhurt, and you're going to follow him soon after with your weapons and armor left behind. If you comply with that, I'll only cut off the fingers from your hands and let you live. Any deviations and I'll simply have to kill you in the most excruciating way imaginable. You have ten seconds to respond."

Garrus couldn't resist yelling out this time. "Your men already killed Leveque, you fool! Might as well send in everyone you've got because we're not surrendering to you at all!"

Tali felt on the verge of throwing up but she swallowed the sensation of bile back down. Garrus looked at her and put a hand on her shoulder. "You ready for what's coming?"

In return, Tali flipped the safety off her assault rifle, a deep breath drawn despite her shaking. "There was no other alternative anyway," she whispered, mainly to herself.

For some reason, Argeir did not look angered by Garrus' challenge. Rather, he looked puzzled and stuck a finger in his ear to clear it of wax buildup. "What did he just say?" he spoke through the microphone, out towards the mob. A few grumbles went up followed by a lot of shrugging. Confused, Argeir spoke louder, back to Garrus this time. "What the hell did you say, man?"

Garrus blinked. "I couldn't have been any clearer," he muttered before he shouted louder this time, "You deaf _and_ stupid too? I said that it was because of _you_ that Leveque's dead, now shut up and bring me more of your punks to kill!"

Despite the added enunciation, Argeir and his goons still looked like that the turian had spouted a made up language towards them. Their faces were bewildered and some scratched their heads as if Garrus had thrown out a challenging riddle for them to decipher.

"I don't think they have implants, Garrus," Tali said quietly as she watched the crowd of humans wrack their brains.

"You sure?" Garrus said as he was about to yell out for a third time.

"Look," Tali pointed out. "None of them are using any omni-tools, they're using low tech equipment, and I bet that the reason why they haven't understood you yet is because they don't have a program that can translate our words into whatever language these humans speak."

"Crap," Garrus said as he stood up for a better look. "You might be right about that."

But Garrus was too clumsy in his attempt to get a visual. As he craned his neck to see through the hole caused by the thrown stone, he brought his face into full view for a brief moment, but that was enough for one out of a hundred pairs of eyes to take notice.

"_Turian!_" someone in the crowd screamed. "There's a turian in the building!"

"Alien nationals!" Argeir yelled through the microphone, his fat wobbling in alarm. "Those aren't normal street thugs, they're radicals! Kill them!"

There was no hesitation from the mob. They rushed _en masse_ at the moment the words left the large warlord's lips, all screaming unintelligibly. Many hopefuls began firing their weapons indiscriminately into the air, celebrating the intensity of the moment as they crowded at the doorway.

"Garrus," Tali said quickly. "Give me a grenade right now."

The turian complied without a word and handed over the circular disk to Tali. She quickly depressed the switch for a five second delay, reached her arm out of the hole in the window while being careful not to slice open her suit from the jagged glass, and casually dropped the device to the ground.

There was a boom and screams of pain mingled with the ones of rage. As the cloud of smoke began to dissipate in the afternoon sun, Tali could see the effects of her grenade placement. Several men lay on the ground, blood oozing from blown off limbs, as they had nowhere to go when the explosive had landed in the middle of the crowd. Other mangled remains were distributed across the cracked ground and the humans who had been away from the killing radius of the blast hunkered down on their knees, their hands clasped over their bleeding ears – temporarily deafened.

The more fortuitous aspect of the grenade was that it had collapsed the archway that had hung over the entrance to the apartment complex, causing a small landslide of extremely heavy stone fragments to block the way of the door. The members of the mob that were mobile enough from Tali's grenade either stood in place stupidly at this development, or frantically began to run out of the courtyard to look for another way in on the opposite side.

The celebration was short lived as shouts and yells coming from the nearby stairwell told her that several humans had managed to enter the place before the exit had been blocked off and that they were coming at them at breakneck speed. Tali barely had time to turn around and get her rifle properly oriented before the first human, sporting only shorts and a pistol, rushed out from down the hall and towards the room she was currently bunkered in.

A short burst from her rifle cut the first man down but there were still several more coming towards them, based on the echoes headed their way. A trio of armed denizens arrived next and began to approach Tali's position in the same brazen fashion. Garrus was the one who opened fire next and the three idiots bunched up in the hallway fell with newly formed ventilation in their chests, their faces stiffened from excruciating pain.

"Come on," Garrus said as he pulled at Tali's arm. "We're leaving."

The turian led the way to the other stairwell at the opposite end of the hall while Tali continued to cover the rear. Her weapon coughed each time a new target popped into view, her shields engaging every time an errant shot headed her way. Tali was very surprised by how easy that the humans were being felled until she realized that, not only were these gang members not implanted, they did not have personal shield generators either. But even though these thugs were ill-equipped to take on two battle hardened warriors, they still had the upper hand in numbers.

Garrus, meanwhile, was slow and methodical as he crept forward at a steady pace. He loosed only single shots at his enemies, not even bothering to boast out loud when he landed a headshot, for he was concentrating so hard. Blood and gore had stained the steps of the staircase by the time the two had reached it and they took their steps carefully so that they would not slip in the spilt brains.

The humans were not even attempting to mask their approach as they were still electing to shout and stomp their way forward while they ran at an unstealthily pace. Tali tapped Garrus on the shoulder as they descended to the second story and they hunkered into the next hallway, avoiding a patrol that zoomed up the steps without as much as a furtive glance.

"These boys have to be doped up on something," Garrus whispered as they carefully crept down the empty hallway. "Either that or they've had no formal combat training to meet our approach."

"_You_ were the one who used to be a cop," Tali shrugged. "You'd know better than me."

"Well, if it's drugs then it isn't red sand, I know that much."

A swooshing shadow caught her eye at the same time Garrus rotated to examine a nearby room. Tali had her gun up again but lowered it in the split second that it took her eyes to register the hazy shape.

A new figure was standing in the hallway; its outline was a little hazy like a mirage, but it seemed corporeal enough that Tali was having a hard time deciphering what it actually was. It was not attacking, but it was only when Tali moved forward did she manage to pierce the veil of shadow and bring light to where there had been darkness.

A face, heavily scarred and saddened, stared mournfully at her in the middle of the corridor. Tali's forearms went limp and her assault rifle dipped downward immediately as her jaw gaped open.

_This isn't…it can't be…_

"_J-John?_" Tali squeaked as the image of the familiar human looked at her, his eyes spearing through her to her soul from his stagnant position in the hall. "My…my love?"

"_Why did you let me die, Tali?_" the man with Shepard's face simply asked, his expression holding no anger but no warmth either. A cold reflection.

"Die?" Tali asked in confusion, helpless as the image began to shrink away from her. "No…no, I didn't…you're still alive!"

"_No, Tali. You let me die!_" Shepard roared before the outside light broke through his form, dissolving him into a billion dark wisps. They vanished into thin air like smoke, blending into the stuffy recesses of the foul air that permeated this section of the world.

"_NO!_" Tali screamed as she took a few steps forward, her arm outstretched to futilely grasp at the black strands. Her hand clenched, just as she expected deep down, upon nothing.

"Tali!" Garrus roared from one of the rooms nearby. "Watch out!"

The quarian turned just in time to see a thin human barrel towards her from the stairs, attracted from her shriek. He held a wicked looking knife in his hand as well as a sick grin on his face. Spittle drooled down his chin and he laughed manically as he ran forward, intent on sticking Tali in the gut with the blade.

_Damn…_ Tali's mind raced as her arms reacted too slow. _Damn it!_

With a grunt, Garrus sprung from the doorway and slammed the human into the wall, making him drop the knife and saving Tali from being slashed. With his own blade procured from the sheath on his chest, Garrus gave a brutal roar and sliced the thin man from clavicle to sternum, creating a gush of blood and exposing the white shock of bones. Tali finished him off with a rifle round to the head as she recovered, dispersing the human's cranium on the floor.

Another human sprung out, this time headed for Garrus, but Tali returned the favor by leaping forward and smashing the man in the face with the butt of her rifle. The man screamed as his temple began to bleed heavily. Tali dropped the gun and grasped the stunned head of the man before driving his face into the wall with a _crunch_. Blood splattered around the cracked indentation in the surface and the human dropped, either unconscious or dead. Tali was strangely unconcerned either way.

The smooth fabric of time was now noticeably beginning to feel warped for Tali as she stepped away from the bleeding human at her feet. Her breathing felt labored and deep, her vision blurred, and parts of the world seemed to be stuttering like they were caught in a loop. "Combat high," the soldiers called it, for the adrenaline had completely saturated her bloodstream to the point that she was swimming in the hormone.

It felt effortless to Tali as she plucked her pistol from her holster and lifted it up, almost nonchalantly. An armed gang member belted out of the nearest doorway but to Tali it looked like he was just running through mud. She could see the strained tendons in his neck, the droplets of sweat coursing off his face, and the puff of condensation emitting from his mouth as he had only death on his mind.

Pulling the trigger was therefore a simple matter and the young man collapsed with a hole in his neck. The next man foolish enough to be right behind his partner shared the same fate. Blood gushed into the air from the breached arteries, the flow gradually dying down as their hearts slowed in their beating – the very involuntary reaction that was pumping more blood out of their bodies, therefore killing them even faster.

"Garrus," Tali panted, her words sounding slurred in her head as the noises of battle evaporated like the last remnants of an echo. "Let's get the hell off this damn planet. Any plans on how to accomplish that?"

"First floor," the splattered turian coughed. "We'll try there. I have an idea."

* * *

On the opposite side of the street, Nitherius kept his own breaths comparatively shallow as he inched the crosshairs of his sniper rifle one millimeter at a time. His thermal scope was adept in distinguishing the humans storming the building across the way from both the turian and quarian that he had been following for the past couple days. The humans showed up as red blobs on his goggles, while the armor of his prey sufficiently masked their thermal signatures enough that they ended up appearing only orange on his screen.

With a careful inhalation, the little X focused upon the center of mass on one of these red blobs inhabiting the third floor of the apartment complex and he fired once he was certain that his target was going to remain still for at least two more seconds. He quickly saw the blob jerk, spun around from the impact of the bullet, and collapse. Another one just bought the farm.

Nitherius felt that he should have expected Zorah and Vakarian to make a mess of things in this city since they had previously been to two different places in the galaxy and not once did someone not end up hurt or something not get broken. This, however, was an all-new level of screw up. Not only were their intentions this time deliberately malicious, they also had managed to drag themselves into the middle of a gang's territory, starting their own little war right here in this damn city.

Biting his tongue to keep himself from audibly cursing his luck, Nitherius lined up another human in sights and pulled the trigger again, blasting a man's head off in the building a hundred meters away, causing the now _ex_-human's comrades to shout in alarm.

Nitherius had taken a few precautious to his presence in Prague. For one, he was bunkered down behind a stone railing on the roof of another building, with nothing peeking over the side so that a passerby in the streets could spot his position. Also, the railings plus the heavy overhang above him successfully muted the noises made by his already silenced rifle, creating a muffled sphere around him that prevented anyone from honing in on him through the audible signals.

The mob had not denoted his location yet and Nitherius wanted to keep it that way for the time being. There were enough problems on his mind that he did not want the additional challenge of enemy fire headed in his direction to be added to the list.

Zorah and Vakarian were no use to him dead; the Primarch had given him a task to bring both of them back to Palaven _alive_. Them being dead would accomplish nothing, which was what this cursed mob was threatening to spoil through their own actions against the two. Therefore, Nitherius had no choice but to throw himself into the confrontation; he was the one who sniped the retreating member in the advance party – the one that Vakarian had no shot at initially. He was loath to be on Zorah and Vakarian's side this time around, but he needed to make sure that their entire area would be cleared of enemies so that they could no longer screw up this operation any more.

If this job was going to be done right, then by the _spirits_, it was going to be done _right_.

He admired the initiative of Zorah; the little stunt of using a grenade to block the entrance of the building to the crowd was inspired. It had not allowed fifteen or so humans inside before the threshold blew, but it delayed them from being swarmed for a bit. All he had to do was pick off the humans still scouring the building before he could introduce himself. Now was a good moment to make his move – the heat of combat made a brilliant smokescreen for his purposes.

The remaining individuals, with the exception of the turian and quarian, were beginning to panic inside the apartments. They must have realized that their numbers were beginning to thin, having taken too many losses to only now spot a difference.

Panic did two different things to people: it either made them push themselves to work harder and faster, or it just made people freeze in place. Nitherius took full advantage of the ones that froze where they stood, creating three zips in succession from his rifle that tore through the humans he had been resting his sights on.

Just two more to go.

Quickly spotting the blazing hot blobs through the thermals, Nitherius had little trouble in putting another round through a man's spine before blowing the jaw off the final human who stood stupefied at the death of his friend. Mere target practice at this point.

With a satisfied grunt, Nitherius stood up from his position and slammed his folded sniper into the slot on his back before vaulting the stone barrier. He was now flying across the rooftops, his footing still very precise lest his trip on one of the tiles which would skid him off into the streets. A Paladin pistol found its way into the turian's hand and he held onto it tightly as he jumped from roof to roof, the apartment complex never leaving his sight.

Shouts of panic from the few remaining thugs in the courtyard reached his ears as well as the snaps denoting the sloppy fire being directed at him from below. Without so much as a second glance, Nitherius chucked a cluster grenade into the crowd and savored the screams of agony once the series of thumps blew.

Humans, always illogical.

He had almost reached the apartments by then, but he was not planning on removing the debris from the entrance to gain access. Rather, he had a different sort of introduction in mind.

Picking up into a sprint, Nitherius made sure his tactical goggles were properly secured over his face before he took a running leap over a thin alley. Mid-air, he covered his face with his arms and broke through the window of the complex to land amongst the blood-stained carpet of where he had previously sniped a few of his hapless victims.

Nitherius shook himself like a dog, brushing any stray bits of glass off him before he held his pistol aloft, finger planted to the side of the barrel like all his instructors instilled in him.

_Now, where did those two go?_

* * *

"Right here!" Garrus gestured as he walked into what appeared to be a master bedroom, based on the presence of a large charred framework of a bed in the corner. "I knew there was another way out of here!"

Tali ran into the bathroom and watched Garrus scrape aside a few tiles to expose a small hole in front of a hearth, a dark pit extending downward towards who-knows-where. The turian seemed remarkably pleased with himself.

"How did you know this was here?" Tali asked, astonished.

"I didn't," Garrus grinned. "It was just a guess. When we were in London, I noticed that all of the homes had passageways that led into the drainage system below in order to escape the Reaper troops on the surface. Since this city got hit just as bad, I imagined that an entrance to a similar network must exist in this building as well. Hope you don't mind traversing the sewers again."

"Credit where it's due, your guess was a good one," Tali admitted before glancing out the window nervously. "But, don't you think that the humans would have known about this tunnel and would have used it to get in here?"

Garrus also glanced outside, where he saw a group of ragged human males frantically try to claw away the debris from the foundation with their bare hands, creating bloody streaks on the rock from their torn fingernails; unable to heft the blockage.

"I think you're giving them too much credit in the brains department," he drawled with a hint of amusement.

"That's because _I_ manage to compensate," a deep voice whispered behind the two. "Turn around, Vakarian. You too, Zorah."

Tali muttered a curse under her breath and slowly rotated in place. A turian, draped in white armor so clean it was almost blinding, stood in the middle of the doorway to the hall, with a heavy pistol pointed directly at Garrus' head. He had a few minimal white markings on his face – of which was the darkest color Tali had ever seen on a turian, and his eyes were covered with a pair of electric blue goggles, giving him a very cold and emotionless look about him.

Her nerves were beginning to flare again, but Garrus looked more exasperated than scared. "Verdis Nitherius," he sighed. "I was wondering when you were going to show your face."

"Only at the right time, you barefaced traitor," the dark turian growled. The hand holding the pistol never wavered. "Surely you two didn't think that your actions would catch up with you, right?"

"I've managed to hold some hope," Tali said, drawing from a newfound well of courage. "It's gotten me this far, at least."

"Well, it won't get you any further. I'm giving you this one chance to come in quietly. Zorah, Vakarian, this will be your _only_ opportunity to avoid violence. Stand down and we can end this like civilized people."

"Civil? At gunpoint?" Garrus laughed. "Right, Nitherius. And we're supposed to just turn ourselves in to you after you've insulted my loyalty and my honor?"

"You deny your treachery, Vakarian?" Nitherius breathed, his subharmonics vibrating the very air around the group. "You expect me to believe that you played no part in infiltrating the Cipritini facility? I've seen the footage, Garrus. Your involvement in that little stunt is undeniable. As is your lack of honor."

Garrus began to growl unconsciously and his fringe began to twitch. Tali had never seen him look so angry before.

"You would lump me with Saren, call me a betrayer of my people when you are not aware of the entire story? I have been loyal to the Primarch this entire time! I would _never_ think of turning against him!"

"Your actions tell a different story than your words. The supposed 'story' does not matter right now, either. We all have to face judgment for our deeds, Vakarian, and the time has come for your part to come to an end."

"I played my part to help out a friend, Nitherius. Although, I'm not sure you even know the meaning of the word friendship, much less loyalty. You would really take the political fallout by capturing me just to send me off to a controversial trial? Is this really the sort of action you would take to convince yourself that your soul is pure and your honor intact?"

"You forget, I'm a Spectre," Nitherius seethed as he pressed the barrel of the Paladin against Garrus' forehead. It was apparent that the taller turian had been ruffled by the comments, though, as his back teeth were visibly bared while his mandibles twitched. "I could shoot you right now and I wouldn't even get a slap on the wrist for it, but it's only on the Primarch's orders that you remain alive. Why only make it worse for yourself by trying to aggravate me, Vakarian? That won't do you any good, I'm afraid."

"Oh, you're right," Garrus theatrically rolled his eyes. "But it will give _her_ the opportunity to strike while you're distracted. Tali?"

Nitherius whirled his head towards the quarian then bellowed as an electrical bolt knocked into his back, throwing him off balance. Tali's combat drone darted to the side and lined up another strike, but Nitherius quickly shook off his paralysis and leveled a singular shot towards the drone, causing it to fizzle out in a cloud of sparks.

Garrus was too close to use any of his weapons, so he did the only thing he thought was logical, which was to rush forward and wrap his arms around the Spectre in a hold, pinning his arms down.

Nitherius' head turned in bewilderment at the development, but he soon gave out a laugh. "So, _that's_ the way it's going to be," the turian gritted his teeth.

The Spectre slid his feet across the gritty floor for a few inches, giving himself a little more wiggle room. He then used the opportunity to viciously shunt his elbow backward directly into Garrus' gut, freeing him from the hold while his opponent wheezed. Nitherius then lifted a foot and delivered an upward kick, striking at the pistol Tali had been trying to aim at him and caused it to fly away into the air harmlessly.

While Tali yelped in pain and clutched at her hand, Nitherius shook his head to iron out the remaining kinks, and grabbed at Garrus' neck with his artificial hand, lifting him off the floor a good couple of inches. "Assaulting a Spectre…" Nitherius said almost gleefully, "I have the legal right to execute you on the spot for that little infraction."

"Never had much use for rules anyway," Garrus managed to choke out.

"Neither do I, apparently," Tali snarled as her shotgun barked and blasted Nitherius to the opposite side of the room. The turian Spectre collided with the heavy stone and crumpled to the ground, his shield generator smoking. Garrus dropped to his knees, rubbing his neck, and Tali helped him up. "I'm sure you had that under control," she said impishly to her friend.

"I certainly did," he coughed. "But thanks anyway."

Nitherius did not stay down for long. With a guttural roar, he shot to his feet and leaped back within striking range for another attack. Tali instinctively let off another blast from her shotgun but Nitherius easily avoided it and batted it to the side. He whirled and laid out Garrus with a hefty punch to the face and the smaller turian went down. Next, he turned and used his metal arm to thump Tali on the helmet, knocking her senseless, but placed precisely that he did not have to worry about creating a potentially fatal breach for the quarian.

Stars exploded in Tali's vision and she reeled with a gasp. Her gray hood was knocked askew and she stumbled in her temporary blindness. Her head _hurt_, like a knife had been jammed into her brain and given a quarter twist. It felt almost as if that blow had indented her helmet directly into her skull. Tali could feel blood beginning to trickle down the side of her head, the sensation damp and uncomfortable.

Garrus was also bleeding from the mouth, but he took his injury in stride. Recovering quickly, he bounced back and planted a two punch combination into Nitherius' side. The Spectre grunted and took a swipe, but Garrus jumped away just in time. Nitherius straightened and drew from his left holster so fast the movement was lightning quick, tired of playing games. Garrus ducked and used his arm to push the Spectre's artificial arm to the side, where the gun it was holding wen off and shattered the window beyond. Garrus' ears rung from the discharge so close to his ear, but he was inside Nitherius' stance now.

An uppercut to the jaw drove Nitherius back and a follow-up kick bruised the taller turian's chest painfully. Nitherius skidded back a few feet, coughing, but now had enough room to maneuver once again. With a dissatisfied snarl, he raised his Paladin one final time to put Garrus down permanently, but a thin shaft of light passed almost instantaneously through his metal arm, the bang sounding only nanoseconds later. Nitherius watched a hole punch itself through his left forearm and the gun tumbled out of his grip as his fingers released, the hydraulics malfunctioning.

Clutching his arm in surprise, Nitherius watched Tali straighten her aim from near the doorway and level off another shot from her pistol, which she had recovered from its position on the floor. Nitherius saw the attack coming and moved to the side, just missing the bullet but that proved to be an error on his part anyway.

A blue blur followed by a defiant roar hit Nitherius and suddenly he found himself sailing through the air as Garrus full on tackled him from a running start. The younger and smaller turian did not cease in his attack, to Nitherius' alarm, and he felt upon his back another windowpane shatter against him, and then the sickening feeling of falling came to him. He threw out his arms to arrest his fall but there was nothing to grab onto. All he could do was yell and curse himself for being so cocky as the sight of a band of discolored water rushed rapidly towards his head before it consumed him whole.

Coldness and dampness splashed upon him and Nitherius opened his mouth to yell, but only bubbles came out. Water shot into his nose, burning his sinuses and he spluttered as he kicked his feet, temporarily disoriented.

Meanwhile, Garrus stood panting as he leaned over the windowsill, managing to catch the last few seconds of Nitherius' impact into the River Vltava. White foam rippled from where the turian entered the water and he surfaced a few minutes later, gagging and furious. It was an amusing sight to watch the heavily armored turian attempt to swim, a species not known for their water tolerance to even begin with, and the air was peppered with strangled curses as Nitherius had to fight to keep water from traveling down his throat once again while he clumsily began to paddle.

As gratifying as it was to see the Spectre humiliated like this, Garrus knew that Nitherius would not let any body of water become his downfall. Without a word, he stole over to the hole in the floor, Tali already having entered it, and dropped to the ground where the air was noticeably drier and the smell equally danker.

"Did you take care of Nitherius?" Tali asked worryingly as they proceeded down the tunnel.

"He decided to take the scenic route," he responded. "But he'll be back. If he found us like this, he most certainly can find us again."

The two had picked up into a jog now, making their turns based off the cardinal directions on their compass in relation to the port on the other side of the city. Hopefully in here they would not chance upon any more surprises.

"I think we should have just killed him when we had the chance," Tali grumbled. "If he's going to keep pursuing us regardless, then we should have made sure that he would never get such an opportunity again."

"I don't think so," Garrus shook his head. "We're not going to garner any sympathy if we kill people that have been assigned legitimately to our case, even if they're just going to impede us. We're basing everything on Shepard being alive and when we find him, all of what we've done will be brought to light and we will be exonerated. We just need to hold out just a little longer."

"_I_ cannot hold out any longer, Garrus," Tali said as she hung a right down another damp corridor. "_Everyone_ will soon realize it if they haven't already. And woe to this Petrovsky if he chooses to delay me in this hunt, for he will discover rather quickly that he will not be able to hold out his secrets for very long when I get my hands on him."

"Considering your track record, I'm not too sure if he should be more afraid of your wrath, or that _I _should be from the prospect of witnessing it in action."

"We'll see, Garrus," Tali breathed as a lone shaft of light speared through the darkness, a beacon to the heavens. Tali stepped forward and watched as a ladder became pronounced from the ajar manhole above, the opening to the surface and freedom from this temporary purgatory.

_We will soon see._

* * *

**A/N: Got a chance to get some real action into this chapter - the intrigue is fun and all but at least the stakes can be heightened and accentuated with the occasional burst of violence. Now that Nitherius has revealed his hand, the window for Tali and Garrus to reach their goal has gotten a lot tighter. Only time will tell if they will be able to make it to their final destination.**

**With this chapter, we've passed the halfway point for Irreparable (a quick estimation means that I'll have another 100,000 word story on my hands soon - nice!) and things will only begin to escalate even further. As long as I don't goof off with my spare time or get run down by a vengeful cyclist (you have no idea how crazy these Californians can be) I should manage to get done with this story by the end of September. It'll definitely be the longest amount of time I've ever worked on a story thus far so I'm hoping that my quality of writing has benefited from this set schedule. I know that I won't be able to please everyone with my prose or from the wait in between chapters but I am doing this to the best of my ability so that the final product is as good as I can make it.**

**I only hope that you all find some enjoyment out of it, which is all that really matters in this case.**


	11. Chapter 10: Visiting Hours As Posted

_Earth, 2186_

_The blinding flashes and concussive pulses of the nearby detonations shook the Normandy as it passed through the cloud of fire and debris. It emerged on the other side, a little cooked, but otherwise unscathed from the boiling heat. Around it, a mob capital ships from all walks of life in the galaxy fired relentlessly upon the machine gods that spewed their deadly lasers from their undercarriages, defiant to the very end, unwilling to be subjugated._

_The cycle would either end or everything would be destroyed in the attempt._

_The last trails of the planet's atmosphere streamed off the wings of the Normandy and it headed on course straight for the wide-open Citadel that had spread its arms in the middle of the chaos and destruction, like it was bringing about its final embrace before the death knell set in._

_Red light unexpectedly began to gather in the middle of the circular ring, causing the Normandy's sensors to immediately go haywire. Sparks flew from the holographic boards as its pilot desperately tried to regain control over the vessel, but his luck would not hold out if he were to continue on his current course._

"_All ships!" the radio blared through the mess of static. "The Crucible is about to fire. Repeat, the Crucible is about to fire. All mobile units retreat to the mass relay. Fall back now!"_

_Seated in his chair, Joker could only stare at the intercom, his heart wrenching as he flirted with indecision. Retreat? But Shepard was still on the Citadel! If he retreated, then how could his commander ever have a hope of surviving the impending blast? But if he didn't fall back, then who knows what could happen to the ship and the crew. He could potentially risk all of their lives if he did not make the right decision._

_His face lined with anguish, Joker angled the ship so that he could have a direct line of sight to the Citadel from the overhead viewport, cursing himself for what he was about to do. He rotated the vessel just in time to see a bright plume of an explosion spread across the center of the station, so hot that it melted steel wherever it touched. Joker's eyes widened as the string of detonations that rippled across the station's surface never ceased to end and he automatically knew that no one on board could have survived._

_Not even Shepard._

"_Joker," a smooth voice said as a hand gently gripped his shoulder. The thin pilot turned around to see Liara T'Soni with tears in her eyes, her armor scuffed and blackened, look upon him pleadingly. "We have to go…now. We…we can't do anything."_

_Adjusting his cap so that the asari could not see his own tears, Joker managed one last forlorn glance at the ruined station, now wreathed in orange and red. The dying throes of the center of galactic civilization had picked up and the final rattle had begun – the concluding beat of the dying heart._

"_Damn it…" his voice cracked, but he maneuvered the Normandy using the jets, angling it towards the mass relay near the dwarf planet Pluto. He flipped a switch and the propulsion thrusters hummed, preparing to jump the ship into FTL speeds._

"_Tali, wait!" he heard someone cry out behind him. It sounded like Garrus, actually._

_The doors opened and Tali burst in but was quickly held back by Liara, alarmed at the state of her friend._

"_What in the name of the Ancestors are you doing?!" Tali yelled. "Turn the Normandy around, Joker! John is still on board the Citadel!"_

_The quarian looked like she had just been through hell. Blood welled from a half dozen breaches in her suit that had been sloppily patched over with medical adhesive, now stained a horrible shade of red. The purple hood draped around her had been shredded and hung off her like rags. Her visor even had a few small cracks in it and she was visibly limping from a broken foot. The way that she was clutching her side, she must have cracked a few ribs as well from the fighting on Earth's surface._

"_Tali, no!" Liara said frantically as she tried to stop her friend from clambering over Joker's seat and wresting control of the craft away from him. "It's too late! We need to leave!"_

"_It's not too late!" Tali screamed, her limbs beginning to thrash more frantically, her bad foot buckling. "Turn around, damn you! TURN AROUND!"_

"_Tali, please!" Garrus begged as he carefully began to drag the quarian away. "I'm so sorry, Tali, but we can't linger anymore or we could die!"_

"_NO! Don't you dare leave this system, Joker!" Tali cried out, her voice cracking from being strained so hard. "Get John! Rescue John! He's your captain! You have to get him! How could you?! How…how could you…"_

_Liara was now beginning to weep as she helped Garrus restrain the distraught Tali, her smooth face marred from the salty tears pouring down it. "He's gone, Tali," she whispered helplessly as she recalled the fiery inferno that had consumed the station. "I'm sorry, Tali. Shepard…is gone."_

_Tali's limbs stopped struggling at Liara's words. The asari swore that she could see the image of herself wavering in the quarian's glowing eyes as tears filled them too. As Tali's head drooped, Liara thought that her friend's wounds had begun to take their toll, bringing her to the brink of death, and she was about to scream for a medic before Tali found a new burst of energy and thrashed so fiercely that she almost broke free of Garrus' grip._

"_LIAR!" Tali shrieked. "You're lying! He's not dead! HE'S NOT DEAD!"_

"_Tali," Garrus began, his voice also heavily rasping from emotion. "I-"_

_He never got a chance to finish his sentence because Tali squirmed in his grip, giving her enough room to slug him full on in the face with her clenched fist. The turian squawked and released her, holding a hand over his now bloody cheek. Tali wrenched her way out of Liara's weakened grasp and began to run, not towards the cockpit controls, but back out into the hallway, sobbing hoarsely._

"_John!" she screamed out loud, but no one answered her. "JOOOOHHHHNNNN!"_

_Garrus coughed as he sat on the floor and Liara pursued her friend in a daze. Tali staggered in the middle of the hall as the ship shook around her, the blue streaks outside denoting that they had dropped out of C-space and into the realm of FTL travel. They were away._

"_John…" Tali whispered, her lips projecting the word like a prayer. "John…I love you…"_

_Her knees abruptly crumpled and the image of the CIC tilted as she imagined the ship caught in a squall of turbulence. Right before she hit the floor, she dimly heard Garrus call, "She's fainting! Catch her, catch her!"_

_But no one was around to arrest her fall and the grating of the floor swiftly came up to meet her head._

_There was a bang and then the world went black._

* * *

APV _Gehenna - _Asgard System

Present Day

From the docking bay of the Alliance Prison Vessel _Gehenna _to the out-processing lobby, it was clear that all manufacturers of incarceration ships went by the gold standard of cold and lifeless architecture – presumably to intentionally demoralize their inhabitants. Not one panel throughout the halls was covered, not one single shred of warmth lay draped around the place. Just the usual mesmerizing and endless rows of barebones struts welded together in a haphazard manner by the lowest bidder.

A little extra color would also do wonders for livening the place up, but all prisons seemed to share the same specifications as far as decorations went: drab and gray.

From space the _Gehenna_ appeared as a floating giant rectangle. It was limited in the way of windows and it projected little to no light from the main body. A singular navigation tower was perched on the topmost part in the middle, but aside from that, there were barely any more protrusions that jutted out from the hull.

Built at the shipyards of Venus, the _Gehenna_ was a prison meant to house enemies of the Alliance instead of relying on regular government and public sponsored prisons. Shipped out to the Asgard System to distance itself from the Local Cluster as a precaution for any jailbreaks hitching an easy ride, a spot in the space between the planets Loki and Tyr was deemed the best place for such a facility to reside due to its distance from anything particularly of note.

If Tali was looking for warmth, she had certainly come to the wrong place, but the time had passed for turning back long ago. All she could see was that never-ending tunnel projected in front of her and the hollow noise her boots made upon the rickety grate were the only sounds that echoed. The stars through the windows flanking the current hallway shimmered but their extreme distance made their glint equally as frosty, giving more isolation to this forsaken place.

Beside her, Garrus grumbled. "Reminds me of Purgatory all over again. Spirits, how I hated that place."

"Never did visit it," Tali offered, the first words out of her mouth for hours. She shifted the long gray hood over her helmet anxiously as she looked around. "John told me all about it, though. He said that you guys ran into a bit of trouble when trying to recruit Jack, if I recall correctly."

"Ran into an overzealous mercenary warden who thought that he could turn a profit by imprisoning us. Needless to say, it was a mistake on his end. We did end up with the psychotic biotic in the end, so I guess that's something."

"I don't think we'll run into that sort of problem," Tali offered as the two approached the entrance doors to the main facility. "We're not picking anyone up, and hopefully this person is not as crazy as Jack. Besides, this is an Alliance vessel, not run by mercenaries, so they're not going to be liable to throw us in here."

"Yeah, but they've apparently outsourced a few of the roles here," Garrus grimaced. He was referring to the pair of turians flanking the first checkpoint ahead of them, an oddity as all turians were inherently part of the Hierarchy and not the Alliance. "The war must have hit the place pretty hard for them to accept outside help."

"You sound worried."

"I'm not, but you can never be too careful."

Tali snorted. "Tell me about it."

They reached the door and it opened automatically to admit them. A helmeted human guard manned a protected booth to the side and the two of them stepped up to it, Garrus taking the lead to address the clerk.

The human glanced upward at his two guests and down at his computer monitor. "This is an unscheduled visit," the man declared, his voice crackling from the voice box in his helmet. "State your names and purpose."

"Garrus Vakarian and Tali- er…Zorah vas Rannoch," Garrus replied in a neutral tone, but with a quick glance towards his friend as a silent signal. "We're here to speak with one of your inmates – Oleg Petrovsky."

"Petrovsky? What do you want with him? And furthermore, you must realize that you being here without a direct notification first is highly irregular."

"What, do prisons not allot for any visiting hours?"

The guard did a double take and sized Tali and Garrus up. "This is a _military_ vessel," he replied stiffly. "We are not some privately funded escapade to dispose of problems governments are unwilling to perform. This is a fully functioning ship of the Alliance fleet and we abide by our own mandated rules here. I am aware of your services the both of you performed as liaisons between your people – the Hierarchy and Flotilla, I mean – but official protocol mandates that I not allow civilians onto this vessel unless I get a notification from a supervisor denoting that you have made arrangements ahead of time."

Garrus didn't so much as bat an eye but before he could respond, Tali stepped up and took over. "Look," she said evenly, "since you know that we used to be part of Commander Shepard's crew, I'm sure that we can get a few people on your end to vouch for our trustworthiness, if that's what it takes. Otherwise, what could you possibly stand to gain by keeping us here until the necessary paperwork can come through?"

"As it stands, Miss Zorah, I cannot-"

"As it stands, mister-," Tali broke off her interruption to look at the guard's name tag, "-_Sellers_, Garrus is an official aide to the Primarch of Palaven and I am an admiral of the Flotilla, not at all civilians – which you _should_ have been aware of. We both carry high ranks within our own people, our reputation during the war can be corroborated by multiple eyewitnesses, and you obviously know that we can procure the kind of references you need to access the cells, so why waste our time with all of this red tape?"

"Look, _Admiral_ Zorah," Sellers said as he shrugged defensively, "I do know that you and Mister Vakarian are the most trustworthy people that have visited this place in a long time, but my superiors stress that we follow admittance protocol to the letter. The very notion that you would even want to see a war criminal like Petrovsky in the first place-"

"What about it?" Tali gave a chuckle. "Are you thinking that the two of us, a quarian and a turian, would conspire to set a high-ranking member of an organization committed to exterminating non-humans _free?_ You know, I do still have fresh memories of the time Cerberus infiltrated the fleet – my _home_ at the time – and slaughtered a bunch of my people. I have found it easier to forgive a machine race that has preferred peace as a logistical outcome but I will be long dead before I can even _think_ of forgiving someone who knowingly and consciously gave the order to execute a quarian like me just for the petty reason of getting in their way."

"Even so," Sellers mumbled, "there might be concerns for Petrovsky's safety considering the natural grudge you may hold against him."

"I've never met the man, and I'm assuming that you'll take our weapons before we enter the blocks which means that there should be nothing to fear. Plus, you'll probably have a guard on point to make sure that we don't do anything rash. All we want to do is talk to Petrovsky and we'll leave willingly after that."

Sellers shifted in his seat, visibly uncomfortable. Tali could tell that the human was mulling over his options in his mind and sensed that she was close to getting what she wanted. She kept her breathing steady, not declaring victory just yet.

Sighing, Sellers lay his hands flat on the desk. "You do realize that ever since Shepard dropped Petrovsky off here from Omega, he has been quite cooperative with his disclosure over Cerberus' activities in exchange for a reduced sentence? What further information could the man have withheld from us when he has been very open to us? But if he has indeed withheld information from the Alliance and once you are aware of its significance, the Alliance does have the right to question you if it puts our national security at risk."

"All we know is that our business concerns things outside of your precious national security," Tali responded with steel in her words. "And that is how far it will go. No threats to the Alliance, no secret agenda, nothing of that sort. You have my word."

The guard tapped his gauntleted fingers together for a moment before he gave a shake of his head and typed on his console, going through the necessary information. After he performed that, Sellers leaned over and ejected a large tray that slid out from his workstation into the lobby.

"I've inputted you into the system as guests," Sellers said. "Leave your weapons in the tray. Knives too. You'll get them when you return." Sellers tilted his head and then nodded. "Oh, and don't try to sneak anything through. We've got sensors before the next checkpoint so now's your only chance to dispose of your firearms otherwise we'll take them from you permanently."

Tali and Garrus quickly complied and filled the bin with their motley assortment of guns and ammunition. The guard did not give the deadly collection a sideways glance and pointed in the direction of the access door, which had just been unlocked. "You may enter now."

"Thank you," Tali said as they headed on through.

As the door closed behind them, Garrus tapped Tali on the shoulder. "That was _brilliant_," he said, awed. "Where did you learn to smooth-talk someone like that?"

"You hang around John long enough, you pick up a few things," she shrugged, managing a smug grin. "But," she suddenly hissed, "_I'll_ introduce myself from now on."

"Something I said?"

"I just don't want anyone calling me out on my behalf anymore."

A light went off in Garrus' head and he quickly realized the mistake he had made earlier. "Right, sorry about that."

The next doorway was preceded by a sullen looking turian, and he beckoned Tali and Garrus closer. "Step towards me at an even pace in single file," he called. "EM scan's going to go off if you still have any weapons on you. Your omni-tool processes will be shut off momentarily from the magnetic field so if you've got any rogue programs running, they will automatically be reset. You're going to be in the dark from this point on."

Tali took the lead and proceeded at a slower pace with Garrus right behind her. As she walked, there was a distinct hum in the air as the electromagnetic field was switched on. The guard on the opposite end still looked bored, but Tali was positive that she could feel a slight tickle through her suit to accompany the buzz she felt in her head – making her the complete inverse of disinterested.

As she walked, Tali could not see the invisible bolts of static electricity arcing off of her into the metal floor. Her enviro-suit conducted the charges well, but the micro-tracker still stuck upon her arm, underneath a flap of fabric, was still exposed to the energy and worse yet, made of metal. Unbeknownst to Tali, a stray flash of a built-up static charge raced toward the tracker, brought on by the rubbing of fabric upon her, and struck the tiny device. Before its components were fried for good, the tracker's signal just barely penetrated the hull of the _Gehenna_ and raced into space towards anyone who was listening and the device soon quieted with an inaudible sizzle; completely lifeless.

Tali made it to the end to wind up face to face with the bored guard while Garrus was finishing with his own scan. A quick glance at his readouts told the turian that the two guests were not concealing any additional weapons and he sent them on through, leaving him alone once again to wallow in the maddening silence of his dead-end career.

A pair of heavily armored humans were waiting for them on the other side of the doors. Tali eyed them apprehensively before one of them gave her a professional smile.

"Admiral Zorah, Captain Vakarian," the man greeted.

_Captain?_ Tali wondered as she shot her friend an apprehensive glance. His slight bump of an elbow told her that she could ask him about it later.

"I'm the warden of this vessel. My name's Robinson," the man said. "I'm just here to make sure that this visit follows all the correct procedures despite the many irregularities already accumulated."

"We just hope to be out of here shortly," Garrus answered briskly. "May we see Petrovsky now?"

"Of course," Robinson answered with a simper. "Sergeant Banes will accompany you from here on out. He will notify me immediately if there are any problems."

"I guarantee you there will be none," Garrus said with a slight dip of his head. Robinson answered with a curt nod and turned on his heel to walk away briskly.

"Right this way," Banes grunted as he began walking towards a separate corridor. Tali and Garrus dutifully followed him as they walked through the next threshold and into the first wing of the prison ship.

"You never told me that you were a captain," Tali whispered to Garrus.

"The Primarch had no choice but to give me an official rank when I came back to Palaven," he responded. "He said that I wouldn't get much respect from the troops otherwise. I guess the warden does his homework."

Traversing deeper into the _Gehenna_, the first thing that Tali noticed down the first hall was that there were a lot of empty cells that lined up to her left. Banes was just leading them past an unoccupied wing, it seemed. A row of tiny vidscreens hung from hooks on the ceiling, leading endlessly down as far as she could see. The strange part about them was that they all were playing what looked like a children's cartoon, the sound of high-pitched laughing coming to her from the tinny speakers, scratchy from years of neglect. Also as odd was the fact that the cells positioned to the opposite of these screens seemed to use an archaic technology considering the containment of prisoners as there were no force fields keeping them back, but heavy barred doors instead. Tali thought it rather curious that the gates keeping the inmates in would allow for their limbs to reach out into the hallway and potentially create havoc.

Garrus seemed to have the same thoughts. "When I was on Purgatory they used force fields to contain their prisoners," he spoke to Banes. "How come you guys just have bars in this place?"

"We _used_ to have force fields," Banes grumbled, "but when the Crucible fired, it did a hell of a job in shorting out all of our electronics temporarily. Problem was that this being a prison, any cut in power has the unfortunate consequence of releasing the prisoners out into the halls. Long story short, when that happened, we had ourselves a little ruckus for an hour."

"Was it a bad one?"

Banes laughed. "Heh, not really. We had shipped out most of the inmates over to Earth before the big attack to help out on the front lines so the ones who were left behind didn't put up much of a resistance. The man you're about to see didn't even get out of his cell to join the pathetic crowds trying to mount an assault. He simply laid in his bed and read a book."

"So why the bars?"

"Oh yeah, right. Well, once we had the riot sorted out, we procured bars from one of the storage wings and welded them in as fixing the shield generators was too complex of a job for us. That little incident also highlighted the potentially fatal problem of leaving a stage of confinement dependent on an uninterrupted stream of power. Besides, bars just _work_. Cheaper too."

"And the vidscreens with the cartoons on them?"

Banes gave a nasty grin. "That's just to keep everyone calm. Can't show crap like the news or violent movies otherwise some of the nastier inmates will just get overly stressed and no one wants that to happen."

Garrus blinked. "I guess that makes sense."

"It makes perfect sense, but I really do get tired of the constant cheerful singing some days."

Tali turned away from the guard's griping as they began to travel over a walkway spanning what appeared to be an exercise compound. The floor several stories beneath them was barren, snow white, and sparsely dotted with a few humans in orange jumpsuits grudgingly trudging around the area as they tried to stave off their boredom through physical activity and other various exertions that did not involve much violence against their fellow man.

As Banes went off on a spiel to Garrus, giving the turian the equivalent of a guided tour, Tali looked up at the numerous screens above her, strangely drawn to the colorful content. When she was a child, she had never watched that many vids or streamed content, outside of the occasional romance that a pilgrim had managed to procure, and she found the smooth animation to be rather sublime and the overall message to be hopeful. Guess these things really did work at being calming.

She folded her hands behind her and continued to watch the show, despite not knowing much about it given the current context, and was therefore frustrated when a tiny bit of static fizzled at the edges of the screens, slightly distorting the picture. Bad connection, perhaps.

Just then, the images of bright and happy people, exaggerated by the hues and art style, ceased to exist for a horrifying second. The picture repeatedly switched back and forth, like lightning touching down upon a plain, giving Tali a glimpse of a man, dressed in a fine suit, standing over a bare-chested human strapped to a table. She was only able to see that the human that was lying down was covered with a wealth of scars before the Illusive Man turned to the camera, his artificial blue eyes unnaturally bright, before he gave a silent mocking sneer.

The man held down on the board opened his mouth in a faint moan, blood trickling from a dozen cuts on his torso. He lifted his head up feebly and the face of Shepard pleaded to the camera for mercy, for the pain to finally cease, but his prayers went unvoiced, and his salvation remained elusive.

And then the horrible images stopped as if the channel had casually been changed. The cartoon resumed, the characters oblivious to the fact that they had just been upstaged by more worrying, potent content.

Tali was dumbstruck. She walked up to the nearest screen, her hands shaking as she felt herself slipping away once again. This had been the first time she had seen Shepard actually alive! It was true, she had known it! But he was still in danger and in the grip of an absolute madman that even the footage of Shepard still being alive failed to elicit much joy in her.

_Pain…so much pain. John needs me! I have to get to him right NOW!_

A hand clapped on her shoulder without warning and Tali jumped, whirling around to face a surprised Garrus and an impatient Banes behind him. She didn't even realize that she had been standing still for so long.

"Tali?" the turian asked. "You okay? You seem…troubled."

That was an understatement, now that she had a few extra seconds to process her surroundings. And…did her chest always feel this cold? It was almost if she had been frozen from the inside, icicles spearing through her chest to stay her heart.

What was going on here?

"You…" she croaked out as she glanced back and forth between Garrus and the vidscreens. "You didn't see…?"

"See what? Tali?"

The quarian looked back and intently peered at the nearest screen. The animated shapes proceeded as normal in their happy little world, oblivious to the dark environment they currently served. Nothing else was out of the ordinary here, or at least for this moment.

"N-Never mind," she mumbled, not exactly sure how to explain such an occurrence. What was that, anyway? Was her head playing tricks on her or was the Illusive Man deliberately trying to shake her up and distract her with these visual taunts?

But it still would not work, she determined. As frightening as it was, these images still meant that John was alive…somewhere.

Continuing on, Banes led them for another half minute until stopped at a corner and pointed down the hallway. "Petrovsky's in the far cell to your right. No funny business, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Tali answered as she slowly took her next steps.

The moments immediately preceding the guard's blunt dismissal were akin to walking in a thick fog for Tali. She knew where she needed to go but she could not see her goal in front of her. The thick soup of her consciousness had trouble filling in the blanks and she gradually sped up her pace, eager to part the mists and reveal the next piece of the puzzle to her.

When she finally did reach the final cell, Tali was surprised at the man inside. Oleg Petrovksy, the former general who led the siege of Omega, sat on a chair a few feet away from his own set of bars. She recalled Shepard describing the man to her after he had conducted his mission on the rocky station, but the person inside was far different than the image she had in her head. Archive photos depicted Petrovsky as being not a portly man, but he was big enough to command the attention of those around him. Right now, the man was thin and gaunt, his hair and goatee ghost white. He wore the rumpled suit of a _Gehenna_ inmate, but his eyes could have been forged from platinum. They did not blink nor did they ever remove themselves from Tali's own fierce stare.

Prison had not been kind to Petrovsky, but it had not broken him either.

"Well, well, it's been a while since I've had visitors," the ex-Cerberus general said quietly. His voice was hoarse from not being used too much, but there was still the sophisticated trace of an accent deep behind his words. "What is more interesting is that you two are the only non-humans I've seen in…going on three hundred and ninety-four days, by my count. Tell me, what would the famous Tali'Zorah and Garrus Vakarian want with someone like me?"

Petrovsky's tone was surprisingly pleasant, with the air of one going out for afternoon tea. Tali was more surprised by that little tidbit rather than by the fact that yet another person had recognized them on sight alone, despite their flimsy disguises. Being discovered had happened to her enough times in the past few days that she just did not give a damn anymore.

Despite her better judgment, Tali walked up so that she was inches away from the bars, close enough that if he wanted to, Petrovsky could have leaped up and made a grab at the quarian's neck. Instead, his unchanging expression remained except for his eyes which tracked Tali's every move. She found the man to be quite eerie, sensing that this man held a pit of ice water in his chest instead of the uncontrollable fire found in most people.

This fact alone made her nervous but she was determined not to show that.

Converting her uneasiness into hatred for the man across from her, Tali bared her teeth unseen. "For any other time, I would settle for killing you to answer for Cerberus' crimes against my people, Petrovsky, but I'm willing to amend my prejudices…for now."

That at least got Petrovsky to arc an eyebrow in return. "That's quite the opening to our tête-à-tête, Miss Zorah. It certainly is rather rude to start out with a contemplation of killing someone in spite of the fact that you undoubtedly need my help for some reason, given your presence in front of me. Would you care to try again?"

The sheer smugness of this human was already irritating Tali to no end. _Are all Cerberus operatives equally obnoxious? _"Listen, you _bosh'tet_," Tali growled, already being reminded of Miranda, "I'm not here for you to lecture me-"

"-Not at all, but you are here because I know something _you_ don't," Petrovsky interrupted with a tiny smile, as though he knew the aggravating effect he was having on the quarian across from him.

Tali was now considering throwing herself at the bars in a futile attempt to strangle the answers out of the man, but logic kept her in place for now…as did the barrier. "That is correct," Tali said through clenched teeth. "So I don't think I need to remind you that if you cooperate things will be easier for you overall?"

"Hardly, I'm fully aware of the psychology of an interrogation. I've been subjugated to enough of them from the Alliance in the past year than I ever gave out in my whole life."

"Oh yeah?" Tali crossed her arms. "And what _did_ the Alliance interrogate you about? Or was it more like a confession? Shepard did mention to me that you were interested in making a hasty deal when the two of you first met face to face that I'm betting that you were hardly coerced when you spilled out everything you knew about Cerberus."

The effects of the jab gave a little more color to Petrovsky's otherwise pale face. "I offered Commander Shepard information regarding the Illusive Man and Cerberus," the man scowled, "seeing as I was a prisoner of war at that point and I knew that withholding any information at that point in time would not get me out of a place like this any sooner. Cooperativeness does account for years served, believe it or not."

"I think that you were just _scared_," Tali smirked. "Aria T'Loak was about to kill you and you told Shepard what he wanted to hear in order to save your miserable skin. You did have good information, I bet, but you offered it early to prevent your head from becoming a permanent decoration upon Aria's desk."

That brought a frown to Petrovsky. The disgraced general stood up, the back of his legs reversing the chair across the floor, and he said stiffly, "I believe that concludes our conversation from here on out, Miss Zorah." He turned his back abruptly and started to head over to his cot.

Tali's heart jolted. She had gone too far and let her impulsiveness do all the talking. Now the very person who was in her way had closed himself off and the bars designed to protect others were now ironically protecting him from Tali forcing herself onto him and beating him until he talked.

"Leveque told us to find you!" she blurted out in desperation, her chest pounding to the point where it was painful to breathe.

To her everlasting relief, Petrovsky stopped moving and his hands hung limply at his sides. "Leveque?" he asked as he turned his head. "_Danton_ Leveque? Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. How is Lieutenant Leveque doing these days?"

"He's dead."

The bluntness of the statement cause Petrovsky's face to grow dark with a grimace. "He was killed on accident by members of a gang he was with on Earth," Tali quickly corrected, almost stumbling over her words. "They were gunning for us and he was caught in the crossfire. We were responsible for his death, I admit, but we were not the ones who ended his life."

Petrovsky squinted like he was analyzing Tali very closely. Tali suddenly felt self-conscious as she tried very hard not to look into the human's gray eyes, for fear that they would bore into her soul and carve out her deepest secrets and leave them exposed for all to see. Her air passageways felt clogged and she took a ragged inhalation, unwilling to be cowed in front of this man.

The human's scowl quickly cleared up after a few more seconds and he waggled a finger at Tali in amusement. "Most assume that quarians would be inherently good liars, but I consider myself to be a good judge of character, even without facial cues. I believe that you're telling the truth."

Tali let out a breath she did not even know she had been holding as Petrovsky returned to his seat. The human resumed holding his confident exterior as he crossed his legs and clenched his hands together. Tali really had the urge to topple the man out of his chair by now.

"But…I must ask," Petrovsky said in mock thought, "If indeed Danton told you to seek me out, then should I be aware of the methods you took to get that sort of information from him? Were they of the violent sort?"

Luckily, Garrus was there to answer before Tali said something laced with emotion. "Truthfully, he lacked the concept of cooperativeness that you possess. It was quite the frustrating endeavor to wean even your name from his head. We're hoping that what happens in the next few minutes or so does not have to get quite so…drastic."

Petrovsky chuckled at that. "I appreciate your honesty and frankness towards the subject. Yes, Danton was a good aide to me but he was always a bit on the erratic side. Without the guidance of a structured organization like Cerberus controlling him, I was afraid that he would fly off the rails at some point. This whole gang nonsense was not really a far cry from where I could envision someone like him ending up. A shame, really. I quite liked him."

"But whether you _do_ know what we have come looking for is another story altogether," Tali said.

"Very true, but I still haven't heard a question…or what I can obtain from this exchange."

"Well, what do you want?"

"If I'll be honest," Petrovsky considered, "my life in prison has not been as bad as I thought. I get a quiet place all to myself, I am able to read whatever I like, and I don't starve. However, the monotony of my day-to-day routines do get very tiresome, and I know that I have to sit them out for another five years until the Alliance allows me parole at the very least."

Five years did not seem like enough time for this scum to Tali, but she just had to keep her jaw shut for just another hour if she wanted to get out of here with what she wanted. "And…?" she pressed impatiently.

"And since you are a quarian admiral, a person who has held _counsel_ with Shepard in the past," he let the word linger a bit, "you might hold the necessary ability to sway the powers-that-be into knocking off a year or two of my sentence for my willing participation."

"You _assume_ that," Tali said, unconvinced. "What makes you think that I have that ability at all?"

"Call it an educated guess. You have contacts in the Alliance that can make my internment inside this place a little less lengthy. I know that Admiral Hackett will be amenable to a friend like you, Miss Zorah. Besides, I've done my research. You have a tenacity to repay your debts in kind, so I'm curious to see if quarian hospitality still has weight in this day and age."

"You know that I won't be able to guarantee such a thing…" Tali mused.

"I am aware, which is why I'll answer to the best of my ability on whatever quandary you're facing at the moment and I hope that you'll appreciate my truthfulness by at least making an effort to reduce my sentence here. If not, well, let's just say that in five years' time when I get out I will be extremely…_disappointed_."

That last word sounded exactly like a threat to Tali, but she was not stupid enough to question its double meaning in front of the man.

"…Noted," Tali growled. "I'll see what I can do."

Petrovsky gave his first full smile of the day as he clapped his hands. "Excellent, then. What is it you wish to know?"

For one second, Tali almost said that she was trying to locate Shepard, her long lost love, to this…filth of a consciousness. She broke off her sentence as she considered the full effect of her words before she spoke them. Why should she reveal her soul and true thoughts to a man with fuzzy ties to a terrorist organization? Petrovsky could not understand how much Shepard meant to her, nor would he be interested in any way concerning their relationship and that was putting things mildly. If he knew the whole truth, then he could use it as leverage against her, delaying this chase even more.

She had already promised herself that she would not be forestalled any longer.

"Cerberus…" she whispered before continuing. "Cerberus, Petrovsky. It's not dead yet and we need to stamp it out before it grows again."

The human closed his eyes, deep in thought. "Cerberus still exists, you say? That is interesting, and also worrying given the implications for the current state of the galaxy…" He shrugged as if to leave the topic open in a menacing manner.

"Cerberus has taken something from me. They're planning bad things, Petrovsky, and they need to be stopped. I need to know where they would hide items of extreme interest. A…a prisoner of war, specifically."

Petrovsky stroked his goatee. "A prisoner, eh? That's what you're looking for? Curious. Equally so of the fact that you want me to openly betray once again the organization to which I belonged to for years."

Tali gave out a disbelieving laugh. "An organization that purposefully _indoctrinated_ innocent civilians and attempted genocide on almost every race in the galaxy while its leader tried to side with the Reapers? Are you really telling me that you're going to defend them now, after all that has happened?"

"One can never be too careful. You blather too much about anyone with power and sooner or later that greater power will most likely make an attempt on my life. If Cerberus has indeed returned as you say, then I don't think they would take too kindly to those who have participated in its downfall in any matter, big or small. I've been off the radar for this long, Miss Zorah, and I'm skeptical on how I can remain so from what I can tell you."

"While you're grappling with your conscience, I can always call up Hackett and ask him to extend your sentence by a few more years. Your call, Petrovsky."

The aged human sighed bitterly. "You drive a hard bargain."

"Neither of us can afford to wait any longer," Tali said. "Cerberus prisoners, _where are they?_"

"Well, I can say with some certainty that there were several vessels devoted to such a task. The Alliance asked me a similar question as well when I first came here. I would assume that the ships you're talking about would either be captured or destroyed by now."

"I'm not talking about a ship," Tali shook her head. "I'm talking about a place where Cerberus would take its most _prized_ prisoners. It can be any location, not just a ship."

"Ah, as in prisoners for special experiments, I would assume?" Petrovsky said. "Judging by your vehement attitude and devotion to the topic, could I be right in guessing that you think Cerberus, or what remains of it, has _Commander Shepard_ in its custody?"

Tali felt that she should be stunned from Petrovsky's accurate deduction, but exasperation and acceptance took over instead. Anger did not come to her, but disappointment that she was not even able to keep Shepard's return from the dead a secret from this man. No matter what, she was able to screw something up.

"Do you know of such a place or not?" she sighed.

Petrovsky did not gloat at this information, but bumped his eyebrows in surprise. "So, Commander Shepard still lives. I have to say that I'm stunned, Miss Zorah. After I had heard what happened at the end of the war, I was pained to hear that the commander had passed during the fighting. I'm sure that you're exhilarated, what with your relationship with the man at all."

"Save it," Tali drawled. "It's _your_ organization that's holding him, remember? Your pity doesn't mean a thing to me."

"I am curious as to how Cerberus in its current state could have managed to hold onto Shepard in secrecy, but all big secrets must come out sooner or later, I suppose. Oh, and don't worry about me, Miss Zorah. I haven't been involved with Cerberus since Shepard threw me in here and I don't intend on going back to them. You did have a point in that they carry an even bigger stigma than when I left and that would be something that I'm keen to avoid in the future."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"Quite right you are. The only thing that comes to mind right now, at least for holding someone of Shepard's importance, would be Cerberus' TRAIN Group."

"TRAIN Group? Where is it? Is it in this system?"

Petrovsky laughed. "I'm afraid that the problem is a little more complex than that. TRAIN actually stands for Tradecraft Intelligence, which used to be Cerberus' skunkworks – their secret and radical team devoted to all sorts of black projects. Many of their innovations came from reverse engineering technology from other races and modifying them for mass production. Mechs, shield generators, you name it. TRAIN also ran a bunch of secret missions that involved the assassination of political figures, corporate espionage, and illegal human modifications. They even were responsible for Shepard's resurrection for the first time when he was shot down over Alchera. They were the manpower behind the feat, the brains behind the man."

Tali was unconvinced. "I'm still not sure what exactly the problem is."

"You see, TRAIN doesn't have a set location that I can just point out on a map. They're a _mobile_ group, Miss Zorah, and you can bet that if Cerberus is still around like you have told me, then they have TRAIN up and running at full swing. TRAIN is what they rely on to make all of their major moves and if they could bring Shepard back the first time-"

"-Then they can do it again," Tali gasped. "Where is TRAIN? Where is it? You have to know where they operate out of!"

"I already told you," Petrovsky gave a meek shrug, "TRAIN is mobile. They don't even have a specific ship assigned in their name. They shuttle themselves from location to location, making them extremely hard to track. And do you think that I, being in this prison for over a year, could possibly know the location of Cerberus' most secretive group when they go about switching their location in the galaxy each _month?_"

That was it. A dead end. It had all been for nothing. Petrovsky did indeed have information but he was too out of the loop to be of relevance. Tali was about to yank on the bars and scream in rage before Petrovsky's face lit up and his lips parted in a sly grin.

"Although, there still might be someone privy to that information that you could speak to."

"Who is it?" Tali grabbed onto the bars of Petrovsky's cage desperately. "Where are they?"

"You have to understand, Miss Zorah, that it's a long shot of what I'm about to tell you, but it could very well be the best chance to bring Commander Shepard back."

"Then tell me!"

Petrovsky's face was set as he recounted to Tali. "Back on Omega, my operation was emboldened by tech that was directly connected to Cerberus' mainframes on their own stations. They allowed me to receive my orders and communicate with the rest of the leadership utilizing encrypted channels that even the best Alliance codebreakers couldn't crack. Now, as far as I know, the codes were never broken for our communiques as you had me here to sell out the remaining forces, and I suspect that the Council's cyberwarfare division has not been paying any heed to potential Cerberus broadcasts since our supposed folding, which means that the entire digital infrastructure – if salvaged – has been put to use by the _new_ Cerberus. First rule of business: never start completely from scratch. I'll bet a year of my life that whoever is in charge of Cerberus now is using those same channels, the same _codes_, to communicate, and the TRAIN group will be utilizing them as well. You could be able to track them that way."

The human's eyes turned frosty. "That is…if _she_ hasn't gotten rid of the necessary equipment to do so by now."

"'_She'?_" Tali tilted her head. "Who's 'she'?"

"Why, _Aria T'Loak_, of course. She confiscated all of Cerberus' equipment once she retained control of Omega. Knowing her…direct nature, she would have probably tossed out anything that reminds her of our little coup, having taken it a little _personally_. If the tech is still in working order, it should be able to pick up on any recent Cerberus communications, thus allowing you to find TRAIN."

"But you're saying to find Shepard at all, we need to go to Omega?"

"Precisely. If your luck happens to run out there, then…" he frowned, "…then I hope you manage to succeed in the end, Miss Zorah."

"I'm a little surprised," Tali admitted through her now quaking limbs, Petrovsky's indifference getting to her once again. "I would have thought that you would not be willing to help bring Shepard back when he put you in this place, after all."

"Shepard was just doing his duty as a soldier," Petrovsky said mildly. "And he did prevent Miss T'Loak from caving my head in. Add to that the fact that he _was_ responsible for the galaxy's survival from the Reapers and I've come to the conclusion that we're all better off by having him around. "

"You can offer me all of the sympathies you want, but I'm still not going to believe that they're genuine. I personally doubt that you really care if Shepard comes back or not."

"On the contrary," Petrovsky said as he stood up and moved so that his face was almost touching the metal bars, close enough so that his breath barely fogged Tali's visor, "I care very much for Shepard's well-being. Martyrs can be helpful, but living heroes make for better tales. And it might not matter so much if I care or not, but I ask you now nonetheless: why is it more important that _you_ are the one to 'rescue' him, _Miss Zorah_?"

Tali found that she could no longer control her impulses and shot her arms through the bars of the cell. Her hands grasped at Petrovsky's collar and she had one moment to look at his astonished face before she roughly yanked back and slammed his face upon the bars, slicing open his forehead. The human squawked in pain, his own arms pinned between his chest and the grated door, as blood began to trickle down his face.

The guard at the end of the hall, alerted to the commotion, began to head over but Garrus threw out a hand and halted him with just a look. "We've got this covered," he warned. "Just give us another minute."

Meanwhile, Petrovsky was still trying to make sense of the situation. "W-What did I say?" he moaned through shut eyes and clenched teeth, his bruised head throbbing. "What is the m-meaning of this?"

Tali leaned forward so that her helmet was almost touching the metal surface, able to spot the imperfections from the flakes of paint crumbling off the bars. "I…_hate_…that…name," she slowly spat out. "_Zorah_. Ever since _John_ died, people have been taking me for granted every single day. They just have not been able to comprehend the bond that we grew between us, how it culminated into something new, something different and natural. But yet, people still are oblivious and have _never_ acknowledged my suffering! I've _never_ been offered sympathies by anyone, not once did someone other than my closest friends offer me words of comfort, because they had some damned notion in their minds that what John and I had was nothing more than a _friendship_!"

"Say…_what?_" Petrovsky grunted as he desperately tried to understand while his face was still being pressed against his cell. "What do you mean you hate your name? It…what is wrong with it? Tali…_Zorah?_"

"_Wrong!_" Tali yelled as she slammed Petrovsky's head for emphasis. "Wrong, wrong, _wrong!_" Each word another slam. "That is _not_ my name! I was going to tell people later once I had found John, to rub it in their faces to make them understand exactly why I've been in complete agony for the past year! I want to see the look of shock upon them when they finally have no choice but to accept that John could find it in himself to love me, a quarian! Would people continue to treat me like an outcast then, or would they feel compelled to accept me, to treat me as an equal like I have always wanted? Would they understand my pain then?!"

"I…I…" the man stammered.

"Or maybe," Tali still seethed into Petrovsky's now half-bloodied face, "I could suffice for just the memory of your face from the knowledge that everyone should have been aware of from the very start! They should have known that from the moment we met, John loved _me_ and no one else. Through our time together, he found in me as I did in him, a friend, a lover, and when he finally asked me to _marry_ him before the end of the war..."

Petrovsky's battered face looked terrified and Tali's glowing eyes oozed pure hatred through her purple visor as she took a deep breath.

"...I…said..._yes!_"

With a final, pained yell, Tali shoved her hands out and Petrovsky was sent sprawling on the floor. Clutching his ankle and simultaneously putting pressure on his facial wound, the bearded human looked at up his tormentor with the first expression of true fear that he had shown this entire time they had spent face-to-face.

"Clan Zorah is no more," Tali said definitively as she drank in the man's horror, finally standing tall above him as he continued to bleed. "I am Tali'_Shepard_, wife of John, and I will not elaborate any further on why he needs _me_ most of all. Open your mouth again and I'll come back to kill you with my bare hands when you're released from jail." She stepped away from the cell and regarded the crumpled man like a felled insect. "We're done here, unless I find out that you've been lying. If that's the case then I will return and make you realize just how little I consider your existence to be."

Fuming, Tali wheeled on her foot and left Petrovsky to nurse his injuries. She hardly heard Garrus' protests for her to wait up as she stormed through the complex. She roughly shouldered aside Banes as he moved over to check on the status of his prisoner and ignored his annoyed glare.

_Now they will all begin to understand how I feel. Who I really am._

Tali was concentrating so hard on her fury through her loss of control, and the rush of satisfaction she had felt when she had slammed Petrovsky's head repeatedly into the bars of his cell. She replayed the moment when she had cut his forehead wide open, savoring the rush of blood from someone ill-accustomed to violence in general. She was so deep in her thoughts that she did not notice the ring of prison guards begin to surround her and Garrus until two individuals manning a checkpoint stepped in front of her, preventing her from leaving.

"Get out of my way," she snarled at the helmeted men, but they did not budge. If only she had her pistol on her then they would be-

"I'm afraid that's not going to be possible, Admiral…or should I say _ex_-Admiral?" a voice drawled from behind them. Tali blew air out of her mouth as she appraised Warden Robinson shouldering himself through the guards, whose own weapons were pointed right at her and Garrus' chests right now.

"What is the meaning of this, Robinson?" Garrus asked as his hands slowly began to rise.

"I could ask you the same thing," Robinson smirked, his bald head shining from the halogen lighting. "When the both of you were admitted onto this ship, I took it on faith that you were honorable people and it was only through your dedicated service to the galaxy did I allow you to proceed here at all. Clearly, I was mistaken."

"What are you talking about?!" Tali cried as she was quickly and expertly cuffed. Garrus was subdued just as fast and was led away, him struggling all the while. A few curses made it out of his mouth and two more guards had to rush over to properly strong arm the turian away.

"Where are you taking him?!" Tali yelled in shock as she watched her friend get pushed into an adjacent hallway.

"To a temporary holding cell," Robinson answered smugly. "Clearly you two have been busy because, in the past hour, I've received not one but _two_ warrants of arrest issued by separate ruling galactic bodies. You failed to indicate that the two of you were being pursued by two separate individuals for on entirely legal purposes. They said that you were both violent people, no less. The fact that you deliberately boarded a prison ship for whatever reason meant that either you were incredibly arrogant or just stupid. Either way, I have the right to place you both under arrest until the parties of interest can come and retrieve you."

"Those warrants were issued in error! We're not criminals, please let us go!"

"That is not my place to decide," Robinson said, his face impassive. "That is up to the judicial body that issued the orders in the first place. You'll have to take it up with them."

"Like hell I will!" Tali screamed. "I'll _die_ before I let them take me!"

"That would be most unfortunate, seeing as a representative is here right now to take you back."

With a flourish, Robinson stepped aside to allow the man behind him to be brought into focus. Unlike the human, this man's armor completely covered his entire body; a suit with shades of black and gray. The visor adorning his face looked like new, a replacement for one that had cracked, the gold tint shimmering brightly.

"Keelah…" Tali gasped as a guard began to push her forward towards the man. "No…please…"

"Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Rannoch," Paav'Inera announced as he grabbed at the cuffs binding Tali's hands together, "in the name of the Admiralty Board of Rannoch, I hereby place you under arrest."

"Paav…don't-"

But the male quarian did not pay her any heed. "No amount of begging will save you from your judgment," Paav said with a trace of bitterness in his voice, reminded of recent events that had turned violent without warning. "You are coming with me _now_."

With a tug, Tali was unceremoniously dragged forward and paraded through the checkpoint tunnel back to out-processing, towards the end of freedom. Unable to contain a frightened whimper, Tali felt powerless as her next few moments transpired against her will.

She felt a chill inside her suit.

* * *

**A/N: Apologies to those who were expecting the classic trope of the protagonist getting married in the end, because Tali's already been hitched!**

**Guess I'll have to tweak the summary slightly, as Tali had taken out the 'Zorah' in her name since the beginning of the story. That way I'm not being disingenuous.**

**Read and review, for there are more twists and turns to come.**


	12. Chapter 11: Can't Keep 'Em Down

_Normandy, _2186

_Tali planted her feet firmly on the metal floor as warm fluid ran between her toes. The nondescript shower head above her blasted a steady stream of piping hot water that splashed against her bare body. She stood still for a few minutes, her eyes closed in bliss, as her skin seemed to absorb the soft impacts the liquid was making upon her, her skin prickling as the slightest brush of outside air wafted onto her body._

_She raised her hands up towards the shower and squinted as she watched the clear liquid run off her arms. She opened her mouth and gargled the onrushing water before she spat it out onto the floor, finding delight in the freedom of being able to interact with the outside world directly. Such experiences outside her suit were meant for experimenting, and the times she spent in the shower were few and far between anyway. Before she had tried the shower out to begin with in the past, she was convinced that she would never get to expose herself to such a state of matter in this way. Apparently she kept underestimating Shepard's knack for introducing her to things beyond her wildest imaginations._

_A year ago, Tali would have exhibited concern at the prospect of undressing herself in Shepard's own bathroom, let alone his room, due to the inherent dangers in exposing her weak immune system to foreign contaminants. However, with Shepard's help, removing her suit – to kiss, make love, or both - would later give her the confidence to try out more things and forgo any consequences from her mind. She had already graduated from basic experiences such as eating solid food, cuddling, and sex, which inevitably eased her state of mind onto trying other things without her protective covering, the shower being one of them._

_Clinically speaking, the bathroom was a safe place for her to expose herself compared to the bedroom. The bulk of the germs present were residual from Shepard, to which her immune system had adapted to by now from their shared nights together. The bathrooms on the Normandy also underwent more severe sterilization cycles, and the water used in showers was boiled all the time to prevent stagnation and the breeding of diseases. For Tali, the shower here was as safe as could be – no risk of an allergic reaction._

_Tali loved the sensation of water on her body. The warmth of the liquid as it ran across her skin, cleansed her pores, and trailed down her legs gave her the impression of being submerged – being purified – that she imagined that the water would magically rid her of her imperfections. There was also the erotic feeling of being naked in the shower, a pastime that Tali had yet to take for granted (she was extremely jealous that humans had experienced such a sensation for all of their lives). The billowing steam that clung to the skin that was not currently being soaked left a smooth film upon her, beading her with little droplets of humidity._

_Sticking her head back into the spray, Tali gasped from the scalding heat as she shook her head, her long black hair clinging to her scalp, and backed up a few steps. She did not get very far and her back soon collided with a firm object, but yielding and warm, and a pair of equally damp arms soon wrapped themselves around her with a deep chuckle from their owner and began to massage her soft stomach, tickling her and creating butterflies in her belly._

_Smiling, Tali slowly turned around and gently threw her arms around Shepard's neck, who was equally unclothed, having let her use the shower first before he decided to join her. The human's face was warm and inviting, and his arms began to rub Tali's bare back, soaking up the opportunity to feel her skin unobstructed by her enviro-suit. They both relished these moments as it was only here, in her nakedness, could she reveal the real her to Shepard, as she always wanted to be seen like this by him and not a faceless freak._

_Physically there were few differences between her and Shepard, the contrasting number of digits and the orientation of their lower legs being the most notable ones in terms of bone structure. Without her suit, she was a few inches shorter than Shepard and she had to rise up on her tiptoes in order to give him a proper kiss sometimes (a tic that Shepard admitted that he thought was cute). Her gray skin was a lighter shade than the bulkhead in the bathroom, another trait of her body that clashed with Shepard's pinkish tone. On her face, natural black lines rose from the ends of her eyebrows up to her scalp, and the same pattern was also repeated on her chest, a gentle trail formed through nature._

_Aside from that, the two never really saw themselves as different or incompatible in any way. The two species, human and quarian, both shared the same bipedal form as well as facial structures and they were the only intelligent species in the galaxy to have hair. Add to the fact that she saw Shepard as extremely handsome, regardless of his alienness, and he equally saw her as beautiful, the both of them had developed an intense physical attraction to the other, emboldened by how connected they were emotionally through a bond forged by their time spent together._

_Further proof of this was only strengthened when Shepard ducked his head as he took a step forward, causing both of them to stumble back into the running water of the shower while he planted his lips upon Tali's in a passionate kiss. Tali hummed softly as she sucked at Shepard's lower lip, already feeling lightheaded from the combination of his muscular body pressing against her and the water running down her back. She was completely surrounded by stimuli and was only going to lose control of her inhibitions more quickly if this continued._

_Fully knowing this fact, Tali tightened her embrace and opened her mouth wider so that her tongue could begin sparring with the human's. The hearty taste of Shepard and his decidedly foreign scent came to her and she moaned into his mouth. Shepard also hugged her firmly and kissed her deeper, pressing his toned chest against her small breasts and feeling them brush against his skin. He gave a grunt of desire which quickly turned into a gasp as Tali began to sensually rub her pelvis against his, turned on from both his presence and the shower. But with what amounted to a herculean effort, his lips broke free from Tali's with a loud smack, leaving both of them gasping for breath in the humid shower._

_Tali was still rubbing herself against him and he ended up breathing into her neck as he desperately tried not to take her right here and then in the shower. It gave Tali great joy to reduce the strong human who had thrown himself against insurmountable odds time and again to a shivering mass in her presence. She was the only one who could make him vulnerable and desperate, causing his blue eyes to hold only her image in those limpid pools._

_Yes, it was certainly a pleasure to make him squirm._

_Shepard was still gasping into the crook of her neck. "As happy…as I am...Tali…I don't think that…I have the time for this…right now."_

_She stopped her tormenting movements. "What's the matter, John?" Tali wiggled her eyebrows mischievously. "Not up for a little fun right now?"_

"_You know I hate to disappoint," Shepard said with a dry chuckle, "but I promised Hackett that I'd check in with him in a half hour in the comm room."_

"_Surely you didn't just come in here to take a shower?" Tali pouted. "We've still got a day and a half left until the fleets mobilize for the Cerberus base anyway. Hackett can wait."_

"_Sorry, Tali," Shepard gave a meek shrug. "But I really am just here for a shower this time."_

_Tali pulled her hips away as she made a mock sulking face, but neither of them ceased in their embrace of their upper bodies. The shower still rained on them, trickling down the paths of least resistance as they refused to move, letting the heat massage their skin._

_Shepard finally sidled to the left and grabbed at a bright red bottle and upended some of its contents onto his hand. He started to rub himself with the liquid soap, taking extra care to cleanse every orifice with Tali around. It was always important to maintain good hygiene standards while participating in intimate relations with a quarian._

"_Could you pass me the soap?" Tali indicated after the human had finished. Shepard obliged._

_Tali mimicked Shepard's movements with the cleansing products. Her enviro-suit took care of basic hygiene when she wore it as it had onboard processes dedicated to scouring away dead skin and providing disinfectants when applicable, rendering such goods redundant for her. Using items like soap and shampoo were uncommon for quarians as they had little need for them, but Tali enjoyed how the soap, in combination with the water, covered her skin with bubbly froth and made her body more slippery. Plus, while outside her suit, Tali wanted to try new things that were normally unavailable to her, soaps being one such experience. _

_While she continue to apply the sweet-smelling substance upon herself, Tali noted that she was still aroused from trying to make Shepard shirk his duties with sex and the act of using her hands to rub the soap all over her body was not making that feeling go away. Covered in the slippery and foamy film, the scent of Shepard poured into her nostrils – a clean and pleasant smell – which brought back a slew of memories from the first time she had taken in the human's unique smell. If she wasn't already in a steamy environment, she would be panting with desire at this point._

_The two of them continued to clean themselves in silence. Once the last of the soap had passed into the drain beneath their feet, Shepard looked like he was about to flee the scene before Tali placed a hand on his shoulder._

"_Stay with me, please?" she asked, hoping her glowing eyes could help entice him. "Just for a few more minutes?"_

_Shepard battled with indecision for all of two seconds. With Tali unclothed and exposed like this, his normal amount of willpower had been reduced to practically nothing. "All right," he allowed with a grin aimed at his own weakness for the woman across from him._

_A few minutes turned into ten which turned into twenty as Tali and Shepard did nothing but hug, caress, and softly kiss the other within the shower. Things never escalated further than that, but Tali was happy nonetheless. She was simply feeling too good to be in any way disappointed._

_After Tali had spent some time kissing Shepard's chest while one of his hands ran through her damp black hair, she looked up in the hopes of making out just a little bit more before he had to leave. Instead, Shepard had a far-away look in his eyes as he stared out into space, his hands never ceasing their tender caressing, but his brain was clearly deep in thought._

"_John?" Tali asked, which managed to return him back to the real world. "You okay?"_

_Shepard sighed as he realized he was caught daydreaming. "You know, I did actually have another reason for coming here. I've actually been trying to figure out how to just say it, though."_

_He trailed off, leaving his intentions going unvoiced to Tali's exasperation but she did not press him for them. Shepard was getting that distant look again but he quickly smiled at her to assuage her of his state of mind._

"_When the war ends, Tali, what is it that you want to do?"_

_Tali was struck by the abrupt question. "What?"_

"_I mean, what is it that you are going to do once the war is all over? Is there anything that sticks out in your mind that you would want to accomplish?"_

_She blinked, caught off guard. She had never really given her future much thought apart from one specific aspect._

"_Well," she considered, "I guess the one thing that comes to mind right now is…is building my house on Rannoch. I guess…I feel that I deserve at least that much for going through all of this for it. Other than that, I can't think of anything else."_

"_My offer of assistance in the construction still stands, you know."_

"_I'm going to need some help anyway," Tali smiled. "I don't know the first thing about basic architecture or construction."_

"_Neither do I," Shepard laughed. "I guess we can both learn together."_

_He ducked down for another kiss and Tali happily obliged. Midway through their colliding of lips, Tali had a thought, a hint of where this conversation was naturally going to go._

"_So…" she began, "what about you, John? Is there anything that you really wanted after all this is finally finished?"_

_That far-away look was back. Shepard instinctively held Tali to his chest as his mouth pressed in a fine line. Tali, her ear on Shepard's chest, swore that the human's heart was beating a little heavier than normal under the circumstances. But what did that mean, exactly? Nerves concerning the upcoming mission? Doubtful, Shepard rarely broke a sweat during combat. So if it was not about the prospect of a firefight, then what could cause Shepard to become so withdrawn and agitated?_

_Fortunately, Shepard did not keep her waiting for long as he gave a shrug, albeit he took a very long time to complete the act. "You know, I don't really have much of an idea. I mean, I'm not terribly concerned about money and I have an apartment that's been paid off completely, so I'd guess that I'm all set for the rest of my life. But actually, there are a few shows on the extranet that I would like to binge with my newfound free time. I've been behind on catching up with my entertainment."_

"_Mind if I join you for some of those shows?"_

"_Anytime, if you like comedy," Shepard smiled briefly before transitioning into a frown. "But that's the problem."_

"_What problem?" Tali asked with an arch of her eyebrow. "I don't understand."_

_Shepard waved an arm. "The problem is that I have to _wait_ to get those things, to get a life beyond the military and war. Wait to spend money, wait to live in my apartment and get a decent night's rest like everyone else. All my life I've had to wait for the things I've wanted the most. Hell, I had to wait two and a half years before I could have _you_, Tali."_

"_It didn't help the fact that you spent those two years _dead_," Tali said, deadpan. "And what do you mean, '_you_ could have me?' As far as I'm concerned, I got to have you."_

"_Point taken," Shepard chuckled as he conceded. "But what I'm trying to say is that I can wait for some things, but there are other items that I want to address now, before it's too late."_

"_John, where are you going with this?"_

_Shepard firmly placed his hands on Tali's shoulders, momentarily ignoring her question. "How long have we been together, Tali?"_

"_A year and a half," she replied dutifully._

"_Right. And have you felt any differently about me in that time span?"_

"_Never," Tali said confidently as she placed a hand over Shepard's heart. "I've loved you the entire time and have never been let down."_

"_As have I," Shepard smiled before he bit his lip in a rare display of shyness. "Tali, I…I don't know if this is a bit sudden for you, but I've thought about it for weeks on end now…"_

"_Thought about what? John?"_

"_I-I mean…Tali, I've been agonizing over this, imagining your reaction, but I don't know if…" Shepard took a deep breath. "Look, I love you, Tali. I'm never going to stop loving you, and I don't see us ever growing apart in the future. I want to be with you as long as I can, and I need something – somebody – to coax me away from this life so that I can find some semblance of normality within me."_

"_John…just-" Tali shook her head. Usually she was the one who would get all tongue-tied, not the other way around. Her confusion was approaching absolute bewilderment levels and she had interrupted him at this point just to get the human's mind back on track. "…Just tell me what you want to say."_

"_O-Okay…" the human gulped. _

_It was clear that Shepard had indeed been perplexed by the combination of words that he was about to utter, but Tali would forever imprint this moment in her memory when Shepard spoke next._

"_How do you feel about marriage, Tali?"_

_The quarian was so shocked that she instinctively took a step backward directly into the shower stream. Her eyes immediately stung but she could not tell if it was from the water or tears running viciously down her face. Her hair became plastered to her head again, and the assault of liquid upon her hindered her ability to properly see Shepard standing just a mere foot away from her._

_The human was stumbling over his own words at this point as he mistook Tali's reaction for an outright denial. "I…I would be a good husband to you, Tali," he mumbled pitifully. "I could…I could always be there for you and we could have a life together. Just you and me." He took a deep breath in the middle of several shallow ones. "I want to marry you, Tali. I've thought it all out so that we could…could wed in a few days' time. We would never have to…to be apart again and I thought that you would be happy with this-"_

_Tali practically ran out of the spray and launched herself at Shepard, whose eyes widened as the nude quarian wrapped him in a bear hug and furiously kissed him on the spot. Their skulls seemed to mash against each other as they pressed their lips together, the quarian now being free enough to allow her tears to rush down her face in a torrent. Shepard closed his own eyes gratefully and melted into Tali's hug, picking her up and sweeping her off her feet._

_With a muffled whimper, Tali ended the kiss. "Yes," she breathed, tears and all._

"_Y-Yes?" Shepard said, dumbfounded._

"_Yes," Tali repeated as the biggest smile Shepard had ever seen on the quarian slowly spread across her face. "Yes, John. Yes. I want to marry you too, you bosh'tet! Keelah, I love you, John! I love you!"_

_Shepard clapped a hand over his mouth at the same time he gave a sob. "Ah, shit," he muttered quietly, unused to showing such a display of emotion. "Sorry, Tali. It's just…oh my god, I love you so much. Thank you."_

_Tali had no more words to give but instead pried Shepard's hand away so that the two tear-streaked lovers could reunite in another one of the countless kisses given that night. They then happily cried into the other's shoulder, grateful that from the knowledge that their souls had found their mates from across the galaxy. Their hearts thudded against one another and they clutched their naked bodies together, becoming one within the water-saturated room._

_Abruptly, a shrill noise began to ring from the cabin beyond; an alarm. Shepard turned to face the door, his previously glad expression hardening in disappointment._

"_Damn, Hackett's calling. I guess I have to, whoa-!"_

_Tali had grabbed onto Shepard's arm, her hair wild, her face a frenzy of all sorts of wonderful emotions. "You get back here this instant," she panted, her pent-up desire finally released from the floodgates. She gave a mighty pull and Shepard stumbled back into the shower with a squawk._

_As much as the human's duty was imposed in his mind, from the moment his new fiancée grabbed him and reeled him in for a kiss, he suddenly found himself unable to voice a protest. He made a mental note to formulate some sort of apology to Hackett as it was now obvious that he was in no way going to make the call any time soon._

_The bathroom door muffled the intense moans and gasps that the noise of the shower could not drown out. Minutes later, a desirous scream of bliss finally sounded to give way to the gentle pattering of water on the ground._

_Peace had befallen the upper deck._

* * *

Present Day

"…And furthermore…are you even listening to me, Tali'Zorah?"

Yet another case of a mistaken identity jolted Tali from her reverie rather painfully. Her hands naturally tried to rise to stretch out her joints but her progress was halted as her wrists were barely allowed room to separate from the omni-cuffs placed over them.

Seated in the chair behind the cockpit, Tali growled as Paav turned around to glare at her disapprovingly. Behind him, the familiar warped reality of FTL travel zoomed by the craft in billions of blue streaks all convalescing into a smooth canvas. Hunched over with her hands bound, Tali was still able to see outside of herself and realize that she really did look the part of a convict in the hold, what with her threatening posture and tone. Was that who she was now to Paav? A criminal? Was this the path that her life was going to end up at all along?

Led back to her people in chains. There was nary a fate worse for her short of exile. Or death, but that was practically a given.

Although, the atmosphere might have been noticeably less tense if Paav had not tried to condescend her immediately after they left the _Gehenna_. The damned man's droning voice as he bemoaned her supposedly "harsh" actions had caused her to lapse back into the past, initially brought on from her ravings toward Petrovsky in an attempt to frighten him. The memory of Shepard proposing to her in the shower was certainly a much better image for her to lose herself in rather than become subjugated toward Paav and his disapproving tone.

To add insult to injury, once she had been properly secured on board his ship, Paav had fumbled around in her sleeve for a moment, which initially caused her to think in a panic that Paav was deliberately exposing her to the air as some sort of petty revenge, but that thought quickly passed when the man had withdrawn his hand, a tiny device pinched between his thumb and forefinger. The little nub was instantly recognizable to Tali: a portable mini-tracker. The notion that she had been carrying around a device that let everyone know where she was and where she had been was frankly embarrassing to Tali. She had made all of this effort to be discreet since the Citadel and yet there had been people who knew her exact location at every turn.

She would have launched into a tirade directed at herself, but there was company present to witness such a vulgar display. Maybe she could include her captor as a direction for which to aim the myriad insults shuttling around her brain, though.

Paav was still waiting for an answer but Tali simply chose to arc an eyebrow and nastily smirk at him, thankfully hidden behind her visor. "I'm sorry," Tali said with an exaggerated aloofness that immediately infuriated Paav. "What did you say? I wasn't paying any attention."

Paav's fists curled into balls as it looked like the man was fighting with the decision to punch the wall of the shuttle in rage. Tali felt a swell of pride as she realized she still held the power to make Paav's life very difficult, even with her in his custody. It was not like he was able to gag her, considering the circumstances with their enviro-suits, which would have been a reasonable solution in hindsight, but Tali was not going to put that idea in his head anytime soon.

Tali cocked her head in amusement. "You replaced your visor," she noted out loud, spotting that the dark covering over Paav's face did not have any cracks upon it from where she had laid into him days ago.

"That's right," Paav rapped on the side of his helmet with his knuckles. "Your little stunt back on the Citadel put me in serious danger to an infection, you know. It was only fortunate that nothing was breached and that I happened to have a spare covering with me."

"It was an unfortunate situation to begin with," Tali shrugged, "I honestly didn't want to hurt you, Paav. You just gave me no choice that I had to do anything to get away."

"And yet we find ourselves here anyway," Paav grimaced. "All you've done is just make things more difficult, Tali. This could have been resolved quietly, but your consistent reckless behavior has turned this entire situation into a sideshow. All you're doing is just getting people hurt for your own blind ambitions!"

"Do not lecture me about this!" Tali yelled. "You have _never_ understood what I've been doing and whom I've been doing it for!"

Paav waved his hands frantically. "I've actively _tried_ to understand, Tali! Believe me, I've tried. But I've eventually come to the conclusion that I just don't _care_ anymore and your problems will be placed onto someone else soon enough. Once we get back to Rannoch, you'll be out of my hands for good and we will never have to run into the other ever again."

_Rannoch_, Tali thought sourly. She never imagined that there would be a time when she would actively _dread_ going back to her homeworld. Once it had been in her dreams for her whole life and now it was a bleak wasteland where judgment was waiting for her, a fate that would leave her all alone and Shepard would still be missing in this abyss of a galaxy.

"They're going to exile me, aren't they?" Tali mumbled morosely.

Paav grunted as he spun around in his chair to set himself firmly in place at the helm. "You assaulted two of your own people for reasons that you can't even put into appropriate words, Tali. The Admiralty Board is most certainly going to exile you, and then you'll be free to do whatever you want with your life as long as Rannoch and no other quarians of the homeworld are involved."

"Then why bother with this? Why not just let me go?"

"Because," Paav sighed, "we have to make an example of you. If we allowed any one of our people to leave the homeworld or the fleet after committing a crime and go on their way without the threat of punishment behind them, then our society risks degradation into lawlessness. Since you were an admiral, you should know this most of all. Besides, the people need to see that even members of the highest echelon cannot get away with their crimes. Indirectly exiling someone like you is damage control at its absolute worst, but a trial can mitigate such disgruntlement. This way, we can maintain order from your mistakes."

_Punishment. Exile. What's the difference?_

Tali had nothing else to say to Paav and thankfully he seemed to have given up with his agenda of trying to make her feel guilty. Nothing he could say would work anyway and he resigned himself to simply pilot the ship, preparing to drop back into c-space in order to enter the relay system.

It would be a few hours until that could happen and if Paav were to pay close attention in that time span, he would be able to spot Tali fiddling with a slight program on her omni-tool, working a small bit of software onto the cuffs that bound her with the intent of cracking through firewall after firewall with surgical precision.

She couldn't go to Rannoch just yet, Tali silently declared as she kept her wrists hidden beneath the table next to her. There was still business she had to attend to elsewhere.

* * *

APV _Gehenna_

For all the time Garrus had worked as a detective in C-Sec, he had visited several of the holding areas on the Citadel so many times that it had come to the point that he was desensitized from looking at prisons. They were nice, clean, and quiet for the most part. A relative hotel compared to the _Gehenna_, a place Garrus never thought _he_ would be interred, let alone placed in any prison at all.

They were certainly big on efficiency here. After he had been strong-armed over to processing once he had been separated from Tali, the guards swiftly disrobed and decontaminated him (during which he used the time to level some choice words concerning his captors' mothers at the ones showering him down), he had been given a sickly orange uniform to put on and then he was pushed into a blank cell and had the bars closed on him.

One of the guards had grunted that a member of the Hierarchy was due to pick him up later in the day and that he was being confined in this manner purely to stick to the prison's protocol. Garrus snorted back in annoyance, but the humans who had thrown him in here disregarded him as carelessly as a piece of litter.

After he had taken stock of his surroundings and current possessions – a cot, sink, toilet, and singular shelf – Garrus sat down to contemplate his future. His armor had been taken by the guards when they had forced him to wear this stupid outfit back in the decontamination room, presumably to join his and Tali's weapons already collected in the lobby.

Tali. He wondered if she was all right. The last he saw of her was a male quarian dragging her to the exit by force. He probably was the same quarian who had tried to take her by surprise on the Citadel. Apparently he had no need to collect Garrus for whatever bounty had been offered and the guard had mentioned that a representative from the Hierarchy was on his way to "collect" him in lieu of being carted out of this place immediately.

That representative could only be Nitherius, Garrus mused. That cybernetic-armed bastard had been tracking him and Tali this whole time and was probably the one who had alerted the crew of the _Gehenna_ in the first place, probably from an all-points-bulletin. However it had been accomplished, Nitherius would be here soon and Garrus knew that if he had any chance of reuniting with Tali, he had to leave this place before Nitherius got his hands on him.

_And how exactly can I do that? Technically I broke out of Purgatory, but that was with Shepard's help. We also had guns and I can't really fight my way out of here with nothing but bedsheets and a toilet paper roll._

Garrus sat miserably in the same position for the next few hours, his arms crossed over his chest. He fumed about being put in such a ridiculous position and envisioned Nitherius' smug look when he would arrive at the entrance of his cell to lead him out in the same fashion that Tali had been before him. That was going to be embarrassing when it would happen.

A rattling sound from the hall caused him to turn his head to the side. A few seconds later, an aluminum cart pushed by a timid looking human inmate passed in front of his cell, a guard dutifully following him a few paces behind. "Lunch time," the man mumbled in a bored voice as he placed a light metal tray atop the slot in the bars for him.

Garrus wanted nothing more than to push the tray out and watch its contents splatter the floor just to spite the staff, but his stomach was currently voting against such rebellious ideas and won the vote for possession of the food. He carefully lifted the tray towards him as the inmate resumed his route through the cells and appraised the selection presented.

He was quite surprised at what he received, actually. He was initially pleased to find out that all of his food was of dextro chirality which meant that he could consume it without getting sick, as humans were levo chirality based due to their differing amino acids. Garrus counted himself fortunate that the _Gehenna_ was appropriately stocked to take in differing walks of life. Apparently that was a benefit of being a government-sponsored facility instead of private – more exposure to liability suits.

The other surprising thing was the diversity of food presented on his tray. Turian prisons just doled out a synthetic paste that was akin to a cold porridge, containing all of the necessary vitamins and minerals for the bare minimum of a healthy diet. Here, Garrus received a small serving of meat, some vegetables, a tiny cup of salad, a portion of what appeared to be a starchy mush, a slice of bread, a cup of water, and a little serving of a creamy dessert that Garrus liked. It actually looked rather appetizing, which would satiate his growling stomach as well as provide him the energy necessary for the long day ahead.

The portions of food were small enough that he had polished the contents of the tray off in less than ten minutes. It was surprisingly more flavorful than Garrus expected, and as he knocked the last of his water back, he noted that he felt reasonably well-fed and comfortable. At least he was being treated relatively well in this place, all things considered.

Garrus barely had time to put his tray down when a shadow fell over him from the outside. He looked up to see four unfamiliar humans grin nastily at him from behind the bars. A turian guard in full armor crept around them to the switch on the far end, his body language tense.

"Cameras aren't watching now," the guard said to the group of men. "You've got five minutes to do what you're going to do."

"We'll be done in two," a thin human laughed while the cell bars slid open from the guard's command.

Garrus stood up in preparation, still holding his food tray at his side. He backed up to the far wall as the four inmates, their uniforms on up to their waists – revealing stained white tank-tops – bunched into the cramped interior. The humans began to crack their knuckles and flex their arms in such a manner that Garrus knew what was coming, even if he didn't know why.

"Fellas," he began cautiously. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Shut your face, turian," a heavyset man said as he pulled a shiv from a hidden pocket in his waistband. "This ain't personal, but we've got to do it anyway."

As the man spoke, one of his companions removed a metal bar from his back and smacked it into his palm repeatedly in a threatening manner. The other two were unarmed, apparently comfortable with letting their fists do the talking.

"I see," Garrus said mildly, getting a tad more concerned. "I hope you excuse me if I take this personally. Is this some sort of initiation for the new guy? I don't think hazing me is going to do a whole lot of good, seeing as I'm scheduled to leave here at any moment."

"No initiation for you," the thinnest man of the group laughed, his face rather rodent-like in appearance. "And you won't be leaving here anytime soon. Or ever, in fact."

"But why go to all this trouble in the first place? There must be scrawnier pickings to torment on this damn ship."

"Yes, but _you're_ valuable meat," the thin human said as he scratched at his pathetic stubble. "Argeir showed us a picture. Put a bounty on your head. We kill you, we get the reward when our sentences are up. Argeir will celebrate us when you are dead!"

_Just how many goons does this one guy have?_ Garrus thought miserably. _Does he have so many of his men locked away that he has an entire net to work with at a moment's notice?_

"And this reward," Garrus crossed his arms, trying to appear unconvinced, "is it big enough to be split four ways? Would you be willing to bargain for a higher reward for you not to shank me in this place?"

The thin man's face turned purple as he tried to comprehend the details. His companions also looked confused as well. The prospect of another source of lucrative income probably never crossed their heads to begin with.

"If you know who I am," Garrus continued, trying to conceal a smirk, "then you know that I've got money. Lots of it. I can pay you whatever price you want if you'll just leave me alone today."

Truthfully, Garrus had no intention of paying anyone. Once he was out of here, he was content to forget all about the _Gehenna_ for the rest of his life. He was only hoping that the four individuals across from him would not see through his fib. And even if he were to pay, such a deposit would be a drop in the bucket in comparison to the insane amounts of cash raked in from his involvement in the Reaper War. Bless those royalty checks.

After a brief huddle, the thin man jabbed his shiv in Garrus' direction. "You can provide the amount of credits to cover your bounty?"

"Yes, I can," Garrus nodded. _Certainly, I can._

"Good. Then we will take them now."

Garrus blinked and tilted his head. "Come again?"

"The credits. Give them to us right now and we won't kill you. We'll give Argeir news to the contrary and you never show your face near him again."

Bursting out in a laugh of disbelief, Garrus doubled over. "You can't be _serious_, right? The guards took all my possessions when they first put me in this place to begin with. No one here has a credit chit on them _capable_ of transferring such large amounts of money. If bullying me into paying is the way you're going to go about this, then you're not going to see a single credit from my end, whichever way you cut it."

"Fuck this," a large, bearded inmate scowled as he plucked the shiv from his thinner friend's hand. "If he can't pay now, he won't pay at all. You're _dead_, you little bitch. I'm gonna-"

The fat man lunged with the shiv, aimed directly at Garrus' gut. Garrus figured that was the place that the man was going to stab first, knowing that the stomach was a soft place for a sharp and crude piece of metal to do some serious damage, so he had his strategy all figured out before the first inevitable punch would ever be thrown.

Garrus quickly held the empty food tray up to cover his stomach, holding it out a foot away from his body. The shiv hit the aluminum covering and harmlessly bounced off, but the fist carrying it still smashed into the surface, denting it, but also breaking a few bones in the hand at the same time.

The large inmate cried out in pain and dropped the shiv at Garrus' feet. Seizing his chance, Garrus swung the dented tray directly into the man's temple, causing him to fall down to the ground. As he fell, the man's head caught the edge of the toilet seat, and because his head was softer than the metal used to create the polished appliance, his neck was pushed at an odd angle while the rest of his body thumped to the floor, breaking several vertebrae with a loud series of snaps.

With a thud, the big man lay still, to the horror of his comrades.

"Right," Garrus grimaced as he bent over to pick up the shiv while he still held the tray, his adrenaline beginning to pump. "One down. Who's next?"

Two of his attackers stalled, caught by indecision. The third didn't. The next inmate, the one with the metal bar, took his turn in rushing the turian on the other side of the cell. Garrus, to his credit, did not flinch, but instead stepped to the side and evaded a hefty blow that shattered the lone shelf attached to the wall. Dazed and still reeling from the uncomfortable vibration running up his arm from the impact on the solid surface, the man took too long in turning around which gave Garrus plenty of time to whirl around and stick him in the back with his appropriated shiv.

The man went down with a wheeze as Garrus withdrew his weapon from the inmate's body. From the way the human was rasping, it sounded to Garrus like he was able to puncture a lung through the opening of the ribs when he had stabbed the man. Blood would be pouring into his respiratory system, given the human's poor orientation on the ground, meaning that he would drown in a manner of minutes if he was not given immediate medical attention, to which Garrus thought would be a little late in acting fast enough to save this person.

Garrus finally dropped his food tray in exchange for the metal bar, but by then the last two attackers had made up their minds and finally decided to act as a unit, albeit two deaths too late. They came at him from the front, intent on pummeling the turian with their fists, and they got up close for a few seconds for Garrus to properly react. He yelled in pain as the humans managed to connect their fists with his body, and he shielded himself with his arms so that he could duck away and get his act together.

Breaking free of the bind, Garrus stumbled backwards, but the thin human, the one with the scraggly beard, ran up to meet him. Almost casually, Garrus batted his arm forward, the one holding the metal bar, and blood exploded from the man's mouth as the bar bashed against his jaw. The human squealed and backed off, blood spurting from his clenched fingers.

The other inmate, the one not currently incapacitated, jumped in to try and grasp Garrus' neck, but the turian gave a quick slash with his shiv and the human's hands darted to his throat with a wet gurgle, his neck completely sliced open. Blood sluiced down the human's front, staining his white tank top red and his eyes rolled upward very quickly as the blood pressure in his brain dropped drastically. The man's life continued to gush through the ragged cut, the wet muscle exposed and glistening, and he would eventually pass out atop his two friends who had fallen before him, lost to a relatively quick death.

Garrus recoiled from the sight, disgusted at the act of slicing the human's throat, but he shouted in pain as the thin man, his teeth and chin stained from the blood that had dribbled out his mouth, had recovered from Garrus' blow and hooked an arm around his neck. The human then began to pummel the small of Garrus' back, knocking the wind out of him.

The human, however, had performed the hold poorly and Garrus was able to slip out of it easily. The turian turned around and instinctively forced the shiv in his hand upward and felt it impact with a wet _thunk_ before he even knew what he did.

The homemade blade had entered the human's head through the soft bottom of his jaw and up into his mouth, completely piercing it. His tongue had been sliced completely open and began to pool blood from the huge opening. The shiv had been jammed so far upward that it had also knocked the human's front upper teeth out, creating a macabre sight that was nauseating for Garrus to look at, even after the man had collapsed to the ground from shock, the weapon still embedded in its place.

The entire ordeal took less than twenty seconds to accomplish and Garrus staggered from the four bodies lying all around him on the floor of his cell. He dropped the metal bar with a clang and rubbed at his head, feeling abruptly dizzy.

There was a clomping noise behind him, followed by a sizzle and a smell of ozone. Garrus saw that the turian guard in the hallway had finally decided to take action once it was apparent that the four humans were not getting up any time soon. The guard held a shock stick where tiny blips of blue electricity zapped out from the end, intent on zapping Garrus' lights out in order to take control of the situation.

"All right, you," the guard growled as he approached with the shock stick. "Say goodnight!"

The guard swung the stun weapon but Garrus moved into the turian's stance and grabbed at the man's wrist. He twisted his grip and the guard's arm shattered painfully. Garrus could tell because he felt the bones of the arm shift before the man could even begin to react from the injury.

Snarling, Garrus ripped the shock stick from the guard's useless hand and shoved the sparking end of it into the soft area underneath the helmet. The guard began to twitch from the fifty thousand volts shooting through his body, his muscles automatically contracting as his nerves fired helplessly. He made a pathetic moan of peril before his knees finally gave out and he collapsed hard to the ground, unconscious.

"Goodnight," Garrus breathed, an acrid smell now burning his nose.

Silence finally befell the room and Garrus gasped out loud, tugging at his collar. To his great fortune, he saw that since the guard had come into his room with the intent to knock him out, the cell door had yet to be closed, leaving him free to leave.

But that still presented a new issue, but it was quickly resolved with a bit of quick thinking. Garrus knew that he couldn't just walk off the ship to escape…or could he? After all, there was an unconscious guard at his feet, wearing armor his relative size and build. With a bit of finagling, he might be able to work something out.

* * *

There was a slight tapping noise at his window and Sellers, the guard on duty at the desk, looked up from his console in annoyance. A turian, draped completely in his armor, stood impassively at the counter, apparently wanting a word.

"Yes, trooper?" Sellers asked. "What is it that I can do for you?"

"Warden sent me over here to clean out the shuttle that the quarian and turian recently arrived here in," the trooper said, his voice scratchy though his helmet. "I was told that you had received some of their possessions beforehand and I would like to take them off your hands so that everything can be grouped together."

Sellers shrugged and he bent down to procure a box at his feet that contained the weapons and armor initially collected from Garrus and Tali. "I'm going to need to see the release form before I can hand over custody of this property to you," he said as he hefted the crate up onto his desk. "Otherwise, I'm afraid that I can't give you anything at the moment."

"Are you kidding me?" the trooper groaned with an exaggerated motion of his hands. "The warden didn't give me anything like that when he told me to come down here and do this job for him! I sure as hell don't have a form on me!"

Sellers bit his lip. "Well, it really isn't protocol to release confiscated items without the proper paperwork-"

"Hey, pal," the armored turian leaned forward and placed his elbow on the desk in a non-confrontational manner, "_nobody_ likes to do paperwork around here. I'm actually trying to prevent you from doing more than your share. Have you inputted the specifications for each item you've collected in the box?"

"Actually, no. I was about to get right on that, though-"

The trooper interrupted Sellers again with a shake of his helmeted head. "No, no. You see, if I were to go back onto the shuttle sans the items in question, you would have inputted them into the system before I could get back to your desk after I accomplished this little job. Then, I would have to add the items I found on the shuttle to the initial belongings that you would have already catalogued, requiring you to input everything all over again. This way, I can create an initial archive basing the items in this box versus the rest of the items we still have yet to take from the shuttle. All you have to do is make one pass-through of the materials into the database. It's a win for you and no trouble for me."

"Well…" Sellers considered, "it _is_ against protocol…"

"Ah, screw protocol. We've already had that incident with arresting that quarian and that turian a few hours back and now I hear that a Spectre is on his way here to take one of the prisoners for himself. And if a Spectre is coming here, then he will undoubtedly make notes concerning this operation to her superiors: the Council. We need to run a tight ship here to keep up appearances and if that involves taking a few painless shortcuts, then what's the harm in doing so, huh?"

Sellers face stooped for a moment as he considered the prospect of having to do less mundane work than he originally thought. With a wry smile, he opened the access window and pushed the box containing Garrus' armor as well as the guns and ammo towards the trooper.

"Just be sure to note everything the way you found it, all right?"

"Will do," the trooper grunted as he hefted the box in his arms. Sellers then cleared him into the hangar before sliding the door shut behind him.

Now alone in the hangar, the trooper walked through the walkway that housed the lone occupant at the end of the ship: the quarian shuttle. A cautious tune hummed through the helmet's mouthpiece as the turian entered the craft and summarily locked the airlock behind him after the doors slid shut behind him. With a dry laugh, the armored guard yanked the helmet off his head and Garrus grinned fiercely as he appraised the empty space. He had damn near done it!

Bypassing all of those checkpoints inside the prison to get to this shuttle had to be one of the easiest endeavors he had managed to pull off in his life. The guard he had knocked out earlier apparently had not been lying when he had said that the closed circuit cameras in the hallway had been switched off to allow the little romp to happen, so Garrus had used that time to his advantage by stealing the uniform of the guard and closing the cell back up once he had left to give off a sense of normality. No one had been the wiser.

He then had proceeded to walk through the checkpoints after making a few twists and turns through the complex, whereupon his armor's name tag was scanned to confirm his identity at these stations. Humans on the _Gehenna_ had to undergo facial recognition to proceed into the cordoned off areas but because the outsourced turian workforce was not part of the comparison software offered by the Alliance, the human guards here did not even bother trying to calibrate the machines to detect turian faces, meaning that they just let Garrus proceed through the checkpoints without even asking him to remove his helmet.

The entire operation reeked of slight racism but in this case, it worked to Garrus' advantage that the humans were just lazy. Or perhaps that this prison was only constructed to house humans. It was entirely possible, as Garrus had not asked about the specifics of this place before.

On the shuttle, he rummaged through the box to confirm that all the pieces of his armor were there, which they were. His and Tali's weapons were also there too with the right amount of thermal clips in there. He laughed again and made to secure the box before he took his place at the shuttle's controls, a new pit of worry in his gut as a thought quickly came to him.

Once he switched the shuttle's controls on, he realized that the brief worry was for naught. The prison was run by amateurs, Garrus decided, as they had not made to move the shuttle to a secure hangar since he had arrived to the _Gehenna_. It had still been parked in the guest wing, where the ships were just left hanging in open space. Furthermore, technicians had not worked to remotely shut down the shuttle's electrical systems and render them immobile to whoever would fly it without permission. This was good because Tali was not here to potentially fix a problem if it cropped up. If the _Gehenna_ had put a lock on the shuttle then he would be screwed.

The comm was now pulsating, indicating that he was being hailed. Most likely the control tower in the prison had detected that the craft was warming up and was checking to see if one of their own was responsible for the activation. Barely concealing his grin, Garrus punched the button to disengage the shuttle from the Gehenna, and immediately booted up a preprogrammed course for the relay at the edge of the solar system, causing the quarian shuttle to jump into FTL speeds before anyone had any idea what just happened.

_So long, Gehenna! Try and get the upper hand on me now, Nitherius._

"Now," Garrus said as he leaned forward over the console, "where did you go, Tali?"

* * *

_Cracking progress at ninety nine percent…just one more firewall to break through…opening all necessary ports for root access and…yes!_

With a fizzle, the orange bands of the omni-cuffs silently blinked away from Tali's wrists, her program having run its course. She rubbed at her arms, trying to remove any kinks in them from being restrained, even if it was only for a little while.

Paav had not noticed that his prisoner was unrestrained inside his craft, having been facing forward in his cockpit the entire time. Tali kept her hands underneath the table, rendering her captor unable to see the current situation for what it really was at the moment.

She would not be taken to Rannoch just yet, that much she had already decided. She just needed to be quick in these next few seconds.

"Paav," Tali moaned in a pathetic tone, "how much longer is this trip going to take? I'm getting _bored_."

Paav sighed explosively in frustration, obviously annoyed at how such an esteemed person in his society was apparently acting like a petulant child. He turned his body to the side so that he could pull up the information on a separate screen, angled away from Tali.

"If you would _keep quiet_ for just a moment, you'll realize that we only have two more-"

With a grunt, Tali sprung out of her seat and lunged for the controls of the shuttle. Paav shouted in panic and grabbed the woman around the waist at the last moment roughly to restrain her, but not before the palm of Tali's hand struck down in the right place upon the holographic interface, causing the element zero stabilization levels to become unbalanced. A huge surge of power was sent directly into the engine feed as a result, which immediately began to overload the system.

Ducking past Tali's flailing limbs and ignoring her screams of rage, Paav bodily picked her up and forcibly began to push her into one of the individual rooms in the back, but not before the shuttle gave a slight lurch and the blue backdrop of FTL abruptly winked out. Paav looked back in a panic to observe that they had dropped out of hyperspace to end up back in regular c-space, where the laws of physics could once again be applied. Red warning lights were flaring up all over the dashboard but the soldier could not afford to pay them any heed at the moment.

In that instant, Paav realized that Tali had managed to sabotage the shuttle's FTL drive, rendering their current rate of progress to the relay to a crawl. Right now, they were both stuck in the blackness of space with no clear way of making it to Rannoch anytime soon.

"Damn you, Tali'Zorah!" Paav yelled as he rudely shoved her into one of the sparse rooms. "You're only prolonging the inevitable and making things worse for yourself!"

"Tali'_Shepard_!" Tali screamed as the metal door slammed upon her, locking her in the room and slightly muffling her voice. "My name is Tali'Shepard, you stupid bastard!"

"I don't care!" Paav roared back at the impassive face of the door, too enraged for his mind to think clearly. "No matter what you choose to designate yourself, you will still face the full wrath of the Admiralty Board as well as my own once we put all of this to an end! You will stay in this room until we get back to the homeworld, no matter how long it will take us!"

"_Go to hell!"_

Fuming and not paying the raving woman any more heed, Paav stormed back over to the cockpit, where he furiously tried to address the multiple failure warnings that were beginning to convalesce on his screen. Behind him, several loud thunks followed by intermittent clangs were being emanated from the door. That was most likely Tali throwing herself at the door, trying to break her way out by force. Paav knew that she was of no concern now and that there were other things to worry about at the moment. Tali was now locked in there by old-fashioned locks; there was no way she was going to hack her way out of that room.

The shuttle's propulsion capabilities were a mess, to put it lightly. When Tali had deliberately overloaded the eezo system, she had unintentionally caused a feedback to occur in order to disperse the immense amount of power generated from the electrical manipulation of the substance. That had blown out the FTL drives and now the shuttle was practically limping, barely able to sustain bursts from the sublight drive in order to propel it forward. To make matters worse, the amount of power needed to keep the drive functional had to be drawn from other functioning systems to support the critically damaged one, meaning that the current life support was dangerously low, the comm was knocked out, and the shields plus the acceleration dampeners were on the fritz.

No matter how it could be looked at, this thing needed repairs right now. Being unable to traverse into FTL effectively put this entire ship out of commission, but it was a fix that Paav was sure he could accomplish in short order. Tali was still cursing him out inside her makeshift prison, unable to know just how much of a bind she had put Paav in. He certainly did not want to give her more ammo to which she could rearm another verbal assault.

With a regretful huff, Paav switched on the low-voltage distress beacon mainly as a formality. If any luck could come his way then he would be grateful for the chance. But this shuttle still needed to be worked on and Paav was not entirely confident about performing such a sensitive repair in zero-gravity. The dangers of doing so were too numerous for him to even consider risking such a daring maneuver.

Luckily, Tali's meddling had caused the craft to jump in the relative vicinity of a habitual planet, Tyr. At the shuttle's current power levels, Paav estimated that he could make it to Tyr's surface within an hour and a half whereupon he could then commence with the repairs in earnest. Knowing his luck with populated areas, he decided that it would be best if he stuck to the uninhabited outskirts of the colonies, just so he did not attract any unwanted attention.

Sighing, Paav tried to control his racing heart rate as he angled in the shuttle to approach the nitrogen-based planet's surface. Behind him, Tali continued to scream in her cell.

* * *

**A/N: I actually think that Garrus was underpowered in the games. Renegade ex-cop turned vigilante should know some serious combat moves to get himself out of a bind, so I'd imagine that he could take four hopeful punks no problem. Now I'm caught wondering what the ME series would have looked like if Zack Snyder had directed the action sequences as he possesses a very keen visual eye in his films.**

**Alas, we're stuck with Mac Walters for Andromeda. Hopefully Chris Schlerf will be able to come up with a killer script like he did for Halo 4 and some of the comics. Say what you will about that game, but the character interactions between the protagonists were undoubtedly the best in the series.**


	13. Chapter 12: Riptide

_Normandy_, 2186

_Tali leaned over the railing in the middle of the CIC as she watched the holographic interface of the galaxy grow before her eyes. The ersatz stars sparkled in her visor as the cloud of ships continually grew and took shape, culminating into the largest fleet she had ever seen – at least from the electronic representation. Techs were hard at work all around her, wired into their duties, tapping on various panels in preparation, the entire craft buzzing with subdued voices. _

_Standing above everyone in sight on top of the raised platform, Tali felt like she was the ruler of the entire galaxy, almost imagining that she could bend the entirety of space to her will. Did Shepard feel this same way? He could stand up here for days on end, watching the realm of space gently rotate in a dusty vortex. Surely the notion of him envisioning himself ruler of everything physical must have crossed his mind some days._

_As more and more ships entered from the relay system into this wayward pocket of emptiness, Tali closely appraised the amalgamation of vessels that endlessly poured in to add to the group. Sleek asari warships, bulky human cruisers, hardy krogan rammers, winged turian interceptors, and her own bulbous quarian fleet could be spotted amongst the mix. This was the image of a truly united galaxy, the ultimate melting pot that even the Citadel could not have brought together – a sight that had been fantasy in the minds of trillions._

_In six hours' time this entire gathering, the most formidable collection of lifeforms in all existence, would proceed to the nearest relay and streak towards the cluster at the far arm of the Milky Way, towards the planet that Shepard called home. There, the final battle for survival will begin and all life – organic and synthetic – could prove to the machine gods that they deserved custody of their own lives, that they would not be harvested like livestock. At the far part of a wayward arm, the biggest battle amongst the stars would commence in mere hours._

_Earth. For the first time in her life, Tali would see the homeworld where humanity was nurtured, where everything would be won or lost._

_Jitters ran down her arms as if an electric shock had bolted through her body. Tali trembled, fully knowing that she could be facing her last days alive, but there was another reason behind the nervousness. It was more impatience, really, that she had to wait all this time for-_

_A hand gently tapped at her shoulder and Tali whirled around, her heart in her throat. She smiled around her pulsating chest as she saw Shepard, clothed in his dress blues, looking up at her with a hand outstretched. He was waiting for her permission to proceed, she realized._

"_They're ready for us now, Tali," Shepard whispered._

_The quarian quickly clapped her hand to the human's, barely able to conceal a soft noise of glee as she knew what was going to happen momentarily. Shepard, his face aglow, quickly pulled on her arm and led an excited Tali to the door behind him, through the war room, and into the comm station, where a cadre of smiling individuals greeted her._

_To the right, Garrus and Liara stood glowing, their attire a little more formal than normal. Liara was wearing a long dress that carefully wrapped around her smooth form but was still very much conservative and respectful. Garrus, unusually, had chosen ditched his armor in favor of a black and white suit. He looked good, but not as snappy as Shepard, she thought to herself. There was still a militaristic edge to the turian, but his posture was more relaxed than usual._

_Near the communications console stood two humans that Tali did not recognize. One of them was tall, scarred, and had a white goatee. The insignias on the man's shoulder and cap denoted that he was an admiral of the Alliance, to Tali's surprise. This must be Admiral Hackett, Tali realized as the man gave her a respectful nod of welcome._

_The second human was young lieutenant, fresh-faced, and carried an odd object made out of paper at his side. It was a book, she discovered after further appraisal. She had seen Kasumi with several of the unusual-looking things before but it seemed that humans in general carried an immense respect or nostalgia for the old format. _

_Rushing towards her friends first, Tali opened her arms wide and grabbed both Garrus and Liara in a hug while Shepard went to talk with the other humans. All three began laughing and they extracted themselves from the quarian's grip after a few moments of surrender._

"_I'm so happy that you're here," Tali mumbled around her swelling emotions._

"_You kidding?" Garrus said as he lightly hit Tali's arm. "Two of my best friends are getting married and there would even be a doubt that I would come to the ceremony? I wouldn't miss this for anything, Tali."_

"_Thank you," Tali said after suppressing a sob of joy._

_Liara seemed to sense Tali being overwhelmed from her feelings. "Oh," she cooed as she quickly hugged the quarian again, who seemed to dissolve into the embrace gratefully. "You have no idea how happy I am for you two," she whispered. "You deserve each other and I know you'll live a wonderful life together." She prodded Tali's chest for emphasis. "He will be the best husband you could ever have. Just be there for him, Tali. Whenever he's with you, he's happy."_

"_I will," Tali promised. "I will always be there for him."_

_The three hugged once again and parted, their faces flushed with warmth and love. Tali was grateful that she had met such kind and strong individuals that had done nothing but support her for her entire life. Best friends with a turian and an asari, and she was getting married to a human to boot! Her life certainly could not have been any less predictable._

"_Did…" Tali began wringing her hands, "…did John tell you that we…we want-"_

"_Don't worry," Garrus winked at Tali. "Shepard went over everything and we have agreed wholeheartedly. We're keeping our mouths shut, you can count on that."_

_Tali nodded gratefully. "Good…" she sighed. "That's good. It's just that…John thinks that telling everyone about us right now is only going to be a distraction. I think he's right about that, because you know him…John cannot afford to have any more distractions on top of whatever he's got going on right now."_

"_That's a good idea," Liara said. "It wouldn't do to have any poorly-timed questions about your marriage in the middle of a firefight from the regular soldiers. Do you have any idea when you want to make the announcement, though?"_

_Tali turned back, to find that Shepard was engaged in an animated discussion with both the admiral and lieutenant. She considered for a moment and gave a slight shrug. "Sometime after the war, I guess. I really haven't thought about it much. We'll probably make...us…public once we've settled down for a bit."_

"_You could always come to Rannoch, where you'll be safe from the inevitable paparazzi when you do decide to reveal what you've done," a scratchy voice burst out to the side. Tali craned her head and spotted a ghostly figure projected from the holographic crystals, the bluish light creating a familiar suited, female form._

"_Auntie Raan!" Tali gasped as she ran over to the comm. "You're here! How…how did you know?"_

_The figure of Shala'Raan chuckled. "Shepard actually contacted me a week ago and asked me for my permission before he would approach you for your hand in marriage. I knew how much he meant to you and he extended an offer for me to be a witness to the occasion."_

_Tali was becoming overwhelmed again. "Keelah. I just can't believe you're here, Raan. It's so good to know that you're able to see this."_

"_I'm glad too, child. Your parents would be so proud of you if they could see you today."_

_Tali dipped her head and a few tears dropped from her lids. She did not reflect upon the past much longer and quickly straightened after a few more sniffles. Suddenly, she found Shepard by her side and she looked up at his face questioningly. He motioned with his head to look at Raan and she did, after he placed a firm arm around her shoulders._

_The projection of Raan raised a translucent arm, sweeping across the invisible plain. "I am also here for one more reason, Tali. It is the duty of an admiral of the fleet to oversee and bless the new links in the chain forged by two souls bonded by time and love. I have been waiting for this day for a long time, my child. Step forward, and receive the blessing uttered time and again by our people."_

_Tali and Shepard both stepped forward until they could proceed no further, their arms intertwined. Underneath the spectral image, Tali dipped her head respectfully and Shepard did the same beside her. They closed their eyes, subjecting themselves to the ancient words uttered by Raan – written by those who had come long before._

"_Cast adrift amongst the stars, deep in the wild and endless void,  
Wandering without purpose, to discover the soul locked inside,  
A pilgrim had diverged long ago, returned to us a shipmate,  
But a new journey soon revealed itself, to lead outside the bonds of duty,  
Through the canvas of time, the ribbon of fate, and the guidance of the Ancestors,  
The quest remained unsaid, unexpressed, unspoken, to reach for the intangible,  
With intent realized, the hand found purchase, and a soul found a mate,  
Adrift no longer, never to be apart, we welcome the pilgrims home."_

_Lifting her head, Tali wished that she could wipe the now steadily flowing tears from her cheeks as Raan looked upon her proudly. Shepard was also misty eyed from the passage and he dabbed at them with the sleeve of his coat._

"_That was beautiful, admiral," he said. "Thank you."_

"_Yes, Raan," Tali uttered, her voice hoarse. "Thank you so much."_

"_May the Ancestors watch over you both," Raan said, her visor definitely containing a smile. "I wish you both long and prosperous lives. Keelah se'lai."_

"_Keelah se'lai," Tali and Shepard both murmured as the apparition winked out of existence._

_The two then turned around after the crisp clacks of boots on metal began to edge toward them. Admiral Hackett gave a wry smile and extended a hand to Tali, which she accepted. For being an elderly looking man, he had one of the strongest grips she had ever felt, short of Shepard's of course._

"_Admiral Zorah? I'm Admiral Hackett," the man said. "It's an honor to finally meet you in person."_

"_I am honored too," Tali granted with a newfound boldness in her voice, Raan's blessing still echoing in her head. "John has told me a lot about you, sir. He has said that you are one of the finest commanders he has served under throughout his career."_

"_Did he, now?" Hackett said with an impish grin. Shepard returned the smile somewhat sheepishly, as if to say, 'Well, she's not wrong.'_

_Hackett then beckoned over the young man, who had been standing over to the side for most of the time. "This is Lieutenant Richardson. He'll be presiding over the ceremony today."_

_Tali was confused. "Wait, don't admirals have the power to marry people on the ship?"_

_Hackett chuckled politely. "I'm afraid it's not that simple, Admiral Zorah. Humanity's marriage laws are a bit more rigid than the rest of the galaxy's. For a long time, these ceremonies were only considered valid when they were performed on dry land. With the majority of our people out in space, we've had to accommodate for this scenario a bit. But as a registered priest, Richardson will effectively make this union legal in accordance with our laws and therefore the Council's. He has the appropriate license, I don't."_

"_A priest, eh?" Shepard's hand came to his chin._

"_That's correct, sir," Richardson spoke for the first time. "Went to seminary and everything. Afraid I'm not the most spiritual person to have come from that school, though," he admitted sheepishly. "Religious texts have aged poorly in the fact that they only account for humans being the only celestial beings. It's hard to find the logic in such studies when the proof is right in front of one's face." _

_Richardson's previously intense face suddenly brightened. "But that doesn't seem to have bothered many people, not lately at least. Already I've married at least ten people in the past twenty-four hours, as apparently priests are rather sought after with this battle approaching. Everyone just wants to be prepared and get this out of the way, I guess."_

"_My thoughts exactly," Shepard said as he locked eyes with Tali. "I've been waiting for this day for a long time now."_

"_Then I shall not delay you any further," Richardson said as he passed a tablet and a stylus over to Shepard. "Here's the wedding certificate. If you two will just look over it and sign, that will officially declare you two married. Would you like to proceed with the spoken vows regardless?"_

"_Might as well stick to tradition," Shepard said mildly as he signed the tablet. "But you can do the truncated version. I'm not the most spiritual of people either."_

"_As you wish, sir."_

_Tali took the tablet and actually tried to spend time looking at the glowing document. It was full of text saturated with legalese, so dense that Tali felt her eyes hurt from just glancing at the screen. She soon signed her name in flowing Khelish script beneath Shepard's untidy scrawl and passed the tablet back to Richardson._

"_Much obliged," the young man said. "Now, what affiliation would you prefer for the ceremony?"_

_Tali looked to Shepard and he shrugged. "My mother was raised Methodist, so I guess we can go with that."_

_Richardson glanced at Tali. "Will the lady be all right with reciting passages related to foreign deities?"_

_Tali honestly did not care. "John was blessed before my Ancestors," she replied. "I'll be united with him before whatever he believes. It will only be fair."_

"_Just out of respect, I'll see if I can trim some of the heavy passages down for you. This isn't going to be a traditional Christian marriage as the Bible never accounted for unions with other-worldly life, so I'm going to amend that on the fly. I'm sure the Lord will forgive me, if he is the kind and loving kind that I've been led to believe and not the fire-and-brimstone version. Vengeful gods have their uses but it just makes everything so depressing." _

_Realizing that he had gone off on a tangent, Richardson shook his head. "Do any of you have any rings to present?"_

"_Afraid not," Shepard said as he sheepishly patted himself down. "This was too spur-of-the-moment for me to go out and get something."_

"_No problem there," Richardson waved off. "None of the couples I've wed today had time to go out and get rings either. You could always go out and get a pair once this is all over." He then cleared his throat. "We can begin now."_

_Shepard made a gulping noise after he straightened the collar of his jacket. He stepped to the side and held his hands out, a request to be joined. Tali raised her hands and clasped the human's, meeting in the middle while Hackett, Garrus, and Liara looked on, the latter practically fawning with adoration for the couple._

_Richardson opened the leather-bound book, sifting through the heavy tome to find the correct passage he was seeking. With an intake of breath, he read in a clear tone, "Friends, we are gathered together in the sight of God to witness and bless the joining of John and Tali in marriage. The covenant of marriage was established by God, who created male and female for each other. Now, John and Tali come to give themselves to one another in this holy covenant."_

_Richardson looked out among his flock, watching Liara clutch at Garrus' arm, tears held back in her eyes, and at Hackett, who could have been made out of stone – but with a glad expression on his face._

"_I ask you now," he continued, "in the presence of these people, to declare your intention to enter into a union with each other through His ever-loving grace."_

_Richardson turned to Tali with a smile. "Tali, will you have John to be your husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"_

"_I will," Tali said instantly, the answer being obvious to her._

_Richardson repeated the question to Shepard, who also answered the same without hesitation. To the three people congregated behind the couple, the priest posed the next question._

"_Will all of you, by God's grace, do everything in your power to uphold and care for these two persons in their marriage?"_

"_We will," Hackett said, and after some hesitation with the overall concept, Garrus and Liara dutifully swore the same._

_All smiles, Richardson turned the book over and held it out to Shepard, who took the heavy volume from the priest's hands. Richardson pointed out a passage highlighted on the current page and said, "If you could read that paragraph together, please?"_

"_Of course," Shepard said earnestly and moved the book in his hands so that Tali could see. He waited until the software in Tali's helmet could give her a translation of the English text printed upon the paper so that they could proceed together. Tali's finger came to the page and Shepard knew she was ready then._

_Keelah, Tali thought, her own voice even sounding unusually high-pitched in her head. This is it._

"_In the name of God," they said together, "I take you to be my mate, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."_

_The words rang heavily upon Tali, and she felt light-headed as Shepard handed the book back to Richardson and resumed clenching the other's hand tightly. How Shepard could possibly be so calm, she could not understand. She felt like she was about to burst right here, knowing that she was being married in his eyes forevermore._

"_You have declared your consent and vows before God and this congregation," Richardson announced triumphantly. "May God confirm your covenant and fill you both with grace. Now that John and Tali have given themselves to each other by solemn vows with the joining of hands. I announce to you that they are husband and wife; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one put asunder. Amen."_

"_Amen," Shepard repeated before he swept Tali off her feet to the tune of quiet yet enthusiastic applause from the three witnesses. In front of everyone, he kissed her directly on the mouthpiece in lieu of her lips, to which she gave a soft cry of gleeful surprise._

"_It…" she stammered. "It's done?"_

"_It's done," Shepard grinned. "We're married, Tali."_

_Married. After all this time. She now had a husband to love and call her own. He was now hers.  
_

_Laughing louder than anyone else, Tali threw her arms around Shepard as she simultaneously sobbed with joy. She hugged the human tightly, unwilling to let him go for even a moment. This was too important for anyone to ruin – it would take the might of hundreds to pry her off this man now that they were bonded for the rest of their lives._

_For what seemed like an eternity, Tali finally was able to break away from Shepard, only for the need for air due to her clenching him so tightly. Numbly, she floated through the motions of shaking hands with Hackett once more before being bombarded with hugs and congratulations from Garrus and Liara after they had done the same to Shepard. Hands gently prodded her all over and she felt like kelp bending over from a current in a river, helpless to correct her orientation._

_After Liara hugged her once last time, Tali became face to face with Garrus. He was still catching his breath, a little choked up for words. Finding nothing applicable to say, he glanced over to the doorway and Tali followed his gaze. Shepard stood waiting in the war room, a warm smile upon his face as he prepared to greet his new bride, his new wife._

_With a cock of his head, Garrus gave a chuckle. "Go to him, Tali."_

"_Thank you, Garrus," Tali breathed and she belted down the small staircase after her husband. _

_Giggling like children, Shepard took her by the hand and led her away from the comm room, away from all these people. Hoping that no one would notice their flight, the two of them bounded into the elevator and waited for the lift to rise at the final destination of the night._

* * *

Present – Planet Tyr

The first thing Tali felt was a pain in her neck. It had gradually developed from a light tingle to a full on throb in what seemed to be no time at all. With a groan, she jolted awake and winced as she straightened her back, her muscles aching from having been hunched over while sleeping.

Tali tried to move her arms so that she could stretch, but for some reason they were locked in place behind her back, preventing her from ironing out the kinks that had developed during her little siesta.

Then she just remembered why she could not move her limbs. She had been cuffed just a few hours previously, with actual cuffs no less, not the hackable omni ones. These ones were made of steel, only unlockable through a physical key. If Tali knew how to properly pick a lock, she might have found this situation to only be mildly annoying. That being said, she had never brushed up on the subject before and there was nothing in her vicinity that she could use to start messing about with the cuffs to begin with.

Quickly, she was becoming agitated again.

The tiny room of the shuttle that she was currently encased in did not provide much in the way of comfort, for that matter. The walls and floor were all dark gray, made out of an impure metal, and Spartan in terms of amenities. All that the room – _cell_ – had in it was a bench with no cushioning. Tali had actually slept sitting up upon the lone seating arrangement after her immense adrenaline usage had caused her to experience a sudden crash. Now that she had time to adjust to her surroundings, Tali felt wide awake once again, but not yet to the point of pure panic.

_Damn it!_ Tali thought. _I can't get out of here!_

Forestalling her desperation, Tali willed her limbs to still themselves and listened intently for a moment.

"Paav?" she called. "Paav? Are you there?"

No answer, which either meant that he was ignoring her or that he was outside the ship and simply could not hear her. Come to think of it, the vessel was not exhibiting any of the subtle vibrations that came from a standard FTL jump, nor were any of the systems powering the engines online. That told her two things: that they were floating helplessly in zero-gravity, or that Paav had managed to find a place to land so that he could conduct repairs on the engines that she had managed to sabotage at the last minute.

After a few moments of silence, Tali swore she could hear the faint rush of water from beyond the locked door. It reminded her of the ocean. So, apparently Paav had managed to find a somewhat hospitable planet to land upon. Based on the roaring of liquid that she could barely make out from her little cell, Tali was able to deduce that they were near a sea of some sorts. Water meant life, and she knew from memory that the current system they were in supported a fair amount of human colonies. That meant that there was a good chance she was about a quick hop away from a reasonably colonized settlement were she to get free. She still needed to work out that last aspect, though.

In addition to the crashing of waves, there was also the distant tapping noise of a tool being banged upon by another piece of metal. Paav most likely performing manual engine surgery would be her guess. She had no idea how good of a mechanic he was, but she had to buy whatever time that she had left so that she could prevent her undignified return back to Rannoch.

"Paav!" she yelled, now a bit louder. "I know you can hear me, Paav!"

Still no answer.

"Paav, damn it, you have to let me go! You don't need to take me back to the homeworld! Just exile me right now! Tell Raan that you weren't able to find me! Release me right now! _Paav!_"

She continued to plead for another half an hour but all of her appeals, no matter how generous they were, fell upon deaf ears or were simply swallowed up by the noises of the planet.

* * *

APV _Gehenna_

The four bodies had not been left in the cell for very long. The blood was only beginning to congeal by the time Nitherius arrived on the scene, so the smell of iron was not pungent enough to assault his olfactory senses quite yet.

Next to him, the warden of the ship was profusely apologizing, claiming that he had no idea that Vakarian had somehow managed to escape in such a brazen fashion. The more he expressed his remorse, the more miserable and pathetic the little, bald human became in Nitherius' eyes. The fact that this man and his so-called professional crew had allowed a locked up prisoner to kill four inmates, knock a guard unconscious and steal his uniform, and practically walk out of the ship with all of his confiscated belongings was nothing short of unbelievable. Yet it had happened anyway.

The turian guard had come to by the time Nitherius had arrived and he admitted to tampering with the security camera footage while under duress from the four inmates, which a quick background check had revealed those individuals to be associated with the human warlord Argeir. At least that explained the rather large gaps in the footage. No one had been watching when Vakarian had turned the tables on his attackers which had rendered the rest of the ship none the wiser. The only thing that was definite at this point was that the guard would be out of a job within the hour, once his colossal screw-up was finalized and made clear to the _Gehenna_ staff.

Nitherius, as furious as he was, found himself admiring Vakarian's tenacity. The man did not give up easily and was trained well in combat to fight his way out of an enclosed area with apparently less than severe injuries. Nitherius was still smarting from the fact that Vakarian had gotten the upper hand on him once already and now it seemed he was resorting to staying out of the Spectre's reach at all times. The turian must have had quite a pair on him to have simply strutted out the front door of a prison while expecting such a strategy to work.

_Slippery man_, Nitherius thought. _He will not allow me to get close again. He's watching his back now that he's been alerted to my presence. Things will only get more difficult from here._

Suddenly, his omni-tool began to ping and Nitherius turned away from the warden and ducked into an adjacent hallway to answer the call. The face of the Primarch popped up on his screen, the man's expression weary.

"Verdis," the Primarch said, "It appears your mass-bulletin over the QED system worked. I've just received a report that Vakarian had been incarcerated on board an Alliance prison vessel. Have you confirmed his presence for the proper deportation protocols to commence?"

"About that…" Nitherius grimaced. "There is a slight issue. Vakarian managed to overpower his captors in a bizarre sequence of events and…he's on the lam again."

Victus' face fell a few more inches. "What?" he asked flatly. "Please tell me you're joking."

"If I was joking, sir, I would have prepared a little dance routine, put on a big smile, and tossed a bunch of confetti around. No sir, I am assuredly _not_ joking."

"Then how could such a thing happen?!"

Nitherius shot a nasty glance back to the hall from whence he came. "Well, I've got an incompetent warden here, four bodies that were brutally beaten or slashed to death, a bribed guard, and a wealth of lax security policies that could allow a _krogan_ to slip by undetected on this vessel. Perhaps if the staff here was not so lackadaisical, then they might have been able to hold onto Vakarian for at least a few more hours. Just to make this clear, I was assured that such an outcome of him escaping would _not_ happen when they relayed me back his whereabouts."

"Spirits," Victus growled. "So where did Vakarian head off to now?"

"He's probably en route to the relay in this system, if I were to hazard a guess. Apparently, Vakarian's companion Tali'Zorah was picked up by a member of the Flotilla separately so I would assume that either he's looking to flee any pursuers entirely or he's going to attempt to rendezvous with Zorah somehow."

"Hmm," Victus mused. "If Zorah was retrieved by her own people then that means that she is also facing legal scrutiny on her side as well as ours. This complicates matters a bit."

Nitherius blinked. "How so, sir?"

"Our original intention was to give Zorah her own trial before we would deport her back to Rannoch. The fact that the quarians have already sent out a retrieval team could only mean that they are responding to any actions she has made that would put them in a bad light. Acquiring Zorah at this point would be fruitless and would strain any relations with the quarians, just when we have begun to establish goodwill between our species."

"So what do you want me to do?"

Victus' face turned grave. "Forget about Tali'Zorah for now, Verdis. For now, focus on finding Garrus Vakarian. If Zorah happens to be with him, having somehow escaped her own custody, you may retrieve her too. But at this moment, apprehending Vakarian is your number one priority. And, before you ask, it is still imperative that they remain alive, no matter how much trouble they happen to cause. So please, do not kill them, understood?"

"Got it…sir," Nitherius sighed. _You don't know just how much trouble they've been since the start, Primarch. If only…if only I could kill them, then this entire thing would go so much smoother. Not to mention the fact that it would do wonders for my stress levels. Kiyareh would have several things to say to me right now about calming my urges. I wish she was with me._

Begrudgingly, Nitherius closed the call and proceeded to stomp back to the hangar, ignoring the still flustered warden as he desperately tried to come up with an explanation for this occurrence. If it would not expose himself to major scrutiny, even as a Spectre, Nitherius found himself wishing that he could kill a lot more people that he came across in his life, the warden being one of them. If the human knew just how close to death he was at this point, he would have stopped talking.

Things were so much simpler before the Mu Relay incident. Back then, a Spectre could shoot any innocent civilian and not even get a slap on the wrist for it. Now, the role of the executioner had effectively been neutered ever since Saren Arterius had taken the job a few steps too far.

Trying to mull over this conflict was like trying to teach a volus acrobatics. It was at times like these where the usage of swearing loudly would be as appropriate as it ever could be. Nitherius courteously reserved that right once he was within the privacy of his personal craft, whereupon he began screaming profusely for several minutes while utilizing every single foul word in his vocabulary.

It did feel good to vent, though.

* * *

Planet Tyr

It was starting to get rather hot in the shuttle.

The heat from the outside air was wafting into the darkened craft and humidifying in the enclosed space, creating a stifling atmosphere that threatened to swelter Tali. Quarian enviro-suits were intuitive and ingenious marvels of technology, but they had yet to properly implement air conditioning into them. Heating the suits automatically was possible due to a micro-weave of temperature conducting fiber comprising a layer in the suit. Cooling required a lot more power than the suit could create and without that ability, Tali would be in danger of passing out within a few hours if she did not get to a place with less humidity.

She tried to think of things to occupy her mind in the meantime; a focus on element zero output calculations for a ship's drive core always helped put her at ease. Arithmetic always came easily to her; she had been considered at a young age for a destiny in mathematics, engineering being one of many alternate paths with that gift. Numbers and the laws that governed them were easily understood, it just took the right mindset to approach them, one of which Tali possessed.

But, no matter how hard she tried, the equations and myriad symbols that accompanied them always faded away right when she was beginning to become invested to reveal a different focus: Shepard. All she could think of, despite her best efforts, was of the human, her beloved husband. She could see him in his armor, battle-weary, but determined to the end, as he approached wave after wave of enemies and foes, with her by his side. She could see him stand tall among the dead and dying, only to crumple with relief into her arms at the end of an arduous day. The silent moments when they did not talk but stare at one another, held the most meaning for her. It brought her comfort, even in a place like this, to know that she felt a connection to someone without having to utter a single, solitary, word.

The deepest resonation, though, was knowing that her initial image of the infallible human had been shattered after she had spent time getting to know him better. To realize that he was just a man rapidly approaching his limit and needing someone to be there for her, gave Tali the greatest sense of importance of all. Shepard was not faultless – he needed Tali. She had been there when he needed a comforting presence the most and it was in her arms that he had found it. To think that a human commander would become such a close friend and eventually her mate…Tali could never have comprehended just how much this man would mean to her.

_Stop…stop…_ Tali shook her head. _Numbers, Tali. Think about numbers. You will see him soon. You're just hurting yourself more by doing this. You just need to think about something-_

A sharp crackle, almost like a flare igniting, cut off her thinking with a jolt of alarm. A decrepitating sound came in and out sporadically; a flurry of static trying to break through the periods of silence. It sounded like it was coming from _this room_, actually, but where would such a noise emanate from if Tali could not see the source?

She frantically turned her head, her arms aching as they tried to move with her torso, still bound behind her body. That ache drew her attention to her semi-paralyzed limbs, and what they possessed that Tali could not witness for herself, despite its ironic closeness.

_My omni-tool…but…but how?_

A harsh snapping sound finally squealed out from the static blizzard and a high-pitched squeal pinged through, dimly registering at the highest frequency of Tali's hearing ability. Somehow, a connection had been made.

"H-Hello?" Tali breathed. "Who's there?"

No one replied and Tali started to feel a little more nervous. Was she imagining her omni-tool activating or was the heat and the confinement finally getting to her?

"If someone is there, please answer me!" Tali begged. "I need…I need to talk to someone…"

"_Does that mean that I qualify as someone, Tali'Shepard?_" a smooth voice burst from behind her. The familiar tone of the Illusive Man nearly made her shriek with horror and surprise. As such, she bit her tongue so hard that blood splashed into her mouth, making her entire body jolt with pain.

"You!" Tali hissed around the taste of copper. "How the- how did you get my omni-tool address?!"

"_I've had plenty of chances to talk with your…husband, Tali'Shepard_," the Illusive Man chuckled softly. "_He's provided me with several new insights regarding your relationship together, among other things. It is rare that I am surprised nowadays, but his divulgence of one fact struck me the most. The fact that he married you, a quarian, despite what I initially thought had been a fling born from extreme circumstances. Apparently it ran deeper than I imagined._"

His calm voice echoed in the cube, but Tali could not see that chain-smoking, odd-eyed, racist freak that dared taunt her over this! Never in her life had Tali wanted to kill another living being more. A gunshot to the head would not do that human justice; she wanted to rip out the man's throat with her bare hands and revel in the blood that would fountain in the air from his ruined throat while she put out his eyes with her thumbs. The desire to tear, main, and throttle the human in the most painful way possible was so great that Tali unknowingly began to growl like a rabid animal, almost losing herself in a hateful haze.

_He's trying to make you angry,_ Tali managed to realize through her bloodlust. _He only wants to distract you from your goal and make you slip up._

_Well_, another part of her thought, _he's succeeding, isn't he?_

With her hands tied behind her back, Tali was at a disadvantage of not being able to look the bastard in his eyes as he spouted his nonsense, causing her to thrash in place in frustration.

"Quit taunting me!" she snarled. "If you lay one more hand on John, you will regret making the mistake of crossing me to begin with!"

The Illusive Man had to be smiling broadly at this point. "_Ever the loyal wife, Mrs. Shepard. Rest assured, whatever injuries that the commander has sustained in my presence, he was the indirect cause of them. We've had several interesting conversations together, just the two of us. He thinks about you a lot, you know that?_"

"That's because he knows I'm coming to rescue him!" Tali said triumphantly. "John knows that I will track him to the edge of this _universe_ if that what it takes to find him again! And there's nowhere that you can go that I won't follow."

"_Ah_," the slick voice mused. "_A bold proclamation, but some doors can still remain locked for the ones unwilling to traverse the unknown_."

"I am _more_ than willing!" Tali yelled. "Also, I've had enough of your drabble! Let me speak to John! I want to speak to my husband!"

"_All good things to those who wait…_" the Illusive Man practically sighed. "_Your 'husband' will need his strength if he is going to talk. He is recovering right now from an earlier…session. When he is ready, I will let him speak with you, Tali'Shepard. You have my word. For now, he will remain with me for a little while longer. We still have much to talk about…as do you and me_."

_No…Keelah, no…_

"_I wish you all the luck, Tali'Shepard. A life depends on you. I will leave it to you to determine the rest. I look forward to us conversing once again."_

"Determine…what?" Tali asked before the sound of a display powering down softly pinged behind her. "Wait…WAIT! No! NO! You bastard! Come back here and talk! Where is he?! _Where is John?! BRING HIM TO ME!_"

Howling, Tali lifted her legs and thrust them out against the wall across from her, creating a horrendous banging noise. She slammed her booted heels on the surface strongly enough to leave indents in the metal.

"NOOO!" Tali continued to wail, fully knowing that no one could hear her through her tool but she did not care. "NO! JOHN! I'm coming for you! _I will find you!_ I will kill that _bosh'tet_ with my own hands, do you hear me?! _I will kill him!_"

In the middle of one of Tali's flails, the cot door suddenly banged open upon squeaky rails, revealing a very annoyed Paav, stained with grease and oil from working on the engines. His eyes were more evident than ever behind his visor, most likely due to the fact that they were wide with complete and utter astonishment.

"What in the name of the _Ancestors_ is going on?!" Paav yelled at the curled up woman. "What the hell could you possibly be screaming about now?"

Tali had no answers for him as she instinctively drew her knees to her chest, scooting away as far from the man as possible. She was even more fearful when she saw that Paav held a syringe in one of his hands, the needle holding a clear drop of fluid precariously perched upon the tip.

"Right," Paav snorted as he moved closer. "I've just about had it with you and your antics, Tali. I think it would be best for both of us if I were to sedate you until we get back to Rannoch. It would certainly save on my frustration were you to be dealt with in this manner."

"_Don't_…" Tali gasped as Paav took a step forward and rudely grabbed at her arm. She whimpered as the man pulled back a flap of her gray hood in order to expose the proper induction ports for injections, directly bypassing the enviro-suit to get to Tali's circulatory system. The crisp needle gleamed, ever closer, as it continually inched towards the spot where the indefinite sleep would inherently arise.

And now was such a time when sleep meant the end of everything. To sleep meant to die, a fate that Tali decided long ago that she would _not_ embrace!

With a primordial scream, Tali lunged from her cot and head-butted Paav in the middle of his chest, knocking him down to the ground and sending the syringe flying through the air. She sprinted from the open room and turned around to perform a complex somersault on the ground. Midway through the maneuver, she bent her legs and slipped her cuffed feet through the gap that she could barely muster and quickly got back up. Now her hands were in front of her, still bound, but at least she would have better dexterity and motor control now that she could see her digits.

"Tali!" an exasperated and enraged Paav shouted as he struggled to rise, the wind knocked out of him. Tali had bolted out the door of the shuttle before he was able to stand and Paav was combating with his incredulity by this point. "_Third damn time_," he muttered underneath his breath. "Keelah."

* * *

Sunlight greeted Tali as soon as she made it down the ramp to exit into the open air of the planet Tyr. Her feet also sunk in a thick substance as her visor was in the process of automatically darkening to protect her sensitive eyes. Tali threw up her cuffed hands so that she could shield herself from the bright rays so that she could fully take in her surroundings, first beginning with looking down at what she was currently standing upon.

Sand. A gritty substance coated her boots, damp and clumped together from the nearby source of moisture to her current left: the ocean. Tali could see tall waves crashing down upon the beach, white caps foaming as the tidal forces swirled the energetic liquid towards the land, moving with the force of ten Mako tanks. To her right, a high cliff of dark soil and rock towered over the shuttle; a natural barrier that enclosed the beach and prevented escape in that direction.

Tali could hear rustling around in the shuttle behind her, and with the sun beating down upon her head, with the blue sky radiating its pure color, she took off towards the water. Her feet dug into the wet sand as she ran, sometimes throwing up chunks of it as her feet practically flew over the ground. If Paav was shouting at her to stop, she could not hear anything over the roar of the flooding crests.

A natural breaker of rocks jutted out into the ocean, stemming from the edge of the cliff. It looked low enough to be traversed near the end, but that meant that she would have to travel out into the sea to reach it.

Without any hesitation or regards to the fact that she had no inkling on how to swim – especially with her cuffed hands - Tali ran into the surf, the water immediately lapping at her heels. She struggled with trying to move fast, but wading at a constant speed with the water at calf height was practically impossible. And she was constantly going deeper the further she traveled; the bottom fabric wrapped around her suit was soaking at this point, but still she carried on. Tali wiped away some of the water that splashed onto her visor, wanting nothing to obstruct her goal. Just ten more seconds and she would be there!

With a bang and a spray of salty foam, the water exploded just inches in front of Tali's legs. The reverberation of the gunshot echoed from the cliffs and she stopped in panic, the mist from the impact already beginning to dissolve in the heat of the day.

Slowly, Tali turned around to see Paav, a hundred meters away from her in the water, with his pistol out and leveled out at her, the barrel smoking.

Even with her cuffed hands and the chill of the ocean pressing against her legs, Tali still found the courage to scoff. "You won't do it," she shook her head.

"Oh no?" Paav had to shout over the waves. "You're right about that. But I can certainly put a round in your leg and patch you up before you die of an infection, Tali. Go ahead, doubt my sincerity."

Tali did not, especially after taking the time to appraise Paav's solid stance and the way he was peering down the iron sights of his weapon. He would unquestionably pull that trigger if she were to not comply with his demands. Like it or not, Tali was trapped once again.

"Get back over here, Tali," Paav warned. "_Right now_."

There was nothing else that Tali could do, much to her growing woe. Resisting the suction caused by resting her feet in the silty ocean floor, Tali slowly trudged over to Paav, almost screaming out loud in frustration. Paav also began wading toward her, closing the gap at a quicker pace. The man held out his hand and was inches away from grasping Tali's cuffed hands before, yet again, a plume of water erupted between them, throwing out a geyser of white water into the air.

Both Tali and Paav jumped, the former thinking that the latter had fired his gun despite her compliance. Paav yelped and began looking in all directions before an amplified voice from the direction of the cliffs roared down onto them.

"_Drop the gun and back away from Tali, asshole!_"

Paav was too scatterbrained to react immediately to the demand. He froze in place, glancing upwards in incredulity to spot a lone figure silhouetted against the glare from the sun high above the beach on the cliff, the outline of a sniper rifle unmistakable in the man's arms.

"_Garrus?_" Tali whispered in awe as she too spotted the turian positioned atop the cliff.

"Impossible…" Paav breathed as well. _How did that bosh'tet manage to find us here?_

The distraction of the rifle shot had taken its toll on the pair half-submerged in the sea, but Tali was the first one to recover from her temporary paralysis. She looked over and spotted that Paav was still glancing upward towards Garrus, unsure of what to do at the moment now that he was inexplicably outnumbered. Tali also saw that his hand that held the pistol was pointing at an angle firmly away at her now, no longer projecting any danger towards her at all. Unwilling to be a bargaining chip any longer, Tali sprang out at Paav and made a grab for the gun, the momentum sending them both crashing into the path of the waves.

The next few moments were nothing short of a mad minute. The enviro-suits of the quarians prevented the seawater from flowing into their lungs and drowning them, but the shock of being propelled into a foreign environment was startling to them both nonetheless. Tali could hear nothing but her and Paav's shouting while the current pushed and tugged at them, completely drenching them both and obscuring their visors, causing the world to distort in colorful streaks.

For several seconds, both quarians wrestled underneath the water, their movements sluggish in the higher-density medium. Bubbles floated past them both in the cloudy water, seaweed wrapped around their legs, and the two became disoriented as they thrashed this way and that. A passing wave caught them in its undertow, carrying them closer to shore where their knees impacted onto land hard, but their lower torsos were still submerged as they continued to fight.

Tali hurled her fists at her captor, but the water cushioned the blows before they could land upon solid flesh. Paav tried to grab at Tali's suit, but both of them were slippery from being soaked and their hands simply slid off the other. Calling upon her most primal rage, Tali wrenched at Paav's arm as she tried to grab the pistol, throwing herself on top of him while her feet dug in the wet sand underneath the surf. Paav yelled and landed a blow just above Tali's kidneys, causing her to yell out as something inside her jolted painfully.

Garrus, meanwhile, was struggling to scramble down the cliff face as soon as he saw his friend engage in an all-out brawl in the sea, splashing water everywhere. He hopped down from rock to rock, one hand holding his rifle as he tried to keep himself balanced, the danger of falling and breaking his neck very apparent from his current height above the beach.

As Paav grunted while fighting for control, Tali managed to hook one of her fingers inside the trigger guard of the pistol, firmly wedging it between the guard and the trigger itself, preventing it from being fired. She threw her elbow back desperately, hoping to thump the edge of Paav's helmet and cause her to be released. It hit on the top of his collarbone instead, but it still was a good enough blow that it immediately bruised the man's skin underneath the suit.

As if they shared one mind, the two of them smashed their feet into the ground and straightened their legs, standing up in the middle of the ocean as both their hands scrambled at the pistol between them. Their arms ached and their visors projected only the hateful glare from Tali and Paav's own of surprise and responsive anger. A wave barreled into them, threatening to sweep them off their feet again but they stood strong, unwilling to let the other get into a better position.

Water was flung in every direction as their limbs shook, each muscle strand pulled to the point of complete tautness. Tali could feel her lungs begin to ache, exerted to the point where she was on the verge of damaging them. Paav was also wheezing while trying to hide a strained shoulder, caused when Tali had tried to wrench it out of its socket from a nasty pull just seconds earlier.

A soggy portion of her hood flopped over Tali's visor. She twitched her head to fling it out of the way. Now utterly furious, Tali violently began to grab anywhere at the pistol, her hands vying for an inch of purchase as she struggled to pull it out of Paav's grip. The man also made similar movements to remain in control, his fingers scrambling everywhere as he tried to match Tali's ferocity. Unfortunately, Paav made a bad grab for the weapon and his hand slipped inside the trigger guard, now free from Tali's blocking fingers, and added just the extra ounce of pressure to the mechanism needed to begin the fateful reaction.

There was a dull boom and Tali reeled back with a scream. Paav fumbled the gun in response and dropped it for the waves to sweep it away. His ears were ringing, but he could still hear Tali crying out over the song of the sea, the shouts of Vakarian also alarmingly close by. In a daze, he took a step back, finding it difficult while the water was still up to his thighs.

Tali was clutching her left hand, hunched over in pain. Paav could see fat drops of blood stain the water around her, to his surprise. He followed the trajectory of the beads and saw that Tali's enviro-suit around her left hand was completely coated with her blood and that she was clenching the area around where her third finger had been. A tiny stump was all that was left of the little finger, a ragged circle of red muscle and white bone now poking out from where the bullet had sheared off the enviro-suit.

"Tali, I'm sorry!" Paav cried at the still shrieking woman, who had almost collapsed into the water from the shock at losing a finger. "It was an accident! I didn't mean to-"

A fierce splashing from the right drew his attention away for a split second. Paav had only enough time to appraise the armored and furious looking form of Garrus as the turian ran up to him through the surf, and even less time to notice the trajectory of the rifle stock swung in the direction of his head. Garrus' intent was clearly hostile but Paav could only stare dumbly as the turian moved through the arc of his swing.

The butt of the gun made contact with the side of Paav's helmet and he was knocked unconscious before his body had a chance to collapse into the ocean peacefully. As much as Paav wanted to find out what would happen next, the world turned black to deny him that privilege.

_Retribution for my sins_, was his final thought.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I'm definitely going to hell for that.  
**

**Apparently, since the last chapter, this entire story (somehow) has gotten more words put into it than the third Harry Potter book. How did _that_ happen? Huh, I didn't think my word count per chapter was _that_ high...**

**We're 2/3rds done with Irreparable now and very close to the homestretch, but a lot could still go wrong between now and the end.**


	14. Chapter 13: Falling Off The Dragon

_Normandy_, 2186

_Truthfully, Tali had to know that there was no way that she would be able to hold in her inhibitions any longer once the lift doors closed upon her and her new husband after they had raced in from the CIC, mere minutes after their marriage ceremony had concluded. Once the two of them were alone, it made sense that the fear of anyone watching would become nonexistent, figuring that the destination of their cabin would be revealed to them imminently. What transpired after that seemed like it was the right thing she should do, the _only_ thing she could do._

_Right as the sliding doors made their final hiss shut, another hiss emanated from Tali's helmet as the sealed environment broke free with the depression of the clasps. Grabbing at the visor, Tali lifted it off her face, leaped into Shepard's arms with just enough time for him to catch her, and quickly shot her head forward so that she could kiss him, her mouth wide open as she eagerly pressed her face against his._

_Contact. Simply blissful. Kissing Shepard was a sensation indescribable, from his warm breath shooting from his nostrils onto her, to his equally desperate mouth trying to match her ferocity. The two hungered for one another, to fill the chasm that had formed, jagged, from their time spent physically apart._

_Lips and tongues intermingled and Tali's whimpers of need sounded quietly as her legs wrapped around the human's body. It was not like it had been a long time since they had last shared a kiss or even their bodies, but it was the notion that she had to be sealed away from him for indefinite periods of time while her immune system recovered that drove her crazy with lust. All of these pent-up sensations were dangerous if it they were bottled in for too long, resulting in outbursts like this one. Now that Tali knew what she was missing from simply the act of trailing a hand across her face, replicating the act had always occupied a part of her mind ever since she decided to give herself to Shepard. In that time, she just did not think that it was fair to Shepard that she had to be locked away from his touch while she could have all the access to his skin that she desired – despite her hands being gloved most of the time._

_No matter. At least she could even the odds tonight._

_Still making out, Shepard held Tali in his arms and departed the lift into his cabin. He stole down the steps, still carrying his new bride, and gently deposited her onto the bed. Tali made a gasp of desire as she hit the soft surface, her face absolutely ravenous. Shepard saw her desperate look and a stupid grin spread across his face. He reached up to unbutton his jacket, his fingers working agonizingly slow. Tali knew what he was doing, intentionally delaying to build up the passion, but she had reached her own boiling point; there would be no more waiting._

"_John…" Tali panted huskily, her face already flushed as she sat up. "Now."_

_Tali roughly grabbed at Shepard's jacket and ripped it open, snapping several buttons off in a golden flurry. Shepard looked surprised but his fumbling lips could not form the words to convey his astonishment. Instead, he got the message and hastened to remove his tank-top and pants while Tali worked to properly get out of her enviro-suit._

_Soon, Shepard was completely nude before her, but he still was able to control his own desires despite the ache that was beginning to grow in his nether regions. He sat down and, unlike Tali, delicately helped his wife extricate herself from portions of her suit, taking greater care with her coverings than she had with his. After a few minutes, the both of them had yanked the enviro-suit down to Tali's waist, and Shepard gave a greedy tug at her boots, causing the suit to slip off of the quarian to leave her naked on the bed._

_Tali's entire body was well-built; her gray skin was taut and slim, smooth and flawless from being sealed inside an enviro-suit for so long. Tali crossed a leg over the other, showing off her thick calves. Her abdomen was knotted with chiseled muscle and her chest was perfectly proportionate to her waist. Her dark hair splayed out on the bed, already getting tangled and her white eyes glowed with passion. Her cute toes wiggled, free from their boots, and her hands reached out into the air like she was reaching for the world to submerge itself around her._

_The very feeling of shyness lasted all of nanoseconds from the realization that she was lying here, naked, with her husband. She gave a ravenous grin and parted her legs, a thick moan escaping her lips as she pleaded for Shepard to join with her._

_She did not have to wait very long and Tali soon became overjoyed when Shepard slid up to meet her. The hunger of both individuals left them wanting to cease their fast, to end the period of starvation that had been set since the two had felt the other like this last. The two held each other as they began their own private ritual, starting with acclimating to the other through the exploration of fingers against skin. Rubbing, tickling, thrusting, aching. Minutes slipped away as skin pressed against skin, pink against gray, and the lovers moaned, panted, grunted, and sighed through their kisses and quick intakes of breath._

_Right away, Tali could tell that something was different. This was not like the other times they had mated as a couple. There was an intensity in the air, a feeling so palpable that it could almost be touched. It sank around her like a thick liquid, making her dizzy with love._

_That was what it was, she realized. Love. It was the sensation of being with one that she cared so deeply about, to the point where she had vowed to remain with him for the rest of her life, and had now embarked upon the consummation of their vows right here on this bed. It was the act between a man and his wife, one that they alone could share privately, that created this sensation. She did not care that the human - an alien - had a different skin color, that his waist was wider than hers, had too many fingers and toes, and that his legs were in the wrong shape. Human, alien, husband, all were mere words to her. It was the person inside she wanted, the individual who had always treated her with kindness and compassion since the day they met.  
_

_Keelah, how she loved this man._

_The night seemed to go on for hours. Both human and quarian moved as one, joined as a true pair, and their fingers tangled themselves against the other, clutching to the tempo of their lovemaking. Tali cried out several times, holding her husband tightly against her each time she came, her fingernails digging into the skin of his back. It was this very skin that she cherished; the one that held the man within. Basking in her afterglows, she nipped at the skin, licked at it, soaked up every millimeter that was afforded to her and Shepard imparted the same sensations upon her, making her very flesh smolder from his lustful touch. When he occasionally sucked at her neck, Tali would feel a tingle radiate upwards from the base of her spine, causing her back to arch as she would almost lose control of herself from the erotic ministrations. Making love had never felt so good before._

_The two exchanged the element of control to the other a few times upon the bed. Shepard set the pace most of the time but it would be Tali who would claim the honor of ending things for the time being. She moved up and down upon Shepard as he lay underneath her, his hands slowly sliding up from her waist to lovingly grope at her breasts. Tali moaned again and watched the expression of her lover grimace as his body teetered on the edge of control, completely surrendered to his wife's whim. She loved this part, knowing that she was in charge of the human's status, that she could send him to whatever paradise he envisioned with a bout of sensual gasps and thrusts upon him. Here, Shepard could hand his very essence of being onto Tali, and she could give a part of herself back to fill in the gap left behind._

_A similar change was occurring in Tali at this time and she threw her head back and loudly mewled, writhing upon her husband. The couple's sweat stained skin slid over the other's as they frantically increased their pace, low moans coming from Tali and guttural grunts from Shepard. His hands firmly grasped her hip bones and she moved them back up to her breasts instead, his fingers slipping upon her perspiration. They gasped and moved in tandem, their bodies approaching the brink of clarity. _

"_Tali…" Shepard choked out, his contorted face almost looking pained. "I…I…"_

"_J-John…" she gasped, right before her orgasm hit._

_Both human and quarian cried out, their backs similarly arching as they spasmed together, their toes curling helplessly. Their consciousness' elevated to a plane far above the physical world, where they floated as one, draped in ecstasy. Husband and wife fell back down together, their sweat intermingling as they rested against the bed, her atop him. Breathing heavily through their noses, they looked intently into the other eyes, her milky white irises against his deep blue pools, and dove into their hunger once again. Shepard's hands smoothed across Tali's filmy back as they kissed intensely, their eyes lidded with passion. Their tongues delicately poked into the other's mouth, drawing the taste of their partner forth._

_With a low groan, Shepard rolled onto his side after losing himself once again to the aloofness of time, Tali with him, and their lips finally parted so that they could closely examine each other's facial expressions. Shepard placed a calloused hand on Tali's cheek, and Tali mimicked his movements._

"_My wife…" Shepard uttered, a tear beginning to form in the corner of his eye. "My beautiful wife…"_

_Tali made a noise that sounded like a combination between a laugh and a sob. She kissed Shepard's hand tenderly. "My husband…" she whispered. "My wonderful husband…"_

_They pressed their lips together again gently, the sensation soft and pleasant._

"_I love you, Tali," Shepard whispered as he rubbed his hands along the quarian's arms. "I just want you to know that."_

"_I know," Tali breathed, tears in her eyes from pure happiness. "I will always know because I love you too. I love you so much."_

"_Now I'll never be apart from you again," the human grinned as he pressed his forehead to Tali's. "We're married. God, I still can't believe it. We're actually married."_

"_It's like I'm in a dream," Tali agreed as she pressed the side of her head flat against Shepard's chest, her fingers walking around the human's navel. "I'm afraid that I'm going to wake up and that none of this ever happened. That I never got to marry you, John, my best friend and my one love."_

"_This is no dream," came the assured voice. "This is real. I am real. You are real. You are a Shepard now, and nothing will ever change that."_

"_A Shepard…" Tali mused, trying the word on her tongue as if she had heard it for the first time. "Tali'Shepard. I like it. Tali'Shepard vas Normandy. It's got a nice, noble ring to it." She bit her lip in thought. "John, I've never thought of this until now, but what do you think your mother is going to think of us being married? You've spoken of her before but I still don't really know that much about her. Do you think that she'll…like me?"_

"_Of course she will, Tali. My mother has never been a prejudiced person, at least from what I can remember. When we meet her together, I assure you that she will welcome you as her own daughter and will also love you dearly. She's a very caring and thoughtful woman and I know that you'll love her too."_

"_Like a daughter…" Tali murmured giddily. "It's like I'm getting a perfect family like I've always wanted."_

"_A perfect family," Shepard mused. "That's going to be something to get used to when I muster out of the military. I've never really thought about life away from the Alliance, to be honest." _

_Tali kissed the tip of Shepard's nose in reply. "We have time to adjust, my love. Once this stupid war is over, we deserve the right to live our lives the way we make them to be, everyone else be damned."_

"_You mean we can do stuff like sleeping through breakfast, getting drunk, and having sex all day? That sounds like a perfect day to me."_

"_You intolerable bosh'tet, no!" Tali laughed and playfully smacked Shepard's arm. "But…the sex part does sound rather nice, actually," she admitted with a blush._

"_One out of three ain't bad, I guess," Shepard chuckled as he bent his head to nibble at Tali's breast, part impishly, part seriously. She yelped in delight but pushed Shepard away so that she could kiss him herself, figuring that she had to occupy the human's mouth somehow lest it would move on to other things and they would use up all of their time copulating rather than getting valuable sleep time with a battle on the horizon._

"_What I meant was," Tali said after she broke the kiss, "we can give up our duties to our people and start living for each other, as we've both sacrificed enough. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want."_

"_I'm all for that," Shepard smiled. "But think that our time in the beginning is going to be spend doing more of…_this_, rather than anything substantial." He gestured at their nude bodies for emphasis._

"_That's fine," Tali retorted with a playful arc of her eyebrow. "I can live with that. As long as you don't get yourself killed again, everything will be all right."_

"_O ye of little faith," Shepard gave a mock scowl. "I only died one time. One time."_

"_That's still one time too many."_

"_Really? Damn," Shepard now scratched his head as his face stiffened in feigned thought. "Then I guess I'd better not do it again."_

"_You'd better not," Tali growled, somewhat in amusement. "Your wife will kill you otherwise."_

"_My wife. The scourge of the corporeal world. God help me if I happen to anger her now that I'm married to her."_

"_Pray to your deities all you want. They will not save you from my wrath!" Tali exclaimed as she mischievously pounced upon Shepard, wrapping her arms around the human as she gave him a big, wet kiss to the cheek. Shepard gave a laugh and took her up on the challenge, rolling her over and pinning her down on the bed. He lowered his head and devilishly licked at her ridged earlobe, causing her body to writhe as his tongue tickled her._

_On reflex, one of Tali's knees came up and sank into Shepard's stomach. Wheezing, he toppled over and Tali was there to immobilize him in his place, the tables thoroughly turned._

"_I win," Tali proudly proclaimed as she sat on him._

"_Cheater," Shepard coughed from underneath the naked quarian. "You knocked the wind out of me."_

"_Oh, I didn't know that we established any rules beforehand," Tali's hand came up to her mouth in a snarky maneuver. "I do hope you didn't just let me win, though."_

"_What? Noooo. How could you think that I would let my best friend and wife win such an important bout?"_

_Tali rolled her eyes and climbed off of Shepard. "Wimp. Next time, I'm expecting my war hero of a husband to put up a longer fight. This was just too easy."_

_Shepard snorted but did not make a snappy comment back. After enduring another mock slap from Tali, the both of them slid underneath the covers and began cuddling, all without saying anything. Their gazes locked and the newly married couple had a thought pop between them. Once that thought came up, there was nothing any of them could do to halt the inevitable._

"_A longer fight, eh?" Shepard grinned as he rolled Tali onto him, causing her to squeal with laughter. "That sounded like a challenge, one that would reflect badly upon me if I refuse."_

"_Oh no you d-…" Tali muttered before her face lit up and she shuddered as Shepard slipped a hand between her legs. "Oh…Keelah."_

_Half an hour later and after much thrashing, moaning, and sensual cries, the two collapsed into the bed, once again panting and completely coated in sweat. The sheets were bunched below their waists and Tali pulled them up to her neck, already feeling cold from the slight draft in the room caused by the air recyclers. _

_Shepard leaned over and provided Tali with the yet another one of the myriad kisses for the night, his tongue parting her lips to meet with hers, making a few quick thrusts into her mouth before he pulled back with a sheepish grin, his brow shining._

"_Having you out of your suit is going to be dangerous when we've got nothing to do," Shepard laughed, clearly energized from his second round of mating. "You're so beautiful that I can't think straight around you."_

"_Don't you humans ever _sleep_?" Tali groaned theatrically, her legs immobile and her body still radiating. She still appreciated the praise, though. "That is what you should be doing now. We've got a big day tomorrow, remember? I'm never going to live down you dying because you were exhausted from having sex with me the night before, you know."_

"_If anything, the promise of doing this again will just motivate me even more."_

"_You're insufferable."_

"_Does that mean I should not compliment you ever again?"_

"_Afraid not," Tali shrugged, but kissed Shepard again regardless. "Actually, yes, but you know what I mean."_

_Shepard laughed as he trailed his fingers down the back of Tali's neck, causing a shiver to jolt down her spine. "I love it when you agree with me. Surely I can't tempt you for one more round?"_

"_Go to sleep, idiot," an exasperated Tali said as she whiffed Shepard's head with her pillow._

* * *

Present

Garrus grimaced as he held Tali's wrist down on the table. The hard surface was sticky with blood, but at least the source of which had only been sporadically trickling for the last ten minutes. The quarian jolted each time he dabbed delicately at her wound with a dollop of medi-gel upon his finger. He smeared the salve over what remained of Tali's little finger, causing her to yelp with pain as a sensation of a thousand biting ants seemed to crawl through her wound and burn her from the inside out.

Tali gritted her teeth as the medi-gel did its work, but it was still painful to have anything set upon the shortened finger. She pounded her free hand upon the table and clenched her jaw so tightly she thought she would tear a muscle. But as soon as the pain flared up, it subsided, leaving a throb that slowly began to die down like embers from a fire.

"There," Garrus gasped as he reached underneath the desk. "It's over, Tali."

"_Rrrgh_," Tali growled as she clutched her wrist while a thick mass of scar tissue, sensitive and raw, covered her wound. "Still hurts, though."

"I know," Garrus said gently as he produced a soldering tool. He helped Tali fold the layers of the breached enviro-suit around the healing digit and used the tool to melt the layers of the suit together, molding it to fit Tali's new hand configuration and creating a firm seal. "You going to be all right?"

"I don't know," Tali admitted blankly as she began to dab at her hand with a rag, wiping away the blood that clung to the suit. "The omni-foam layer managed to create a seal at the tear site, but I was exposed to the air and the water of the world for a good while. I've upped my antibiotic dosage just in case, but I shouldn't think that this is going to kill me." _It will put me down for a bit if I'm not careful, though._

She flexed her hand for emphasis, now thoroughly scoured clean. She looked at her now more diminutive little finger, somehow still imagining that she could _feel_ it extend from the stump like it had never been shot off. As soon as she visualized it, a sharp throb came from her wound and she winced. _Phantom pain_, she recalled. An effect of damaged nerves short-circuiting when electrical signals were sent to parts of the body that were no longer there. A pain that was only imaginary if she continued to dwell on it further.

Like such a thing was possible for her. What about the pain of being separated from Shepard? _That_ hurt much more than losing a limb. How could she not think about such things that brought agony to her?

A quick glance out the cockpit viewport told her that, yes, they were still safely in the passage of FTL, finally exiting this system to head out towards their destiny. Five more hours travel and she would be able to walk out of this shuttle to uncover the next piece of the ever-growing puzzle.

Almost absentmindedly, Tali reached up and yanked the long, flowing gray hood that she had worn for the past few days off her head, throwing it to the floor with finality. No longer wanting to become a stranger in the crowd, Tali kicked open a nearby footlocker and extricated her very own purple hood and began placing it back over her helmet. It was tricky trying to reattach the frayed fabric with one less finger, but her new impediment did not delay her that much and within a few minutes, she had replaced the hood. Now she looked like her old self again and settled into the comfort of the image she always held in her mind's eye.

It took Tali a bit after she had adjusted her hood to realize that Garrus was staring at her intently, his eyes firmly concentrated upon her. She blinked, wondering what had got the turian all worried.

"What is it?" she asked.

Garrus sighed and made a gesture towards Tali's maimed hand. "It's just…" he managed before he huffed again. "Are you sure you still want to do this?"

"_Yes_," Tali answered matter-of-factly as she clutched her hand to her chest protectively. "What, you think that because I got injured I would suddenly lose heart in finding my husband? Really, Garrus, why would you ever _think_ that?"

"Look," Garrus defended, "I'm not saying that you should give up, Tali. Hell, I promised you that I would help you until the end, but I just want to know if you're aware of every possible outcome. I mean, what good is trying to find Shepard if you end up dying along the way?"

"I'm _not_ going to die," Tali said hotly. "Not without seeing him first. This was a wake-up call, yes, but I will _never_ consider backing out now. I would rather die trying than die having given up. Is that what you would rather me do, Garrus?"

Garrus gulped, caught in Tali's furious stare. "N-No, Tali. I don't ever want you to give up. I don't want to give up either. What I do want is for you to be safe so that all of this has not been for nothing. It would…it would kill me if anything happened to you, or to Shepard."

"_This_ was an accident," Tali growled as she indicated her shortened finger. "I will make sure that another one will never happen to me again. We've gotten closer to John than anyone has before. We can't turn back, not now. H-He would expect me to continue…like he would if I were in his position."

_When the time came, he didn't hesitate. I must do the same. I will not falter. I cannot be stopped now._

_You're mine, John. You will always be mine._

* * *

Planet Tyr

There had been a scuffle here.

Even to someone who knew nothing about tracking, the scuff marks and clumped sand upon the pristine white beach were so jarring compared to the relative surroundings that the implications were practically screaming themselves to a trained soldier like Nitherius. He did not even need to crouch down and appraise the footprints and drag lines etched into the grit, the source of which lay camped near the side of a cliff, draped in shadow from the hidden sun.

Moving in the direction of the shuttle, Nitherius ignored the sounds of the tide as he approached the foot of the ramp. The craft's undercarriage was scorched from reentry, but what was initially curious was a toolset lying about near one of the main thrusters. Nitherius trudged over and nudged some of the tools with his foot before he spied an open panel. He took a brief glance into the panel on the thruster and spotted that several of the coolant tubes were slashed and cracked, with most of the wiring ripped out in some places. This was no accident resulting from a burst pipe or the like, this looked like sabotage to Nitherius. The shuttle was probably not spaceworthy, not with this kind of damage sustained in such a remote area.

_Vakarian. It has to be. Either that or Zorah, perhaps? They damaged the craft to prevent anyone following them, most likely._

Inside, the craft was dark and deserted, only a few blinking lights shining from the control panel. Nitherius stalked over and appraised the craft's worthiness with a few taps on the holographic keys. As expected, nothing resulted from his inputs on the keyboard. The craft was running on auxiliary power and even that was low, the batteries almost drained. Nothing on this craft appeared to be in order, and even the whereabouts of the shuttle's inhabitants was still a mystery.

There was not a lot of space to hide in the craft, but the sight of a closed door in the corner of the hold grabbed Nitherius' attention. If anyone was here at all, that seemed to be the most obvious place to look. He pushed aside a chair and walked up to the threshold, withdrawing his pistol for safety before he unlocked the door and yanked the metal covering wide open with his prosthetic arm.

Nitherius' eyes dropped down to the figure lying on the cot, his gun following. He lowered it as soon as the suited quarian raised his head sleepily. "_You're_ not Zorah," Nitherius said blankly.

"What gave that away?" Paav replied sarcastically as he sat up, rubbing his head. "I take it you're the rescue party, then. Drawn from my beacon, I suppose?"

"Sensors on my ship picked up the echo, yeah, but that's not important right now. Who are you? Where are Vakarian and Zorah?"

"Vakarian?" Paav groaned. "That son of a bitch was the one who knocked me out and locked me in here. Ostensibly he found me the same way you did, but he got to me first and took off with Tali'Shepard."

Nitherius blinked. "Tali…_Shepard?_"

"Yeah, she gets rather defensive if you don't call her by her correct clan name now. It winds her up like you wouldn't believe."

"Then…that means that her and Shepard-"

"-Married each other during the war," Paav finished. "Yeah, it came as a shock to me as well. That's probably why…wait, why am I even discussing this with you in the first place? I don't even know your name and- hold on…"

"What?" Nitherius murmured, starting to feel uneasy.

Something clicked in Paav's head and he sprang to his feet. "You! I thought that white armor looked familiar! You're the bastard on the Citadel that knocked me down and stole my tracking software!"

_Oh crap_. Nitherius was dumbstruck as he too recognized Paav's black and gold enviro-suit just a tad late for it to give him any sort of mental advantage. He felt humiliated that he was recognized this way and more than a little concerned that a person that he had previously assumed was a pushover had proven to beat him to the punch concerning his quarry.

"Now look," Nitherius said calmly as he made a show of holstering his weapon. A safe gesture, as Paav was not armed, but the act helped even the playing field. "What transpired on the Citadel was only a necessity, as my orders mandated that I apprehend the fugitives Garrus Vakarian and Tali'Zor - er, _Shepard_ – by any means necessary. That, in turn, precluded my aggressive behavior in soliciting with force-"

"Keelah, you talk like an Admiralty Board member," Paav groaned out loud. "Always hastening to explain an action through legal precedents and jargon. What are you, turian military police?"

"Close. I'm a colonel in the military, but I'm also a Spectre." Nitherius' ego never failed inflate from throwing his titles around to people who recognized authority, despite his inclination towards modesty.

"Great," Paav sighed. "So that pretty much makes your hostile actions against me legal in the eyes of the Council. I hope you know that if I manage to get my hands on Tali again, I have enough clout with the Board to press against the Council concerning your actions and I-"

Nitherius' face grew harder until he could no longer take it anymore. This quarian was well versed with legal procedures and not at all stupid, unluckily for him.

"The Council is not aware of my involvement in this matter," Nitherius interrupted. "And I would hope for it to stay that way until this is all sorted out."

"The feeling is mutual as it would give me a lot less to think about, but if you're going to continue your vendetta with Tali'Shepard in the crosshairs, I'm going to oppose you every step of the way. She's _my_ prey, not yours, Spectre."

"You can _have_ Tali'Shepard," Nitherius allowed with a low growl. "My orders no longer concern her ever since the leadership had verified that the Flotilla had taken action against her, which I'm assuming that you are the "action" that my superiors referred to. My quarrel now lies with Vakarian and no one else."

"That's comforting to hear," Paav snorted, "but I hope you'll forgive me for not being completely assuaged by that."

"Such gratitude towards someone who released you from confinement. If that's the way this discussion is going to proceed then I wager that we no longer have anything else of relevance to share."

Nitherius gave a final huff through his nostrils and turned to leave, making it halfway down the ramp before Paav called out after him, "Do you even know where you're going to go next?"

The turian halted and turned around, looking at the smug quarian who had his arms crossed around his chest. "I've been following Vakarian this far. I can find him again."

"I'm sure," Paav shrugged. "But he's just departed from a system that resides on the edge of civilized space. The records at the nearest spaceport of his origin and destination will most likely not be filed."

"State your point. I'm growing impatient."

"I _know_ where Tali and Vakarian are headed, and my ship has been disabled. Conveniently, you happen to have a vessel that is spaceworthy. I think you can see where this is going."

"You're asking to join me in hunting them down?"

Paav nodded, obviously pleased with himself. "It will be advantageous for the both of us. You want Vakarian, I want Tali. Together we can obtain our own targets and part ways once the job is done."

Nitherius was still skeptical, wary of the crafty quarian. The two soldier stared each other down, neither one offering any visual chinks in their armor as they stood their ground. "And what can you offer me that will make me reconsider leaving you here to walk to the nearest settlement?"

"Simple," Paav said as he walked down the ramp so that he was at eye level to Nitherius, their faces inches away from the other. "I know where they're headed next."

Nitherius gave a dry chuckle. "And you would happen to know this…how?"

"You've never been around Tali long enough to know that she talks in her sleep."

Never had Nitherius' face fallen so quickly. Whatever curiosity had been formed, quick exasperation replaced it. "You want me to let you come with…just because you heard a phrase that randomly mumbled out of someone's mouth while they were sleeping?!"

"It was as clear as the day itself," Paav defended, glancing upward for emphasis. "And you have no other leads. The woman is in a fragile state. She's wounded and desperate; she's certainly not going to utilize any finesse in whatever objectives she has in mind, rendering her even more dangerous to the both of us. Now that Vakarian is with her again, she's going to be even more defensive with her friends that she has left. You can either take your chances alone or we can both work together in achieving our goals. What do you say?"

The anger stilled the air around the two. Nitherius radiated heat as he visibly fumed, clearly uncomfortable at the prospect of soliciting help. Paav's own frustration was cold, buried deep within that propelled him forth; memories of previous humiliations stewing as he crammed all of his hurt and rage down so that no one could find it.

"Fine," Nitherius grumbled after the moment had passed. "You may come with me. But," he raised a hand, "if I even get the notion that you're going to betray me, I will not hesitate in killing you where you stand. Do we have a deal on that?"

"We do," the quarian said before he straightened. "Then allow me to properly introduce myself. I'm Commander Paav'Inera vas Rannoch."

"Colonel Verdis Nitherius," the turian answered warily. He was still not completely convinced of the quarian's altruism, but he had little choice in the matter. Sacrifices had to be made and if this paid off in the end, maybe he could use this partnership to his advantage. "So…Commander Inera, where are we headed to next?"

* * *

Omega

Placed squarely in the middle of an expansive crossroads, the club Afterlife announced its presence in neon pink lettering complete with holographic flames licking upwards at the front of the establishment, a beacon in the midst of a decaying wasteland. It was the most popular place on the mined out hulk of a station and the unofficial lair of Aria T'Loak, the self-proclaimed "Queen of Omega."

Afterlife advertised as purely the most luxurious enterprise in the entire nebula, but that was not saying much, considering the fact that the Omega Nebula was comparatively poor in terms of wealth. Afterlife boasted several dance floors and a few bars that catered to just about every species in the galaxy in terms of alcohol. Patrons could relax and enjoy stimulating music or enhance their senses even more from the designer drugs that were provided from behind the counter. People danced and slithered in a daze at this place, time wiping by as they lost themselves to the pulsating rhythm and substances rushing through their blood, the heart of the station where Aria was always watching.

Despite being hit hard during the war when Cerberus had previously occupied it for half a year, the cleanup that had transpired on Omega was impressive enough that it seemed that nothing was out of order when Tali and Garrus arrived. That, or the station was filthy enough that a little extra scuff marks from propellant and ichor made little difference to the diseased slums.

Stepping over a particularly wide burn scar upon the floor, Tali made straight away for the door adorned from the faux flames and the bubbling text, Garrus still struggling to catch up with her. They stormed past the long queue that lined around the block, comprised of irate individuals ranched in by an impassive elcor. They were feet away from the entrance before a pair of batarian bouncers stepped in their way, their hands perched menacingly on their sidearms.

"You are not allowed," the first batarian said.

"Wait in line like everyone else," the other rumbled.

Tali stopped to a halt, just shy of the last step upwards. She slowly tilted her head, resentful of the fact that the batarians seemingly towered over her.

"Let me in," she said, her voice barely trembling.

"Why?" one of the bouncers laughed as he finally drew his gun to have it dangle at his side. "What makes you so special that we would automatically grant you entrance to Afterlife?"

"I have to see Aria," Tali responded, her lips now feeling numb for some reason. There was the faintest of notions that, seeing how closer the inclination of violence was imparting itself onto the bouncers, she should just draw her own weapon and start opening up upon the guards. She felt she could take them, at least until the entrance whereupon she had no idea of what to expect once in the club. Shepard had visited this place a few times, yet she never had the opportunity to. If Aria had let Shepard in before, then by extension, the asari should make an exception for her too!

It was not like she wanted to be here to begin with. Even in her suit she still felt like she was getting filthier the more she lingered in this place, from the toxic air to the grimy floors. The batarians dangling the promise of an audience was getting to be the last straw, pushing her ever closer to just losing it completely.

The bouncers shared a bored look. "You're only the hundredth person today to claim to have to see Aria. She doesn't accept just anyone into her club, especially someone like you, _quarian_."

The callousness of the batarian's reply nearly sent Tali over the edge. She ascended the final step, not noticing Garrus fidgeting behind her, so that she could muster every single inch she could on the bouncers.

"Get – out – of – my – way," Tali hissed through clenched teeth. The batarians returned the growl only to smile cruelly as Garrus began to yank back on Tali's arm, pulling her away from the aggressive guards.

"It's not worth it," Garrus whispered to her. "We'll figure something out."

Tali hesitated in the turian's grip, unsure if she should yank her arm back or continue to bash her way through using her ham-fisted negotiation skills. With a sense of longing, she succumbed to Garrus' pull and backed down a step, her gaze still firmly fixated upon the smug bouncers.

"I _will_ be back," she promised, but more out of preserving her self-worth than anything else. The batarians laughed anyway as the two backed away, confident of their superiority.

Seeing as how neither Tali nor Garrus wished to place themselves in the ever-expanding line for the club, the two of them dejectedly walked out towards the marketplace, looking for a way to either pass the time or come up with a suitable plan.

Tali was fuming for a while, though, as she wandered from storefront to storefront, the utter failure of her attempt to enter Afterlife still ringing onto her. She was so incensed that she had completely tuned out Garrus' comments that were either intended to produce optimistic sensations or feelings of nostalgia from recounts of his time spent on this station under his vigilante alias "Archangel." She had no time for old war stories, nor for any optimism for that matter. She hated wasting time to begin with.

Eventually, she and Garrus parted to check out different establishments, leaving Tali to linger in a gun store all by herself. She was rather enamored with the intimidating looking weapons lining the far rack and the human salesman had noticed her lingering gazes and strode over to her to capitalize on his customer's fascination.

"Just got the new models in a week ago," the human gave a broad smile as he gestured at the machine guns behind him. "Impressive, no?"

"Very," Tali agreed but continued looking around. "You don't see many of those in Council space."

The human laughed. "Yeah, they're regulated heavily there, but they can be sold in the Terminus without any permits or background checks. You wanna buy some drugs?"

"I would…what?" Tali did a double-take, certain that she had heard incorrectly.

"Drugs. I also sell drugs. Perfectly legal here, you want some? Got dextro stuff that'll rock your freaking mind."

"Ummm, no?" Tali stammered and took a step back, caught off guard. "I'm fine right now. I don't really need any drugs."

"Ah well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

Tali wondered if she should just leave, feeling uncomfortable at being in such a dive, but she stuck it out nonetheless. She remained in the shop for ten more minutes and appraised every nook and cranny before heading back over to the counter to purchase some materials. She had formulated an idea in that time and looked cautiously over at Garrus, who was wandering around in the courtyard at this time. For a split second, she felt sorry for the turian, knowing that he was trying his best to protect her but Tali quashed that feeling down. Now was not a time for protection with precious seconds ticking away, which meant that she had to do things she would not normally do to achieve her desired goals, even if they made her sick to her stomach. Once she had purchased the materials she wanted (courtesy of her practically limitless funds) she joined the turian in the middle of the food court, a cardboard box now in her hands.

"I got us lunch," Garrus jerked a thumb back to a table in the middle of a courtyard. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," Tali lied as she walked over and pulled out a chair before she appraised what Garrus had bought her.

Sterile nutrient paste. How…appetizing.

Contrarily, Garrus had managed to procure a sizable meal for himself that actually looked not too bad in Tali's eyes. At least his food had _flavor_. All Tali had was a straw and an inhibited gag reflex that prohibited her from vomiting her tubed sludge back up. Damn it all, if only she was back on Rannoch, or her apartment even, Tali would be able to chew _real_ food in an environment that her immune system had already acclimated to. If she even so much as exposed a millimeter of skin here, she surmised that the griminess and oily air would immediately constrict her and cause her to drop dead instantly. Perhaps not a reaction quite that violent, she considered, but it would definitely be more serious than her brief exposure on Tyr.

Still, Tali slid the straw on top of the food tube into a slot in her helmet and began to suck, trying not to dwell upon the sour taste the nutrient paste left in her mouth. The two ate in silence, occasionally people-watching as they tried to find ways to pass the time and occupy their minds.

Garrus noticed Tali appraising someone off in the distance and turned around in his chair so that he could follow her gaze. He spent a few seconds trying to determine what it was she had been looking at before deciding that it was nothing important.

He looked back to find, to his concern, that Tali was sitting at the table, her palms flat, and the glow in her eyes a mere glaze as she stared off into space. She looked rather peaceful, odd considering that she had been ready to commit murder just an hour previously. Her stillness quickly made Garrus suspicious.

"What is it?" Garrus asked, trying to ease Tali into talking.

"Just thinking," was her response, albeit a delayed one.

"About what?"

Tali shrugged. "About what John and I will do once everything has calmed down."

Garrus held in a sigh as he took a large swig of his drink, oddly noting that it now had a sour and gritty flavor as it went down his throat. He must have left the fluid lying out in this foul atmosphere for too long.

"And what will you do, Tali?" he asked as he set his empty cup down. Garrus was not opposed for Tali to be thinking positive thoughts, but it was the quickness of the shift from how morose she had been that brought concern to him. Add to the fact that Garrus was not entirely sure if a happy ending could be gleaned from what had occurred over the past few days, but he was loath to tell Tali that directly.

"Oh," came her dreamy response, "I haven't really decided yet. I'm just hoping that we will get some peace and quiet at the very least. Once our house is built, of course."

"Yeah," Garrus fought to stay realistic. "But don't you think that you're going to have to smooth things over with your people beforehand? After all, they have been trying to arrest you since you left."

"_No_," Tali said firmly. "They'll finally see my point of view once they see John alive. They'll forgive me for all that I had to do."

Garrus coughed and wiped the back of his hand against his armor as his vision blurred for a second. "You seem…ah, pretty confident that everything is going to be all right."

"And why wouldn't it?"

"Because…" Garrus mumbled, holding his hands on the table to steady himself as his world unexpectedly tilted. _What the hell is happening to me?_ "…our past luck in dealing with governments hasn't exactly been stellar." Even his voice sounded weird, half a timbre lower and it felt like the words just dropped out from his limp jaw rather than being expelled out into open air.

Tali waved that off haphazardly, oblivious to the plight of her friend. "But they would not dare accost me any longer. Not with John around. They'll be _begging_ me for forgiveness after I save him. He was the one who gave them – us – Rannoch. Why would they harass the wife of the most important hero of the galaxy?"

Garrus felt a growling in the pit of his stomach and he gave a grunt, oddly noting that the colors of the background seemed to be sliding off like they were melting, combining into a syrupy mass of kaleidoscopic wonder.

"_And then…_" Tali continued, not appearing to notice Garrus' trembling, her voice too coming out distorted, slurred and deep, "_we can live in peace and quiet…_"

Garrus lifted his cup to his face but found that it was empty and he released it, sending it clattering on its side. He felt grimy in his armor, almost like his face was slowly sliding off of his head.

"…_no one to bother us_…"

His heartbeat was amplified tenfold, drumming so hard it felt like it could crack his breastplate. _Am I going insane?_

"…_just me, him…"_

Coughing from the gut, something fizzled deep within Garrus and he doubled over, his eyes clenched shut in pain. Vertigo came over him and he took several deep breaths but the sensation did not pass; the feeling of tumbling head over heels remained and Garrus hacked out a wet globule of spit onto the ground."

"…_and our_ family."

Lurching from the table, Garrus' hip hit the edge of the surface and nearly sent his platter of food spiraling to the ground. He managed to mumble something about searching for a restroom, not knowing if Tali made any sort of acknowledgement to the sort or not. He walked on wobbly legs, his sense of time only getting more and more distorted as he edged his way to the distant corner.

_It had to be something I ate_, was his thought. _I ate something bad and it's disagreeing with me._

Knocking the door open, Garrus blinked through his rapidly blurry eyes and stumbled around the bathroom, finally managing to find a stall that was unoccupied. He was too disoriented to even think about the cleanliness of the place (it was a bathroom in _Omega_ for crying out loud!) but whatever germs were present in his vicinity could be dealt with later.

Spluttering wetly, Garrus knelt down so that he was facing over a brushed aluminum bowl, foul water wafting upward towards him. He gagged, but that was what he came here to accomplish anyway. Wanting to end this before it could get any worse, Garrus swiftly stuck a finger down his throat, trying to reach the universal switch that all humanoid beings possessed that reversed the flow of his digestive system. He felt his finger nudge something slimy and damp, causing him to gag from the uncomfortable feeling, and he ducked his head as he hurled the contents of his stomach into the toilet with a sickening splash.

Garrus spat, trying to clear his mouth. There was an acidic taste upon his tongue, a very unpleasant flavor. He held his stomach weakly, breathing heavily while he flushed the toilet, sending the sick down into the dank depths of the plumbing. Garrus grimaced; it had been a long time since he had thrown up before, and he never thought that it would be from a little food poisoning. Hell, he had _lived_ on this very station for months and never once got sick from consuming something that could potentially be strenuous on his system. Maybe this was just his one bad break.

Spending a few minutes recovering while sprawled out on the grimy floor of the bathroom, Garrus finally struggled to rise, his stomach feeling like it had torn itself wide open inside him. He backed out of the stall and caught his reflection in the mirror, momentarily startled at the hideous sight.

He was a mess, plain and simple. His posture was meek and timid, his jaw was open in a slight pant, but the most distinguishing feature was that his right eye was completely bloodshot, a brilliant blue orb that coated his sclera and consumed his iris, the dilated dark spot of his pupil the only contrasting thing standing out. This was confusing, a simple case of food poisoning did not cause something like that to happen. Did he burst a blood vessel in his face from throwing up so violently or was this caused by something else?

By the time he staggered out of the restroom in his still-woozy state, fifteen minutes had passed, and the next immediate concern on Garrus' mind was the fact that the table where he had left Tali last was empty. Garrus whirled around, trying to see where the quarian had headed off to, but could find no sign of her existence in the vicinity. It also occurred to him that his current appearance, hunched over and lingering on death's door, was drawing a fair amount of glances in his direction, most likely curious looks at the umpteenth junkie that had the foul fortune to wander into this area.

Ignoring the stares of passerby, Garrus desperately tried to focus his vision as he made his way over to the table, whereupon his drinking cup and a little tinfoil package were the only items left remaining on it. He lifted the package up and tilted it, spilling a pinkish powder into his palm. _What the hell is this?_ A dreadful idea came to him and he looked at his upright glass suspiciously. What if there had been something in his drink that he had consumed that made him ill? Dread filling him, Garrus picked up the glass, plunging a finger into it and scraping it along the bottom. A gritty substance coated the surface, pinkish upon his hand. It would stand to reason that whatever had been in that tiny package had indeed been deposited into his drink.

_Did…did Tali do this? But why would she?_

Bewildered, Garrus examined the package again and turned it over on his side. There were no markings or logos to distinguish, just two words hurriedly scrawled onto it that Garrus instantly recognized as Tali's handwriting: "_I'M SORRY_." He read the words three times, certain that he was misunderstanding the quarian's intent. But no matter how hard he thought, he could not wrap his mind around Tali's motive.

"Son of a bitch," Garrus spat out as he crumpled the package into his fist. Where was that quarian? What did she put into his drink and why? Overwhelmed and still operating under the influence of whatever still lingered in his system, Garrus gave out a loud growl and staggered his way over to the nearest vendor for assistance, coincidentally the weapons storefront that Tali had been perusing last.

The human manning the counter boasted a jovial smile as he initially saw the fact that he was receiving another customer. "Hello there, friend! Might I interest you in…holy shit."

Garrus rammed himself unceremoniously against the side of the counter, his balance all shot to hell. The storeowner's face was now pale as he perceived the coughing turian leaning within his shop.

"Hey, uh…buddy?" the human tilted his head, trying to get Garrus' attention. "You need any help? Do you want me to notify a clinic 'cause you don't look very good."

"No," Garrus hacked as he struggled to even lift his head. "That won't be necessary."

"You sure? It looks to me like you've just overdosed on something pretty potent."

"Yeah, whatever this thing is," Garrus grunted as he smacked down the empty tinfoil package onto the counter. The human took one careful look at it and only became more aghast.

"Sir," the man spoke softly, "do you believe that you were the target of a date rape?"

"_What?!_" Garrus exclaimed, temporarily shocking him out of his drug-induced fantasy. "No! What the- what kind of question is that to ask?!"

"Well, it seems that you ingested an entire dosage of dextrolysergide judging from the package and coloration here – a popular drug for the club scene."

"Dextro…lyderbride?"

"Dextro_lysergide_. Also known as lysergic acid-D."

"Huh?"

"Dextro-LSD," the man clarified. "You still not want a medic to look at you? I've got some stuff that can counteract the effects of the drug, if you wish."

"N-No," Garrus rubbed at his arms, now feeling a bit clammy. He produced a credit chit and slammed it down on the counter. "But I will take that antidote, if you have it."

"Come to think of it," the man mused as he scanned the chit and took out a packaged syringe, "I just sold a package of that stuff to a quarian along with some other items. Could have sworn that I saw her with you over in the food court-"

"The quarian! Yes!" Garrus exclaimed and pointed his fingers at the human after he grabbed his purchase and winced as he quickly injected the contents into his neck. "Did you see where she went?"

"You want to _follow_ the same quarian that tried to date rape you?"

"She wasn't trying to date rape me!" Garrus clarified furiously as he threw away the empty syringe. "She was…ah, hell, I don't know what she wanted to do. Never mind about that, did you _see_ her?!"

"Yeah," the human shrugged nonchalantly and jerked a thumb. "She headed off in the direction of Afterlife. She bought the acid and several thermal clips off me and had previously reserved a gun before she picked it up from here not ten minutes ago."

"_Gun?_ What gun?"

"Why, that one, of course," the man pointed to the large advertisement that blared through the clear glass of the establishment.

Garrus craned his neck and he felt the alarm chemicals in his brain beginning to saturate his body, making him think that he was going to throw up all over again. He instantly knew the reputation that the projected advertisement touted. It was not a subtle piece of machinery by any stretch of the means – one that was completely not in line with someone of Tali's sensibilities. Knowing that just made everything worse.

_Of all the guns she could have chosen, why did it have to be that one?_

He felt faint, like he wanted nothing more to sit down and wait until his spell was done with, but urgent need frantically worked to override his drug-addled mind. With a pathetic grunt, he stepped back into the courtyard on shaky legs, his bloodshot eye frantically scanning for the nearest exit as panic bubbled under his collar.

Clubs, drugs, and now guns. What the hell was going on?! He had to find Tali before she did anything stupid. Somehow, he felt that he was already too late.

* * *

**A/N: Nothing is ever simple for these two, is it?**

**Right off the bat, I have to apologize for the delay in getting this chapter out. In case you were not aware, this site had been glitching heavily around the time of my last submission in which all of my stories were not registering any views. Therefore, until recently, I could not see if my story was being read or not so I decided to hold this chapter back until the error was fixed. Nonetheless, all of my views from that week are gone for good, so that sucks . Rest assured, I was not deliberately holding this chapter hostage to antagonize everyone, but as an author, I rely on views to determine just how popular this story is. To have that cut off from me is rather disheartening, despite people still having the ability to review the chapters (until that unrelated outage a few days ago). Authors rely on views to gauge interest and to consistently read "0 Views" for more than a week is frustrating, so I did not want to submit anything without my work seemingly not being read.**

**Again, I apologize for the delay, but as there is some good news, unless the website craps out again, there will never be another delay on my end as I now have an extra week to create and edit chapters as I please. (Unless I don't get caught up playing Metal Gear Solid V all the time, that is). Good thing too, I've got another unavoidable business trip coming up, this time to LA, and that'll be four whole days of me being rendered unable to write. Fortunately, the next chapter has been completed in the interim and will be submitted at the usual time next week.  
**

**Semi-Auto: Heh, you can still go to sleep, man. This story will still be here in the morning. (Great, I've been called evil in the past for tampering with emotions, making people cry, and now apparently interrupting sleep cycles. I just cannot win, can't I?)**

**rangerleadtheway: The list of obstacles Tali has to traverse gets smaller and smaller with each chapter. It won't be long now until the final stage, though, but that still does not mean that the road is going to get any easier.**


	15. Chapter 14: Hellraiser

Omega

The racking of the slide echoed in her mind as the first thermal clip was shoved into place. The gun made a _CA-CHUNK_ as the proper levers and slots clicked against one another, signifying readiness. The weapon almost seemed to hum in her hands, but she let the long barrel drop downward, finding it somewhat difficult to carry as she transferred the grip of the gun to just her right hand. It almost scraped along the ground as she carried it, now favoring her right side as all of the weight was placed upon it.

The long steps adorning Afterlife were just ahead, as were the same batarian bouncers guarding the doors. The queue had looked like it had doubled in size since she had last seen it, if such a thing could be possible. She made a quick glance to the side, an old habit to ascertain the situation, and ascended the stairs at an angle, approaching a collision course towards the doors that had proved to be her barrier one time. It would not hold up this time.

The batarians saw her coming again and shared exasperated looks before they switched from intimidating their clientele to walking towards the arriving figure with their sidearms out menacingly.

"I thought we told you to get lost, you quarian filth!" the nearest batarian shouted, but the person they were yelling out now did not give them the satisfaction of responding. Her body was positioned weirdly from their perspective; they could only see her left side from their angle.

"You deaf, bitch?" the second bouncer growled as he reached out to grab the quarian's shoulder, mere feet away. "We told you that-"

Abruptly, Tali turned and brought her right arm up. Her left hand moved around the wide frame of the M-76X Revenant machine gun to grip the manual reload slide housed underneath the long barrel. The batarians froze, each of their four eyes bugging out once they saw the enormous weapon pointed in their directions. Tali quickly shouldered the weapon but did not line it up with her head to look down the sights. Instead, she decided to trust in the general direction of which she was aiming and clenched her hand so tightly that it felt like she was about to dislocate a finger before the trigger finally depressed, filling the air with noise and a burning smell.

The recoil jackhammered Tali so hard that she almost lost control of the gun, biting into her shoulder with the force of repeated punches. She strengthened her initially weakened grip, difficult with one less finger on her left hand, and took a half-step back, but the damage had already been done. The torso of the nearest bouncer exploded in a slippery burst of blood and guts, having been riddled within seconds. Tali swept the machine gun towards the man's cohort after adjusting her aim and practically cut him in half from the white hot rounds, causing the two parts to slide down the shallow steps while making disgusting liquid sounds. Neither of the two had any chances to speak or cry out, completely flabbergasted that they had met such violent deaths so quickly from such a diminutive looking quarian. Their guns clattered away, having never been used at all.

As soon as the first shots were fired, screams erupted from the crowd that had originally been waiting with some semblance of patience to enter the club. The queue dissolved when the aspiring patrons decided to panic and flee in every direction, not fancying catching a bullet in lieu of a good time. The elcor bouncer was caught up in the flow and he became disoriented from the flock of distraught people, rendering him unable to maintain control of the situation. In the confusion, Tali stole up the last few steps and entered through the doors of Afterlife.

Inside, a hall looking just like what Tali imagined the gates of hell would constitute greeted her with a torrent of hot and wavy colors. The corridor was trapezoidal in shape, and the slanted walls continually projected a raging inferno on both sides, making it seem that Tali was walking through fire to reach the dreaded Afterlife. Thirty meters away, another door gleamed from the dim channel, the metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel.

But apparently Tali's antics outside had irked some of the patrons lounging within the foyer, and they began to make their presence apparent to her. From the unknown number of couches and chairs lining the corridor, a bunch of shadowy shapes stood from where they had previously been relaxing, the flashes from the flames briefly illuminating twisted and horrid faces, complete with snarling, gnashing teeth, and flecking spittle all directly aimed at her. Tali did not falter, gasp, or even flinch at the terrible sight of all the people in the room looking spitefully upon her. It was only when the hypnotic lights revealed for a split second the outline of pistols in the hands of everyone did hell truly reside in this place.

Tali did not hesitate with her reaction. She held the trigger down once more, now knowing how much pressure she needed to exert on the mechanism for the gun to properly fire. The audio dampeners in her helmet immediately kicked in with the noise of the gun having nowhere to dissipate in such an enclosed area, making the sound of the blasts loud enough to burst eardrums. The shadows and horrible outlines of the people looking to do her harm flinched and shook as bullet after bullet tore into their bodies. Some of them fell to the ground even if they were not hit, clutching their ears as blood popped from them in response to the noise. Tali methodically swept the gun from side to side, watching each and every foe shake and rattle as they entered their death throes, bleeding out from dozens of holes in their bodies, the exit wounds as big as fists from the bullets projecting their immense force as they traveled through flesh and bone.

There were screams. There were cries. Tali could hear none of them. She continually mowed down the group, holding down the trigger of the Revenant even seconds after the last aggressor had fallen. Once the thermal clip had finally allowed the set number of shots it could take, the temperature software in the gun detected the critical levels and automatically disconnected the bolt, throwing open the ejection slide to discharge the spent clip, allowing for a new clip to be reloaded into place.

It took her almost five seconds to realize that the gun had stopped firing; the lack of numbing recoil and bright flashes being a dead giveaway, as she had been so focused on killing the people within this room that she had not noticed much else around her. The barrel exuded smoke in fine wisps as did the spent clip when Tali forcibly racked the slide backwards, ejecting the clip for it to clatter and sizzle in a pool of dark liquid. She pushed her arm forward and the slide clacked into place once again, moving a fresh clip into place.

Interestingly, her shields were still at a hundred percent after this encounter. Tali realized that she had not been shot at, or had and her aggressors had simply missed. That was all too odd for her, surely someone could have easily taken her out when she was out of cover, but that opportunity had not been seized. She counted that as part of her good fortune, her justification for her actions in a sense.

Bodies strewed the floor in front of her. Puddles of fluid too dark to make out were beginning to spread across from where the corpses lay. The scope of the various hues of red and orange made the surrounding area too dim for her to differentiate the different types of blood splattered across the floor, turning it sticky. Tali made a point to shut down her olfactory filters, not wanting to take a whiff of that strong smell of iron. Even through her helmet, the stink would be enough to make her gag.

Her boots left stained footprints as she approached the final threshold. Aria was here, she could almost feel the energy that the pirate queen exuded. Victory in the past had made her lethargic. Lethargy made her predictable. Tali knew that the asari was in this next room, so it was now or never.

She flicked a secondary trigger and a concussive burst shot out from the tube underneath the main barrel. Her presence was surely known by now so it made sense to approach this as unpredictably as possible. The hard projectile smashed into the doors and burst them off their hinges, creating a small explosion of dust and light from the room beyond flooded the foyer. Frantic yells and noises sounded from the other side, but they barely managed to escape the sheer cacophony that awaited Tali in the main room of Afterlife and in her mind.

It was an amazing sight to Tali. The main area of Afterlife was tri-floored, with the different levels being able to look down upon the main attraction housed in the middle of the establishment. A tall, pink, cylindrical screen rose up from the depths of the bar to touch the ceiling, projecting different angles of the club's many dancers in a sickly hue. Surrounding it near the first floor was an O-shaped platform where many asari dancers danced seductively upon their poles, entertainment for the guests but ultimately lost on Tali. Red translucent tiles lined the floor upon which she stood, giving off the illusion that this place was very warm when in fact it was the opposite – her temperature levels noted that it was just south of a comfortable climate for her here.

The pounding beat of the music that pumped through the surround sound system shook Tali's very foundation. With every pulse that displaced the air, Tali felt that her organs were becoming subject to a beating from the intensity of the reverberations. It was not a pleasant sensation in the slightest.

Just like out in the hallway, as Tali stepped into the club, she could feel all eyes upon her. There were no friendly faces to make out, just scowls, grimaces, and clenched yells as the mercenaries that resided here all went for their weapons. Even the dancers seemed to be shying away, their faces remarkably set. Perhaps they were going to scrounge around for guns as well to defend against the intruder. It seemed that every single living soul here was edging toward her, daring her to make the first shot. The crowd moved in slow motion, despite the fast pace of the music. She could see individual droplets of sweat on the skin of the nearest humans, the detail in the face paint of turians, and the dust flaking off a chafing krogan as he lumbered to his feet, a nasty looking shotgun being made at the ready in his hands.

The multitude of patrons stared at her and Tali did her best to stare back. She felt that she could not keep track of everyone and felt herself began to shrink back, her breathing resorting to timid gasps. There was a chuckle that managed to penetrate the wall of sound to her left, and flashes of more guns came to her mind as she felt that she was growing weaker and weaker in the presence of all these people.

Something clicked in her head at the same time a safety made slight _snickt _sound off in the room somewhere. Now or never, apparently. Not wanting to catch the first burst, Tali quickly knelt down on a knee in the middle of the doorway and opened up with her weapon, not bothering to aim the machine gun properly, just enjoying the sight of the rounds scything through flesh and bone, creating eruptions of blood in the air as bodies popped like balloons. Flashes from the muzzle blinded her and she ran headlong for a nearby booth, hoping to use it as cover. The quarian whirled this way and that, trying to take into account her exposed flanks as she moved in the direction of the greatest carnage, having the notion that the greatest proportion of enemies in the vicinity was directly related to the closeness of the objective.

The habitués who had disengaged themselves from participating in the slaughter took their chances and ran out the exits at the front and back of the building. Tali and the remaining mercenaries ignored them for the moment; the quarian was continuing to advance up the club where she could see an overlook above the secondary entrance, ostensibly Aria's perch.

Two krogan bodyguards struggled to push past the scurrying mob, but even some of the random civilians seemed to be turning to fire upon the one gunman that had so thoroughly disturbed the peace. Tali did not care either way; she leveled the crowd in front of her, punching so many bullets into the krogan through the mob that they had no time to regen. They collapsed in puddles of their own gore.

A salarian mercenary dived for cover in the middle of a throng of panicking patrons. Everyone in the group was packing, but the direct threat was behind them, putting them directly between the warring sides. Tali dropped them all, watching with satisfaction that the salarian had misjudged her for not hesitating, the alien's body now twitching and headless. The group of people also fell, some dead, dying, or badly wounded. Tali moved past them, her reaction strangely unsympathetic.

Ejecting yet another spent clip, Tali took aim at the annoying cylindrical screen in the middle of the room after she had shunted the slide back into its original position. She opened fire, creating a cascade of sparks and plasma to rain down upon the dance floor. The dancers on the O-platform dived for cover, shrieking as they had no choice but to jump down two stories into the stage below. Several of the translucent floor tiles cracked as rigging from the ceiling collapsed upon after being stressed to the point of fracture. The metal floor creaked and rendered, denting as several rotating ceiling lights smashed upon them after being shot loose from the quarian in the room. Torn wires crackled, liquid dripped, and the familiar cry of guns blared freely.

Tali was now in a frenzy. She swung the large Revenant in all directions, her arms aching as she struggled to bring the recoiling weapon under control, the grip threatening to slip out of her five-and-a-half fingers. Smoking holes appeared in various gunmen around the various levels of the bar, limbs flew into the air, and the incessant wailing from people cowering in fear did not let up. A human with a knife sprang up from a nearby table and rushed Tali but she swiveled on the balls of her feet and blew the man's head off with a tri-burst at point-blank range. Brains showered the ground and Tali gasped as some of the cooked mush splattered onto her arms. She frantically wiped the larger chunks off.

She had reached the stairs to Aria's deck by this point; Afterlife had been cleared of people and whoever was left was either still in the process of fleeing or dying by the bodies of their comrades on the floor. Behind her lay the shambles of the stage and bar area. Spilled liquors sloshed all over the ground, the smell of hard alcohol mingling with the blood. Tali ascended the steps two at a time but recoiled when a batarian started to head down towards her from the summit. In panic, Tali depressed the machine gun's trigger and the man staggered, his knees shredded, and toppled down the steps with the crunch of bones breaking, ragged flesh flapping from his wounds. The batarian landed badly on one step and one of his ruined legs twisted and snapped completely off at the knee, held on by strands of skin and sinew. Tali ignored the screams as she took the final steps upward, her blood pounding in her ears.

A final turian bodyguard was now standing between her and the person casually lounging on top of a black leather couch on the balcony, facing her direction. Tali shot the gun hand off of the turian and whacked him with her gun as he fell to his knees in shock. He dropped, unconscious.

Now it was just the two of them, alone at last. Tali kept the muzzle of her gun aimed squarely at the forehead of Aria T'Loak, an asari whose skin appeared deep blue in the red light, but in reality was a smooth shade of intense purple. The pirate queen had several elegant tattoos on her face and wore a shiny leather outfit that had several slits, revealing contours of her body that very nearly toed the line in terms of raunchiness. Tali knew how dangerous this woman was, a mere wave of the asari's hand and biotic power would ripple out from it and send Tali flying through the air for her to be easily finished off. Yet, strangely, Aria did not attack. She merely folded her hands across her lap and gave a dissatisfied smirk.

"Well, _this_ is certainly interesting," Aria said. Her voice was sultry and smooth, and she spoke like she was receiving a package from a courier instead of addressing someone who had just trashed her place all to hell. She stared intently into the dark barrel of the Revenant and, if anything, smiled wider. "You don't know just how much trouble you have gotten yourself into, quarian. There is only one rule in Omega, and you just broke it. Do you happen to know what that is?"

"I do, and I don't care," Tali retorted as she reached behind her back, plucked a small device from her belt and tossed it in Aria's direction. The asari raised her hands instinctively and they were quickly surrounded by bright balls of light, arcing electricity between them. Aria's face turned sour as she tried to break free from the biotic-inhibitors, a little gift that Tali had previously snatched from Paav's equipment set. Essentially, the inhibitors acted as handcuffs but also made sure that no biotic energy could escape from the omni-field that surrounded the emitter points, in order to restrain prisoners with high biotic abilities. Tali walked forward and yanked at the collar of Aria's jacket, hauling the asari up right after she exchanged her machine gun for her heavy pistol. "Get up, Aria. We need to have a chat."

"Careful," Aria hissed as Tali pushed her towards the door right across from the raised platform. "This jacket cost more than anything you've ever paid for in your life combined."

"Doubtful," Tali said dryly. "I'm not like most quarians."

When the doors slid shut behind them, the lights flickered on, revealing a medium-sized lounge, free from the hubbub of the room beyond. Most likely a private room for Aria to seal herself away in case she got burned out from the constant crowds. Couches, tables, games, and beds cluttered the area, making it difficult to traverse. Tali gave Aria a push and she fell down on one of the nearby beds, clutching her cuffed hands close to her chest.

"What the fuck _is_ it with you?" Aria snarled. "No one since Cerberus has ever _dared_ to accost me in my own club, let alone shoot it up. What's your angle, little quarian? Clearly you were willing to kill to get to me, but I am still intrigued as to what business lies between us – noting your desperation."

"Shut up," Tali hissed as she held the pistol a foot away from Aria's forehead. Even cuffed, the asari still looked dangerous, and Tali willed herself not to be frightened. "I needed to gain your attention. Since I could not do so the normal way, I had to take drastic action to ensure that you would grant me an audience."

Aria's eyes flickered from the gun to Tali's glowing eyes behind her visor. Confusion registered for a second, then cold glee. "You're frightened, quarian."

"No, I'm not," Tali said hotly.

"Yes, you are. Your arms are shaking. Your voice is cracking. Tell me, did you ever think of the consequences of what trying to apprehend me will entail? For that matter, have you ever held a gun to someone's head and threatened them before?" Tali was silent at that and noticeably glanced at her arms, now beginning to doubt her resolve. Aria smirked and reclined back on the head of the bed. "Because _I_ have. I've done things that would turn your stomach. I've killed, maimed, tortured, and done other vile acts that would precipitate you into fleeing from merely hearing them out loud. I've _been_ threatened in the past and it has not gleaned as many results as you might think. But you have me curious, quarian. Why would someone like you come here? Is it revenge for someone I've killed? A grudge, perhaps? Come on, humor me, quarian. You certainly have my attention now and it would be a shame to waste this opportunity."

"You're not the one giving the orders around here, Aria. I am," Tali's voice was confident but her body language wavered as she began to look around the room, trying to see past the diagonal bronze struts and the various bits of comfort clutter strewn about the area. She had her omni-tool out by this point and she swept it across the area and jolted when a ping bounced back on her display. She frantically followed the direction of the source, heading in the direction of a foreign network. A pile of files and other boxes lay across one of the couches in the corner and Tali pushed them off, causing a stack of papers to splay across the ground.

Pressed down into the yielding surface, Tali reached out with fumbling fingers and grasped the handle of the laptop that had been previously buried underneath the mess. Tali turned the workstation over in her hands to look at the front and sighed as the scratched insignia of Cerberus stared back at her. This was what she had come for. Guess Petrovsky's hunch had been correct after all. Cradling it in her hands, Tali's breath shortened yet again as she pushed aside a chair and set the laptop down onto a desk, flicking the switches to lift the screen up.

The display was flickering in response to a low battery. Tali pulled out a cable and attached it to a nearby outlet, but that did not seem to solve the problem completely. The power levels were simply too unstable for the laptop to sustain itself. It looked like it would die within seconds. Tali quickly figured that the room was dispersing too much power to other parts of the room, so she remotely turned off the lights and the display quickly normalized and began a proper boot-up procedure. That seemed to work, if only temporarily. Now Tali had to make sure that she would not accidentally switch the lights on and she would be good with regards to her work.

Aria, at this point, looked livid as she saw what Tali had retrieved from the far corner. "Are you fucking _kidding_ me? You killed your way through dozens of people just to get that?"

"It was in your possession," Tali said tonelessly. "I needed it."

"And for what?! If you had just told me that you wanted Cerberus' equipment, I would have _given_ it to you for free!"

"So how was I supposed to know that?" Tali retorted as she spun around in her chair, now that a monochrome screen featuring the Cerberus logo and a line for a password had appeared. "I would have thought that you, Aria T'Loak, would use the Cerberus network to give your organization an edge by accessing its resource files or other cache locations. Why would you give up something potentially important just like that?"

"Why else do you figure? To get the stink of Petrovsky off of my station! He left all of this tech lying around Omega but my shit-for-brains associates have failed to access even one _kilobyte_ of data in whatever depths these servers hold. The firewalls are too sophisticated for them. You're welcome to take a crack at it, of course, but I don't know what you expect to find in there."

"That is not for you to know," Tali muttered as she began merging her network with the one the laptop was currently accessing. Nodes opened and closed in response to electrical signals, and Tali's program began eating away at the laptop's defenses. "My reasons are not for you to understand."

"You know you need to turn the display on for the laptop to work, you know."

"It _is_ on," Tali huffed, annoyed at the asari's stupidity as she gestured to the clearly working workstation. "Though knowing how to work one of these is probably beyond the scope of your abilities. I wouldn't expect you to understand."

Aria squinted at the screen in doubt and sat up slowly. "Who _are_ you, quarian? What is your fascination with Cerberus?"

"You stay back," Tali brandished her pistol at Aria again. "And stop asking me questions."

"Shy of the limelight, are we? No matter, the very instant you leave I will stop at nothing to track you down and make sure that you die a slow, agonizing death for humiliating me in my own territory. But still…for someone to be pushed to such extremes…this certainly warrants a look."

Tali had been looking at the different screens to determine how long her more intuitive program would be in ramming through the various Cerberus security measures that she had not noticed the gradual glow of electric blue begin to emanate behind her. Waves of energy wrapped around Aria's skull and her eyes began to burn brightly, a sinister sneer on her lips. Tali turned in her chair and faltered as the asari abruptly leaned forward, tendons sticking out in her neck.

_-Too late, bitch! Embrace eternity!-_

_N̪̖̠̕O̥̪͍̝̬͟NO̦N͎̳̭̹O̤̱̭I̴̩̝͈̦̱̲̪D̤͚͙ͅO͔̰Ṇ̱͓̥͖̘̦T̙͕̝͕́W̲̹͔A͖͈̩̬̼̺̲N̨T̯̠̟̙̯T͓̣̘̹͈O̦͔̝͉͘A͙͘A̴̫̣̰A̠A̭A̞̠̬̭̘A̙͚̥̗͟I̦̗̥̖͔͙̲I̥I͏̳̫̪̜̠̩̦I̛I̤̥͙E̵̯̯̪̹̭̤E̢̼̖̼̙ͅͅẸ̺̪̳̤̖͈͞E͍͈̳͡E̩̳̪̖͈͕̜͢E̫̕!̸̻̠͓̠͎!̼̲͖͠ͅ!̯̣̬͞ͅ!͉̘̜!̞̟̯̱̰͕͠!̫ _

Tali heard herself scream before there was a sucking sound and she found herself lost for breath. Her pupils dilated and she found herself shooting backwards, the feeling of air upon her giving her the sensation of freedom. Colors flapped by like curtains and she shut her eyes to rid herself of the blinding light that tried to pierce her head.

_She suddenly fell backwards upon the bed and moaned uncontrollably as her lower torso seemed to vibrate. The sensation was nice and erotic, an odd turn from the previous emotions she had just experienced. From the range of temperatures she was currently feeling, it occurred to her that she was naked upon cool sheets. How this had happened was beyond her, but she soon lost herself to the liberating notion of being outside her suit. _

_Pleasure unexpectedly set itself upon her and her hands reached up to gently squeeze her breasts, a reaction made automatically. Breath wafted on her stomach, tickling her and causing her to giggle. She tried to writhe in all directions, but a pair of large arms pinned her down as they lay folded across her firm abdomen._

_There was an intruding sensation between her legs, but a needed one nonetheless. Her thighs clenched in response to the stimuli, and they clamped hard upon an object perched precariously over her sex. Teasing herself by groping at her chest one final time, she finally mustered the energy to raise her head up a few inches, fighting not to surrender herself to the ecstasy that flowed upward. She smiled and began to trail her hands down from her chest, across her belly, and towards the head of the human that currently lay buried between her legs, bobbing up and down in a slow, practiced rhythm._

_In response to the six fingers caressing his scalp, Shepard glanced upward curiously, his tongue poking out from his mouth before he gave a warm smile in Tali's direction. She too tried to return the gesture but was still overwhelmed by the desire to feel his lips kiss her upon her weakness once again; her current expression was one of genuine need, and a low moan elicited throatily from her._

"_Please," Tali heard herself say._

_Shepard merely nodded and dove back in with delight. Tali clenched her teeth and arched her back, crying out from the wonderful ministrations. She bucked her groin against Shepard's face, pressing herself into him as if that could possibly accentuate the pleasure. She was so absorbed in her act of love that she almost did not notice the figure standing directly above her at the side of the bed. Tali, in between her panting, gradually looked upward past the shadowy outline, barely beginning to notice a familiar looking jacket only to find Aria standing overhead, triumphantly smirking at the sight of Shepard orally pleasuring his partner. Tali was too startled to feel the need to stop or cover herself up; she just stared and made only squeaks from her astonished mouth as she tried to make sense of the situation._

"_Surprise," Aria whispered evilly._

The resulting scream seemed like it had been the catalyst that broke the mind meld for Tali. Air flowed into her lungs and she released it with the loudest roar she had ever given in her life. As soon as the nude Tali on the bed jolted upward, the Tali on Omega sprung up from her chair in horror to grab Aria by the neck and hurl her onto the ground.

"_Bitch!_" Tali shrieked as she swung her pistol, clocking Aria directly on the forehead. The asari began to bleed freely, the wound already dripping an astonishing amount of blood onto the previously spotless jacket.

Aria reached up numbly to ascertain the damage, her palm coming away reddish-purple. "Touched a nerve, have I?" she giggled manically. "I thought you looked familiar to me. You're Shepard's _whore_…"

Tali howled and struck Aria with her pistol again. She lifted the asari back up so that she could clobber her again…and again…and again. By the time she had exhausted her arm whaling on the cuffed asari, Aria's face was dark from bruises and various cuts wept fluid down her previously flawless face.

"I…will kill…you…" Aria muttered, but Tali would have none of it.

"_Get up!_" she shouted and forcibly hauled the asari to her feet. Taking Aria in a firm grip by the neck, Tali pushed her over to the restroom to the side and slammed her against the far wall. "You had no right to see that!"

"Wrong…I had _every_ right. Everything on this station is mine. I…I am Omega…"

If Aria could see Tali's face, then perhaps she would have been slightly unnerved from the scowl that could have frozen a sun. Without gracing the pirate with another word, Tali slid the door shut between them and locked it so that Aria could not escape. And without the ability to force open surfaces with biotics, she was going to have no chance of getting out anytime soon.

The laptop, oblivious to the violence surrounding it, gave a tiny ding. A successful operation. Tali was puzzled; her cracking software had not been running that long and it had already bypassed the firewalls in place that apparently Aria's goons could not even get through over the course of a year? Based on the lines of code that she had glanced at, this computer was running a copy of a human operating system known as OR1, a system that she had been able to hack into several times in the past quite easily. Yet, the time it had taken to infiltrate the network was lower than any of her previous attempts. Her omni-tool had not been upgraded with a newer patch to OR1, so why would this time have gleaned results nearly five minutes ahead of the last time she had attempted a similar intrusion? This made no sense.

Yet the results were right in front of her face. The complete and unaltered Cerberus network, ready to accept her commands. Tali gave a victorious chuckle, her animosity momentarily forgotten, and began to scroll through the directories. She was confronted by such a dense amount of folders and random files that, even though they seemed to be meticulously collected, used such strange acronyms that made no sense to Tali. She slumped at the workstation, initially overwhelmed.

It then occurred to her that the best way to discover the information she was seeking, Shepard's location, was to initiate the most rudimentary of processes: a search. She opened the command prompt to the operating system and typed on the screen.

**[find / -name John Shepard –type f –print]**

That way, the search would run through all of the documents it currently had on hand pertaining to the long-lost human. She hit the execute key and a progress bar quickly sprang up, denoting that it would take a shade over seven minutes to search through the rich archives.

A banging on the bathroom door startled Tali; Aria was getting agitated from being confined. Tali chose to ignore her but shot the face of the door a disgusted glance nonetheless.

Tali gave a humph and looked back on the screen only to find that a holographic board had shot up between the physical display and her keyboard. A second screen, transparent in comparison to the physical one. Tali almost jumped out of her chair but banged the edge of the desk in anger instead as the Illusive Man sauntered into view onto the holographic screen, the distortion momentarily clearing to enhance his supposed "purity" with regards to his beliefs.

_Damn it! How does he keep finding me?_

"What do you want _now?_" Tali growled, but she was grinning despite herself.

The Illusive Man took a drag of his cigarette and gave a nonchalant shrug. "_I know what you're going through right now, Tali'Shepard,_" he said mildly. "_You think you've found the answer that you've been searching for this whole time, by using my own technology against me. Just like how it happened in the past._"

That explained why the Illusive Man was able to contact her so quickly. He must have noticed a new access point had opened up on Omega, far beyond the usual Cerberus networks and realized that it had been Tali performing the intrusion.

"You will never be able to hide from me again," Tali crowed anyway. "In mere minutes, I'll know where you and John are. You can't possibly run fast enough to get away from me. I've won."

The Illusive Man smirked. "_You haven't won. You're never going to win, quarian, just like I'm never going to win. We're destined to repeat this cycle of despair until one of us decides to give up playing our little game. I'm not keen on ending this anytime soon, to be honest. It provides me…much amusement, shall we say_. _Therefore, it will only end when you decree it so_."

"This will all end when I put a bullet through that smug face of yours," Tali pointed, noting how close the taskbar was to completion, the results simultaneously being copied onto her omni-tool. "_That_ will be my final declaration on the matter. I'm coming for John and you will not be able to stop me."

"_Then I will anticipate our final encounter together. I believe that the next time we speak, it will be face-to-face. I will finally be able to meet the person who defied belief just to get to me. Your resolve is impressive and I have to admit, I do admire someone with as strong of a will as yours, Tali'Shepard_."

"You can dispense with the complements. I personally think you're a coward and a disgrace to your race. I won't feel badly about killing you, if I have to be equally honest."

That drew a laugh from the eerie-looking human. "_Your bluntness is refreshing from all of the droning that the sycophants around me effuse. Therefore, I won't keep you from reaching your destiny any longer. But since we're both here, I'm going to keep to the promise I made you the last time we talked. There's someone here that wants to speak with you, someone that's been waiting a long time for this moment. Tali'Shepard, I present…_"

There was no flourish to the human's actions. The Illusive Man simply let the remainder of his sentence hang in the air as he reached toward the camera that was projecting his image trillions of light-years away and gave it a quarter turn. Tali lost the ability to produce a coherent thought as the image swung upon a subject that sat slumped at a desk. As the image refocused, a human came into view, but his hands looked to be restrained to the desk by omni-cuffs. His shorn hair glistened with sweat and he was shirtless. It soon became apparent to the new human that he was being watched and he lifted his head tenderly, a groan passing through his lips.

Tali's face shot to within an inch of the holographic screen, her visor nearly coming through it for her body was shaking so hard. The human was in a bad way, that much she could see. His torso was lined with cuts, some fresh, some old and faded – white scars upon him. Bruises turned his pale flesh purple at various places and there looked to be injection sites on his arms as well. But was most distressing to Tali was the man's face. It too was cut up and bruised, the features once good looking, but it was the notion that behind the blackened eyes, behind the dried blood that crusted the man's lips, behind the tired expression was the man she had been searching for all this time.

There was no question about it. This was Commander John Shepard. Her husband.

A sob echoed in Tali's helmet, but Shepard's head perked up at the noise. "_T-Tali?_" he coughed, his eyes squinting. "_Is…is that you?_"

The quarian's heart seemed to stop beating, but she forced a lump down her throat that seemed to kick it back into gear. "Yes…" she gasped before she willed her vocal cords to work properly. "Yes! Yes! It's me, John! It's me!" She grabbed at the screen, almost if she intended her grip to be imparted onto the man that she was currently talking to.

The man on the screen hiccoughed, fresh tears forming in his eyes, the same occurring to Tali as well. "_Tali_…" he sighed and a smile spread across his face. "_I…I can't see you, can you see me?_"

Tali faltered. The Illusive Man must have only been speaking into a camera and not used a vid link to lower his transmission bandwidth so that the signal could not be traced so easily. No matter. Two more minutes and she would know everything she would need. But she was not going to waste this moment to finally talk to her love. _Talk_ to him! After all this time!

"I can see you, John," Tali whispered hoarsely. "Keelah…I can see you just fine…"

The human gave a strangled grin. "_Ah, I was afraid of that. How do I look? Pretty bad, huh?_"

Tali laughed through her tears. Her husband's uncanny ability to remain nonchalant and focused even in the worst situations was still at work, it seemed. "No," she fibbbed. "You…you look fine."

Shepard snorted over the feed. "_I'll take that as a 'yes,' then. You've never been a good liar, dear._"

This was incredible. A year since they had laid eyes on each other and already he was cracking jokes. Tali could not decide if she wanted to hit this man solidly upon the jaw or give him a hug just yet. Did he not realize how much his absence had hurt her, or was he simply trying to avoid the subject in case doing so would bring more pain? She decided upon the latter and decided not to voice her misgivings.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "It's just…" she sighed and managed to find a warm memory embedded within the maze of ice and despair, "…just that I remembered when you were so cute and handsome and now…now…"

"_What, this?_" Shepard gave a bob of his head, indicating his injuries. "_This is nothing. You'll see, I'll be back to my old self in no time once I get out of this place, Tali._" His face turned grave. "_You are coming to get me, right?"_

"I am," Tali hung her head before letting her head droop downward. Damn the consequences if Cerberus was listening in, it was no secret that she was hell-bent on doing what she stated. "I have been thinking of nothing else for a long time. I-I want to be with you again, John. I want nothing more than to just be your wife. I…I'm coming for you, I swear…I'm coming for you…"

Tali could not control a few sobs from her throat and she silently cried in her chair. On the screen, Shepard gave a genuine look of concern. Her sobs must have gone through the microphone despite her best efforts to conceal them. "_Shh, Tali_," he whispered. "_Don't cry. We'll see each other soon. I know that you'll find me in the end._"

"I will…I will…"

"_Your voice…_" the man continued to speak softly. "_God…how I've wanted to hear your voice again. I miss you, Tali. I miss my wife._"

"I miss you too," Tali agreed before the mood was ruined by another bout of muffled pounding from the bathroom door.

"What the hell is going on in there?!" Aria yelled through the locked door. "How long can hacking a network possibly take? Who are you talking to, anyway?"

"Shut up!" Tali screamed so violently that her voice cracked from the stress and the raw emotion, but she paid that no mind.

Shepard did not appear to have heard the outburst between the two and continued to proceed, but at a more hurried pace than before. "_Tali, please come soon. I want to get out of here. I'm scared, my love…I'm scared of this place, wherever it is_."

"I know where you are now," Tali said as she internally winced at Shepard's begging. The progress bar filled the screen and folder replaced it: the long-awaited solution to her problem. Heart in her throat, she clicked on the icon as she simultaneously stared at Shepard and a simple beacon on a galaxy map filled the void of the screen, occupying a corner of the galaxy that was only indicated by the tiny words hovering above it. "Cygnus X-3," she quietly read out loud. Now where had she heard that before?

"_Tali_," the man coughed, "_I know that it was I who made the promise to you originally, but I don't think that I'll be able to make it. I'm want you to promise me the same, and I hope you can forgive me for breaking my vow to you. Come back to me. I don't know if I'll be able to carry on without knowing you're out there. Please…please find me_."

"I will find you!" Tali promised, alarmed at the man's devolvement to absolutes. "I forgive you for everything, John! I will come for you! I'm close by, I finally have your location! I don't care if the Illusive Man or his thugs are listening in, I'm coming to get you and I will burn their installation to the ground and they will not be able to stop me from getting my husband back! No one can!"

"_I married wisely, then_," Shepard winked. "_I'm the luckiest son of a bitch alive, Tali, knowing you're out there looking for me. Find me, Tali. I'll be waiting for you. Tali, I want to tell you before we go, even though you already know this, that I lov-_"

An abrupt fizzle unexpectedly filled the screen and static blared for a second before the entire display shut down. Tali stared at the blank screen in shock, numb to everything else until the lights flickered on. Tali stood up, the back of her legs knocking over her chair in the process, to find a figure standing at the doorway back into the club, his hand already dropping from depressing the light switch.

"Garrus, no!" Tali screamed as she glanced back and forth from the wobbly turian to the laptop. She pummeled the power key repeatedly, but it was no use; the faulty electrics had rerouted power away from the console, causing its flat battery to almost immediately run out of juice. Tali was so incensed but she was captivated at bringing the workstation back online that she did not notice that Garrus had sidled up to her until he grabbed her wrist painfully.

"What…Tali, what have you done?!" Garrus shouted in horror as he wrenched her away from the desk. "All of those people out there…you drugging me…for this?!"

Tali growled and shook her arm out of Garrus' grip. "You bastard!" she screamed back at him, ignoring his exclamations. "Do you know what _you_ have just done?! You broke my data stream by turning on those lights! You ruined it!"

"Like I give a _shit_ about your data stream!" Garrus roared so loudly that Tali had to take a few steps back. She then noticed that the turian was subtly shaking and, to her shock, one of his eyes was pure blue – bloodshot. The turian took a second to catch his breath, more winded than usual. "You…you purposefully incapacitated me by dropping those drugs in my drink so that you could slip away. Did you think I was going to prevent you from doing something rash? If that scene outside was the intended outcome, then yes, I would have done everything in my power to stop you, but that does not excuse you for trying to harm someone who has been _your only friend this entire time!_"

"I-I didn't think it would be that bad…" Tali stammered as the turian furiously gestured to his eye. "I only thought it would knock you out…I didn't think it would go this far."

"You could have killed me if you used a larger dose of that drug, do you even know that? You probably didn't even know what you had bought at the time, but now look at me! I'm like any other junkie on the station; I have no balance, I'm seeing weird colors, and I had to battle a few hallucinations in getting here, but it's all finally dying down. Did you intend for _that_ to happen to me, did you?!"

Tali pressed against a scratched pillar for support, too ashamed to speak. "And…by the spirits, Tali," Garrus continued, aghast, "do you know how many _bodies_ I had to step over, just to get to this room? There were corpses _everywhere_; dozens of people out there, Tali, that you needlessly killed."

"They had guns and were about to-"

"You _murdered_ them!" Garrus screamed. "I don't care if you had a reason to kill them or not! It was _murder_, what you did! Tali, you didn't need to shoot anyone at all to get Aria's attention. There was another way we could have done this together!"

"What would _you_ have done?" Tali pushed back with a snarl. "Would you have inserted us into the queue and waited our turn to get into here for the possibility to claim an audience with Aria? I told you before, I am no longer waiting. I lost a year of my time mourning, I lost a _finger_ just yesterday! I am not wasting any more time so that I can lose what little I have left! Make no mistake, Garrus, I will slaughter _everyone_ who stands in my way if it means getting to John quicker."

Garrus jabbed Tali's chest with a finger, the most physical he had ever gotten with her. "Does that justify you from acting like a criminal? I don't know what it's like to lose a spouse, but you're not the only one who has a monopoly on suffering. You don't get the right to take away innocent lives like that! I've put down people who have done lesser things on this station before, Tali."

"Is that a threat, Garrus?" Tali spread her arms wide mockingly. "Then kill me if you're serious, but you're never going to know where John is because I already found that out while you were staggering around outside. When you messed up the electrical current, I was in the middle of a discussion with him from the Illusive Man's base! Would I have gotten this result if I had taken _your_ advice?!"

Garrus blinked, his odd eye trying desperately to focus. "You…you _spoke_ to Shepard? You know where he is?"

"I may have done the things you have accused me of doing, but I have never lied to you. I have John's location, Garrus. We can leave this forsaken station whenever you want and put all this behind us."

"I won't be able to do that," Garrus said sternly. "We're leaving here as soon as possible yes, but I don't think I will ever be able to forget what you did here, Tali." He looked around the room and scratched at his eye. The turian definitely looked the most upset that Tali had ever seen, which confused her. She just told him that she knew where John was. Shouldn't he be happy? Elated? He was looking the exact opposite.

Garrus just gave a dismissive wave as he finally comprehended the news. "Everything's a mess now, Tali. You've finally crossed a line that I'm not willing to traverse. I thought we were going to do this the right way, but your behavior has turned you into someone I don't recognize anymore. Unless you can make me understand your actions better, I don't think that I want to have anything to do with you after this, Tali. I don't know what caused this shift, but I'm not sure that remaining in your presence is worth the trouble anymore."

"You're just going to throw away our friendship over this?" Tali was amazed. "I'm just trying to get my husband back, and I'm doing it any way I can. How can that be so reprehensible to your _obviously_ pure moral compass?"

Garrus winced. Tali's mocking stung and he felt a pit open up in his chest, the cavernous sensation painful. "The fact that you treat it so nonchalantly is proof enough that you don't care about the repercussions of your actions. I'm not a murderer, Tali, but now you have become the very thing that I have always despised. I will still help you find Shepard, but I'm now doing it for _his_ sake rather than yours. I'm doing this for a friend, but that friend is not you. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly," Tali growled, already trying to burn Garrus impression from her mind almost spitefully.

"Good, now if-" Garrus broke off as yet another burst of pounding came from the door in the corner. "Who's in there?"

"Oh," Tali shrugged as she glanced in that direction. "Aria."

"It just gets better and better, doesn't it?" Garrus sighed savagely. "You put Aria in there? By force?"

"She refused to be cooperative. I needed her out of the way."

"Well, crap, Tali. I hope you haven't done anything to her because we're going to need to be on her good side if we're leaving Omega alive."

"Why are you complaining? She's locked in there and she can't harm us now."

Garrus had to hold himself back from shaking some sense into the stubborn quarian. "'Now' being the key word. Once she does get out, and she will eventually, she will send her full force after us because she is a very vengeful sort and does not forgive easily unless we smooth things over with her right now. And I, for one, do not fancy yet another raiding party tracking our movements every step of the way."

"I wouldn't release her," Tali warned as Garrus moved over to unlock the door. "She's dangerous, Garrus."

The turian somberly stared back, his eyes remorseful. "So are you," he replied as he depressed the button to remove the locks on the door.

Without warning, the metal frame exploded backward in a burst of azure energy. The door caught Garrus in the blast and propelled him backwards through the air, shouting as he flew. Tali bent her knees, dumbstruck as Aria effortlessly walked through the threshold, brimming with biotic power that almost seemed to tear her apart at the seams. Her eyes glowed a fierce purple and the energy distorted reality around her, making the physical world seem like it was flowing around her. But what was more interesting was the fact that Aria's arms were swinging freely, independent of each other.

"How?" Tali cried above the thrum in the air caused by the biotics as she fumbled with her pistol. "How did you get free?!"

"Not the first time I've been cuffed before, slut!" Aria cackled before she broke into a biotic charge that managed to cover seven meters in less than a second. Aria's shoulder rammed into Tali's torso and she too fell down with an agonizing cry. Aria panted over her in a dominant pose. "You think that after Petrovsky's fucking around with me I would allow myself to be restrained so easily again? You didn't even bother to check if I had a disruptor implant, you stupid quarian! Your electronically based cuffs are like _paper_ to me!"

Aria crouched down, and with her enhanced strength, she was able to easily lift Tali up off the ground and dangle her up in the air from her neck. Tali's hand squabbled for purchase on the asari's arm, but Aria would not budge. Trapped in a vice, Tali spluttered and gagged.

"You…let me…catch you?!"

"It was not yet the time to play my hand," Aria sneered. "I wanted to know your angle, as queen of Omega I am expected to know everything on this station. You were an unknown, but ultimately the hand you were dealt was inferior to mine once you were forced to play. You really should have killed me instead of locking me up. Only then would you have won."

With a dull clank, Garrus pushed the remains of the bathroom door off him, allowing him to stand. He plucked his pistol from his holster and brought it up with his arms steadying his grip. Aria sensed movement in her peripheral vision and involuntarily glanced in the turian's direction, just in time to see the blossoming flower of flame burst from the barrel of Garrus' pistol.

The high-velocity round traveled straight and true. It pierced the asari's shield with little effort and made its way through the azure haze of biotics to impact directly upon Aria's forehead. The top of the purple asari's head popped off like a cap from a beer bottle, allowing blood and brains to explode into the air. Bone popped, the sound like a firecracker, and shards of skull rained down upon the ground. Aria's grip slackened and Tali sunk to her knees, hacking and coughing while the nearly headless body of the asari toppled over unceremoniously.

Tali, making a final wheeze, slowly stood back up. She gave the fresh corpse a kick. "_Bosh'tet_," she murmured before she turned back to Garrus, who wore a bleak look on his face. "Thanks for that," she said as she rubbed her neck.

"Don't thank me," Garrus growled. "Don't thank me for this. This was all your fault to begin with."

"Wait, what are you talking about? I was just thanking you for saving me and killing her-"

"That's the problem. In killing Aria, we've killed this station."

That was not what Tali was expecting. "Huh?"

Garrus holstered his pistol and rubbed at his eyes with a sigh. The list of regrets never ended. "Tali, Aria was the only person keeping Omega in check. She made sure that the large gangs were in line and always acted to prevent others from gaining dominance over her. Now that Aria is dead, a new leader is not going to be elected from the populace, this place doesn't work like that. What is going to happen is that the gangs will start an all-out war for control of Aria's turf, for whoever claims that gets Omega. It will be a brutal fight, hundreds – perhaps thousands will die – including innocents caught in the crossfire. This station will tear itself apart over the coming months, and we cannot stop it anymore, not since you made that decision to storm Afterlife."

"Wait a minute, this is not what I intended-"

"Then what did you intend?" Garrus said almost tiredly. "A friendly chat and warm hospitality? Your naiveté about Omega has ultimately altered its destiny for the worse. We could have done this differently, but we've just put more innocents at risk…thanks to you."

Garrus did not spare a sideways glance at Tali or at the remains of Aria. "I'm getting the hell off this station before the next shots are fired. If you want to tag along and tell me where we're going next, now's your chance. If so, our next destination better be our last, for both our sakes. If not, you're just going to be on your own. Your choice."

The turian wheeled about and stomped out of the room, somewhat hoping that the quarian would just stay behind and get out of his sight for the rest of his life. Damn what Shepard thought, having Tali with him was almost becoming to garner more trouble than he thought was worth it. He had made it down the first steps of Aria's balcony when he heard footsteps behind him. Light, scraping, almost as if they were weighed down by anguish.

Not knowing if he should be pleased or upset, Garrus kept his expression neutral as he led Tali out of Afterlife, her more diminutive form never greater than a few feet away. Thankfully, the both of them shared the much-needed silence back to their ship, each one either too angry or timid to strike up a conversation.

* * *

**A/N: Honestly, I thought this was only going to be a 5,000 word chapter. I had no idea that it would have bloated to double that size, considering that this chapter only takes place in one location.**

**Current mood at the moment has me envisioning the usage of Rob Zombie's "Reload" as appropriate music for the club rampage scene. Not a particularly big fan of Zombie in truth, but the driving force behind the song seems to fit the chapter very well.**

**But now that Shepard finally has a scene in the present timeline, I'd better go ahead and add his tag to the story. I've been dangling the ultimate goal for so long above Tali's head that it seemed time that she got to take a glimpse at said goal by now. The final act is just upon this story now. Here's hoping that Irreparable will not suffer any more delays and will be completed in the next four weeks or so.**


	16. Chapter 15: Razor Wire - Revelations

FTL – Currently En Route

Quiet had enveloped the cockpit for the past hour, broken only by the soft sounds of the turian cleaning his weapons with a soft cloth – the catch of fabric across protruding catches. No words had been exchanged between him and the quarian who shared the shuttle, although both were doing their best to keep the mood from being as frigid as possible. Despite their best efforts, the inevitable friction had overwhelmed the desire for good manners, rendering a rather hostile environment instead.

The QED messaging application suddenly lit up as the notice, beamed across lightyears of space, scrolled across the display in the cockpit. Alerted from the hold, Nitherius clambered over to the cockpit and impassively read the words on the holographic board for half a minute before he gave a frustrated sigh and seated himself back in the chair, the thin cushioning whining in protest. Working quickly, he brought up the controls for the shuttle and did some manual adjusting with the coordinates, inputting them quickly so that the shuttle's computer could calculate the most efficient route with what current resources and fuel they had at the moment so that it would bring about the shortest trip possible. Resources cost money, after all.

The result flashed on the screen, but the outside spectrum of FTL did not change, even though their course probably had them wheeling around a hundred and eighty degrees in the galactic sense, but it was a sensation that could not be interpreted while moving at these speeds. The laws of physics only got weirder the faster and faster one went.

With a grunt, Nitherius edged himself out and back into the hold, where Paav was sitting attentively. The quarian's head perked up as the turian resumed seating in his previous position.

"What's going on?" Paav asked, curious.

"Course correction," Nitherius grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why? Weren't we headed to Omega?"

"We _were_," Nitherius corrected. "But are no longer. I just got a message from my intel team. A transponder signal corresponding to Tali'Shepard's shuttle just entered in a route heading for the Hercules system in Attican Beta once it entered the relay system. Apparently this was half an hour _after_ some sort of an incursion had been performed at the club Afterlife in Omega, leaving nineteen people dead and an unknown number of wounded. Spirits, that place got more fucked up than I've ever imagined."

"An incursion?" Paav asked. "You don't think-"

"Tali'Shepard and Garrus Vakarian undoubtedly plotted out a daring maneuver to force their way into the club, massacred several people that included innocent civilians, Aria T'Loak being one of the casualties. There is no other explanation for why such a brazen series of events would have occurred with their corresponding presence. Either that, or it's the biggest coincidence ever to have happened in this galaxy."

Paav clasped his hands together in thought. "Then it appears that my original hunch was correct. But killing Aria T'Loak, the pirate queen? You think Tali and Garrus really would do such a thing? I…I admit I didn't think that either of them would go that far."

"Perhaps that is why they have remained ahead of us up to this point," Nitherius suggested as he slammed his pistol onto the desk and began ejecting the thermal clips so that he could resume maintenance upon it. "We have constantly been underestimating those two for every leg of this forsaken journey and I am sick of it. There will be an end to it all, I tell you." Nitherius' face grew softer as he depressed a clamp on his pistol, splitting it down the middle to expose the oiled mechanisms. "But I do have to admit that your information was correct, even though on the other hand, since our targets are no longer on board that station, there is no reason for us to go to Omega at all."

"But why Attican Beta? What is there for Tali to find?"

"I bet I know where," Nitherius grimaced as he jerked the slot back on his pistol with a flick of his wrist. "You ever heard of the disposal site stationed at Cygnus X-3?"

"Sounds vaguely familiar, although I've never really been privy to the details. What about it?"

"Cygnus X-3 is a quarantine zone created after the war, designated as a clandestine cleanup site for the removal of unsafe artifacts. The Hierarchy has laid claim to the surrounding space as well as the objects we have stationed there to be disposed of, as per a deal with the Council behind closed doors. It's all strictly classified, so I hope that you will use discretion when discussing it in the future."

"I can be discreet," Paav shot back. "I'm a soldier, not a journalist, and a whistleblower least of all."

"I didn't say you were otherwise, but you have to understand that the specifics of Cygnus X-3 are very controversial. The whole place is very dangerous from the radioactivity surrounding the singularity in the area, so one cannot linger long lest you want to become riddled with cosmic rays and get iron nuclei embedded in your system. Not rather healthy, mind you. The site, despite our best efforts, is also heavily infested with Blood Pack activity; they keep interfering with our work crews while they try to scavenge spare materials, so the place is home to more than one danger. No idea what Vakarian and that quarian might be searching for in that place, but Cygnus X-3 the only thing of note in the Attican Beta system. There is a rough connection between those two and what the site holds."

"A connection worth killing to know?"

"Apparently," Nitherius mused. "T'Loak must have withheld information that she intercepted from the Cerberus materials left behind from the prior invasion. Intelligence suggests that Aria was the owner of a wealth of hidden Cerberus files that are not available anywhere else, ever since she kicked that organization off Omega. Tali and Vakarian must have quarreled with that damned asari for a glance at those files to determine their next destination."

"Still…Aria dead…that will have severe repercussions for the station. For the _system_, even."

"I would guess that those repercussions have already begun," Nitherius said mildly, as if he was ordering a meal at a restaurant while he checked his omni-tool for clarification. "Hierarchy intel reports that violent rioting has started to crop up in the streets now that Aria is not keeping an eye on things – being that she is….well, dead. The four gangs on the station have commenced invasions onto rival territory and the body count is unknown at this point, although it's presumed to be quite high. As far as I'm concerned now, Vakarian and Shepard's widow are criminals and deserve to be treated as such."

"I wouldn't discount Tali just yet," Paav offered. "She's just trying to find her husband-"

"And that makes her actions, inexcusable as they are, _justified_?" Nitherius asked in astonishment. "Tali'Zorah – or _Shepard_, I don't give a shit – has put others needlessly in danger through evidence that can be barely considered circumstantial. I don't care if she's trying to locate a lost spouse, for that does _not_ give her the right to take lives, no matter if the people on the receiving end happen to deserve them. That is _not_ her place to decide! It is the duty of the established system to administer justice accordingly and fairly. Were it not for my orders, I would not have gone to all this trouble to simply capture those two. I would have _executed_ them a long time ago."

"And is that truly _your_ place to decide?" Paav countered. "Is it the right of a Spectre to administer justice on the spot without the benefit of a fair trial? Is true justice, in your opinion, doled out from your hand only?"

"It does not matter. I am a Spectre; the Council's will extends through me. I am expected to be their instrument and uphold their laws in their stead."

Paav scoffed. "The Spectres are a branch of the Council that have grown too powerful throughout the years. It used to be that they were representatives of the best of the races, true paragons that were incorruptible to the horrors of the galaxy. Now, it has come to the point where being a Spectre earns you the right for the Council to look the other way. If you killed an innocent in the line of duty, you probably won't even be given a slap on the wrist. If you carried out an invasion of a nearby planet, the Council would sweep such an incident under the rug. If you managed to commit the most terrible of atrocities imaginable, I bet that your status would allow you to escape punishment despite any blowback unto you from any third parties."

"Are you comparing me to that barefaced bastard Saren?" Nitherius' voice was cold.

"Not at all. I'm just providing the one example that irreparably tarnished the status of being a Council Spectre. The Council ignored Saren's antics for years and it was only from Shepard and Tali's interference did he become a criminal in their eyes. I'm not saying that you are like Saren, I'm just pointing out that you don't have to _be_ like him. What I'm trying to say is that one person should not be expected to carry out the full function of the law. Their morals get twisted, their beliefs tarnished. Men _change_, Nitherius, for we truly cannot rely on anyone to be incorruptible in this day and age."

"Then what about Shepard? Do you believe that he was one of those few paragons that proved to be incorruptible until the end?"

Paav considered that. "I don't think I know much about him to judge his character. His actions saved the galaxy, but he did do terrible things during his stint as a Spectre. A brief association with Cerberus, the destruction of the Alpha Relay, hundreds of thousands of lives were ended from his actions, yet they were necessary compared to the cost of people who could be saved. Should it have fallen to one man to make the decisions he did? No. But it was only fortunate that his decisions were in fact the right ones. At least, I hope _you_ make those decisions in the future, Verdis Nitherius. It would befit your stature and your honor to do so, I believe."

Nitherius' eyes lowered as he regarded the quarian across from him. He flexed his cybernetic fingers, not in a threatening, but in a thoughtful manner. "Very few have spoken to me the way you just did," he said. "It's an interesting view you have, one that reflects a crafty intelligence. You are a virtuous sort, Paav'Inera. Perhaps _you_ would have been better suited for candidacy in the Spectres than wasting your time as an admiral's aide-de-camp."

Paav was struck by that. Even though tensions between races had eased in the past year, there was still animosity between the quarians and the turians, something that could not be dismissed in an instant. The quarians had earned the turians ire long ago for frequently skirting their borders with their large flotilla, causing the turians to consider the quarians as invaders. The quarians themselves thought of the turians as warmongers conversely, so it came as a genuine surprise to Paav that Nitherius honestly thought that a quarian could be suitable for a Spectre candidacy, even if the comment was meant to be taken glibly. After all, there had never been, in the history of the galaxy, a quarian Spectre.

"I'm flattered," Paav stammered as he waved a hand, "but I'm just a soldier that is simply tired of war. Continuing this career does not interest me as there are other items I must turn my attention to. All I want to do is complete this last assignment so that I can barter my way out of the service and be with my family. I may seem righteous in my actions, but I'm only doing this as per my orders so that I can be a better father to my kid and perhaps my next one. I want to keep my emotions intact so that I will still be whole when I return back to Rannoch. I don't have any demons to hide yet."

That got Nitherius' attention. "You have a child?"

"A daughter. And I might get the chance to have a son once I put all this behind me. Do you have any? Children, I mean. I don't know if-"

The turian chuckled. "-if someone would endure being with someone as prickly as me? I can understand the skepticism, Inera. To answer your question: no, I do not have a child of my own, though I would like to have one. Perhaps I will correct that when I return to my own homeworld."

"You're married?"

"Not yet," Nitherius said before he knew what he blurted out. Why was he being so forthcoming with this quarian? He had never opened up to anyone concerning his personal life before, save for the Primarch. Just what was it about Paav that made him feel at ease? Was it the fact that he was here for basically the same reason or did he admire the man's dedication with believing that his path was the honorable one? And was that not his own goal as well? To be a just and fair person, a symbol for his people?

It occurred to Nitherius that he had spent a noticeable amount of time being silent, the awkwardness now uncomfortably tangible. In embarrassment, he scratched the back of his neck while trying to avert his eyes.

The quarian across from him did not need to say a word. Nitherius was simple to understand. He was simply a man frustrated with the system, trying to convince himself of his purity but slowly becoming corrupted by it over time. That was understandable from Paav's point of view. Soldiers like them fell in danger of falling into a pattern of violence until it came to a point where they no longer resisted the urges. This mission was their out, their way to a normal life. Despite their differing species, Paav felt that they were very like-minded in several aspects.

"What's her name?" Paav whispered anyway, unsure if his words registered.

Nitherius fixated him with an unblinking stare, weighing if he should respond or not. "Kiyareh," he finally answered.

A blinking light from Paav's omni-tool shook him out of his reflection. Whatever moment had been going on, the alarming cackle from his tool had thoroughly ruined. He gave a glance upward at Nitherius, who shrugged in return. It was fine by him if he took the call in this room, it seemed. Paav did not recognize the caller's address, but he accepted it anyway for a dark-suited quarian to stare in annoyance through the holographic screen after the static had cleared.

"Admiral Xen?" Paav straightened in his seat as a fierce gaze glared back. "This is an unexpected surprise."

"_Spare me the pleasantries so that I can get to the point_," the irksome Xen snapped. "_Are you currently alone at the moment?_"

_What a strange thing to ask_. "Yes, I am," Paav lied, making sure to catch Nitherius' curious eye. Already this had taken a turn for the interesting.

"_Perfect. The reason I'm calling is to give you an assignment, Commander Inera_."

"I am already on assignment as mandated by Admiral Raan," Paav said with some apprehension. Already this felt wrong on a few levels. Was Raan aware of this? Why wasn't _she_ the one calling?

"_Yes, I am aware that Raan has sent you out on a mission to retrieve Tali'Zorah." _Xen continued, shrugging off Paav's halfhearted attempt at a deflection._ "I am here to give you an addendum to that mission_."

Nitherius' head had perked up by now, but there was no way that Xen could see the turian as the projector was currently aimed at Paav, in the opposite direction. Paav wondered if he should have taken this in private, now that it was apparent that this was to be a sensitive conversation, but it was too late to enact on that now.

"And what would such an addendum entail?" Paav asked, not bothering to correct the admiral on Tali's current clan name.

"_I have been monitoring various reports that have managed to paint Tali'Zorah in a worse than usual light. Earth, the Alliance prison ship Gehenna, and now Omega. Apparently you have been failing in your task to retrieve this woman, Commander Inera, who is obviously unstable as demonstrated from her erratic actions_. _She has been running amok for too long and no action has been taken against her!_"

"I believe that Tali needs help," Paav said earnestly. "I was given direct orders from Raan _not_ to harm her. Such precautions are much more difficult to carry out than the alternative." Of course he was not going to mention that he might have accidentally shot off Tali's finger just prior, but that issue could be confronted much later, and certainly not in front of Xen.

"_And it is precisely that alternative that I am now ordering you to pursue._"

Paav frowned. What was going on? "Are we referring to the same alternative here?"

"_Oh, don't be a dolt_," Xen sighed. "_I mean that you should terminate Tali'Zorah, of course_."

That drew another glance between Paav and Nitherius, still hidden from view. "Does Admiral Raan know about this?" Paav asked carefully.

"_Raan is not in the loop concerning this development. Rest assured, whatever deal she has struck with you over the terms of completing your mission, I am prepared to offer the same, plus the prospect of moving your family up the waitlist for your permanent residence to be constructed at the site of your choosing – not to linger in a camp for any longer_."

"_If_ I kill Tali."

"_Precisely_."

"And why do _you_ want her dead, admiral? Is it just because she struck you in the compound all that time ago?"

"_She humiliated me, is what she did_," Xen fumed. "_Tali'Zorah is a renegade that seems to believe that the rules do not apply to her. The headlines surrounding her behavior have brought shame to the quarian people. She is unfit to stand before the Conclave, Commander Inera, and therefore, she must be executed on the spot_."

"Without a fair trial?" _Wasn't I just discussing this five minutes ago?_

"_To hell with a trial. She won't be punished properly if she is brought in front of the Conclave. No one would dare harm her if she was brought back to Rannoch in chains. She would merely be a martyr if we ended up punishing her publicly, considering her involvement in the war. Therefore, the worst thing that would happen to her on Rannoch would be a mere telling-off. No, that cannot be made happen. It is imperative that we restore our status in the galaxy and Tali'Zorah's antics will only push our goals further away from us. Her death, though, must not be linked back to us, lest our own people rebel against their government, something of which I'm confident that you can take care of. As an admiral of the fleet, I hereby order you, Commander Inera, to terminate Tali'Zorah on sight."_

Paav opened his mouth to speak, but Xen cut him off. "_Be warned, commander. If you refuse, I am prepared to enact a contingency that I have managed to put in place before I contacted you. Others will do the job a little more…messily, considering their specific line of work. The state of the galaxy has created enemies for Tali'Zorah and a line has formed at the chopping block. I can give you what you want, as long as you can give me what I want_."

The admiral reared her head back on the screen and crossed her arms triumphantly, her visor obviously hiding a snarky smile. Her head tilted, waiting for an answer, one that Paav had formed the second that the query had been presented to him.

"I've already made my choice, Admiral," Paav tightly grinned. "Find someone else to do your dirty work."

Before Xen could scream into the comm at the blunt rejection, Paav closed his omni-tool and slumped in his seat, drained. Already he could feel a weight lifting off of his chest at the same time an invisible spike seemed to be driving itself deep into his heart. Across the table, Nitherius scratched at his mandibles sagely.

"You think that your admiral was bluffing? About there being a contingency?"

"Who knows?" Paav groaned as he struggled to sit up. "Xen is crafty, but I am not sure why she would deign to go behind another admiral's back and issue contradictory orders. This entire thing just feels…off. I mean, killing Tali'Shepard? Who would, in good conscience, issue a crazy order like that?"

"Perhaps the admiral feels endangered from the quarian's existence? Is there any animosity between the two?"

Paav gave a strangled laugh. "Such matters are far above my pay grade, Nitherius. What I do know is that I'm not about to disobey my original orders when this entire operation was supposed to be strictly between me and Admiral Raan. Speaking of which…"

Opening his omni-tool again, Paav quickly typed in a few commands, his eyes hard and furious as he did so, and watched a progress bar rise momentarily until a specific action had just been completed. With a flourish, the quarian set his arm down and gave a triumphant huff.

Confused, Nitherius asked, "What did you just do?"

"What protocol mandates me to do," Paav shrugged. "My omni-tool automatically records every conversation between users, and I just sent a copy of my conversation with Xen…over to Raan."

Nitherius looked astonished. "You have quite the guts to pull off something like that," he said admiringly.

"Then why don't I feel so good? I probably just ended my career in the service by exposing a potentially treasonous conversation, despite my desire to leave anyway." Paav gave a savage laugh. "I had just said that I'm not a whistleblower, right? It took me only fifteen minutes to prove that I was a liar, Ancestors help me. The military hates whistleblowers, but if I can keep my own conscience clean, then I feel that my tenure in the service will have all been worth it. I _will_ have no demons, I tell you."

"What do you think will happen?"

Paav gave a nervous laugh. "Words cannot even describe, but I anticipate that there will be much shouting over on Rannoch and perhaps an arrest. It isn't much, but it is what my duty requests of me and I'm prepared to follow my actions down to the bitter end, everyone else be damned."

"You certainly are a virtuous sort, Paav'Inera" Nitherius nodded in approval after a silent moment. If he had a bottle of liquor, he would have passed it over to the quarian, but as he was currently dry, he mimicked a salute instead. "Virtuous until the end."

* * *

_Normandy_, 2186

_It was the whimpering sounds next to her that ultimately roused her from her rest._

_Usually on the nights when Tali slept without her enviro-suit, she initially found that sleeping was more difficult based on the fact that she had to contend with a range of new stimuli assaulting her very senses. The touch of bedsheets on her skin, the quiet humming of the warp drive through the hold – no longer muffled and muted from her helmet, the strong and overwhelming smells that surrounded her nostrils, and the very sensation of freedom in her limbs made her mind restless and fraught with wonder, making for what had been sleepless nights in the beginning but now she had just begun to get used to moments like these._

_In contrast, Tali had been engrossed in a particularly wonderful rest until she had noticed that one of the strong and warm arms that had been gently wrapped around her stomach had begun to tremble slightly, in addition to the sniffling noises that were emitting from the person she was currently sharing the bed with._

_Rolling herself around, Tali saw that Shepard was not looking rather peaceful. He was still asleep, but his facial muscles were repeatedly twitching and soft moans were coming from his mouth as his arms reflexively curled. In alarm, Tali began to shake the human, causing the man's head to loll back and forth as his sounds became more panicked, frightening her. She hated to hear Shepard so pained._

"_John, wake up!" she quietly pleaded. "Wake up, John! Please!"_

_In response to her shaking, Shepard's eyes snapped open, not slowly, but so fast like he had been awake this entire time. With a gasp, he sat up, almost knocking his head against Tali's in the process. The human was completely coated with sweat, drenching the bedsheets below him. He put a hand over his heart first before he wiped his brow, almost in a daze, like he was not aware of what he had been doing._

_Tali threw aside the sheets that covered her, exposing her skin to the cool air of the cabin, and firmly embraced Shepard, partly to calm him down, partly to restrain him so that he would not cause any damage from his jerky movements. She placed her cheek upon Shepard's shoulder, ignoring the cold sweat that seeped from his pores. She could even feel the pounding of his heart reverberating throughout the man's body. Tali made a soft cooing sound and rubbed her hands along Shepard's body, trying to calm him down._

"_T-Tali…" Shepard muttered, goosebumps now appearing on his flesh. "Wh-What happened?"_

"_You had another nightmare," Tali said sadly. "Was…was it the same one as last time?"_

"_Worse," the man said with a shake of his head. Shepard looked terrified; this was one of the few times that Tali had seen him so scared. Actually, she was the only one who witnessed the true man that lay behind the cracks – able to see the human behind his own stoic mask that he put on for the benefit of his crew. Behind the steely gaze was a man on the verge of shattering completely._

_Tali frowned. "Do you want to tell me about it?"_

"_Would you think any less of me if I didn't?"_

"_No," she said honestly. "But I don't want you to keep all this pain bottled in. I want to understand what is hurting you, John, even if I might not like knowing what it is."_

_The human gave a smile as his hand brushed Tali's cheek. "You really are taking this whole 'til death do us part' thing seriously, aren't you?"_

"_I knew what I was getting into when I said the words. Were you?"_

"_Of course I was," Shepard scowled softly. "But now it seems that I only have more to lose and my subconscious is merely taunting me. With the Reapers a-and death. I-I mean…what if, god forbid, I happen to lose you? I wouldn't just lose a friend, but a soulmate and a wife, Tali. It's just another pressure point to be depressed, don't you see? I'm more vulnerable than ever when I'm around you, Tali."_

"_It's thinking like that that will destroy you," Tali whispered as she brought herself onto Shepard's lap and gave him a tender hug. The human reciprocated the action with a sigh of relief. Tali practically hummed from the contact of skin against skin and softly laid her lips upon the human's cheek in a kiss. "You won't lose me, John. I will be by your side until the end. Is that what your nightmare was about? You losing me?"_

"_Something along those lines," Shepard nodded glumly. "Even though I feel confident of the outcome in this war, I can't stop thinking about what would happen if I were to fall, or you were. I don't know…doesn't that seem selfish? I should be thinking of what happens if the fleet were to lose at Earth yet the only person that I care the most about in this screwed up galaxy is you, Tali."_

"_If that's the case, then I'm equally selfish, John. I don't want to lose you anymore than you want to lose me. I don't care about anything else, my homeworld, the fleet, nothing else. All I want at the end of this is you, which makes me selfish too."_

"_And if that eventuality happens anyway?" Shepard gave a tired smile as he kissed Tali's palm, warm lips upon her skin. "If I happen to fall on the battlefield?"_

"_Don't talk like that, you bosh'tet," Tali said seriously with a tiny shove on Shepard's chest. "Don't you dare think that will be true for one second! You are the Commander John Shepard, the first human Spectre, my husband and dearest friend. You will not die on Earth! You can't just leave me in this galaxy all alone, you idiot. You can't just think that…"_

"_Shh," Shepard whispered as he flicked a thumb over one of Tali's rapidly watering eyes, wiping tears away in anticipation. "I'm not saying that dying is a certainty, Tali. I just…I want you to be as ready as possible in case that does happen."_

"_I will never be ready for that! You couldn't possibly believe that I would accept your death! It…it would destroy me, John."_

"_Which is why we need to have this conversation now. Already I've taken steps to ensure that you will be better off in case the worst comes to pass. I don't want to upset you, Tali, but it would be foolish to assume that either of us could emerge from this fight unscathed."_

"_Then I might as well be the biggest fool in the galaxy!" Tali exclaimed. "I don't even want to imagine a life without you!"_

"_Nevertheless," Shepard continued patiently, the shock from his nightmare now fully passed, "I just want you to know that I've made preparations for that eventuality. Now that you're married to me, your name has automatically been written into my will, the sole recipient of my belongings. If I die – if, mind you – you will receive everything I own. You will no longer have to worry about money courtesy of my large bank account and insurance plan, and you will get my apartment on the Citadel so that you will always have a home if you need it."_

_Tali was silent for a moment before she slowly began to shake her head, her long black hair bobbing in every direction. "What good are those things if you aren't there with me?" she moaned. "How can I have a home if you aren't there to enjoy it as well? I too have more to lose, John. You. I lost a friend once but the thought of losing a husband, someone I've built up a bond with over a span of years, is…is unthinkable."_

"_I wouldn't worry about it," Shepard assured as he cupped the quarian's face. "I just wanted to cover all the bases so that you could be as happy as possible, no matter what happens."_

"_I'm happy right now," Tali asserted through her tears as she forcibly grabbed the human's head in return. "And I don't want to continue this discussion anymore."_

"_I only wanted to-"_

"_Don't," Tali shushed. "Please…just stop talking."_

_The quarian then pressed her face to the human's, their lips interlocking while their bodies sidled closer to the other. The atmosphere between them quickly became more raw and frantic as they proceeded to kiss quicker and deeper. Tali's mouth opened wide and Shepard's lips parted to allow her entrance. The two spent minutes doing nothing but making out while their hands gently slid over the muscles of their respective partner's back. As their tongues sparred, soft moans were elicited from their mouths, driven from the strong and erotic sensations of the foreplay._

_With a wet smack, Tali managed to pull away from Shepard and wiped a string of saliva from her face. Making sure to transfix the human with her loving gaze, she knew that no words needed to be said, so she elected to come in close as she hugged Shepard again, pressing the side of her head against the human's. The two slowly fell back onto the bed, lying on their sides as they embraced, the nude pair so overwhelmed with emotion that they could not speak even if they tried._

_Serenated by the drive core and illuminated from the stars above, Tali and Shepard lay on the bed for a quarter of an hour, doing nothing but slowly trailing their fingers across the other. One of Tali's hands smoothed across Shepard's abdomen while the human's own appendage gently squeezed one of the quarian's breasts. Tali gasped as Shepard lightly played with her chest for a little bit, and soon rocked to the swell of the pleasure emanating from the man's actions. She then positioned her mouth close to Shepard's ear and, in her haze of desire, began to hum a tune that she knew from memory._

_Shepard stopped his ministrations so that he could concentrate on the melody that Tali was humming. It was a lovely sound, emboldened from the musicality that Tali's voice naturally carried. A few times the quarian's voice cracked, but that only added to the natural timing of the performance. Shepard stroked Tali's back to reassure her and she continued on with the song, the soulful pitch ascending and descending with what almost seemed to be spoken words trying to escape from Tali's mouth._

_With a final breath and a lingering vibrato, the song ceased, leaving a more noticeable void than before in the room. Shepard gave Tali a final squeeze and maneuvered his head so that he could properly see her face again._

"_That was beautiful," Shepard whispered with a smile. "I…I honestly didn't know you had such a talent."_

_Tali blushed. "It's…not really something I like to advertise. I mean, if Garrus got word that I liked to sing, the taunts would be endless."_

"_Which would then stop after I kick his ass," Shepard frowned but did so with a mischievous prod to Tali's chest. "Although that doesn't stop him from commenting on my dancing, but this is an entirely different situation. If my wife wants to express herself through music, then she is damn well going to. Was that song something you just made up or did you hear it from someplace?"_

"_It was from a musical that I loved to watch as a child. I probably spent weeks memorizing the lyrics whenever I had the time."_

"_Oh? There's lyrics that go with the melody?"_

"_Indeed there are," Tali smiled as she gave Shepard's nose a peck. "And I'm willing to make you a deal, John. You come back from this war alive, you come back to me, and I'll sing the entire thing for you. No humming, real singing."_

"_You mean my own personal concert? This sounds suspiciously like a bribe."_

"_It certainly is a bribe," Tali laughed as she brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "It's a bribe to prompt you to give it your all out there. You're going to live, John, and I don't want to hear any more of this silly talk about you dying again. You will live and I will sing the song for you – any song, really – when we're finished with this business."_

_Shepard beamed, his pride for his wife inflated tenfold. He gave Tali a return kiss and held her tenderly to his chest as his ribcage rumbled with a laugh. "You'll sing any song, eh?"_

"_Whatever you want, my love."_

"_Such a priceless act…" he murmured before he sat up triumphantly, his gaze the most serious and determined Tali had seen since she had awoken. That was the man she knew. "You've got a deal, Tali!"_

* * *

Present

_You've got a deal…_

Upon one of the two uncomfortable cots in the shuttle, Tali's eyes unceremoniously flared open as she awoke lying on her back while staring at the sparse ceiling. Dust floated in the air, illuminated from the dim lighting, some of it clinging to her visor.

"Damn it all…" she muttered out loud. Another sleepless rest to add up to the ever-growing tally. Of course she should have expected her sleep patterns to be fairly erratic in the wake of her accumulating knowledge on the whereabouts of her husband, but now it just seemed that she was barely getting any time to recharge, no matter if she actually fell asleep or not.

Her body, at this point, seemed actively trying to rebel against her in this position. Her back twinged from its orientation on the cot, her head felt like it was about to split open from the onset of a headache, her missing finger still ached at the joint now covered by scar tissue, and there was a dull throb in her groin that began to pool and burn. Tali groaned for there was no way that she was ever going to get more rest until the shuttle reached its destination. Not in her current condition.

With one hand upon her helmet and the other clutching her abdomen, Tali sat up, biting her lip to quell any sort of pained noise. The blanket below her was a mess, it was wrinkled and torn in several places that denoted a fidgety host. Tali looked at the ruined covering for a second and tried to come up with a reason for why she would have done such a thing in her sleep. What had her idle hands been doing when she was passed out, unconscious? Were they reflecting her desperation and desire, or was their ultimate intent destruction? Seconds passed but no answers came.

Tali felt dirty underneath her suit. The bizarre urge to take a shower clung to her mind, never mind the fact that showering was unnecessary given the cleaning programs equipped with all enviro-suits, for it was more the need to have a reason to be free of the suit once again, to be naked without any cares whatsoever. Such was the life she had envisioned for herself, but now her hopes were growing impatient and catching up with her actions. Tali was practically running on borrowed time, doomed to careen in the wrong direction unless she was shown the right catalyst to put her life back on track.

There was no need for Tali to linger upon this bunk if she was not going to attempt sleeping any longer. Although, it was not like she could go anywhere on board this shuttle without running into Garrus. She didn't want to talk to him as it was, for he had become almost unbearable to be around after the Afterlife debacle. As far as she was concerned, the turian's anger was completely misdirected. Who cared if the balance of power on Omega was suddenly shifted? That station had been dead to the galaxy for decades. She probably did many people a favor by participating in Aria's downfall, the more Tali thought of it. Besides, that asari had been in her way of finding out where John was, so in her eyes, that meant that Tali had the right to use whatever means she had at her disposal to pry the truth from whatever rock it happened to reside under.

A right _and_ a duty. The bonds of family were very much like the bonds between soldiers. But family came before anyone else, which was something many people took for granted around Tali. They did not respect her relationship with the human, a fact that she constantly felt she had to fight for which never failed to enrage her.

Fed up with sitting down, Tali got to her feet and quietly pried open the door to the main hold, wanting to stretch her legs. She peeked out from the doorway and glanced in all directions before pronouncing the room empty. Garrus must also be in his cot.

Tali then tiptoed out of her room and sat down in the table as she rummaged around beneath her chair. The other admirals of the fleet were known to keep stashes of their private stores in odd places on these ships. It was only a matter of knowing where to look.

* * *

Only separated by a thin metal wall, Garrus was indeed in his cot, but he was having trouble sleeping as well. The turian currently lay on his side after trying several uncomfortable positions, his armor scattered on the ground next to him, and he repeatedly tossed and turned as he tried to quiet his raging mind. Nothing seemed to be working as the hours slipped by, making Garrus wish he had the foresight to buy some sleeping pills while he was on Omega. It would be a blessing if one happened to magically show up right now.

In contrast, Garrus was not so much concentrating on what awaited them at the end of the FTL jump, but the events that had just occurred on the place they had just left. He could not get the image out of his head of the denizens of Omega scrambling over themselves in a bloodbath as the station began to suffocate, tearing itself apart from within. All he saw was the rivers of blood lapping at his heels, the eyes of the dead staring blankly at the ceiling, causing him to mentally shiver. What else would be happening on Omega now that Aria was dead? The gangs were certainly throwing themselves at their rivals and dozens upon dozens of innocents were being slaughtered as collateral damage. Lingering on the thought made him feel queasy.

It was all Tali's fault, he thought to himself. The loss of the station would never have happened if she would have been patient for a single solitary second! Where had that quarian gotten the courage to slip drugs in his drink in an effort to incapacitate him? This was one of his dearest friends that practically _poisoned_ him, and she expected him to simply understand her reasoning? Garrus knew that Tali was upset and undoubtedly had trouble reining in her emotions but this was utterly unreasonable on every level. Were it anyone else, Garrus would have had no trouble beating them within an inch of their life for such a stupid and brazen move, making sure to hammer in their utter idiocy with each bone-shattering blow.

But…to his shame, it was _Tali_ who had done this. What more could he do to her that was not already inflicted upon her? Garrus did not regret yelling at her, but what he did regret that had spilled out of his mouth was that he did not want anything to do with her anymore. That had been a complete lie, but it had seemed like he had to say it just to make Tali aware of the severity of the situation. She had just seemed so uncaring…so completely numb to her surroundings that shouting at her felt like it was the only way that his words could penetrate her thick skull. Of course he did not want to disband their friendship, but Garrus felt that he needed to understand Tali more to know why she had been pushed to such extremes. He was fumbling in the dark here, a blind man groping for a tangible surface. With Tali, he could feel nothing and that scared him.

What the quarian had not realized by this point is that others had promises they were trying to keep as well. Garrus too had his share that he agonized over, in part due to the monumentality of the task at hand, the other his lost soul seeking approval that he was doing well so far. The approval from someone he thought had been long gone.

It had been on Earth when Shepard approached him during the lull before the final push to the Crucible. Garrus remembered that he had been standing in the remnants of what appeared to be a library, mingling with Primarch Victus, when Shepard came up from the streets and requested a word. The two of them had talked while staring out over a deserted and ruined street, making light conversation with a nervously optimistic attitude in an effort to lighten the mood. After all, death could come for any of them and simply accepting that fact was the only thing keeping them sane at the moment.

It had been Garrus himself who had turned the topic over to what they would do in case they did die. Garrus remembered fondly making a deal with Shepard on meeting him at the bar in his version of heaven in case things went south, a comment that at least managed to draw a smile from the now-morose human. It was then that things got serious.

"_Garrus_," Shepard had said after a moment's pause, "_I will always have your back, whether I'm alive or in that bar, but there is something that I must ask of you. Something very important to me_."

"_Anything, Shepard_," Garrus remembered himself saying. "_Whatever it is you ask of me, I will do it_."

"_Are you sure?_" The human had responded with a wry smile. "_You might not want to hear what I have to say._"

"_Screw that, Shepard. You've done so much for me, for the galaxy, that I will follow you without a doubt to the depths of hell if need be. You're my friend and friends help each other out. What do you want of me?_"

"_Garrus, in the event that I do die and you live…I want…_" the human took a gulp at this point, _"…I want you to look after Tali for me. I want you to check up on her from time to time and make sure that she's okay_."

He had blinked at that, surprised by the request. "_Spirits, Shepard, I will do that for you, but you and I both know that you're going to live in that house on Rannoch with Tali anyway. If the Reapers haven't gotten you now, they're never going to get you._"

"_I just want all my bases covered_," Shepard had defended. "_Tali doesn't know of what I'm asking of you right now._ _She means everything to me and…and I know that she will be devastated if, in fact, I do get killed. And if that happens, I just want to have the assurance that someone is looking after her on my behalf. I want her to have the life she's dreamed of, Garrus, but I have to be realistic about the future_."

"_Realistic? The only realistic future that I can envision is you sharing that perfect life with your wife in the end. I mean, you're Commander Shepard, the man who has put fear in the Reapers themselves. You're not going to die today-"_

"_Just promise me, Garrus," _Shepard had begged_. "Promise me that you will help Tali when she needs it most."_

Garrus remembered that he wished he was anywhere else at the moment, but he had eventually drawn forth the courage to look Shepard in the eye and gave a miniscule nod._ "Okay…Shepard. I will do as you say. I will look in on Tali from time to time. That I promise you._ _But_-," he had made sure to interrupt with a jab of his finger against the man's armored chest, _"-for the record, if you do end up dying, I'll have to kill you. There's no Shepard without Vakarian, and you'd best not forget that_."

"_Thank you, Garrus_," Shepard had dipped his head gratefully after he had elicited a much-needed chuckle. "_That means everything to me, coming from you._"

"_I look forward to toasting your victory and overinflated sense of caution at the party afterward. Make no mistake, we're going to laugh about this moment for years to come. Now go out there and give them hell. You were born to do this!_"

"Famous last words, you idiot," Garrus savagely whispered to himself back in the present. "'No Shepard without Vakarian,' huh? Yeah, right. Is this what you envisioned, Shepard? Is this what you had in mind when you asked this of me? Tali…your wife…she loves you so much, but she is so distraught. I…I think…"

Garrus sat up and massaged his temples, throwing away his eyepiece onto the bed in frustration. "I'm _failing_ you, Shepard," he declared softly. "I know I said I would look after her, but I haven't kept her out of danger. Did you really want her to do all this for you, or should I have held her back?"

Garrus was not a praying man and he truthfully did not take much stock in spirits or apparitions, despite his upbringing. He surmised that his brief moment of spirituality was not going to glean any divine intervention from the dead. Hell, he still was referring to Shepard as though he _was_ dead. According to Tali, that had not been the case and it was apparently now definitive since she was adamant that she had shared a conversation with the man. No doubt about it, judging from her intense reaction, Shepard was alive. Cheated death twice and the human was still kicking, truly unbelievable.

He was looking forward to drawing Shepard out of whatever pit he had gotten himself stuck in…and then punching him for being such a hard-headed moron. The man would inevitably go back to living with Tali who would summarily settle down, while Garrus would try and scrape together the pieces of his former life. Garrus was not anticipating explaining his actions to the Primarch, conversely. That would undoubtedly cause an awkward line of questioning to arise, seeing as he did technically break a few of the Hierarchy's laws, but if Shepard would be rescued from his actions, then any punishment doled out to him would be well worth it in the end.

But right now, he still needed a way to occupy his thoughts. Sleeping was not a possibility right now and he was getting more restless the longer he sat in this cramped room. If only he had a drink in his hand, maybe then he would be able to relax. Actually, Garrus began to consider the prospects of raiding the main hold for alcohol of any sort now that he was approaching the verge of desperation. Sure, it was a long shot that a quarian shuttle would have a bottle of whatever conveniently ready for consumption, but the quest of searching for such a prize would at least allow him to kill fifteen minutes of the time he currently had in spades. Besides, the act of looking high and low might yield surprising rewards, so Garrus was relishing the prospects when he slid open the door to begin his hunt.

The first thing he noticed was the clink of a bottle being set down upon the table in the middle of the room and when his eyes finally adjusted to the dim light, Garrus could see Tali, her back to him as she hunched over what appeared to be a glass of clear liquid next to a bottle with a label he did not recognize. He felt a flash of anger at Tali having discovered whatever alcohol was in this boat, but he relented as soon as the impulse came. Instead he sidled over to Tali's side, noting that her hood appeared more rumpled than usual, and gave a meek cough as he pointed at the bottle.

"Hey…Tali?" Garrus gave a quick cough. "Mind if I partake?"

"_Gaaaarrus_," Tali slurred, her body language all wobbly. "Suuureeee. Take what you_…*hic*…_want!"

She clumsily pushed the half-empty bottle over in the turian's direction with the back of her hand. Her head was tilted away from Garrus and he quickly picked the bottle up, noting how much of the alcohol was left in the container's depths. He surmised that it had been full in the beginning and that the rest of the contents were now sloshing around in the quarian's stomach.

"Been here long, huh?" Garrus commented, a little concerned at the prospect that Tali had drunk half of what appeared to be a very potent liquor. She barely amounted to a lightweight as it was, anyway.

"Only 'bout an hour," Tali hiccupped, her voice oddly lacking an electronic tinge to it. She was still slumped over the desk that Garrus was unable to make out the small tics in her facial movements that her visor allowed, unable to make out the front of her head at least.

"Look, Tali," Garrus sighed as he found a cup and poured himself a few fingers of the drink. "I want to be honest with you right now, even though you might be a little too intoxicated to take this in at the moment-"

"I am _not_ intoxic-," Tali interrupted but struggled as she attempted to pronounce the word she was searching for, "….intox-…drunk. I'm _fine!_"

Garrus gave a small chuckle. He then took a sip from his cup and fought the urge to gag as his throat was suddenly on fire. How was Tali able to withstand this crap? It tasted like lubricant oil mixed with engine coolant. "If you say so," he managed to splutter before he caught his breath. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I…that I did not mean to say some things the other day."

"Like what?" Tali asked. Garrus blanched at that. Did she honestly not know or was the alcohol causing her to temporarily lose the ability to think further than a few minutes into the past?

"Like that I was going to break off our friendship after all this was done. I was upset at the time and…and I want you to know that I treasure our friendship, and that it will take more than that for anything to break it. What I'm trying to say is that…I'm sorry for saying that and for yelling at you."

"Thankssss," Tali mumbled and did not provide anything else of substance.

Garrus frowned at the one-word reply. If the quarian was sober, he definitely would have expected more of a reaction, but since she was drunk at the moment, this entire confession, short as it was, probably did not even register in her booze-addled head. At the very least, he expected an apology in return for her frightful behavior. Surely she must realize that what she did was wrong but even intoxicated, there did not seem to be a hint of remorse. Garrus wished that he had kept his mouth shut, but it was not like he could renege on his own apology. He could try again when Tali was less impaired, perhaps.

Tali's arm then fumbled out, reaching for something, her head staying right where it was. Garrus blinked, confused as to what she wanted, until her fumbling lips managed to utter a single word.

"Bottle."

The request was so blunt and so incredible that Garrus knew that he had to refuse in a second. He grabbed the bottle and held it firmly in his lap instead of surrendering it to the quarian, both hands wrapped around it so that it could not be tugged out of his grip.

"I think you've had enough, Tali," he said sternly.

Tali banged a fist on the table in retaliation. "Give me the bottle, Garrus."

"You've drunk enough," Garrus held his ground. "You're swimming in alcohol as it is."

"Enviro-suit doesn't lemme get drunk for very long," Tali mumbled pathetically. "It will…it will flush everything out in a few minutes. Just…just give me the bottle."

"Wait, how can it flush out the alcohol in your body?" This was news to him.

"Well," Tali giggled uncontrollably, "it involves a catheter that is connected to my-"

"And never mind," Garrus hastily interrupted. That was a little too much information for his taste.

"You know," Tali sighed dreamily, "_John_ would let me drink anything I wanted."

"Would he now? Sorry to disappoint, Tali, but I'm not Shepard. But we're going to get him so it probably be a good idea for you to hold off on the alcohol and let the suit perform a necessary detox on you. Where we're going, you don't want to be drunk."

"John would let me do a lot of things," Tali continued to ramble. "I…I could do so much more when he was around. And…and he asked me for so little in return."

"He's a good man, Tali," Garrus awkwardly patted the quarian's back. "You two deserve each other."

"Do we?" Tali's hand returned to fiddling with her own glass, a gloved finger lazily tracing the rim while a straw lay to the side. "A pair deserving of the other would remain by their side until the end, keeping the promises they made." Tali then turned her head towards Garrus and he responded by knocking over the bottle in alarm as his brain froze up, tipping the remains of the liquor all over the desk. "Does that sound about right to you, Garrus?"

"Oh…_shit_," Garrus gasped. Whereas he expected the dull purple sheen of Tali's visor to shine back at him the second her neck craned in his direction, the reality had proved to be completely different. That visor that Garrus' subconscious had filled in his vision for a split second registered in a completely different location now that he could see clearer; more specifically the visor was _not_ perched upon Tali's helmet but two feet lower, laying empty and alone on the table, previously hidden from Tali's hunched stance.

The face that peeked out from the helmet edges was far different than what he had been expecting. The extranet, as it turned out, had been a completely erroneous source when it came down to the fact of what quarian faces looked like. The majority of users seemed to think that their skin was purple, that they had weird flaps on their forehead, and that their ears were pointed like some mythological creature called an "elf." Apparently this was not the case, for Tali's face was a smooth gray, not purple, and her features were practically similar to a human's, not discounting the black marks that ran up from Tali's eyebrows up to her skull. Secretly, Garrus was a bit disappointed. He had always thought Tali had mandibles.

But such thoughts seemed wholly inappropriate now that Garrus realized Tali had been talking to him with her mask off the entire time, fully within range for her to pick up on whatever germs resided on his skin.

"T-Tali!" he exclaimed. "Your face!"

"What about it?" she murmured, her expression dreamy.

"What the – why did you take your visor off?!"

"Couldn't get this stupid emergency induction port into my slot," Tali grumbled as she flicked at the downed straw with a finger. "Got harder and harder to drink so I just removed the visor to drink for a little bit. No need to worry."

"I _am_ worrying! Don't just sit there!" Garrus practically screamed. "Put on your visor before you get sick!"

"And for what?!" Tali yelled back, annoyed that her haze had been pierced by Garrus' persistent attitude. She grabbed at her empty glass with her maimed hand and savagely threw it against the wall, spraying the wall with wickedly sharp shards. Garrus flinched backwards and knocked over the bottle, adding more broken glass to the fray from Tali's ferocious tone. He had never seen Tali so much as make a facial movement before and for her to be snarling in his face, her lips parted so that he could see her white and pointed teeth, was an uncanny experience that caused him to lose his grip on whatever argument he had in place.

"Why should _I_ care about getting sick and dying?!" Tali spat after she collected her breath. "Did _John_ think that way when he left me on Earth? He abandoned me for a year, fully knowing what he was doing! I had promised that I would _sing_ to him, Garrus! He promised that he would be there for that and then he…he…_aagh!_"

Tali smashed her fists down upon the table with a loud clang. Her fists made indents into the flimsy metal and her entire body trembled with emotion. Garrus could only stare, transfixed, as he watched tears steadily roll down the face of the quarian, witnessing her face come alive as the intense feelings washed upon her like waves from the ocean.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, Tali's eyes bulged from her sockets and her cheeks puffed out. Garrus knew what she was going to do in an instant and fumbled for a bag draped over the side of his chair. He got it underneath Tali just in time for her to bend over, wheeze, and violently vomit into the bag. Garrus winced at the noises of the quarian upchucking. They were loud and nausea-inducing, even though that he had to go through this same thing recently – albeit not entirely on his own accord.

"It's okay," Garrus said soothingly as he rubbed Tali's back while she helplessly coughed and gargled. "You just had too much to drink. That's it, just let it out. That's it…"

Tali spat to clear her mouth, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Garrus passed her a rag and she grabbed at it, wiping her face to scour it clean. She made a few loud coughs into the cloth and listlessly let it fall from her fingers. Garrus took the now-used bag and dropped it into the waste dispenser for the automated system to cycle it out into space.

"I…I hate him, Garrus…" Tali whispered, her voice now hoarse from throwing up. "I love him…and I hate him." She gave a timid laugh. "Is…is such a thing possible? I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life and for a whole year I thought that such a dream would never be possible. He chose the galaxy over _me_, Garrus. He…John took any hope I had held onto with his death…but then when I learned he was alive once again, he brought it back. Can one hate someone for putting me through that?"

Garrus could not answer that with authority, so he gave a meek shrug. Tali took that as a sign to continue, her eyes flickering in all directions nervously. "Some days I wish that John had never gone up there…up to the Crucible. I would rather him have let the galaxy die, have _us_ die, so that we would have been together until the end. Being alone is…is a far worse fate than dying, Garrus. I've wanted to kill myself since then, but I could never find the courage to try. Yes, suicide was once on my mind for a long time, I admit it. What is the point of living if you cannot share it with anyone else, someone who understands you completely? Someone who loves you? And for leaving me alone for so long, without me knowing he was still alive, I hate him. But…I will always love him."

It was like witnessing a skycar wreck comprising of several dozen participants, one that Garrus could not tear his eyes away from. He felt like he did not want to hear any more of this painful confession and reached across the table to pluck Tali's visor up. He then held the covering out to the quarian.

"Tali," he begged, "none of that matters anymore. I understand the pain you're going through, but can't you see you're causing others pain as well? _Please_, Tali, put your mask back on. If…if you do die because of this, before you see Shepard again, I'll never forgive myself. Do you want me to live with that on my conscience? Do you?"

"Pain…" Tali murmured, her eyes lidded and droopy. Almost absentmindedly, her dexterous fingers lifted themselves from the table and delicately took her mask from Garrus' hands. With a series of clicks and hisses, the covering was back into place, the glow from her eyes and the faint outline of her noise now the only things apparent from Garrus' view. "I…I want to see him again, Garrus."

"I know, Tali. I know."

Tali sighed and her body shifted as she yawned. A quiet sucking noise sounded as the enviro-suit's antibiotic program began to initialize, dispensing medication into Tali's system to ward off potential infections. Tali did not seem to notice the stinging sensations and she yawned again. "So much pain…"

Without warning, her body began to topple forward as the glow from her eyes was cut off as her eyelids closed. It took a beat for Garrus to realize what was happening, but just in time, he leaned forward and caught the quarian just as she was about to fall out of her chair. As he was bringing her upright again, he could hear a snuffling sound coming from the helmet's vocabulator. Tali was snoring.

"Unbelievable," Garrus said to himself. He placed a hand underneath Tali's legs and gently lifted her up, carrying her over to her bunk. He settled the quarian down on the hard bed, lingering a minute to make sure that she was sound asleep before he closed the door on her.

The chronometer in the cockpit was indicating that there were only less than four hours until the shuttle would arrive in the Attican Beta system, but Garrus surmised that he would not get his chance to sleep through them. There was just too much on his mind.

He put his hands underneath his chin and began the process of concentrating grimly. Garrus' expression never changed once in the span of an hour. Memories of Shepard came forth from the swirling melee and he was able to feel relief.

That relief, however, never translated into sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Longest chapter yet and passed the 150,000 word mark too. The slow burn is about to come to a boil as each path begins to intersect. I've been anticipating this moment for months.**

**On another note, I just finished up the main story of Metal Gear Solid V the other day, and I what I have to say is, what a game! Definitely a contender for best of the year. Tight gameplay, intriguing story, and a great soundtrack. Seriously, the music reminds me of Mass Effect so much that I wouldn't mind if that composing team took a crack at Andromeda. Tracks like "V Has Come To", "Parasites", "Return", and "Sahelanthropus Domain" should render them worthy of consideration at least. The standout track, "Quiet's Theme" also could be repurposed as a nice threnody to symbolize Tali in this story, considering the glum subject matter.**

**That's my two cents on the matter at least. Anyway, back to writing. Still got a few more chapters to bang out, then that will be that.**

**Add: Views really picked up on the last chapter for some reason (must have been the change in tags) so I would like to extend a sincere thanks to the guests who took their time in reviewing this story since then. ******The reception from all readers has been very thoughtful since the beginning and I really don't give you guys enough credit, so I would like to thank you as well. ** I know I'm not the best at replying to reviews unless direct questions are posed (I'm need to work on that), but I hope that you continue to drop in a word or several until the end. **

**And here's my token advertisement for the day: why not take a gander at ArchReaperN7's story _Holocaust_ \- a very detailed and engaging entry in his ME series that focuses on a radically different MShep/Tali that I've read thus far. Granted, that endorsement is probably skewed as I don't read that much FF to begin with, but false it is not. Getting back on track, the guy needs some reviews - he's been a dedicated writer of his own series for a long time and with Tairis Deamhan and Full-Paragon currently MIA (or at least operating at erratic intervals), we need to keep interest for these stories up out of dedication for our favorite character.**


	17. Chapter 16: Dead Gods Can Dream

Cygnus X-3

The space around them appeared to wobble for a second and then the fast blue streaks heading by the shuttle slowed down like they had been suddenly submerged in a thick liquid. The bright lights from FTL, shining in the darkness, faded to reveal the deep blackness that was their own dimension, the plane where physical matter could appropriately interact with one another.

What was waiting for them at the end was a psychedelic motley of hues so vivid it hurt Tali's eyes, even through her visor. Red, green, and yellow blared brightly at them from the nebula surrounding them, particles of dust, hydrogen, and helium swirling around what appeared to be a black dot parked in the center of the eternal conflagration. It could have been mistaken for the shadow of a wayward planet or moon, but it was the way that gravity was affected around the pinprick that gave away its true form. The dot pulled in matter and light around it, creating beautiful rings orbiting around the singularity: a black hole.

As Tali leaned forward to look more closely out the viewport at the strangely beautiful sight, a huge object lazily rotated into the shuttle's path, quickly obscuring her line of sight and creating a collision hazard. Warning lights rang shrilly along the dashboard and caution symbols began to flare up, urging the pilot to take evasive maneuvers.

"Spirits!" Garrus exclaimed and yanked the yoke back. The shuttle shot up sharply and narrowly avoided a pillar of dark metal, barely brushing the undercarriage as it passed by. Sparks flew for a second as metal scraped against metal but the feeling of panic soon faded as the shuttle cleared the obstacle, already recovering from the slight contact.

There had been no time to determine what it is they had only been seconds from slamming into, but movement in her peripheral vision caused Tali to turn her head, spotting another outline out the corner of the viewport. As the shuttle resumed its current course, she could see the object come more clearly into focus as the light from the nebula hit it at just the right angle. The shape of the form was quite familiar; a large body the size of a heavy cruiser. There were five metal pillars anchored to the "bottom" of the craft, paired with six semi-jointed appendages extending from the back of a semi-cylindrical body. The enormous construct was so well-acquainted with her recent memory that she felt another lump travel up her throat again, despite her enviro-suit having had enough time to clear her body of toxins in the past few hours. The alcohol had been purged, but the nauseating sensations lingered.

The object was a Reaper. A dead one, to be precise, but a Reaper nonetheless.

Transfixed, Tali's gaze traveled from the initial hulk to spot another similarly-shaped Reaper floating in the distance, some thousands of kilometers away. Then she found another, and another, made visible from their black outlines against the colors of the nebula that enveloped them all. Attempting to count them, Tali stopped at around thirty and stared in wonder at the thousands of Reapers all suspended around them, some shattered beyond recognition, others perfectly intact. No signs of life emanated from their exteriors, nor did the shuttle's sensors pick up any electrical readings. They had stumbled upon a Reaper graveyard.

"Keelah," Tali said in astonishment. "There's so _many_."

"Yeah," Garrus nodded numbly. "I've heard about this place, but never thought that we'd ever come here. This is where all of the Reapers were transported to after the war, a lonely corner of Attican Beta, collected in one place so that we could take stock of them all."

"But for what purpose?"

"Disposal," Garrus pointed out. "The very idea of organizing the Reaper hulks here is so that we will eventually nudge them towards the black hole over there: Cygnus X-3. It was deemed that the only thing capable of eradicating the Reapers permanently was a singularity like that, and the Hierarchy selected a black hole far away from any major population center so as to arouse less suspicion from the gathering of these things."

Tali felt like an insect under scrutiny, passing by these titans of destruction. "And…you're sure they're all dead?"

"Positive. We had research teams attempt to glean any spare tech from the wreckage but the Crucible really did disable every single working part on those Reapers. That's why no one patrols this area, given the fact that eventually the black hole will pull in all these hulks into its depths and that the radiation emitted from the black hole is so strong that if we were to venture outside, we would be dead almost instantly thanks to the presence of ultra-high-energy cosmic rays. Doesn't stop some vorcha from traversing here every once in a while, though. Those Blood Pack parasites take anything they can get their hands on."

"How high energy is _ultra_-high-energy?" Tali asked nervously.

"Between a hundred and a thousand Tera electron volts. So, that's pretty damn high."

The shuttle soldiered on, making sure to stay clear of the large bits of wreckage that drifted in their presence. Garrus clutched at the controls, slightly unnerved. Tali wavered between glancing at the ladar panel to the window, hoping that her eyes could catch a glimpse of something the instrumentation could not.

After half an hour of cruising amongst the rubble, Garrus still had not lost his trepidation, his eyes too frantically scanning the horizon. Tali, similarly, was jittering all over the seat with excitement, simultaneously nervous at being so physically close to Shepard, yet frustrated at having no clue where he was in this entire mess.

"Tali, I…" Garrus muttered before he threw up his hands. "Look at this. We're not picking anything up on the instruments in this place. All that's here are scores of dead Reapers, which are just messing up our range when it comes to scanning the entire area, not to mention the high energy being emitted from the black hole that could be confusing our equipment. At this rate, we'll be here for the rest of our lives in searching for Shepard."

Tali too had considered this possibility, but was not willing to admit defeat quite so soon. The Illusive Man's facility certainly was well hidden, she had to give him that. Could it be that he had managed to move, despite her persistence in searching for him? Had she arrived too late to save her husband?

But now that she thought about it, Cerberus did not use much discretion when constructing their bases, from what she had previously seen. They were either hijacked stations, or ludicrously close to any source of danger, because the Illusive Man cared not for the cost of human lives so long as his dark research was being accomplished. And what better place to create a base than on a derelict and cursed ship itself?

"That's because," she leaned forward and punched in new coordinates that sent them rocketing away at a faster speed, "Shepard is not on some space station. He's on one of the _Reapers_."

Garrus let out a strangled laugh. "Okay, that's all well and good, but in case you haven't noticed, Tali, there's _thousands_ of Reapers around here. How the hell are we going to find the right one with Shepard in it?"

"Simple," Tali gritted her teeth as she input a new set of parameters into the ladar scanner. "Look for the only ship with a different profile." She punched the enter button and instantly a ping appeared, denoting a target just ten minutes away at their current speed.

Somewhat hesitant, Garrus guided the shuttle in the direction of the beacon, but was thoroughly awed once the large form of the Reaper in question jutted out from a hazy cloud of frozen hydrogen gas, pure black armor against the brilliantly colored backdrop. Instead of the five "legs" most Reapers possessed, this model had only four, but its main strut was noticeably taller and the front side had a secondary ridge that pronounced its "face" more prominently. There was only one Reaper like this in recorded existence and everything quickly made sense for Garrus as he let out a sigh.

"Of course," he muttered as the shuttle edged closer. "How could I have forgotten?"

"_Harbinger_," Tali announced grimly. "The Illusive Man would have appreciated the symbolism. Shepard is inside that monster."

"Into the belly of the beast," Garrus said as he nudged the craft forward towards a docking port. "It's as good of a place as any to look, and I can't believe I just said that."

EM scans of the ship denoted an airlock on the left side of the monstrosity. There were also tiny pinpricks of heat coming from inside the ship, which helped solidify Tali's choice in coming here. Garrus expertly docked the shuttle and cycled the seals, locking the craft into place. The turian was about to put his helmet on until he took a glance at the panel.

"That's odd," he murmured.

"What's odd?" Tali asked.

"According to this, there's apparently a breathable atmospheric mix within the Reaper. Proper nitrogen-oxygen content – everything's within green levels."

"What do you expect? Cerberus has obviously reclaimed this place for use as a base. It would make sense for them to implement oxidizers for their staff to work."

"That's not all," Garrus said with a grimace. "Proximity sensors have picked up at least two unknown signatures that are running their engines loud in the general area. They're bound to notice our craft protruding from Harbinger if they get close."

"Paav?" Tali asked in alarm.

"Or Nitherius. Perhaps both." Garrus punched the switch to open the door, flooding the shuttle with stale air. He took a deep breath and coughed, his lungs inhaling a mouthful of dust. "In any case, we'd better hurry."

The corridor beyond was not exactly the embodiment of warm and inviting. It was very much like the last time Tali had seen the interior of a Reaper: cold and sterile. She did not say a word as she took point, keeping her assault rifle shouldered the whole way. No quips were exchanged between them, nothing that tried to keep the atmosphere any less frosty than it already was.

What was odd about this place was that a stand of portable lights was set up in the hallway next to a small, portable generator. It was so obviously low-tech compared to the rest of the Reaper that it denoted that people in fact were residing here. Lighting was important as the Reaper had no power (supposedly) and the hard contours and bright colors of the equipment were in direct contrast to the smooth and curved steel of the vessel, and the dark hues that slithered in the shadows.

In fact, there seemed to be a lot of this additional tech that lay scattered around the area. Scaffolding, barriers, a few spare consoles here and there, the place was set up to accommodate living beings that the inorganic host undoubtedly would have shunned. The doors that separated the Reaper into sections looked like new additions as well, presumably to prevent a destabilizing decompression in case the Reaper's outer shell happened to be breached. This also allotted for the small airlocks that had been punched into the ship, ostensibly to facilitate easier space-walks to procure items of interest that were floating out there. Organics had no chance of venturing out into this radiation-saturated space so such portals were most likely designed with drones in mind.

Tali knew that this particular Reaper, Harbinger, was as dead as could possibly be, but that did not stop her gut from filling with dread. She had seen what had happened to a team of Cerberus scientists simply from residing in this creature for too long a couple years ago, and that was within a supposedly dead Reaper as well. In theory, since the Crucible had knocked out every single solitary Reaper component, she surmised that she and Garrus should be completely safe from the effects of indoctrination unlike those scientists. But then again, no one had been brave enough to test such a theory since then. Guess they were going to have to take such a hypothesis on faith.

Beyond the initial gateway, the path took a hard right turn, exposing the inner workings of the demon for all to see. Tali lowered her rifle in amazement as she took in the spectacular sight. She could see for what seemed like miles throughout the cavernous interior of Harbinger. Balconies several stories above shimmered light from more of the portable riggings, further evidence of life. Spires shaped like blades thrust into the air, curved like claws of a wild beast. Tubes and piping hung overhead like intestines, dripping mercury into a corner. A hint of gas hissed nearby; something was leaking xenon judging from the bluish cloud that hung in the air near the array of dragon's teeth.

There was another door behind Tali, but the current platform they were standing on extended to around the corner. A fork in the road. There was no map for them to go by, so none of them had any idea of which route to take, which necessitated only one thing to do.

"We should split up," Tali declared.

Garrus gave her a hard look. "Are you sure that's wise, Tali? There's no telling if one of us might need help-"

Tali jerked her thumb, the hand with only two fingers, back the way they came. "If what you saw on the shuttle was accurate, we've got at least one hunter on our tail. We can't afford to turn back because of a wrong path; we need to find John _now_ and that means doing anything that can expedite the process_._"

"I don't know, what if-"

"There's no time!" Tali urged with a nudge of her gun. "Try to see if you can locate the Reaper's core, that's our best place to find him."

"The core?" Garrus looked puzzled. "Why the core?"

Tali sighed at the density of the turian. "The core is where Cerberus will most likely be performing the majority of their experiments, seeing as that is where the strange technology can be most easily accessed. John will be there, and if not, we will find something – or someone – that will be able to tell us where. Now go! Hurry!"

Garrus stumbled back up a step, obviously torn. He gave one last pained look before he turned and headed through the side door. Tali wasted no time with considering his departure from her presence; there were bigger issues to worry about. She clambered around the catwalk and followed the portable lighting, her eyes glancing over every single object that could be used to provide an ambush against her.

She had good reason to worry. When she was in the Reaper that Shepard and her first found Legion, the geth soldier that had opened her eyes to the true nature of the boogeymen of her upbringing, the place had been completely swarmed with enemies, indoctrinated from lingering inside the Reaper for too long. Husks had seemingly appeared from within the walls, clambered underneath the floor, just to rush Shepard and his squad and rip them limb from limb. There had been abominations that detonated into bloody chunks if one walked too close to them and scions that spewed a viscous acidic fluid. The Reaper had altered their life energies, turning them into pawns for their game of galactic conquest. What fresh horrors were in store for her this time?

Yet after walking for several minutes, it became apparent that there were hardly any of those mutated freaks to worry about here, much less any enemies at all. The entire place seemed to be deserted, to Tali's simultaneous wonderment and consternation. The absence of husks and scions - that could be properly explained. What could not be explained was the seemingly lack of any Cerberus presence in the area. The lighting and atmospheric equipment she had passed did not even have their logo upon it. Had things gotten so bad for that organization that they had to outsource their own tools and that they were woefully understaffed?

The light from the dying nebula seeped through the pores of the metal skin, illuminating the synthetic cavern. Tali, basking in the greenish glow, began to take off in a jog, her metal boots clanking upon the thick surface. The prospect of an enemy encounter was all thrown away in her head. She felt that quick action was the only thing she could take. After all, through the next door, around the next corridor, it would only take the right pathway to direct her to her objective.

A distant hiss seeped above the scattering of sparks caused from a torn bit of wiring. It was the most organic sound that had been emitted thus far, and that was not a good sign. Tali skidded to a halt and ducked behind a nearby barrier. She checked to see if a thermal clip was properly loaded in her rifle, switching the setting to use armor-piercing rounds. Cautiously, Tali rose up and checked to see if the coast was clear, and began to skirt into the next room.

Tali found herself facing a pathway that ran over a cluster of pipes. The floor sloped downward for two meters to flatten out and then it rose again, bringing the walkway back to its regular height. The filtered light ran red, the color of rust, so deep that it seemed like it was spearing Tali through the gut, causing her veins to clot solid from the imaginary decay. Now going at an agonizingly slow pace, Tali began to walk down the first slope, making sure that her boots hit heel first to roll through the balls of her feet, creating as little sound as possible. A creaking sound filled the air followed by clacking, like someone was tapping on a nearby pipe. Tali flicked the safety on her gun to on and back to off again, just to make sure. She carefully rotated in place so that her weapon's field of view covered everything to her front, but she flinched nonetheless when a hint of a white shape stepped out from behind a hidden corridor.

The suit of armor was scratched and blackened in many areas, but the white color was blinding nonetheless. Bands of black and yellow wrapped around the arms and legs, adorning a sinister seal that seemed to glare right at Tali. The helmet was black with white accents, the visual receptors glowing an evil red. The bulky soldier carried a submachine gun, to which he began raising at Tali after giving a throaty yowl in alarm.

Tali was quicker on the draw, though. Her unsilenced weapon barked twice and the Cerberus soldier fell backwards, missing part of his head. The reverberations from the discharge resounded all over the chamber for so long that Tali thought they would never end. She closed her eyes regretfully; she had just given away her position for anyone listening within the Reaper. Still the echo continued, a taunting report that bounced off every single piece of warped metal.

The noise was finally drowned out by clomping footsteps that appeared from the opposite corridor. Tali readied her weapon with a snarl. If Cerberus wanted to throw everything at her right now, they were welcome to it. It did not matter, she had at least won some victory by proving their presence in this place. Small beans compared to the real prize at hand, though. She ducked behind a curved set of tubing, the muzzle of her rifle peeking out between a good spot for cover.

Without fail, a sudden crowd of troopers began pouring out from the other end, stomping down the ramp to see what all the fuss was about. They all carried the insignia of Cerberus, the hated organization, upon their arms, and they were all growling their displeasure at their solitude becoming ruined. Their helmets turned this way and that, unable to see Tali behind the tubes. So mad that she was almost frothing at the mouth, Tali recklessly stood up and wandered into plain view, forgetting about her cover, her weapon at her hip.

"_Here I am, you bastards!_" she screamed as she firmly held the trigger down.

The armor-piercing rounds rocketed into the bodies of the troopers, their shields sparking and failing as the bullets smashed through them. A few shots were hurled in the direction of the quarian, but they harmlessly smacked off her superior shielding. The leftover kinetic energy from the bullets that Tali's shields were unable to redirect still created bruises where they hit, nonetheless, and she could feel the impacts hurt from underneath her suit. Tali snarled and backpedaled, watching the first line of enemies fall as their riddled bodies could no longer support themselves. Still more soldiers kept running in, their yells unintelligible as they tried to ascertain control of the situation.

"_Quarian!_" one of them yelled out shrilly. "Quarian in-"

The trooper's neck was suddenly pierced by a bullet sent by Tali and he fell clutching his throat. Blood spurted out from between his fingers and he gargled, some of it streaming down the area where his chin met his helmet. His cohorts met similar fates; they died as Tali's precise aiming hurled them down to the floor. Armor cracked and splintered. Flesh rendered and tore. Blood misted and flew. Tali screamed and yelled.

The _rat-a-tat_ of the assault rifle against Tali was beginning to numb her shoulder. The noise had already overwhelmed her audio receptors, causing her to only hear static on top of a dull ring. The flashes from her rifle's discharge blinded her and she swirled the gun in all directions, making sure to hit everything in front of her, even if she could not see that well anymore.

Tali switched, in the middle of reloading, to inferno rounds and the already reddish interior of the corridor suddenly brightened as flame blossomed from the burning troopers. Screeches of pain rose above the din as the flesh of humans popped and melted. Tali could hardly see past the growing flames and she sprinted through them before the flickering fingers brushed the ceiling. Heat groped at her momentarily, but she barely felt the blisters forming on her arms. Midway through her leap, she could barely make out the humanoid outline of a man grabbing at his own face, trying to prevent his blackened mask from sliding off his skull as his features distorted like wax. Tali felt nothing for the man and put him out of her mind without a second thought. She rolled on the ground after she had cleared the flickering flames, dousing the small ignitions that had caught parts of her hood ablaze.

A hand reached out for her through the hellfire, belonging to a different trooper, a Centurion, that had not perished just yet. Grasping at her knife, Tali whirled while on the ground and took off the human's hand at the wrist. She saw a quick shock of white bone before the man clasped his other hand around the fresh stump and howled. Darting forward, Tali slashed at the soldier's neck, exposing glistening muscle and fat after a deluge of blood had spilled to the ground, assuredly killing him. She backed up and got to her feet, her weapon back in her hands.

The Cerberus troopers were all behind her now, either dead or dying horrifically from the flames. No one else was marching in from the corridor beyond to stop her. Before Tali left, she primed a grenade and rolled it into the quivering mass of bodies she had left behind. The detonation was muffled as she headed into the next room from all of the roasted flesh, creating wet smacks upon the walls.

The combat high had doused her internal system with vital hormones. Tali felt rejuvenated, better than ever. She felt like she could take on everyone in this cursed place by herself. The adrenaline that pumped through her gave her the sensation of fearlessness and invincibility. Her heart was beating so fast that it seemed like it would burst clear of her enviro-suit – in part from the possibility of death but more so from the anticipation of meeting her beloved again.

There was no time to wait. She had to continue. Her life seemed to hold no other purpose.

* * *

Nitherius was never one to be easily unnerved, but certain circumstances did occasionally lend themselves to odd moments like these. He had to concede that there would be few people in this galaxy that could walk inside a Reaper itself and _not_ be affected by fear, to allay his concerns. Somehow, he figured that Tali'Shepard happened to be one of those people. Based on her current _modus operandi_, that woman would let nothing affect her, not even a potential spell of indoctrination. It was an admirable trait to possess, although it was more frustrating for Nitherius as he was constantly the one on the receiving end of it.

His ship's EM scanner had picked up the profile of Tali's shuttle just moments ago, oddly finding it attached to the biggest Reaper in the Cygnus X-3 area. He wondered if Tali really thought that Shepard would be hidden somewhere in that monstrosity, but he could not waste time theorizing when he knew that Garrus was with the quarian on that ship as well. It was the turian he wanted; Paav could do what he wished with Tali.

Knowing that the area was lightly patrolled, making it a prime place for scavenger activity, Nitherius made a point to pack all the weapons he could afford. A vorcha cell of the Blood Pack was known to reside here; scavengers that stole pieces of Reaper technology from the hulks that dotted this corner of space. Never mind that the technology was worthless, it was the fact that the Hierarchy was going to so much trouble to dispose of these machines and parts of them were constantly being nicked under their noses. If it were not for the deadly penetrating radiation, Nitherius would have appealed the Primarch for extra manpower delegated to protect the disposal site here. Nothing he could do about that now except focus on his own mission.

Ladar scans had showed that there were four access points on the Reaper in total. The odd thing was that two happened to be occupied. Tali's shuttle was latched into place on the left side of the Reaper, but on the right, an unfamiliar craft – scuffed and rectangular – held on for dear life. Probably a Blood Pack craft, which meant unwanted company. Nitherius had parked his own craft next to the unknown one on the right side of the Reaper and departed with Paav right behind him, weapons at the ready.

Paav broke off from him shortly after they came to a hallway with multiple paths. It had been the quarian's suggestion as a means to cover more ground. It sounded like a good idea to Nitherius and it did not seem that a seasoned soldier like Paav would be useless in a potential firefight if things got hairy. If the quarian did run into the wanted pair, he would be smart enough to radio for help. So he hoped.

That had been fifteen minutes ago and Nitherius had seen not a single living soul since then. He had gone from tiptoeing quietly around every corner to stomping down the catwalks and corridors in frustration in that time. He hated this place. Every second he spent in here gave him the sensation of his windpipe slowly constricting, threatening to choke him. Certainly that could not be an effect of indoctrination, this Reaper was dead! Or was it? Nitherius could not say for certain, which only added to the demoralizing atmosphere inside this cursed vessel.

The Spectre flitted his gaze across the endless pits, the hazy lighting, and the sinister spikes that threatened to spear him if he walked in the wrong direction. The contours here were just as inorganic as his left limb. No warmth to them, only designed for their cold functions. He gave a huff of impatience. He had been walking alone here for too long and this Reaper was too damn big for him to cover effectively. Nitherius wished he had some tech probes, that way he could have scouted ahead for any organic life signs, but here he was, wandering practically in the dark with absolutely no clue on where to proceed. If it was not going to potentially give away his position, Nitherius would have screamed in rage.

Just then, his ears picked up a dull bass reverberation that caused him to stop in his tracks. The characteristic thump-thump of an assault rifle on automatic was a sound he knew very well. Gunfire ironically meant life in this place! Nitherius raced to the nearest guardrail and extended his neck as far as he dared above the chasm. From the twists and turns of the metal canyon, it was impossible to determine exactly where the noise of gunfire was emanating from, although he had a vague impression that the source of which was in the direction he had been traveling.

"Paav, did you hear that?" Nitherius spoke into his omni-tool. "Paav, are you the one firing? Report."

There was only static across the band, which either meant that the signal was being jammed, the hull of the Reaper naturally interfered with transmissions, or that the quarian had been killed from the gunfire he had heard in the first place. Well, he was not just going to stand here and do nothing. This called for immediate action.

Making sure that the safety on his rifle was securely in the off position, Nitherius ducked his head and took off, practically flying down the ramps as he noisily made his way through the bowels of the Reaper. The muted reports of weapons fire kept bouncing off of the jagged walls, gradually becoming louder and louder the further Nitherius continued. Portals and thresholds were left in the dust as the turian's pace became more frantic, his feet making heavy clomping sounds as he desperately tried to run faster.

A nearby door beckoned, providing a respite from the never-ending crevasses and into a more confined hall. Nitherius took the opening and raced inside only to wheel to a stop as he practically ran into an equally startled group of humans, all heavily armed.

Nitherius balked as seven humans began screaming at him to drop his weapon, spittle flying from their mouth. He took a moment's glance at his assailants before he gently bent his knees and set his rifle on the ground. He even kicked it in the direction of the closest human for good measure. He was not loath to giving up his weapon - he still had three pistols slotted around his waist - but it was better to comply when he was currently outnumbered and outgunned. An opening would present itself in due time, an opportunity like that never failed to rear its head.

The Spectre kept his hands raised while he glared at the humans. This was not what he had been expecting. Blood Pack, maybe. Tali or Garrus, definitely. Humans, not at all. What were these guys doing here? And for that matter, the fat bastard in the middle was definitely a human he had seen before. Four hundred pounds, uneven beard, even a rank stench to boot. Where did he know this man from?

"Keep your hands up!" one of the humans screamed.

"They _are_ up," Nitherius snarkily responded.

The human's face blanched in confusion. "What did you say, asshole?"

"I said they _are_ up!" Nitherius emphasized. He had thought he had been rather clear when he had uttered the phrase the first time.

Yet the group of humans looked just as lost as before. Several of them were whispering not so subtly to the other that Nitherius was able to make out, "…_can't understand this fucker_…" quite clearly. Apparently this group of humans were not informed enough to know that turian possess significantly better hearing abilities. Woe be unto them.

But not being able to understand him? What was this all about? What kind of person in this day and age with an omni-tool would not be able to understand-

_Wait a minute_, Nitherius thought. He took a good look around the group, making sure to analyze each one clearly before he could come to a conclusion. The equipment that the humans were using around him was comparatively low-tech. They wore some kind of primitive body armor, as befitting their weapons. Their firearms looked ancient, like they had been manufactured in the last century. Hell, they did not even have any mass effect field generators on them. But the most telling sign was the fact that none of them were utilizing their omni-tools for support. And why would someone not use an omni-tool unless they did not _have_ one?

Then it hit him. These humans were from the same gang that he had encountered back on Earth, the ones with a vendetta against technology. The same obese leader was standing right in front of him now – Argeir, he remembered the man's name now.

Nitherius searched inside his head for the knowledge he had accumulated on human languages through his subliminal inclination training and began to move his tongue around the unfamiliar words. "I said…" he spoke haltingly after he turned his translator off, struggling with the correct pronunciation and his strong accent, "…that my hands…are already…up."

That seemed to register on the group. Argeir waddled forward and gave a wheeze. "So, you can speak our language after all," the man coughed out.

"Only well enough," Nitherius admitted, his brain wracking itself as it searched high and low for the correct sentence formation.

The warlord gave a stiff smile but quickly barked to his henchmen, "Is this him? Is this Vakarian?"

The rest of the humans made confused faces but Nitherius gave out a burst of laughter at hearing that. "Are you serious? Do I look anything like Vakarian to you?"

The group of humans gave disinterested shrugs. "I dunno, boss. Kinda does look like him…but I'm not entirely certain."

"The notice said that we should be on the lookout for a turian accompanying a quarian," Argeir indicated. "Here happens to be a turian. No quarian female accompanying him, but this is close enough."

"You humans are all racist," Nitherius sighed, his hands still raised. "Do all alien species just happen to look alike to you? Vakarian is several shades lighter than me and wears _blue_ face paint, you idiots! Use your damn minds!"

"Boss," one of the scrawny looking humans said, "you absolutely sure this is the one? Got it on good faith that my cousin did indeed see a turian a lighter color than this blackish fellow here back in Prague."

"Well, that anonymous tip said that the fuckers who tramped all over my territory were here," Argeir muttered to the group, ignoring Nitherius. "Also, your cousin was a junkie too hopped up on speed for things to make any sort of sense to him. That is why he got himself killed from an overdose in that brothel. Besides, this turian is rude enough that I think we should kill him out of principle."

"Anonymous…tip?" Nitherius repeated before he gave a soft chuckle. "Ah, I see now. _You're_ the contingency that Xen threatened about. What, were you guys advertising that you had a bone to pick with Vakarian and Shepard? Is that how she found you?"

Argeir looked lost. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about. We've been searching all over the system for you until a contact from Aria T'Loak messaged us with a job. Something about taking revenge on the two who stole my associate, Danton Leveque, and murdered him in cold blood. Gave us the destination coordinates and everything. You should know this, Vakarian. You were there, after all. CCTV recorded all your movements, we know who you are!"

"I was on Earth to witness the events you speak of, yes," Nitherius admitted. "But I did not kill your associate, nor am I called Vakarian. I am Verdis Nitherius, Council Spectre, and if you fire upon me you risk your own death. Killing a Spectre is a felony punishable by life imprisonment at the minimum but no one has ever taken one down and lived for very long afterward. Are you going to take that chance?"

"Take that chance?" Argeir belched in glee. "How will the Council ever pin your murder onto us? No one will find your body in a place like this. In all honesty, this is as foolproof as it can possibly get."

Nitherius eyed the weapons that the six henchmen flanking Argeir were carrying with a practiced eye. "And you're sure that those little firecrackers are going to inflict any damage on me? You'd have more success rushing at me with spears, I'm afraid."

"That's what _you_ think," one of the humans grinned as he racked the slide of his shotgun. "We've all got Mossbergs and Kalashnikovs. They fire rounds at lower speeds than what your shields pick up, turian. We've prepared for this, you see. Here, allow me to demonst-!"

The human stepped forward and pulled the trigger in the middle of his own sentence, sending a blast in Nitherius' direction. The turian was expecting a nasty impact, but he was not prepared for what happened next. The pellets slammed directly into Nitherius' armor, passing right through where his protective shields should have engaged to stop the onslaught. Most of the rounds pinged off of the Spectre's armor, but a few pellets managed to penetrate the bodysuit on his right side, causing spurts of blue blood to spill onto the floor.

Nitherius dropped to a knee with a yell, his right hand automatically coming to his injured side, rapidly becoming slippery with his own life. That damned human had been telling the truth after all. His shields were meant to only activate if an object traveling at near light speeds was headed in his direction. Projectile rounds barely comprised a fraction of that speed, well underneath the threshold to engage his personal shields.

The group of humans began laughing amongst themselves, obviously amused to the sight of someone in pain. They began cocking and loading their weapons menacingly while Nitherius groaned in his subdued position.

"Ah…" the turian hissed as he pried his blue-stained hand away from his side. _Bunch of sadists_. "So _that's_ the way it's going to be."

Without giving the humans another chance to retaliate, Nitherius wrenched his left hand up and felt it transform as a series of metal clicks reverberated through his arm. Not restricted from armor or a bodysuit, the dark and cold metal arm hissed for a moment before a radical change happened. His hand suddenly split into two parts, each sharing one and a half fingers, and then his forearms separated as well. The rest of the arm divided all the way up to the shoulder, two arms now rotating on the left side where there had been only one previously. The now three-armed turian reached down and plucked the three pistols he kept holstered on his belt, two for the left side and one for the right. The metal arms gripped their weapons tightly and were up way before Nitherius could will his organic limb into the same position.

Twin cracks bellowed at the same time and two humans fell on Argeir's right. They were torn to pieces as their lack of shields and inferior armor did not prevent the tiny bullets from projecting all of their kinetic energy onto their bodies. Their heads and most of their necks simply disintegrated into a bloody cloud, the remainders of their bodies flying backward. Nitherius' organic limb had finally gotten into position by this point and fired upon a man to Argeir's immediate left, imparting the same effect upon the person with a shot to the body, bursting the man's central cavity wide open.

Three down, four to go, but Argeir had stumbled backwards at around the same time the deafening shooting had started, causing him to trip over his own feet and flop down like a beached whale. That left only three people who were immediate threats to the Spectre's life. The rightmost two were more prepared to fire upon Nitherius, so he concentrated on those targets next. He directed his split limbs to aim at the humans, but fired a little more quickly than he anticipated. The first round missed altogether, but the second round produced the desired effect, even if the end result was a bit sloppy.

The bullet had careened into the knee of one of the henchmen, blowing the entire leg out of its socket. The human screamed and clenched down upon the automatic rifle's trigger in his death throes. The cracking weapon raced everywhere, its bullets catching the man's partner in the rifle's line of sight as his limbs flailed everywhere, pockmarking his friend and creating hamburger out of his head. Nitherius finished off the flailing man on the ground with a final shot to the head. Only one to go now.

By that time, the last adherent had gotten his rifle up and aimed at Nitherius. The turian saw the muzzle of the weapon bloom in his direction, but he did not have the energy to maneuver out of the way. He was still out of balance from being shot in the side. The bucking of the recoil caused the line of fire to careen wildly, but several bullets still hit Nitherius. One managed to penetrate the turian's organic arm, causing him to drop his pistol in pain, his nerves sluggish and unresponsive. His armor cracked as several impacts like hard punches repeatedly smashed into his gut and one in his leg, taking the wind out of him. A final bullet flew into Nitherius' shoulder, shattering it, and spinning him around. He roared in agony at the same time the human's rifle clicked on empty.

With a vicious growl, Nitherius raised his prosthetic dual-arm and emptied his pistols at the man across from him. The human literally exploded as the shockwaves tore through his body, causing cascades of blood and guts to stain the walls beyond. Ragged bits of flesh splattered down to the ground, some of it managing to reach Nitherius' position. He groaned and dropped his empty pistols, making sure to retrieve his shotgun before he left as it was the only weapon he brought with fresh clips. He secured it onto his back.

A terrified moan drew his gaze. Argeir had gotten back to his feet and was edging over to the exit. He was going past the door for an airlock, the hallway beyond just in sight. Nitherius' right arm was now useless, so he quickly bent over and picked up one of the fallen human weapons with his left arm, an old shotgun from the looks of it. He clumsily tried to get his fingers into the handgrip as the weapon was not made for turian hands, took a look to see that a shell had been chambered, and fired at Argeir.

The warlord screamed out as his rotund belly was ravaged by the onrushing pellets. Pieces of the human's skin were expunged from the impacts that created ripples throughout his torso, but for the most part, the blast had only resulted in dozens of little puncture marks that only spilled blood down the man's front. The man's fat had cushioned the blows, ironically saving his life. But from the way that Argeir was yowling, one would think that he had just been disemboweled.

Nitherius scowled at the shotgun before he casually broke it in half with his dual prosthesis and threw it aside, now approaching the downed Argeir. "Foolproof, eh?" he whispered as he simultaneously clutched at his arm, his two metal hands trying to hold his organic shoulder still. "Make something foolproof, someone will make a better fool. Didn't I tell you that you would risk your own death by firing on me?"

Argeir was beginning to go into shock, based on his clammy skin and stammering jaw. That was fine, Nitherius was not looking for an answer anyway. He quickly bent down and grasped the obese human by his jacket, slowly dragging him into the airlock while the human tried to form a protest. Nitherius did not listen and impassively closed the door between them, locking the human in the airlock while the turian looked through the viewport.

Nitherius watched in amusement as Argeir managed to clamber to his feet, clutching his ruined gut, his face ashen. The turian keyed the comm and gave a menacing laugh. "You're a very unlucky man," he chuckled at the astonished human, "I hear exposure to gamma radiation can be quite…painful. Let us see how well you can adapt, asshole."

Gravitating to the control panel, Nitherius took a brief glance at the switches before his artificial fingers smoothed over the one he wanted, the button to deactivate the radiation shields. He looked back onto the airlock's lone occupant, and mentally prepared himself for what was going to happen at the same time he depressed the button.

The effect was instantaneous. As soon as the lining in the airlock was retracted from Nitherius' command, the chamber became flooded with ultra-high-energy cosmic radiation, quickly bombarding the only living person having the misfortune to reside there. Argeir immediately sank to his knees and vomited as the radiation pierced his body, blotchy patches already appearing on his face as blood vessels burst. The man fell on his side as his bowels released, already seizing up in a macabre dance. Blood began pouring out of every single orifice and what exposed skin that the man had that had not already been ruined was bright red from the radiation – sunburned. Quickly, the floor of the airlock turned dark red and ripples traveled along it, caused by the seizing obese man in the middle.

As Argeir died, his movements became more frantic. His eyeballs melted, oozing blood down his face. His hair fell out in clumps. A few teeth were released from his gums, his mouth looking diseased. He vomited again, this time throwing up a bloody substance so dark that it looked almost black. The man had severe internal hemorrhaging at this point; his internal organs were slowly being shut down as his obese body decayed.

Nitherius gave a nod and finally turned away, strangely not at all disturbed by what he had just witnessed. Argeir had just been exposed to enough radiation to kill him in the next five minutes. It would not matter if he somehow escaped the airlock, it was too late for him now. It was a fate that Nitherius would not have wished for most people, but Argeir had been a special kind of asshole: the ignorant kind. It gave Nitherius pleasure to teach hicks like these a lesson every once in a while.

Grunting, and with a noticeable limp, Nitherius resumed clutching at his arm and staggered toward the exit on the opposite side of the circular room. He still had a job to do and he was going to do it, even if he died trying.

_Sorry, Kiyareh. I know you'll understand._

* * *

The next burst from Tali's rifle knocked the final Cerberus soldier back. The man hit a nearby guardrail and pitched over the barrier, screaming as he did so with his guts half hanging out of a gaping hole in his stomach. Tali deliberately ejected the spent thermal clip and rummaged around on her belt for a new one only to find that she was out. Cursing, she threw her rifle to the ground and drew her pistol. That still had a few clips ready to go, although that meant that she had to conserve shots now that she was down to her sidearm.

Tali headed across the next walkway that spanned the chasm in what had to be the umpteenth time in navigating this convoluted maze. The industrial and artificial setting caused every area inside this Reaper to look the same. Tali was strongly suspecting that she had been heading in circles for a few minutes, based on her apparent lack of progress. Finally ironing in a strategy, she hooked a left at a junction and sped across the gangway, running towards a circular platform that hung out over the abyss.

Metal stalactites above her dripped condensation and the humid air began to soak her scorched hood. Tali was near the majority of the air scrubbers, humming in a central location, which explained the increase in oxygen content the closer she traveled to the core. She reached the platform and walked into the middle of a ring of generators, each one working hard to provide limited power to the area. She turned in all directions to get her bearings; there were three paths in total that converged upon this location but there was no way to tell which one led to the core.

A clinking sound from the leftmost avenue drew her attention for the moment. Tali pointed her pistol in that direction and squinted as she saw a shadow flit between a row of piping, hidden from the light and from a cloud of steam. Her finger lightly brushed over the trigger, preparing to depress it as a flash of illumination seemingly passed over the shadow for a split second, revealing a hint of white armor.

_All right, you Cerberus bastards_, Tali thought. _It doesn't matter if you hide or not, for I will kill you all!_

"Tali…" the shadow croaked out before a sudden flash erupted from between a set of pipes, a beam racing out from the darkness.

Tali numbly saw the shot being propelled in her direction, and her heightened reflexes automatically caused her head to dodge to the right, followed by her body. The bullet missed her by a meter – so wide that it would not have hit if she had stood still initially – but that fact was lost on Tali. She did not hear the scream of pain that yelped out from behind her and her finger was already in the process of clenching down on the trigger. Her first shot traveled straight between the tubing, into the blackness, and she fired again for good measure. There was a sagging thump that came from behind the barrier and Tali allowed herself to take a breath of stale, but refreshing, air.

It was only then that Tali took a quick backwards glance behind her, only for her to spot something out of place, to her surprise. On the opposite pathway, a trooper in full Cerberus regalia was lying on the ground, groaning, as a hole from his stomach wept blood, smearing across the pristine white plating. The human rolled on his stomach and began to drag himself away from the central platform, leaving a bloody trail where he crawled. Tali looked forward again, to where the person that had been shooting at her had resided. But, now that she thought about it, what if the person hidden from the piping had not been shooting at her, but at the Cerberus soldier that she had failed to spot behind her? Keelah, what if she had hit Garrus by mistake? Her heart in her throat, Tali ignored the wounded soldier at her back and walked forward and edged around the obstructing pipes, her hands trailing down slowly in shock.

Paav sat slumped on a crate, his gun dropped near his legs. Two bullet holes oozed precious fluids from the center of his chest, the results of Tali's accurate shooting. Tali's own pistol slipped from her fingers in astonishment to clatter away uselessly. She said nothing but watched as Paav tried to stem the bleeding by placing his hands over the breaches in his suit. His efforts were for naught, as blood kept gushing through his fingers, darkening his already black suit. He coughed wetly, splattering the interior of his visor red and his head lolled weakly.

_Lung shot_, Tali realized. Even with an application of medi-gel, she realized Paav was not going to make it.

Paav gargled as his eyes rolled up into his head, his feet kicking out as he coughed uncomfortably. With his free hand, he slowly raised it up, trembling as his energy was slowly being sapped away. His fingers stretched out, like they were requesting another to join with it. Tali, however, stood silently, well out of arm's reach, staring at the downed man as he slowly died.

"W-…W-…W-Why?" Paav gasped out, his voice deathly quiet. "Tell…me…_why_…Tali."

"I…I don't-," Tali managed as she knelt down. "I don't understand, Paav."

"You…" the man moaned, "…you knew…that I never meant…to hurt you. That was…never my…intention. I…I-I never wanted you…dead. Why would you do…this…to _me?_"

Tali had no words for him and watched emotionlessly as a pool of blood began to spread from Paav's body. The man did not have long now.

"Oh…oh…oh, Keelah," Paav cried as he clutched at his chest, the pain starting to become overwhelming. "My…my family…Tali, my _family_. What will they do? I have…I have a family…I can't leave them _alone_…" A horrible cough wracked his body and Paav's visor clouded over red even more. His bout finished, Paav relaxed and his limbs stilled, his chest barely rising and falling as each rasping breath grew weaker and weaker.

Tali had the inclination to take the man's hand to comfort him, but ended up not moving a muscle, choosing instead to remain silent. There was no remorse behind her eyes, the confusion finally gone. All that was left was a glum expression. She wanted to tell him to his face that he never should have stuck his nose in business that did not concern him, but such an act seemed unnecessarily cruel especially since Paav had just learned that lesson the hardest way possible.

"Damn you…Tali," Paav gasped. "Damn you for everything. This was…all your fault…in the first place. If you had just…stopped…and thought of others…none of this would have happened. May the Ancestors…curse you and that bastard friend of yours for all your days. Keelah…se'lai."

His last biting comment dying upon his lips, Paav's body seized once and then abruptly stilled. His glowing eyes stared blankly from behind his visor, his head finally dropping to the side as all of his muscles relaxed. Paav had finally passed.

Tali did not linger over the man's dead body for long. She simply dipped her head respectfully, dismissing Paav's final curse as one brought on by agony. He had never known what true suffering felt like, not even when the end had been in sight. She did not blame him; she pitied him. Had he not been involved in this, Paav would still be alive but that was the case no longer. She would still have all her fingers if he had never interfered, come to think of it. Tali was only disappointed in the man as she got back up, leaving her discarded pistol behind, and walked in the opposite direction towards the bloody streaks that the last Cerberus soldier had left – the one Paav had fired upon in his last act of defense - now currently out of sight as the human had ostensibly dragged himself to safety after being shot.

What had Paav been thinking, shooting in her direction even if it was to presumably save her? He should have known that a rushed action like that had the potential to end badly. How was any of this her fault?! Why should she be damned for reacting like a normal person who thought they were being shot at? Her conscience still remained clear, she had to tell herself. She had nothing to hide from what she knew what was right.

"_You're_ the one who's damned, Paav," Tali whispered. "Not me. I have a family to lose too."

Empty handed, but with clenched fists, Tali continued to follow the bloody trail up a small ramp, towards the glow of orange light from a floor above. She did not look back.

* * *

The gateway opened and Garrus spilled out of it with a yell to crash to the ground, completely coated in blood. The ichor that stained him was bright red though, in contrast to the dark blue that turians possess, but he still looked like a complete fright. In panic, Garrus lifted his assault rifle with one hand and clumsily began to fire it in the direction he had just come from. The recoil bounced his aim all over the place but he continued to fire as he stood back up on shaky legs and depressed the door controls behind him, locking it.

With a stiff hand, Garrus tried his best to wipe off the human blood staining his armor, hoping that none of it had gotten in his mouth lest he get sick from the levo-dextro contact. One minute he had been wandering the depths of the Reaper all by his lonesome, the next humans had rushed at him around the corner without warning, dressed in scrawny rags and touting odd weapons. There was no dialogue exchanged between the warring sides so Garrus could not tell if these men belonged to Cerberus or not. The only thing that he did know was that they were hostile and that they should be taken out.

It had not been a pretty fight. The bodies of the humans were unshielded which meant they exploded like overripe fruit whenever Garrus' kinetically superior bullets smashed into them. That was how Garrus got to be covered in blood in the first place. The worst part was trying to scrape the bits of guts off before they congealed and solidified, but those chunks were easy to spot and scour away.

Breathing heavily, Garrus turned tail and ran away from the locked door, not knowing if the humans on the other side were frantically rushing to find a way around and corner him or that they were trying to cut through in an effort to minimize their time scrambling in all directions. Neither scenario sounded particularly appealing to Garrus; the only option was to flee and regroup with Tali, wherever she was.

The next bend revealed yet another one of the similarly themed crossroads that he had come across thus far. This one was a platform suspended by the very walkways that split from it, spanning the hazy and endless chasm just below, surrounded by odd walls of machinery that looked sinister in appearance. A fatal drop, to say the least, and an easy mistake to make judging from the lack of guardrails surrounding the dais.

Garrus made it to the center of the platform and was in the process of figuring out which direction he was going to blindly choose when a series of sparks smacked around his feet, causing him to jump.

"Don't even think about it, Vakarian," a gravelly voice whispered from behind him as the sound from the gunshots dissipated. "Drop your weapon. Do it slowly."

Garrus scowled, but complied. "You caught up quick, Nitherius," he said as he turned around. "I didn't think you would get here so quickly."

"Shut up," the Spectre coughed as he ambled out of the shadows. Right away Garrus could tell that the other turian was off his game. Nitherius had a heavy limp and his right arm hung uselessly by his side. His other arm looked quite odd; from Garrus' perspective it looked like it had split in half and that the metal limbs that extended from only a single socket held out shotgun aimed directly at his chest. Apparently Nitherius' arm was a little more advanced in terms of bionics than he had previously thought.

"Now what?" Garrus shrugged broadly. "You going to arrest me, Nitherius?"

"That is all up to you at this point," Nitherius growled, his prosthetic hands never wavering. "I've just about lost my mind running halfway around the galaxy, thanks to you. So what happens next all depends on what _you_ do in the next few seconds."

"Take me in or kill me, are those the only options I've got?"

"Precisely," Nitherius hissed as he began to step forward. "But frankly, I couldn't care less if I shot you right here, right now. If I had known that you and the quarian would have caused this much trouble for me, I would have killed you without a second thought."

"Think about what you're doing, Nitherius," Garrus pleaded. "You're going to stop me from rescuing my friend from this place? Nitherius, Shepard is _here_."

"_Shepard is dead!_" Nitherius screamed as he jabbed his weapon in Garrus' direction. "I'm sick and tired of hearing this same excuse over and over. You have no proof to that claim, you have _nothing_ tying your presence here! All you've done is blindly follow in the footsteps of a raving bitch that-"

With a yell, Garrus ducked and pushed off with a foot, launching himself at Nitherius. The Spectre fired the shotgun a split second late, the blast traveling harmlessly over Garrus' head. Standing back up, Garrus swung an arm and knocked the weapon out of Nitherius' grip, the angle of the blow tearing it easily out of the turian's prosthetic hands despite their enhanced durability. Nitherius snarled, angered at falling for such a simple trick, and clenched his fists together, coming back at Garrus with a two punch combination from his left side. His right arm still dangled in its socket, being too injured from being shot for it to be utilized in combat.

Truthfully, Garrus was expecting this fight to have lasted only a short time. The Spectre was visibly wounded and his right side was completely vulnerable to attack. It was only when the flurry of Nitherius' metal punches hit him in the side did he realize things were much tougher than they had initially seemed. The man was not going to go down easily, that much was apparent, and his prosthetic meant that he now had two hands he could work with on the left side to replace his inoperative limb. In addition, that limb packed quite a bit more force than yielding flesh could ever hope to dole out, which gave Nitherius the edge in terms of raw power.

Garrus staggered back but jumped right back at Nitherius despite the bout of coughing caused from a blow to his ribs. He tried a left hook, hoping to snag Nitherius' face at the terminus of the swing but the Spectre sidestepped, easily evading the blow. Garrus swung again, but Nitherius dodged once more. The Spectre countered after Garrus staggered from a miss with another two punches from his left, one barely brushing his body, the other managing to nail Garrus on the upper arm, bruising the skin and sending a shockwave through his body.

Disengaging for the moment, Garrus rubbed at his arm, astonished that Nitherius was able to formulate a strategic defense so quickly. The Spectre was injured far worse than he was, yet he could still evade his blows like his motor controls were running optimally.

Nitherius, on the other hand, seemed energized almost to the point of insanity. "Come on," he beckoned with a cruel laugh. "You wanted this, Garrus."

Garrus hesitated, then stutter-stepped in to attack again. He tried motioning his body to the left again in an effort to capitalize on Nitherius' weak side, but the Spectre saw the move coming and spiraled to Garrus' right in preparation. However, Garrus had been anticipating that Nitherius would move to defend his right side and quickly changed his momentum, converting that energy into a solid right cross that almost bowled Nitherius over as his fist smashed into his face.

Shards of teeth bounced along the floor followed by blood droplets, but Nitherius was not stunned for long. Angered from the blow, the Spectre let out a bellow and launched himself at Garrus and managed to hook a hand around his prey's collar. He yanked Garrus' upper half down at the same time he raised his knee up and both collided with a sickening crack. Garrus staggered back, stunned, and Nitherius wound his arm back, combining his prosthetic back together, and decked him with a punch so hard that it leveled Garrus flat on his back.

Garrus saw stars and then blackness, hardly feeling the impact of his own body falling to the ground. He groaned as a wet sensation trickled from his mouth. A deep rasping soon penetrated the silence and he could feel himself being hauled up to his feet, his vision too blurry for him to differentiate the objects in front of his eyes.

Nitherius eyed the groggy turian that he held in his grip. "Concussion, Vakarian?" he sneered. "Too bad. I would have liked for this to have gone on a little longer. Still…"

Leaving the sentence hanging, Nitherius split his prosthetic yet again and used one half of it to hold onto Garrus' collar while the other began bashing him in the face. The last thing Garrus saw before he lapsed into unconscious was spurts of his own blood flying heavily through the air. The inane thought to call a medic flitted through his mind before his body decided to quit, mercifully ending the punishment.

* * *

Tali was sprinting up the ramp by the time the noises of a scuffle crackled through her audio receptors. Hugging the nearby wall, she crouch-walked her way forward until the commotion became more audible, the sounds clear and crisp. She edged her way around the rim of the corridor and found herself on a wide terrace overlooking the lattice-like maze of the Reaper.

Down in front of her at a forty-five degree angle, Tali was able to pick out two distinct shapes, the only moving figures that she could see at the moment. One of them was wearing some kind of whitish armor that Tali initially thought of them as yet another Cerberus trooper until she realized that the contours of the armor were not at all human-like. She held her breath as she recognized the Spectre Nitherius speak to another person, but his current position was blocking her view of the other conversationalist. She leaned over the guardrail, hoping that the shadows were obscuring her from any curious passerby in case they decided to look up and see her above them.

Then all of a sudden, Nitherius turned and Tali was now able to see the person that the Spectre held in their vise-like grip. The captive's face was bloody and their expression was one of pain, but she recognized that blue armor and markings even from this distance.

"_Garrus!"_ Tali yelled in horror.

* * *

"_Garrus!_" someone from afar cried out.

His vision cleared at the exact time Nitherius involuntarily glanced at the source of the outburst in annoyance, trying to penetrate the blackish haze that hung around the area like a cloud. Almost passing out again from a splitting headache coupled with severe wounds to his face, it felt like thousands of pins and needles were being pushed into Garrus' skin with every single miniscule movement that he made. It hurt to even breathe and spots were beginning to solicit his eyesight once again.

Despite the pain, Garrus willed his arm to move toward the sheath at his belt, drawing a combat knife from it. His body jerked as he brought the tip of the blade around and he grunted as he prepared to sink it through a gap in Nitherius' armor, but the Spectre saw the maneuver at the last second and one of his two metal hands managed to catch Garrus' wrist, preventing the knife from traveling any further. The tip of the blade scraped uselessly at Nitherius' abdomen, twitching as the two turians wrestled for control of the weapon.

"You…tricky fuck," Nitherius panted, his eyes slit dangerously. "Thought you'd won, did you?"

Without waiting for an answer, Nitherius gave out a triumphant roar at the same time his fingers clenched, crushing Garrus' wrist. Garrus bellowed in pain as his bones broke and automatically released the knife from his grip, which was caught by Nitherius in mid-air.

"Attempted murder of a Spectre…" Nitherius breathed out as he twirled the blade around. "That is a class one felony. The plea, unnecessary. The judgment, immediate. The sentence…_death!_"

Nitherius shunted his arm forward and Garrus grunted as a fiery pain erupted in his gut. A scream erupted from the rafters, a voice that sounded like Tali's. Garrus looked down fearfully to see the blade of his own combat knife buried halfway in between the panels of his armor. Nitherius gave a quiet laugh as he continued to push the knife further and further into Garrus' body, sadistically taking his time.

Desperation flooding him, Garrus looked down for anything that could forestall his judgment. His eyes finally catching onto something, Garrus reached forward and frantically yanked Nitherius' own combat knife from his sheath at his chest with his good hand – on the right side where the Spectre's left arm could not easily reach. Nitherius was in too close to properly pull away and could only stare in horror as Garrus brought the weapon down in a backhand grip, sticking the blade straight into the unarmored portion where the shoulder met the neck. The tip of the knife jerked and stilled as it sliced through Nitherius' spinal cord, the welling blood already stemming to an ooze. The Spectre's gaze slackened with a cough and he ceased pushing on the blade embedded in Garrus' own body.

"_Now_ I won," Garrus coughed out into Nitherius' face.

"_Stupid…bastard_…" were the words he could have sworn that passed from Nitherius' throat.

Like a puppet with its strings cut, Nitherius began to topple over backwards, towards the edge of the platform. Garrus attempted to move away but saw that, to his horror, two of Nitherius' metal fingers were still hooked around the collar of his armor, dragging him with the deadweight turian. In panic, Garrus tried to pry the fingers off before it was too late, but it was like a clamp anchoring him in place – those fingers would not move in the absence of brain waves. A headache was approaching again, and Garrus suddenly felt tired once more, like all he wanted to do was to lie down and take a nap.

Inching closer and closer to the lip of the walkway, Garrus craned his head and tried to spot Tali, but he could not see her through the maze of tubes and scaffolding. He opened his mouth to call out but his heels finally slipped as Nitherius' heavier body pitched over the edge. With only a startled gasp as his body was yanked down with the dead Spectre, Garrus threw out his hands to grasp at something, but there was nothing to hold on to.

And just like that, he was gone.

"No…" Tali moaned as she dropped to her knees from her perch. "Oh Keelah…no…"

She waited for what seemed like an eternity for Garrus to pull himself back up over the edge, to let her know that he was okay after all, but after each painful second had passed, the silence had settled once again and the Reaper resumed its stillness. Tears were running down Tali's face as she willed for Garrus to emerge unscathed, but no matter how powerful her hopes were, they were not granted.

With a vengeful scream so loud that it almost deafened her inside her helmet, Tali threw her hands up in the air only to smash them back down to the ground. Pounding the floor so hard that her knuckles nearly broke, Tali stood up, her eyes stinging, and angrily began to walk away from the metal terrace after a final, forlorn glance back down.

"Garrus…I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I-I couldn't save you. But I can save John. I…I hope that will be enough. That it would b-be…w-w-what you would h-have wanted." She trembled violently and cried out, "_Keelah, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Garrus!_"

With fury boiling her blood, hatred searing her nerves, and anticipation shortening her breath, Tali staggered through the next door, already feeling warmer from the heat being emitted at the end of the corridor. She raised a hand to block the waves, sensing the light parting from her hands to allow passage. Each step was torturous, but she continued on with a fierce determination. Her eyes blazed all of the anger hell carried, the glow blinding even through her visor. Her tormentors will surely pay.

The core to Harbinger lay just ahead.

* * *

**A/N: Celebrating an early birthday in the next few hours with this chapter submission, and boy was it a monster to create (it's just another year to add up at this point - after passing the legal drinking age in America there's really not many milestones to look forward to other than waiting a few decades for the day when you can receive senior discounts at the movie theaters - oh, joy). Hard to believe that, since I picked this story back up in May from the original prologue, the end is finally within sight.  
**

**Not much else to mention, other than to stand by until this time next week for what will happen next. Hope you've been enjoying the ride so far!**


	18. Chapter 17: Flawed Perspective

The blood trail made up almost exclusively of spatters had gotten more and more pronounced the further she carried on. Tali's gaze had dropped exclusively to the ground as she jogged up the walkway, pistol in hand, making sure not to step on any of the red streaks lest she slip and fall. The orange lighting actually made the blood appear brown on the floor, causing it to have an unnatural shine.

Tali was almost out of breath as she finally approached the end of the pathway where it leveled out onto an overhang. She could feel the triple-beats of her heart pulsing up through her neck and seemingly into her brain from the sheer force of her hardened muscle. Just a few feet right in front of her, however, was the prone body of the Cerberus soldier that had scampered away after getting shot in the chest by Paav. Tali did not know how that human had somehow managed to retain the strength or adrenaline to flee such a distance after being critically wounded like that, but it seemed that, based on his limp position, his efforts to seek medical assistance had all been for naught.

Not wanting to leave any loose ends, though, Tali walked right up to the body, making sure to stay out of arm's reach just in case the human was faking, unhooked her pistol, and fired two rounds directly into the man's back. The soldier jerked twice but made no sound as twin holes spewed a faint cloud of blood into the air. Apparently the man had been bleeding for so long that he did not have that much blood left to spill. Tali frowned beneath her visor and adjusted her aim, firing one last time for effect. The back of the trooper's head exploded as the bullet careened into the base of his skull, throwing a red mass everywhere, splattering all over the ground. If he was not already dead before, he certainly was now.

Panting, her calf guards splotched with red, Tali finally looked up from the ground and gasped as the magnificent sight became apparent. Harbinger's core was of a completely different design than the derelict Reaper near Mnemosyne. There was only a bridge sans guardrails that extended directly out to the pulsating orange orb suspended in between a pair of transformers. A circular partition separated the area into a confined space that created a donut-shaped room around the drive core. Tali had never seen an element zero engine colored orange before, which made her wonder just what kind of tricks lay in store for her up ahead. Tubes dangled loosely and trailed directly into the mechanism, pumping the precious energy throughout the Reaper. Tali could have sworn that she heard a humming from the immense power that lay within this place.

Ceasing in her wondrous analysis, Tali took two steps forward onto the bridge but halted as a silhouette stepped out from the wall on the other side of the expanse and began to walk forward deliberately, stopping halfway onto the walkway. Tali did not need her visor to automatically darken in order to perceive the color discrepancy. She knew who was standing in front of her right now. A hint of a whiff of smoke from the shadow's "head," caught by the light, told her all she needed to know about the person that was confronting her at this moment.

"Tali'Shepard," the Illusive Man said deliberately, his outline continuously being altered by the light of the drive core behind him. His image wavered and fizzled like static, the boundaries of his form blending into the dark background where the light could not touch. "I have been waiting a long time for this. Rest assured, we-"

The Illusive Man suddenly jolted as a boom rocketed through the chamber. Tali unclenched her finger from the trigger, the barrel of her pistol smoking, her breath coming out in rasps. She could not see the human's expression nor where her bullet had hit him, for the light was hitting her full-on in the face. The shadow of the Illusive Man grasped at his unseen wound before he, rather gracefully, swayed on the spot before he pitched over the side of the bridge, the only sound coming from his rustling clothing as he fell.

Tali jogged over and glanced over the side of the bridge at the spot where the man had fallen, her eyes trying to penetrate the dim chasm before her. She could not see the bottom of the Reaper – not through that inky soup that congested this place. "Good riddance," she spat. She was not going to listen to any more of the Illusive Man's diatribes from now on. Tali could not help smiling; she had gotten the last word in. She won.

Ignoring her sudden lightheadedness, Tali practically skipped through the partition into the central chamber. The platform was completely deserted and the only object in the room was the orange drive core in front of her.

"John?" Tali called eagerly. "John, where are you?"

The silence swallowed her words up, and Tali did a lap around the room before she stuttered to a stop in front of the core. Peering in deeply, she squinted so as not to be blinded from the light that bathed the entire chamber the color of rust. The electric reaction rippled the surface of the orb like a thick liquid, very planet-like in appearance, constantly being manipulated from the current running through it. But what was odd, was that Tali thought she could see a brief outline of an object somehow _inside_ the core. The how or why of an object being surrounded by an element zero core did not even impart themselves onto Tali, despite the seemingly ludicrousness of the situation. At no point did she show concern for her own safety as she reached out a gloved hand, her fingers inching toward the smooth, shining surface for them to finally collide, sending out a small spark at the very instant of contact.

But Tali did not cry out. An electric bolt did not coarse through her body, searing her flesh and leaving her twitching on the floor. Rather, the element zero core shrunk _away_ from her with a snap, condensing into a bright ball the size of a fruit in a matter of seconds. It looked like a miniature sun, boiling with an immense fury. The core continued to reduce in size before her very eyes, shrinking until it was about the size of a small rock, then a pebble, then a grain of sand. With a final sparkle and a quick crackling sound, the element zero core pinprick winked out of existence, causing the light that had drenched the Reaper to abruptly fade away, returning the shadows to their rightful position.

Right away, disappointment flooded Tali's gut. After the drive core had inexplicably deactivated (at least that was what she thought had happened), it became apparent that her initial thought of the energy orb obscuring something within had just been a fabrication. There was nothing else joining her upon the platform. There was no sign of Shepard, nor another route that led to another part of the Reaper. Tali ran a hand over her hood in confusion. This made no sense; Shepard should be here. She had scoured this cursed ship for what felt like hours and still she had failed to find even a trace of his existence. If he was not in this room, then where else could he be?

"John!" Tali yelled, louder than before. "John, if you can hear me, say something! _Please_!"

The silence was deafening to her, and without the drive core providing its warm glow, Tali felt a chill run up her spine. She shivered, unused to such a cold sensation inside her suit. She was on the verge of hyperventilating, her breathing coming in irregular gasps while her eyeballs scrambled in their sockets, searching for a vague shred of the familiar.

Heart thudding, Tali mentally considered that it would be more prudent to retrace her steps and search again, but a little more thoroughly this time. She turned around to leave but stopped just short, almost jumping right out of her suit as she found the exit inexplicably blocked by a very familiar humanoid shape. Almost casually, the Illusive Man drew one of his trademark cigarettes from a pocket in his jacket, lit it with a flick of a lighter, and gave her a salute with his smoke in a manner of _noblesse oblige_.

"A pleasure to meet you in person too, Mrs. Shepard," he grinned, unharmed in the slightest.

Tali stifled a scream and jumped backwards a step. Her hands fumbled at her belt for her pistol and yanked it out. The barrel caught on a belt loop and she almost dropped it, but the weapon was soon wrenched free and back into Tali's hands, aimed directly at the human. The Illusive Man did not seem all that distressed, odd considering that he had just been shot and fell a few stories down what should have been a deadly drop. There did not even seem to be a bullet hole in his very expensive jacket. Her hands wavered but she did not shoot; she needed answers now more than ever.

"_Where is he?!_" she screamed, making sure that her pistol was directly aimed between the human's eyes. "Tell me or I'll put you down again, damn you!"

The Illusive Man finished his drag before he dropped his cigarette, carelessly stomping it out with a polished shoe. "I'm afraid…it's not that simple, Tali'Shepard," he gave a singular shrug.

"It's simple from my end," she retorted through clenched teeth. "Either you tell me where you have John hidden, or I will not hesitate in blowing your head off right here, right now."

The human looked up from grinding out his cigarette, his expression a combination of amusement and curiosity.

"The latter will solve nothing," the Illusive Man shrugged, never linking his gaze with the quarian's. "Like it or not, Tali'Shepard, you don't have the power to decide if I live or die. That choice has already been made."

"Damn right it has been made. I'm going to kill you regardless of what you do, but not complying with me will be much more painful. Why don't you get to talking before I start shooting your kneecaps? I bet you'll be in a more talkative mood _then_."

That drew a chuckle from the human. "As forceful as ever, Mrs. Shepard. You certainly match your husband's spirit, but you just don't understand. Not yet, at least."

"What?" Tali cocked her head. "What is this?"

"This?" the Illusive Man spread his arms with a melancholy grin. "This is the end of the line. The deepest point of the rabbit hole. Where all the lies are rendered moot. Nowhere to go but back up."

"I don't have time for this!" Tali snarled as she emphasized her anger with a tentative step forward. "I want my husband back and I want him _now!_"

The Illusive Man did not back down from Tali's forceful words and stance. He shoved his hands in his pockets and, if anything, stood up even straighter. He gave a quiet sigh and shook his head before he put his hand to his chin in thought, contemplating his next words.

"How much do you know about humanity and religion, Tali'Shepard?" the Illusive Man said mildly as he then examined his fingers, like fussing about his fingernail length was the most important topic at hand.

"Do not change the subject!" Tali seethed.

The human held up a hand. "There is a point to this, please bear with me. You see, before the discovery of the Prothean archives on Mars prompted humanity to discover new forms of life and seize our potential, us humans held a greater stock in faith in a higher power, greater than now at least. Religion reached its peak in the last century, technically, but it wasn't until a few decades ago did a mass exodus from the established denominations begin to take place. Humans today may claim to be practicing of a certain religion, but our religions are based more on morals and enlightenment rather than our fate. The knowledge that we were not alone in the universe prompted us to do a bit of soul-searching, and when the core religions that practiced monotheism were unable to come up with any answers regarding such a discovery, the people began to move on when their religions failed to adapt to the new climate. It was at that point when the scientists firmly held all the answers, and all but the staunchly fervent ceased in their worship."

Tali's firm stance had not slackened a bit, something that the Illusive Man noticed as well and gave a nod to assure her that he was trying to get to his overall point.

"What I'm trying to say is, that at the point before the religions fell out of favor, they had become so fragmented with what they required their followers to believe in that they barely resembled themselves when their original founders established them. The Christians splintered based on their region, the newer generations of Jews split to adapt to the times while the older generations chose stagnate in their outdated ways, and the various sects of Muslims warred against each other from a misinterpretation of their deity's divine will. Each and every denomination took their books of worship and twisted the words inside to supposedly pertain to an unrelated problem, discombobulating the true message that we, as a society, needed to decipher. Religion branched out into places where it was never intended to go, with many individuals utilizing their own version of a holy book to justify hurtful acts. Sure, some acts mentioned in books like the Bible or the Torah could get barbaric at times, but the original scribers could not anticipate-"

Tali, frustrated with the monologue, fired her gun but twisted her wrist at the last second, causing the bullet to harmlessly pass by the Illusive Man's head. He did not so much as flinch, but shot the quarian a glance at being so rudely interrupted.

She did not care if she was rude or not. "Point," she growled. "_Now_."

"_Distortion_, Tali'Shepard," the Illusive Man said after a pregnant pause. "That was what I was getting at. It is something that is prevalent in all living beings. When confronted with a trying situation, we, as people, tend to distort our perceptions in order for us to believe that we remain in control of our fates. Kind of like a form of self-manipulation. It happens all the time as a form of coping, us trying to bend reality in a way that reacts favorably upon our current dispositions. It is a reaction that has occurred in many people…even _you_."

Once the final word had dropped out of the man's mouth, there was a good five seconds of total silence that lay in between. Without the humming of the drive core, the entire place was completely and totally quiet, so silent that one could hear the dropping of a thermal clip from a mile away.

Her pistol wavering, Tali dropped her arms slightly. "W-What are you saying?" she whispered.

"Isn't it obvious? Did you really think that you managed to find this place from your own hard work?"

Nonplussed, Tali blinked. "Of-of course! Your console that you left behind on Omega said-,"

The Illusive Man sighed. "Mrs. Shepard, that console that you retrieved on Omega _never_ had anything regarding my location here, or your husband's, on its hard drive. That information, you got from somewhere else. Are you quite sure that you can't recall how you heard about this place before?"

"N-No," Tali mumbled. "That makes no sense…I have…"

_\- - - "…The turians assumed the cleanup of all Reaper hulks and moved them to the installation at Cygnus X-3 for disposal," Admiral Koris said as he looked at his fellow Admirals adorning around the meeting table in the shuttle, the blazing hot light from Rannoch beaming in from the nearby window. "Including the hulk that we bombed here about a year and a half ago." Tali looked up from her chair and, seeing how she was currently not being put on the spot, continued to daydream about her rotten life, waiting for the meeting to be adjourned so that she could scamper back to the shed that was her current home. - - -  
_

"…I didn't know," Tali began to clutch at her arm timidly before she violently shook her head as she uncomfortably visualized the entire meeting that had taken place weeks ago. "That…that means nothing! I still found you through your own technology on Omega, though! That console _did_ lead me to you!"

"Really?" the Illusive Man's eyebrows bumped upward once. "Are you confident about that statement?"

Tali faltered again. "I…I…"

_\- - - "You know you need to turn the display on for the laptop to work, you know," Aria T'Loak sneered as she watched Tali with incredulity._

_"It is on," Tali huffed as she gestured to a conversely blank screen, a completely powered off workstation. Aria sneered at the quarian's words, unsure if there was something that she was missing here or if Tali was acting dumb. - - -  
_

Her stomach was aching now, and Tali finally lowered her gun as she firmly placed a hand to her gut, trying to stem her queasiness. _The memories…they're all wrong! What's happening to me?!_ "But…" she stammered, "but what does that mean? How…how could-? I…I was _talking_ to you through that console! I talked to you several times before that!"

The Illusive Man merely laughed and gave a sad little shake of his head. "Tali'Shepard, we have never exchanged a _word_ before until now."

"That's ridiculous! That's just not possible! I know that we have talked before! I can prove it!"

"How?" the Illusive Man frowned. "Has anyone else ever been present when we have had our 'discussions'? Do you have definitive proof to this claim or have you never noticed that the circumstances surrounding our little chats have always been…off?"

_\- - - On the shuttle descending towards Earth, Garrus frowned and stood up to look at the projector after he helped the quarian to her feet. He appraised the image stand before he booted up the contact logs to check the veracity of Tali's statement that the Illusive Man had come calling. He spent a few seconds scrolling through the records before he gave a frustrated shake of his head. "There's nothing here, Tali. No calls have been logged in the past few minutes." - - -  
_

"That can easily be explained!" Tali cried while shaking her head. _Keelah, help!_ "That first time…you could have simply used a scrambler to hide the details of your call from the records!"

"Such technology only disguises the _identity_ of the caller, Tali'Shepard," the Illusive Man pointed out. "If I had actually called you, there would be no way to hide that fact from your ship's records. There would have been an entry denoting that the QED channel had been utilized for a certain period of time. I cannot change such settings from _my_ end of the channel."

"But…on the _Gehenna_…you hijacked the video feeds there. You were standing over John's body! I saw you on the monitors!"

"And no one else did. Rather convenient, don't you think?"

_\- - - "Tali?" the turian asked after clapping a hand on her shoulder. The quarian had been staring at one of the monitors for a long time, watching what appeared to be mindless cartoons. "You okay? You seem…troubled."_

_"You…" she croaked out as she glanced back and forth between Garrus and the vidscreens. "You didn't see…?"_

_"See what? Tali?" The turian looked confused._

"_N-Never mind," Tali mumbled, drawing one final glance back to where the images had blazed from, not knowing how to properly explain her visual encounter. - - -  
_

Tali staggered backwards, breathing exclusively out of her mouth at this point. _Somebody…John…Garrus…help me… _

The Illusive Man calmly drew another cigarette from his pocket, as well as his lighter, and proceeded to ignite the tip of his smoke while Tali reeled in place. He took a deep drag and softly exhaled, puffing out a bluish cloud into the air.

"And…" Tali said slowly, "…and when you called me in Paav's shuttle?"

"Well, I would have had to know your omni-tool address in order to contact you directly, wouldn't I? Ship QED addresses that are non-military are public record, personal omni-tool addresses are voluntary – for privacy reasons, you see. Truthfully, I've never possessed your omni-tool address. Not even for a moment."

_\- - - A harsh snapping sound finally broke out from the static blizzard and a high-pitched squeal pinged through, dimly registering at the highest frequency of Tali's hearing ability. Somehow, a connection had been made through Tali's omni-tool. With her hands behind her back, though, she was unable to tell who was currently calling._

_"H-Hello?" Tali breathed. "Who's there?"_

_No one replied and Tali started to feel a little more nervous. Was she imagining her omni-tool activating or was the heat and the confinement finally getting to her?_

_"If someone is there, please answer me!" Tali begged. "I need…I need to talk to someone…"_

_Yet no one answered, but Tali replied anyway as if someone did. - - -  
_

"LIAR!" Tali screamed, her pistol coming back up. "Each one was real! I remember each conversation very clearly! John was there! He was there, with you! I _spoke_ to him, how could that not be real?!"

"Because we've already established that the console on Omega you had utilized to 'talk' to him was never functional. You were speaking to no one this entire time, Tali'Shepard."

"That…that can't be possible," Tali moaned.

"It is, because you needed to visualize your hope after the goal was dangled in front of you for so long. In order to rationalize your husband's supposed disappearance, I was chosen, by you, to be your foe, the obvious conspirator. Who else would have been the appropriate antagonist remaining in this galaxy? The Reapers were dead, and my remains unfound, so it seemed like I was the perfect scapegoat for your grief. Every decision you have made was to get to me, having taken it upon yourself to fill in the blanks that the supposed proof could not determine."

"I did this to save my husband!"

"All you've done was make everything worse," the Illusive Man snorted. "You broke into a turian data center illegally, initiated a gang war on Earth, repeatedly eluded official pursuers, and caused the deaths of several innocents along your way. All your acts have done nothing to justify your so-called journey, it's so ironic that it's almost Shakespearean. What you've gone through is your own personal _Lord of the Flies_. You still maintain your self-image of innocence, but in reality you have become a savage, the very thing that you despise."

"Innocents?" Tali laughed in disbelief, ignoring the rest. "What innocents? The people on Omega? They _chose_ to tear themselves apart after I left. I took down a crime lord-,"

"Those were merely indirect casualties of your actions," the Illusive Man pointed out. "I'm referring to the dozen or so people that you casually _murdered_ just to make your way to Aria. Does that sound familiar to you?"

"What? No…I…"

_\- - - Just like out in the hallway, as Tali stepped into the club, she could feel all eyes upon her. There were no friendly faces to make out, just wide eyes, fearful expressions, and panicked yells as the patrons that resided here all leapt up towards the exits. Even the dancers seemed to be shying away, their faces ashen and shocked. It seemed that every single living soul here was edging away from her, afraid of being caught in the crossfire. The crowd moved in slow motion, despite the fast pace of the music. She could see individual droplets of sweat on the skin of the nearest humans, the detail in the face paint of turians, and the dust flaking off a chafing krogan as he lumbered to his feet, only a large chalice filled with a strong drink visible in his hands. Everyone's weapons remained holstered, each individual shying away from performing violence. Yet the quarian that approached them paid that no heed, and immediately began to open fire, mowing down the first members of the crowd while everyone else tried to flee. Bullets tore through bodies and screams filled the air, the first sounds of the ensuing carnage. - - -  
_

"Wait, no!" Tali held up a hand, her stomach doing somersaults. "That wasn't my fault, I could have sworn that they were armed and they-,"

"-Were just regular people enjoying one of Omega's amusements," the Illusive Man interrupted after he took another thoughtful drag on his cigarette. "_Not_ heavily armed killers like you thought. It's been an obvious pattern from the very beginning. Because of you, only innocent people have been hurt. No one would have had to die…if it wasn't for your involvement."

Tali fell silent at that. She stood ramrod straight, her eyes locked with the human's across from her. With a slow breath, she mustered the nerve to shake her head back and forth.

"Not all of them were innocent," she muttered. "Your troopers, they were never blameless."

"Troopers?" the Illusive Man chuckled. "What troopers? I've _never_ had men stationed here before."

"Men like that one over there!" Tali pointed to the corpse she had previously shot behind the Illusive Man indignantly. "Your mindless followers that-,"

Performing a double-take, Tali cut her sentence short with a noise of astonishment. Where the once white armor had gleamed through the dimness, it had vanished along with the orange light. Instead of a human lying motionless on the ground, the mutilated and veiny form of a vorcha lay in a pool of its own blood, with the back of its head completely blown off.

_\- - - "…Doesn't stop some vorcha from traversing here every once in a while, though," Garrus grimaced as he drove the shuttle past the derelict Reaper wreckage, the glow of Cygnus X-3 reflected through the viewport. "Those Blood Pack parasites take anything they can get their hands on." - - -  
_

"It…it wasn't…?" Tali stammered, yet again lost for words.

"_None_ of them were human," the Illusive Man clarified as he gave a casual glance to the dead vorcha over his shoulder. "Now everything is starting to become clear, right? Everything here was all an illusion created by _you_. The troopers were all vorcha, members of a Blood Pack cell that has only been scavenging this place for spare parts. This is no Cerberus base, Tali'Shepard. Cerberus hasn't _existed_ for over a year now. Everything ended when your husband made his decision on the Crucible: to destroy the Reapers and bring about an end to the cycles once and for all."

"_Then where is he?!_" Tali screamed, her own voice uncomfortably loud. "You bastard! I want him back! Where is John?!"

The Illusive Man's face turned neutral as he let his cigarette smolder between his fingers. "I believe that you already have the answer to that question," he said quietly. "You _know_ what happened to him."

"L-Liar," she trembled and used both her hands to steady her grip on her pistol. This was not happening! All she had done, the intended outcome, none of this could be true! "I'll…I'll kill you if you don't tell me where John is."

"Killing me will not bring him back, Mrs. Shepard."

"Shut up," Tali squeaked. "Shut up. _Shut up! SHUT UP!"_

"You cannot escape the truth. It catches up to all of us eventually."

"Stop it!" Tali sobbed. "Stop lying to me!"

The Illusive Man's face had not changed; there was no pleasure in his expression. His unnaturally blue eyes bored into her brain. For the briefest of moments, Tali's blood ran cold with the very thought that the human was indeed telling the truth.

\- - - _"Tali, will you have John to be your husband, to live together in holy marriage?"- - -  
_

"No one could have escaped that blast from the Crucible unscathed," the human explained. "The burst of energy that was emitted was powerful enough to disintegrate everything near the source. If Shepard had truly escaped, don't you think that someone would have caught on by now? Sooner or later you're going to have to accept the evidence that has been in front of you the entire time."

_\- - -"Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?" - - -  
_

"It can't be…" Tali swayed on the spot. "He can't be…d-d-,"

_\- - -"I take you to be my mate, to have and to hold from this day forward…" - - -  
_

"I told you before that your nightmare will be over only when you decree it so," the Illusive Man said as he began to circle the quarian. "What will it be? You have to choose what you want to believe. The time for suppositions is over. There can only be a definite reality."

_\- - -_ "…_for better, for worse…" - - -  
_

Tali was on the verge of collapsing. Her knees were buckling and sweat felt like it was seeping out of every pore in her body. She felt hot, cold, and sick all at once. "He…" she choked out, "…he isn't…_dead_."

\- - -"… _for richer, for poorer…" - - -  
_

"That's the choice, isn't it?" the Illusive Man asked. "Is he or isn't he gone?"

_\- - -"_…_in sickness and in health…" - - -  
_

Tali retched suddenly, but nothing was expunged. The dry heaves soon passed, but the clamminess remained. The Illusive Man looked bemused and Tali gave a primal scream of denial. "John…he _promised_ me…"

\- - -"… _to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death." - - -  
_

"It doesn't matter if he made you a promise or not," the Illusive Man urged. "The man is gone! He is dead and nothing you can do will bring him back!"

_\- - -"__This__ is my solemn vow."- - -  
_

Ludicrously calm now, Tali straightened her back, forcing herself up tall. The human gave an expectant look in her direction, but she slowly blinked, her cheeks fluttering as she tried to inhale as deep of a breath as she could. It was all so clear to her now. The Illusive Man could still be proven wrong! There was something she could do after all.

Ultimately, what was the point in living if John was dead?

"Then _this_ is my choice," Tali said as she lifted the pistol up, but not to point at the human. Rather, the muzzle kept trailing upwards until the barrel of the weapon was scraping against the underside of Tali's helmet. She held the pistol under her chin, maneuvering it so that it was aiming upwards towards the middle of her head. The sensation felt so natural that she did not feel a burst of nervousness that she initially anticipated. There was no time to consider the ramifications of her actions; the sole image of her husband was the only thing she was envisioning. She was looking forward to be able to see his face again, for him to touch her, hug her, and kiss her. Keelah, a _kiss_. To have his soft lips upon her skin again would justify everything that she had done in her eyes. A naked embrace, swimming in blankets, drifting away with passionate cries, a perfect end. Tali craved the rush of emotions again, that pleasurable high, which made her next move feel all the more natural.

_I want this._

"I love you, John," Tali whispered as she took a final breath and yanked the trigger hard, making sure to do so with all the force she could muster, emitting a final cry as she did so.

It seemed like she was experiencing everything that occurred in the next second as if she were outside her own body. Vivid flashes of a burst of flame, a sharp puff from the gun, and smoke came to mind as her life flashed before her eyes. Tali could have sworn that she saw her purple visor shatter apart from the gas blowback caused from the discharge. Her own blood seemed to travel in a fine cloud as her face exploded in a cascade of flesh. She could almost feel her own skull burst apart from the bullet mushrooming in the middle of her brain, causing a red, wet mass to rupture from the cracks in the bone, streaming outside of her body while her helmet flew off her head, allowing the remains of her cranium to fountain into the air in a violent rush.

But as quickly as the images rushed at her, they suddenly ceased to give way to black nothingness. A total and complete vacuum.

"Congratulations, Tali'Shepard," the voice of the Illusive Man pierced the empty shroud, to her alarm. "You made the right decision after all."

Tali then opened her eyes in anguish, not knowing that she had closed them, and found herself standing back in the empty core of Harbinger, all alone this time. Timidly, she looked in all directions through bleary eyes but there was no trace of the Illusive Man around her. He had vanished into the very air itself.

_Like he was…a hallucination_, Tali realized. _The whole time…I was…?_

Nervously, Tali felt the back of her helmet, finding it oddly intact. Her visor was still in one piece and she felt _alive_ for some reason. She pinched her arm, causing a twinge of pain. Okay, so she _was_ still alive, but why? She could have sworn that she had eaten a bullet just seconds ago; could she have imagined that happening as well? Was this all some sort of sick joke at her expense by not being able to achieve death and reunite with her love?

Before her better nature could come into play, Tali lifted her arm again, the one gripping her pistol, determined to do the job right this time, but her hand felt very light for some reason. It was only when Tali focused on what she was holding did she halt in her actions. Or rather, it was what she was _not_ holding that was the curious part.

Tali stared, dumbstruck, at her empty hands for a moment before she searched all around her, patting herself down to find the wayward weapon that somehow was no longer in her presence. This was absurd, how could she have lost track of her pistol like that? She had been holding it the entire time she was here; it had been pointing at the Illusive Man, held under her chin, and-

_\- - - Her pistol had slipped from her fingers only to clatter away as she stared at the dying form of Paav in astonishment. Once the quarian had passed on, she had left without retrieving the pistol, headed through the nearby threshold, completely weaponless from this point on, overlooked by a conflicted mind. - - -  
_

"It…" she stared numbly at her empty fingers, "…it was never there too?"

Tali gave a pathetic keen of despair. Why couldn't she just _die?_ Was it really so hard for that request to be granted? What else did she have left? Her husband was dead, Garrus was dead, everyone she had ever cared for in the galaxy was dead. And yet she could not join them.

On shaky legs, Tali stumbled from the claustrophobic room and across the bridge to where the lone vorcha lay on the opposite platform. She clearly remembered putting a round in that creature's skull back when it looked like a human, but she had held a nonexistent gun at the time so had that all been just a hallucination as well? However, when she was looking over it, Tali did not need to perform an autopsy on the alien to determine that its head was still in one piece, to her complete bewilderment. There was no evidence of the shot that had burst its brains all over the floor, merely the lone hole that leaked ichor at this point – the true source of the vorcha's demise at _Paav's_ hands, not Tali's.

"Everything I did was all for nothing," Tali stated out loud, her voice echoing into the depths. She slowly sat down on the ground before she laid herself flat, her arms spread-eagled. "I failed at everything I did."

"That's not true," a new voice said, startling her. "You found the real truth out for yourself, didn't you?"

Sitting back up with a gasp, Tali took one look to her side before she found herself crying again. Sitting next to her, wearing a casual pair of pants and a nondescript shirt, a very familiar looking human was smiling at her, his features warm and radiant. The human was pleasant-looking and he seemed to glow around the edges, making that mischievous wink that he always used to give her. Tali made a sobbing noise and moved her hand over so that she could touch the human's, but the man edged his own appendage away at the last second, causing Tali to almost topple over as she was denied contact.

"_J-John_?" she whispered hopefully, her voice hoarse.

The man gave a nod, but his smile was tinged with sadness. "Yes, Tali. It is me."

Tali tried to touch Shepard again but each time, her hands grasped on empty air. Her fingers shaking, she slowly retracted her limb, her body clamoring to be touched but throbbing as it was repeatedly refused. "You're…you're not real," she began to understand. "You're just another figment of my imagination, just like everything else in this place."

"Yes, I am," the image of Shepard said bluntly. "But is that such a bad thing? That doesn't diminish how I feel about you."

"_Don't_," Tali pleaded as she shut her eyes and turned her head away. She couldn't bear to look upon him for much longer. "You're _dead_, John. This isn't happening right now. I can't be forced to believe this anymore. I've become the pariah of the galaxy from indulging this…fantasy. I'm a broken person now, no longer the wife you knew. I've gone insane, driven crazy on a fruitless quest. I…I wish I was dead right now so that I won't have to look at everyone in the eye anymore and try to justify myself." She slammed the ground with a fist. "I just don't know what's _wrong_ with me! I want to wake up and end this nightmare!"

"Hey, stop that right now," Shepard said sternly. Tali, still sniffling, looked up at the hard tone and saw that Shepard was staring intently at her, all warmth locked behind a cold visage. "You were lonely, Tali, and you wanted me back. I can understand that. Who couldn't?" The man then bit his lip and looked away for a second. "And there are some things that I won't be able to justify to you. I just want you to know that I am so sorry for leaving you behind. Had I known what would happen on the Crucible beforehand, I don't know if I would have made the choice that I did." A trace of his roguish smile appeared back on his face before it slid into a frown again. "But don't you think for a moment that I wanted to leave you here. It was my life for the galaxy's and I did it knowing that you would be all right afterward. I did what I did so that you could have a better life, so why are you so hell-bent on not living it?"

"Because _you_ were my whole life!" Tali cried, momentarily forgetting herself. She had the outrageous urge to slug Shepard in the face for being so thick-headed, but she remembered that it would not even connect and lowered her arm in despair. "I've never wanted anything else from this stupid war but my friend and husband, is _that_ so hard to believe? How can I live if the person I've loved the most died, just when I started to feel alive with you? Keelah, I just _married_ you and then you were _taken_ from me that day! How did you _expect_ me to feel, you _bosh'tet_?!"

Shepard's face softened with regret. "It was never my intent…" he defended but clenched a fist as he sighed. "I never wanted you to be filled with this much hurt. I thought that I would be leaving you the potential for a good life if I were to die. I thought that your new homeworld and friends could distract you if I were to pass, to be honest."

"They never mattered to me at all," Tali sighed bitterly. "And now that I know that there is nothing left for me in this galaxy, what else is there that can entice me to stay?"

"Don't you _dare_, Tali," Shepard rose up on a knee and approached her closely, but he still did not physically touch her. "I do not even want you to even consider what you are thinking right now."

"And why not?!" Tali yelled back as she gestured to her face. "What's there to stop me from pulling off my mask and waiting here until an infection kills me? Or how about I jump off the ledge and hope I die instantly from the fall? If that is the only way back to you, then why shouldn't I take it?"

"Because you are _stronger_ than that, Tali, and you have your entire life ahead of you!" Shepard shouted emphatically. "Do you think that I would have sacrificed my life for you with the knowledge that you would just kill yourself anyway? No! I died so that you could _live_, Tali! Don't throw everything away just for me. Your life is not worth that trade!"

"I…I _can't_," Tali said. "I can't go on without you, John."

"You must. You have to. You're so strong, Tali. I know that you might want to end your pain, but I promise you that it will fade in time. You just have to have faith that your wounds will heal."

"I don't…I don't ever want to forget you, John," Tali mumbled.

"You won't," Shepard assured. "The memory of me will linger; it will hurt sometimes, but you will always cherish the time we had together. You will speak with fondness about me to your friends and your family. And you will have the memory that, until the end, I always loved you, Tali. Keep living, Tali. Live the life that I was not allowed to have, so that when your time finally comes, you can share everything with me when we reunite in eternity."

Tali sat up, the contents of her stomach painfully rushing downwards. "What do you want from me now?"

"To leave this place and never return," Shepard said. "There is nothing left for you here. It's time for you to go home." He then gave her a wink. "But…there is something else as well that you can do for me right now."

"What's that?"

"Can you sing for me?"

Staring back at his anxious face, Tali's heart heaved as she was reminded of her final promise to Shepard. She curled her knees to her chest and resumed staring out into the wide abyss, looking past the myriad tubes and cold contours, finding the light within that she could draw from, burgeoning into her courage.

Taking a deep breath, Tali straightened her back and slowly began to speak, her voice finally catching when enough air was traveling through her throat. The words came forth automatically, her voice husky with emotion which caused her to pause intermittently between words, but Tali kept going as soon as she had enough energy to speak.

"_Let the moon's shining light…hide two lovers…with its rays.  
Though I know…that dawn will set…us on course for separate ways.  
I will hold…this night in memory for…all my living days.  
Now unmasked…I…feel…your…skin…on mine."_

She spent a few seconds to catch her breath and soon resumed singing her song. The tune was the exact same one she had hummed to Shepard all that time ago, but with the lyrics, it was easier to let the melody shine through. Her voice hardly cracked at all after the first stanza, flowing with the words as she recited from memory one of her favorite childhood songs. Closing her eyes, she was swept up in the musicality of the moment, letting the last syllable linger before she ran out of breath, the final echo lingering wonderfully in the air.

Opening her eyes again, Tali started to weep as she saw that the spot where Shepard had been sitting next to her was now unoccupied, just like she always thought, but the reality stung all the same. His departure felt like a stab wound to the heart, one that was so painful that Tali actually stopped breathing for a long time. She could not stop a wail of agony from viciously bursting from her mouth and she hung her head, letting her tears drip onto the thick glass of her visor while they cascaded down her face. Tali rocked in place as she drew her knees to her chest, burying her head between her legs as she continued to cry. Her moans of sorrow were the only noises apparent that entire section of the Reaper, taunting her with their repeated utterances through the machine.

Gone again. It hurt just as badly as the first time she lost him.

Tali sat in the same position for almost half an hour before she found the strength to stand. Her knees ached as they extended, her strained tendons praying for respite. She still felt awful; her balance was very uncoordinated. It felt like she had a fever for her forehead was burning, her face was sticky and wet, and her chest so tight that it seemed like she was brushing the point of losing consciousness. Still howling and blindly crying, Tali staggered out towards the lone hallway, using her hands to steady herself on the walls.

Nearly sightless from her grief and tears, Tali continued to stumble through the interior of the Reaper, somehow navigating her way back to the shuttle. At one point, her hip collided with a nearby container and she nearly fell, now having physical pain to cry about. She leaned on the case and doubled over as she a lump begin to surge up her throat. She gagged, wanting to vomit but her empty stomach yielded nothing, so she spent the next few minutes dry heaving on the ground, her mask still on and her face an absolute mess as her tears soaked her skin.

Once her gut had calmed, Tali stood up again, but she continued to bawl in her solitude. She cried for her dead husband. She cried for believing in her futile hopes. She cried because there was nothing else left to do. Her sobs turned to yells of heartbreak as she shuffled along, dimly hoping that someone would hear her.

Her boots caught over something and Tali toppled heavily to the ground. She thrust her arms out and screamed as her knees and hands smacked onto the hard metal painfully. Glancing behind her, she saw that she had tripped over a shotgun, lying next to the hand of its dead owner: another vorcha. Now holding a hand to her ribs, Tali was about to stand back up when she heard a scraping noise from the other side of the platform.

Grabbing the fallen shotgun, Tali made sure to clench the weapon tightly in her hands just to confirm that it, in fact, did exist. She quickly racked the side to make sure that it had a thermal clip ready to fire and she stood up after pointing the barrel towards the shadowy corner.

"W-Who…" Tali blubbered, "…who's there? G-Get out right now!"

"Tali, wait," the shadow said and a person walked out from the depths. The figure had one arm raised in surrender while the other was clasped firmly over his abdomen, where blood from a stab wound was just beginning to dry. Their face was a mess with blood encrusting their features. A swollen eye gleamed blue, bloodshot, and he had a fairly large limp as he approached.

"It…it can't be," Tali gasped.

"Tali, put the gun down," Garrus said as he walked forward, his footsteps slow and precise.

"Stay back!" Tali exclaimed, her eyes wide and fearful. She jabbed at the air with the shotgun. "Don't…don't come any closer!"

"Please, Tali," Garrus begged as his gaze turned sorrowful. "It's me, _Garrus_!"

"No…no," Tali shook her head, the position of her gun now beginning to waver. "You're dead too. I saw you fall!"

The turian shook his head as he gingerly took another step. "I _did_ fall, Tali. But there was another platform just below that caught me. I only broke a few ribs, that's it."

The gap between the two was only a few meters now. Tali seemed to shrink as the considerably taller turian moved in her direction, currently caught with indecision. The infinite black of the shotgun barrel was still pointed at Garrus, though.

"Tali, please put the gun down," Garrus repeated softly.

The quarian did not comply, continuing to train the barrel on the man across from her. "A-Are you real?" her timid voice squeaked out. "Please…please just tell me that you are real!"

"I am real," the turian's calm voice said. "I am just as real as you."

"Don't lie to me," the quarian spoke haltingly, on the verge of crying again. "Don't you lie to me too."

"I promise you, I am real. Put the gun down, Tali."

"S-Stop it…" Tali sobbed, wishing for her demons to depart and leave her in peace. "Why are you still here?! Why is this happening to me?! Nothing is real anymore! _Just leave me alone!_"

"Tali…" Garrus said before he reached out and gently pushed the shotgun away from his direction. He then gave a light tug and the weapon easily came out of Tali's grip, like she was willing to depart with the gun this whole time. He could have easily batted the shotgun away all along, but Garrus chose to set the gun down carefully on the ground behind him. Tali's shoulders slumped in defeat at the instant of interference and Garrus let out a breath he did not even know he had been holding.

"This is real, Tali," Garrus spoke to the quarian. "I am real. You are real. It's over, Tali. It's all over. You don't need to be afraid anymore."

Tali sighed and pitched forward like she was in the process of fainting. Alarmed, Garrus sprung the extra step and caught her before she could unceremoniously slam into the ground. But, still in control of her senses, Tali wrapped her arms around Garrus and he winced as her embrace put pressure on his stab wound. The quarian buried her visor against the turian's chestplate and began to openly cry once more, her lithe body shaking with every sob that she made. Garrus awkwardly returned the hug and used his hands to gently pat the back of Tali's hooded head while he steadied her upright.

"H-Hold m-m-me, Garrus," the quarian trembled violently. "Just…just hold me…for a moment."

Garrus said nothing, because he could not think of anything that would be appropriate for the situation. Rather, he complied with Tali's request and held her tenderly, their bodies swaying as they stood. He closed his eyes while he listened to Tali slowly attempt to stifle her weeping, feeling like he had been stabbed in the heart and not the gut as he heard his friend cry so helplessly. He tightened his grip upon Tali and gave a deep sigh, his eyes looking far off into the distance, fighting to hold back tears himself.

The serenity of the dark and the quiet beckoned to them, the only living souls in this place of death. There was nothing tying them down here anymore and soon they would leave the Reaper to be lost to the endless void of the singularity, while they headed back to the relative safety of their civilizations.

They would never return to this place.

* * *

**A/N: The epilogue and some of my final notes will be released when they're ready. And with that, I hope you've enjoyed what you've read.**


	19. Epilogue: Loved and Lost

The superseding weeks from the very moment the entire affair had ended simply passed by in a blur to Tali. She dimly could recall the shuttle trip back to Rannoch through bleary eyes and a splitting headache, slumped in her chair while a silent Garrus flew the shuttle in the seat beside her. Tali had not felt like talking at all and had spent the entire time in a dreamless state – floating in some kind of a limbo between being lucid and asleep, hoping that her mind would slacken itself so that she could take some much-needed time to rest – to be lost in the realm of unconsciousness.

Truthfully, once she had arrived on Rannoch, Tali had been expecting a company of marines to immediately restrain and arrest her the minute she walked off the shuttle, but apparently that was not going to be the case. Rather, Admiral Raan was the only person waiting at the foot of the ramp, her posture trim and proper as always, but with a sad and heavy look in her eyes. Xen was not with her, as Tali had expected for it would have just meant trouble, but that fact did not assuage her in the slightest. Tali was confused at her relatively subdued welcome but proceeded to present herself as a captive for Raan to do with as she wished, with her wrists held outward and her chin held high. She knew what she had done and she was going to own up to her mistakes, for it was only the honorable thing to do.

Raan, however, did not take Tali into custody, to Tali's surprise. Rather, she forced the younger woman's arms back down before giving her a hug in relief. Tali, a little shaken, managed to return the gesture while Raan thanked the Ancestors profusely that Tali had managed to return to Rannoch safely. It had been a long time since Tali had felt cared about and so she just let the moment drag on for as long as it could last, until Raan broke away so that she could explain everything to Tali.

Apparently the lack of Admiral Xen being with Raan at this moment was due to the fact that Xen had been arrested while she had been gone for conspiring to eliminate her, Tali learned. Raan explained that Paav had been approached by Xen previously to take part in her plan to kill Tali off, but when he refused, she promised to do so by other means. Thanks to Paav sending a copy of his conversation with Xen over to Raan, she and a couple bodyguards were able to confront Xen with her exchange and subsequently arrested her. They found records of Xen dealing with a human gang operating on the fringes of civilized space on the woman's console – explicitly detailed logs denoting how she was able to lead the humans to Tali's location. When confronted with the evidence, Xen had apparently fallen silent, which merely compounded her guilt. She had been interred just before Tali had arrived, as a matter of fact.

That meant, Raan had told Tali, that because Xen was currently incarcerated, the admiral's threat of putting Tali under trial for her assault was now null and void. There was talk amongst the population that Xen could be exiled for her conspiracy to cause harm to one of their own, even. Despite the good news, Tali did not feel all that happy. Actually, she felt rather empty.

* * *

Garrus, after saying his goodbyes to Tali and promising to return to check up on her more often, hitched a ride to the Citadel for him to go his own way. The last Tali heard, was that the Primarch was up in arms about the entire debacle that Garrus had gotten himself involved in and wanted him arrested immediately so that he could be transported back to Palaven to stand trial. Unfortunately for the Primarch, Garrus had fled the Citadel and headed for Earth, where the Hierarchy had no jurisdiction over him. Further aggravating the situation for the Primarch was the fact that he legally could not bring Garrus back to Palaven by force since he had already tainted such an operation by bringing in Nitherius, a Council Spectre, to do a job in the name of the Hierarchy – creating a conflict of interest and earning the ire of the Council upon his head. The Primarch could not afford to utilize more resources to extradite Garrus back to his homeworld, lest he risk displeasure from the galactic community. The most that Victus could enact without earning himself and the Hierarchy sanctions was to declare that Garrus was to be permanently banished from Palaven, never to return under the penalty of interment.

For Garrus, the notion that he was banished from his home planet was disappointing, but not debilitating. He knew that the Hierarchy did not have the spine to go against the will of the Council by arresting him; Nitherius' technically illegal involvement had screwed up the situation too much that the Hierarchy could not take any offensive action against him and the Council was already sore about losing one of their Spectres to a clandestine operation that they were unaware of. Talks in the political field about creating a stronger line between Council and individual government duties were apparently now being shuttled around, now that the Council was making noise about this issue. Word got out fast, apparently, but no one in any government seemed to be privy to the exact events that had detailed this derailment of firm political boundaries.

With Liara's help, Garrus was able to find a place on Earth, who granted him asylum almost immediately. Garrus had chosen not to reside on the Citadel as it had a very murky sense of extradition while Earth's was clearly defined. The planet's inhabitants were rather ecstatic that one of Shepard's former crew had chosen to reside on Earth and they were very amenable in the entire citizenship process. As long as he was within Earth's atmosphere, he was safe from any intrusive visits from the Hierarchy and had legal immunity from any foreign government here. Garrus bought a house in the very affluent community of Thousand Oakes, California, where the dry weather and balmy temperatures tended to agree with him – a very Palaven-like climate. His human neighbors were very welcoming and he quickly felt accepted in his new environment. Whenever they were off-duty, Kaidan Alenko and James Vega would come around to visit, so he had no shortage of interaction. Garrus still missed Palaven, but as time passed, he learned to love his new planet and eventually all thoughts of his homeworld became wisps of memories, lost to a faint breath of wind.

* * *

Punishment had also not managed to escape Tali throughout her travels. She was still stripped of her rank as an admiral, unable to maintain a position in the military for the rest of her life, but that was as severe as her retribution came. She was not exiled, that much was certain, but Raan said that she would have to place Tali on house arrest for a while until she was certain that she would not pull any more outrageous stunts.

One of the conditions that Raan made for Tali was that she had to see a therapist every week, to help "stabilize her emotions." Tali had been so willing to throw everything under the rug that she agreed to the condition immediately. The therapist was nice, at least. She had been a former captain during the war and retired afterward, wanting to take a route dedicated to interacting with more people. She came by Tali's place on a regular schedule while the two of them had piping hot drinks together. Tali rarely talked during these sessions, but she was slowly uttering more and more responses the more she got to know the therapist. Perhaps talking things over was the release she had been awaiting all this time. The therapist kept noting improvement with each meeting, to her pleasure.

There had been one final thing that Tali felt she had to do before Raan had finished "debriefing" her. To get rid of the immeasurable guilt weighing her heart down, she willingly divulged the place where Paav had died, but remained mum on exactly who killed him out of fear that she would incur greater penalties if she outed the truth. Thankfully, Raan did not inquire of the circumstances, but the look she gave Tali told her that she could tell the truth just by reading her weak body language. It shamed Tali to no end, but she kept silent.

A week later, a squad returned from Cygnus X-3 with Paav's body in tow. Tali and Raan were there to witness it, with Raan glancing at her the entire time which instilled upon Tali the idea that the elder admiral was practically daring her to out the fact that she killed Paav. The terrifying notion was beating on her with every pulse of her heart, a constrictive feeling that left her numb and frightened. But no words were exchanged between them and it was only when Paav's crying widow arrived to claim the remains, did Tali finally turn away in shame.

Tali had endured a lot in her life, but she was not yet ready to look that woman in the eye. After what had happened, she just could not muster that sort of strength.

* * *

A few months later, Tali now stood as far as the precipice could allow, watching the waves pulverize the rocks several stories below her. Tali was not worried about falling off of the cliff side, for the high winds were doing an admirable job in keeping her back, almost blowing her hood off of her helmet. She dug her boots in the ground as she raised her arms to let the salty spray bead onto her gloves, the microscopic droplets glistening in the dying light.

The sunset off in the distance, flickering off of the water, gave an orange glow to the purple sky. The dusty winds swooped over the rising landscape, and the shrubs hardy enough to grow in this arid climate bristled every time a blast of air hurtled by.

Behind Tali, out of sight, the two officers assigned to maintain her house arrest ruffled uncomfortably. They were undoubtedly concerned with the person that they were supposed to be guarding being positioned rather close to the edge. Their weapons remained safely on their hips, but if Tali was going to continue standing at the lip much longer, they would have to intervene. Raan had specifically mentioned that no harm must come to the woman, self-inflicted or otherwise, and the two were aiming to keep it that way.

Thankfully, Tali stepped back soon after, coming a safe distance away from the raging current that created a perpetual roar throughout the cove. The guards relaxed behind her and they started to move about a little more freely in relief. Tali did not notice their turmoil at all, nor did she ever have any intent to cause them to panic. She liked walking around outside Rannoch. She liked being out in the open air and mingling amongst the vegetation and wildlife. She liked coming up to the edge of the cliff and feeling what it was like to be on the edge of the world. The urge for her to take that extra step and plunge into the sea never once impacted in her mind, though. At this point in her life, to follow through was simply a terrible waste. It would only cause _more_ pain if she did, in fact, jump. There was no need for that anymore, she did not want to hurt another person – herself included. She was done with hurting people now.

Bringing her left hand to chest height, Tali rubbed at her wrist and considered her shortened index finger briefly. The phantom pain from her wound had not hurt her much lately and had been practically nonexistent in the past couple weeks. Mentally considering how her injury had happened, though, tended to aggravate the wound and cause it to throb, which she only did if she was feeling particularly pensive on some days. The pain helped her feel alive. It reminded her of how she got here and what she lost in the process.

Looking back over her shoulder at the awe-inspiring surf, the salty water crashing down on the beach and foaming amongst the sand, Tali began to head back over down the path towards the lone dwelling near the beginning of the foothills. Comprised out of stone, mortar, and bits of scaffolding, this house was sturdy enough to withstand the elements of Rannoch, having been completed while Tali was away. Tali had picked out the location a long time ago when she had first arrived on the planet and it was Raan's idea that she would be better off if she lived separate from the main quarian settlement so as not to attract unwanted attention, therefore she had personally overseen the completion of the house in preparation for the arrival of its permanent tenant. Tali had agreed and appreciated the gesture; it was only a five minute shuttle ride over the mountain range to the main camp. She was secluded here, but not completely isolated.

The house here was her own, a far cry from the shack she had previously inhabited. It was not quite up to her specifications, but with a little time and patience, Tali felt that she could make it into the best damn house on the planet. It was currently cozy, but Tali loved it all the same. It possessed two rooms – one for sleeping and the other for relaxing, a portable kitchen set, and the interior was a completely sealed shell so that it could be disinfected to facilitate suit removals, if need be. Currently, her house was rather sparse with possessions, a tidbit that Tali did not currently know if she would ever get to rectifying. Most of the stuff that she owned was still in her apartment on the Citadel, but she did not feel like going through the effort of transferring everything over to her place on Rannoch. She felt that she would be removing too many memories if she did that.

There was still at least half an hour before the sun went down, so Tali decided to linger out in her yard some more while there was still light. There was a stone well just on the side of her house, one that featured a solar-powered desalination device that filtered the water as it was pumped up the pipes from the sea. She picked up a watering can and dipped it into the well, filling it with fresh water. Hefting the full can, Tali approached her meager garden that she had created in her front lawn and began to tip the water into the fresh trestles that she had sewn a few days previously. The tilled land absorbed the water but the parched desert ground that had not been attended to swallowed the liquid up greedily, evaporating a lot more quickly in the arid environment.

The plants that she had buried were not native to Rannoch, but Liara and Garrus had been instrumental in sending her a few packets of dextro seeds for her to do with as she wished – a few sweet smelling flowers and fruit bushes were what the packets denoted. In reality, Tali had no idea how to grow plants, having had no previous experience working with such forms of life, but after she had watched a few clips on the extranet, she had become confident enough to attempt creating a miniature ecosystem right in her yard, making sure to copy the techniques that the virtual hosts recommended. It was more of a chore than she had anticipated, but everyone stressed that "patience is key." Tali continued in minding her seeds, making sure to appropriately water and fertilize them as necessary, but there were some days when she wondered if she was actually doing the proper planting procedures correctly and that she had no idea of knowing that failure had set itself upon her.

But today, it was apparent that her efforts had not been in vain. A little green sprout was now poking up from the soil where there had been nothing the day before. She had not failed after all! Smiling for what had to be the first time in weeks, Tali gingerly reached out her hand and brushed the tiny seedling with her finger, flaking off the bits of dirt that clung to the miniature leaves.

"Hello there," Tali whispered to the plant, her grin broadening happily.

She took special care in giving the sprouting plant a bit more water, dampening the soil around it. Tiny droplets beaded on the leaves, the green color looking especially fresh and healthy. It would be a beautiful red flower someday, and Tali could already imagine herself taking off her helmet in the future, not minding the consequences, to take a deep whiff of its strong scent and fill her nostrils with a sweet smell. Still, that was a ways from now, but it was something to look forward to, at least.

Tali spent a few more minutes managing her garden, using her hands to shape the soil to her liking. She rinsed off the dirt and grime clinging to her suit afterward from the leftover water in the can and headed inside just as the sun dropped behind the curve of the _Idranil_ sea. The airlock hissed and the interior door opened once the sterilization generator had thoroughly kicked in. The generator itself was loud, a noisy humming coming from the back wall, but it was necessary if Tali did not want to spend the rest of her life confined in a suit while on Rannoch. She found that she actually slept better with it on as it did an admirable job in replicating the engine noises that serenated her to sleep when she used to live on the Flotilla.

Everything certainly had changed from when she had started out as a pilgrim.

Tali pulled out a packet of sterilized rations from her cupboard and proceeded to pour them into a tube, mix them with water, and proceed to heat it in her hydrator. As Tali pulled out her desk chair and waited for her dinner to be ready, she folded her hands across her stomach, already anticipating the coming day. The therapist was scheduled to arrive in the morning tomorrow, ostensibly bringing her usual optimistic attitude. Tali thought she would have been sick of this woman by now, but she was starting to grow on her. The therapist had a unique sense of humor and she was very bound by realism when talking to Tali through her anecdotes. They were not fun, these discussions, but if they were her ticket to her independence, then she was willing to cooperate by any means necessary.

In the midst of waiting, Tali could not help but feel lonely all the same. A flash of a memory; her crying while talking to her husband's hallucination came forth and she gave a small whimper, tears beginning to cloud her vision. She closed her eyes to prevent her tears from spilling and waited for the sensation to pass, leaving her breathing hard in her chair, her chest feeling icy. This happened to her occasionally, ever since she had arrived back on Rannoch she had been prone to these sorts of mini-attacks. The therapist had said that it was all psychological and that the key to dealing with them was to confront them directly. It was going to keep hurting, unless she did something about it.

Opening her eyes, Tali took a deep breath and leaned over to pluck a picture frame from her desk. It was the only item that Tali requested Garrus send to her from her Citadel apartment. She tenderly skimmed the surface of the picture with her fingers, a sad smile coming to her face. The frame depicted a scene taken from a party, the responsible individual for the shot most likely being Joker, that the Normandy crew had held in the apartment a few weeks before the climactic battle on Earth. Portrayed through a thin sheet of glass, Tali sat scrunched up on one of the couches, while on her leftmost side was Shepard. The human was smiling heavily and his gaze was locked with the Tali in the picture as the rest of the crew focused on other activities around them, not paying the happy couple any mind. One of her legs was thrown over the human's, his arm was around her shoulders, and they were linking hands, looking as sweet as could be. Even though she was masked, Tali knew that the image of her in the picture had to be smiling, as she could think of no other reaction that would have been possible to achieve in that moment.

_I am a Shepard. John is my husband. I got the chance to be his wife, who else could be that lucky?_

"The best that anyone could hope for," Tali breathed to herself. "Even if it was only for a little while."

Leaning back in her chair, Tali folded the picture across her lap, having committed that image to memory, drowning out the pain with the reminiscence of life. Living out the wonderful sequence of events in her head, she felt her mouth rise upward as each individual recollection of the charismatic human flashed by in a drawn out sequence. She felt like that she was on the cusp watching the events occur, but not quite living in those moments. The feeling of loneliness did not arise, despite that, and Tali finally breathed freely as she pondered, deep in thought, until she finally broke through her mental barrier with a grateful cry of victory.

In her mind's eye, Tali floated down into the party, oblivious to the drunken rabble around her. Shepard seemed to instantly spot her from the couch and quickly sat up to take her hand. He flashed her that charming grin of his and she giggled, completely smitten with the human once again. Holding each other in their arms, they swayed in their own private dance, Tali's head against Shepard's chest. She imagined that she could feel his heartbeat and let herself be calmed from the gentle rhythm that the two shared together.

Shepard then bent his head and whispered something that only Tali could hear, and it was done so tenderly, so passionately, that Tali could not resist giving out a bubbly laugh and bouncing on her toes.

"_My beautiful Tali, you are so loved. I don't ever want you to forget that."_

The faces around her seemed to be peering in her direction, wanting to know what it was that Shepard had said to make her feel so ecstatic. Tali kept her mouth closed, though. Like they would ever know just how besotted this man could make her. She then hugged the human so tightly that she felt completely safe, like all the evil in the galaxy could not pry her away from the man so that he would be there for her, forever.

And in some way, she had succeeded in holding on.

Back in her small room, Tali, in a drowsy state, gave a drunken smile towards the ceiling, utterly content for the first time in months. Then, in her solitude, she quietly began to sing.

* * *

**A/N: I've always wanted to do a story with a twist.**

**Of course, I've done rather "soft" twists in previous stories, but I've never written one where the entire twist was woven throughout the whole story itself. I wanted to write something that way because I have not encountered such a technique all that often on this site and I thought that it would be a great test for me to tackle as an author. The first problem was trying to figure out just what the hell I was going to write about. For a long time, I could not decide how I should frame a narrative around a twist ending until after I had watched dark and thoughtful movies like _Apocalypse Now_, _The Sixth Sense_, and played a few games like _Spec Ops: The Line_, and _Bioshock_. I took cues from those mediums and used them as a template for how to frame the story of _Irreparable_. Hopefully it feels realized as a complete story to you all.**

**The actual concept for _Irreparable_ actually came to me over a year ago. I always had the idea of writing a story about Tali assuming that Shepard had been kidnapped after the war in ME3 and going off to save him. Trouble was, I could never think of the direction I wanted to take with such a concept, so I mentally shelved it time and time again, choosing to work on other projects instead. It was only after I had watched a string of particularly dark films did I get the idea that, "Hey, what if Tali never found Shepard at the end?" That seemed very intriguing to me, so I started outlining a set of thoughts on the matter and eventually became more and more excited about the story that I could tell once I had a firm plot down.**

**What had become a simple set-up had transformed into a story that detailed the mental decline of a beloved character due to PTSD and them trying to cope with a loss. I was actually inspired by real-world accounts of people with PTSD and how some of them could not discern between reality and fiction that I wanted to create a story chronicling such a descent. Viewed that way, Tali's increasingly violent actions throughout _Irreparable_ become more understandable as she dives further and further into her fantasy. That was where the hallucinations came in. I was a bit hesitant at first at including hallucinations as I had used a version of that trope in _An Interval of Calamity_, but that was dealing with indoctrination-induced demons while this was a bit more grounded in reality. Either way, I don't think I will be able to use hallucinations in either form in future stories without the audience catching wind of something fishy going on. I don't really want that to become one of my trademarks, despite the fact that I really like it.**

**_Irreparable_ was never designed to have a happy ending, I'm afraid. I had reached a point where I was tired from giving my stories happy endings that I decided that this one would go all-out with the darkness and be as realistic of a tale as possible. It was a gambit on my part to see how audiences would react to it, and it was a challenge for me, as an author, to write. That's why I think that _Irreparable_ might be one of my personal favorites because it refused to compromise to, as ArchReaperN7 aptly put, "Disney-grade happy endings and wonderfully flawless character relationships."**

**Sure, it would be ideal for Tali to find Shepard in the end and to have a family together, but that would have been a terrible moral for the story. After all, we saw Tali commit all those atrocities in _Irreparable_ that if she had gotten to her goal in the end, it basically tells that audience that the ends justify the means, which is insulting to developing the character of Tali and would basically mean that she had learned nothing on her journey. After all, Tali was both the main protagonist yet the main _antagonist_ of _Irreparable_ and what kind of a story would let the antagonist win? The Illusive Man was always an illusion and thus could never have been an antagonist. Paav and Nitherius were just soldiers doing their duty in response to crimes that _Tali_ committed, so they were never true antagonists as well. Like the Illusive Man said in his final scene, everything that had occurred was all Tali's fault and if she had retrieved Shepard in the end, it would have only meant that her wretched actions of violence and murder were completely worth it in the end. What kind of a messed up ending would that have been?**

**Yes, of _course_ I would have wanted Tali to be with Shepard, as she does deserve to be happy in the end, but I feel that taking that ending would have ultimately cheapened the story and have rendered _Irreparable_ to be an entirely pedestrian affair. (Girl goes to rescue man. She rescues him. The end.) That, to me, is not interesting. That's a very bland and predictable plot, which is probably one of the worst sins a writer can commit with a story.**

**Thus I needed to implement a twist to spice things up (the need is revealed!) It was fun work trying to leave little breadcrumbs throughout the story, but also difficult as I had to write them in such a way that it wouldn't give the twist away too early. Some people, according to the reviews, managed to catch on to some aspects, though, but it appears that the manner in which it was conducted surprised everyone (if anyone was completely unsurprised at the ending, though, I have not heard from them.) It gave me a twisted sort of pleasure with everyone wanting to know when I was going to reunite Shepard and Tali, when in reality I knew that they were never going to be reunited at all. (I've been called evil for that and I firmly embrace it!) It was also funny on my end that the freaking _cover_ of the story gave away the twist, yet no one spotted it. All in all, everyone reacted exactly the way I had hoped, which was extremely gratifying for me as it indicated that I succeeded with my intent of horrifying people. (Yay for darkness!)**

**So, after spending a third of a year writing this damn story, I must extend to you all my thanks for reading this thing through. It was quite an experience working on _Irreparable_ and I'm glad that you could enjoy it.**

**If you were to ask me what my next endeavor is going to be, I already have a response to that. After spending a good amount of time writing about such wonderful characters like Tali and Shepard, I feel that my mind needs to take a break onto other projects. My next story will still take place in the Mass Effect universe, but it'll be more of an experiment to see what I can do with new perspectives and techniques. It should be interesting, but I'm pretty much burned out at this point, so I don't think I will start writing again for a good, long while. But as to my future on this site, I can say with confidence that you shouldn't count me out just yet!**

**Thank you all once again, and keep on reading. You guys are the reason us authors do this sort of thing, you know.**

**-Rob Sears**


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